Love Rehashed
by gleelover7
Summary: Santana was a regular girl with regular friends who stopped believing in love after her parents' divorce. That all changed when her father started dating a younger woman. Who is she? Why is her smirk the most annoying yet gorgeous thing Santana's ever seen? And why can't she stop thinking about her? WARNING: A form of Incest
1. Chapter 1

Yes! I'm back! Full swing. This is my third attempt at writing a fanfic, and I promise I won't delete the story this time. As long as you guys review review review, I won't go anywhere.

I've had this idea in mind for a very long time, so I'm deciding to finally do something about it. This may make some readers uncomfortable, so please read the warning before you continue.

Summary: Santana was a regular girl with regular friends who stopped believing in love after her parents' divorce. That all changed when her father started dating a younger woman. Who is she? And why is her laugh the most infectious sound Santana's ever heard?

Warning: Incest, age difference, foul language.

Pairings: Quinntana, Brittana friendship, Pucktana.

* * *

There was something so plain and something so boring about her high school. Santana could never quite put her finger on it, but from the moment she stepped into the school, she immediately felt on edge. She had no reason to. Santana was one of the most, if not the most popular girl in school. With her red and white Cheerio uniform, she captured everyones attention and knocked down everyone's self esteem.

Santana didn't necessarily try to be a bitch, it just sort of came off that way. Her confidence was slightly overbearing and got misunderstood for arrogance.

She was raised in a good family. Her mom got pregnant at 25 with the love of her life; Santana's dad. Their love was a fairytale. Met at 17, married at 21, pregnant by 25. From the stories Santana has heard, she didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as her dad loved her mom. The Latina always promised herself that when she fell in love, she would make sure it was as powerful as her parents love was.

But that's the thing about love: it's the most unexpected and uncontrollable thing you'll ever encounter. Love is a passionate, yet vague term. People use the word hundreds of times a day that it's lost all its accountability and meaning. For example, you love the new computer you got for your birthday, you love the weather a particular day, you love the new movie that came out, you love the newest TV series, you love your pet, you love your mom, you love your boyfriend or you love the most unhealthy food of them all. And no matter how passionate or how strong that love once was, it all fades. It all ends.

And so did her parents.

Santana was 12 when her parents got divorced. Looking back, she should have seen the signs, but at the time, it was a complete shock. From what she knew, her parents were as in love as they were on their wedding day. But of course, when the lights went out, and their daughter when to bed, the adults fought like lions. They couldn't agree on the simplest of things and eventually, the bigger things were impacted as well.

Love.

It's a funny term because it never lasts.

Santana learned that a long time ago. There is no such thing as love. If there was, why did her parents, who were perfect for each other, drift apart? Why did they stop believing in the power and strength of their love? Why did they need to tear down everything they spent years creating?

She's 16 years old now and she's still never forgotten how painful it was to see her mom pack up her things and leave. She said she needed to go, that space was the best thing for them. At 12 years old, Santana's mother looked her in the eye and promised her that everything would be okay.

She lied.

That day, when Santana's mother left, she never saw her again. Maria packed up all of her things and left. She left her ex husband who was between jobs to raise a 12 year old girl who didn't understand why love failed sometimes. She left her family to fend for themselves. And because of that, Santana would never forgive her.

It's been 4 years since her mother left, and 4 years since they last spoke. It's been 4 years since Maria looked her daughter in the eye and promised her something that she broke within minutes. It's been 4 years since Santana's fairytale of love crashed and burned. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Maybe that's why she hated her school. Maybe it was because every kid she passed in the halls wasn't struggling like she was. Maybe it was because those boys and girls she saw holding hands didn't realize the tragedy waiting for them. Maybe it was because every person who thought they were experiencing young love were just experiencing a lie.

Santana knew better than to believe in that again.

On the inside, Santana struggled. She never allowed herself to get too attached to anyone, she never allowed herself to even consider the possibility of love, and she never said kind words to someone who didn't deserve it.

She had friends. As a cheerleader, having friends is sort of a requirement. You can't be a cheerleader if you're not popular. You can't be a cheerleader if you don't have friends, and you can't be a cheerleader if you don't make others feel worse about themselves.

But her best friend was her dad. He was the only one that understood.

On the outside, however, she was a strong, confident, and sexually active teenager. Those who knew her, knew that she was… friendly. She was the girl that lost her virginity on the first day of high school. She was the girl that had to go to the clinic to make sure she didn't have any STD's. She was the girl who was throwing her life away.

So Santana liked sex? Who cares? Sex was a distraction. Sex was cardio. Sex took her mind off of the fact that everything good ends. It was her therapy.

It's not like she was going around and sleeping with every guy she laid eyes on. In fact, Santana only ever slept with two guys. Noah Puckerman and Finn Hudson. The latter was the worst lay of her life. The former was her regular sex friend. They used each other when they needed to get off. It worked for them and they stopped asking questions a long time ago.

They just were.

So that's how Santana got here. That's how she became the bitter, slightly fragile, cheerleader that she was now. Her parents divorce set off a trigger that spiralled into the life she had now.

* * *

Wearing her signature cheerio uniform, her hair slicked back in a high pony, Santana walked towards her locker. She couldn't wait to be done with this school. Just a year and a half left. Then, she could move far away from this place. Of course, if she did that, she would feel incredibly guilty about leaving her dad. But for once in her life, she needed to be selfish. She needed to worry about herself first.

Santana could already tell that it was going to be a crappy day. This day was always crappy. The second she saw what day it was, her entire mood changed.

Standing by her locker, Santana searched for her english book and binder, getting ready for period one. From the corner of her eye, she saw someone approaching. Santana tried her best to ignore it because she wasn't exactly in the mood for socializing, but the figure was getting closer and closer and Santana knew that there was no way to ignore it.

"Hi, friend," the blonde chirped happily. Her voice was too happy for this time. Her voice was too happy all the time. But Santana had a weakness for the slightly ditzy blonde. She was Santana's best friend, despite Santana's rule of not getting too attached to people, and she would always have a soft spot for the blonde.

"Morning, B," Santana grumbled. She wanted to be nice, but it was also difficult when she wasn't exactly in the best spirit.

Santana could hear Brittany chuckle beside her. It wasn't mean, it was playful. That was the best part of Brittany. She never judged Santana. Brittany knew exactly who the Latina was. She knew that Santana had a temper, she knew that Santana used to go to therapy, and she knew that Santana enjoyed sex. Frequently. And Brittany never judged her for it. In fact, she celebrated it.

Brittany was the only person who knew the truth about Santana's parents' divorce. She was the only person that knew exactly how affected Santana was by the whole thing. She knew that Santana's heart broke when her mom left. She knew that Santana still called her every night and when she heard the woman's voicemail, she cried herself to sleep. She knew that Santana stopped believing in love, and she even knew that Santana was terrified of the day when her dad decided to move on. And even though Brittany knew all those things, she never brought it up unless Santana spoke of it first. She was a very good distraction.

Brittany smiled beside her and said, "bad mood this morning?" Her voice was simply curious.

"I didn't get my coffee. You know what that does to me." Santana lied, slamming her locker once she collected her things and she turned to face her friend.

Brittany smiled when Santana gave her her full attention. "Tell you what, we'll skip second period and go to the Lima Bean, alright? Then you can get your damn coffee."

"You're the best," Santana mused, smiling sadly, even though she knew that coffee wasn't her problem.

"I know."

The two girls giggled and Santana rolled her eyes. They agreed to meet at the front doors at second period, and they would drive to the coffee house and be back in time for third period.

* * *

First period went by slow. Dreadfully slow. Santana was never exactly a fan of English, and her teacher had the most boring, monotone voice, so it was almost impossible to stay awake. Somehow, she managed, and Santana believed she deserved a medal for that.

The entire class, there was only one person who was paying attention and Santana rolled her eyes. Of course. Berry. Rachel was naive to believe that paying attention in Junior year English was going to change her life. She needed to learn how to relax, take the stick out of her ass, and be a normal teenager for once.

However, after the dreaded hour, Santana stood by the front entrance and waited for her best friend. Santana knew that Brittany cared so much about her. Offering to skip class and grab a coffee was a clear sign of that. But coffee wasn't going to fix her problems. Not today. However, she felt like she could really use an hour to spend quality time with Brittany. Especially today.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Brittany apologized as she ran over, slightly out of breath. "My teacher asked me to stay after class for a few minutes."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows. "Why? What happened?"

"I wrote my test in crayons instead of pencil. Apparently that's like… not allowed, or something."

The Latina broke out into a chuckle as she rolled her eyes. "Of course you did, Britt. Of course you did."

The ride to the coffee shop was nice. The two spoke casually the entire time, catching up after the long weekend. The spoke about the weather, about each other, about boys, and about the following weekend. Turns out, Brittany has been crushing on the boy in the wheelchair for a while now, and she's planning on acting on it.

Santana has always been supportive of Brittany, so she stayed positive and told the brunette that she was happy for her. What she didn't say was that going for Artie would ruin her reputation. People at Mckinely find Brittany's… intelligence cute. They never make fun of her for being more imaginative and slow than most people. However, if she started dating the boy in the wheelchair, all hell would break loose. Cheerleaders aren't supposed to mingle with the glee kids, let alone any one who isn't popular.

When they got to the coffee shop, Santana and Brittany casually walked into the line. It was busier than most days and Santana wondered why. Maybe because it was a Monday and everyone is stalling before they go back into their dreadful life routine. The line didn't last long and within minutes, the two girls ordered their coffees, and then found a table.

Santana was quick to take her first sip. The Latina took a greedy sip and practically moaned in response. "God, that is good," She exclaimed, giggling along with Brittany.

"So, San, tell me what's really bothering you today."

Santana's eyebrows arched up and she almost choked on her drink. "Wow, you don't waste any time, do you?"

Brittany smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's just… I can't help but feel that your mood isn't exactly a coincidence. I own a calendar, too."

The Latina looked down, almost ashamed with herself as she rubbed her temples. She hated that she knew exactly what Brittany was talking about. She hated that she still cared. God, it's been so long. By now, she should be completely over it! Santana hated that she had a weakness, that she wasn't as strong as she tried to be.

"It's the anniversary today, isn't it?" Brittany asked, her voice soft and quiet, almost like she was afraid to make Santana mad.

"4 years today."

Silence fell over the table. Brittany knew not to push it, and Santana didn't want to be pushed. 4 years ago today her mother left for good. It was the anniversary of the divorce and of the last time she ever saw her mother. This day every year, Santana can't find it in herself to be happy. It's hard, especially when memories of that day lurk in the back of her mind.

Would she ever get over it?

Would this day ever stop meaning something to her?

Every year, she asked herself the same questions, and the next year she realized that the answer was no. She would probably never get over this, and this date will always mean something to her. It was just life.

Brittany reached out and grabbed Santana's head, rubbing her knuckles affectionately. "On the bright side, that hot blonde has been eyeing you since they walked through the door," Brittany grinned, leaning closer to Santana and lowering her voice.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, yet her eyes brightened. There was a hot guy eyeing her? Even better, a hot /blonde/ guy? God, that was just a bonus. Blonde's were always Santana's type. Eagerly, she turned around in her seat but she didn't see any blonde male. "Where?" Santana groaned, somewhat impatiently.

Brittany sighed as she pointed her finger subtly, "there. In the red top and denim shorts!"

It seemed impossible for any man to wear denim shorts, but Santana kept looking. Eventually, her eyes landed on a woman with Brittany's exact description. And if Santana swung that way, she would have been totally flattered by the way those hazel eyes hungrily roamed over her body. Santana flushed and she felt a little nauseous as she turned around and faced Brittany. "God, Britt, that's a girl!" Santana hissed.

"So?"

"So?" Santana echoed. "I'm not bisexual like you are. Girls don't do it for me."

Brittany leaned her head and looked at the woman. "Too bad. You two would be so hot together."

At that comment, Santana bit her lip and couldn't help but sneak another glance. Brittany was right, the woman was definitely eyeing her like she was a piece of meat. She was very gorgeous and judging by the smirk on her lips, the two of them could have a lot of fun. For a split second, Santana wondered what it would be like to be with another girl. Hell, this person was not a girl. Not at all. She was a woman. The blonde was much older than Santana, at least 26, but that didn't prevent her from being a sight for sore eyes. She practically lit up the room.

When caught staring, Santana blushed again and turned back to Brittany. "If you like her so much, you should go for her," Santana spat, somewhat bitterly.

Brittany smirked at that. "Hmm, someone's jealous. You sure you aren't gay?"

Santana looked offended for a second before she burst into a loud laugh. Brittany sooner joined her. And once again, Brittany managed to make Santana completely forget what a horrible mother she has.

They stayed there for a full hour, and somewhere in between the gossiping and the whispering, Santana looked over her shoulder to try and find the woman again. But she was gone. Santana couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at her absence, but chose to ignore it.

* * *

After their coffee date, the rest of the day didn't seem so horrible. The classes didn't seem so long, and the people didn't seem as annoying. Even cheerio's practice didn't seem so painful. Yes, it was the anniversary of her mothers disappearance, but maybe that's not all the day was. Maybe it was a day filled with a great best friend, great coffee, and a great life. Maybe for once, things were finally going her way.

When Santana got home, she kicked off her shoes, hung her coat up on the hanger and walked into her kitchen. "Papa? I'm home!" She called loudly, and started making herself something quick to eat. Santana reached into the fridge and grabbed yogurt.

Soon enough her father walked down stairs. He looked… nice. Nicer than she's seen him in a long time. He was wearing jeans and a button up shirt styled with a casual yet fashionable tie. His hair was styled, staying off his face, yet it looked effortlessly. "Wow, Papa, you look nice," Santana commented honestly, smiling.

She was sort of surprised to see him up and dressed, not to mention a smile that big has been a rare sight for the last 4 years.

On a day like today, Santana imagined that her father would be in bed, drowning his sorrows in alcohol. But no, he was dressed and he was smiling.

"Thanks, doll. How was school?" He asked, walking towards her and kissing her on the cheek.

Santana watched her dad search for his keys and walked towards the front door.

"It was good.." Santana said hesitantly. "Papa, are you going somewhere?"

It was odd for Richard to go out on a Monday night without including his daughter. It was especially odd for Richard to go out /this/ particular day. The whole thing was strange to her.

The man nodded and looked at Santana over his shoulder, offering her one of his charming grins. "Yeah, actually. I'm uh… having dinner with a friend."

Santana's eyebrow quirked up at that. Now that caught her attention. "A special friend?"

"Santana, don't be silly."

That cooled her down a little bit. Santana wasn't exactly ready for her father to start dating. "Can't you cancel, or something? I don't exactly want to be alone today."

Richard sighed heavily. He put on his shoes and then walked back to Santana. He gently grabbed her shoulders and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "I know, sweetie. It's a hard day. It's always a hard day, but we can't keep letting this day get the best of us. We have to start living our lives. I won't be long, okay? I promise. You can invite a friend over, if you'd like."

Santana licked her lips and bowed her head, refusing to show how much this was affecting her. She spent all day looking forward to spending time with her dad. Maybe she wanted to cry on his shoulder like she did every year. Maybe she just needed the warm comfort he always provided. But she would never say that. "Okay, Papa. Go. Have fun." She put on a brave face and nodded encouragingly.

"Thank you. I love you!" And just like that, he was out the door.

Santana sighed heavily and nodded. "I love you, too," she mumbled to no one.

* * *

Santana was sitting on the edge of her bed, holding her phone tightly. She was tossing the object between hands as she stared at her blank walls. A part of her wanted to be strong enough to avoid it, but another part of her knew that she needed it.

She needed comfort.

She needed someone to help her forget.

She needed a release.

Desperately, she scanned down her contacts and called the one number she had memorized a long time ago.

"Hello?" His voice answered, calm yet confident.

It made Santana sick to her stomach that by saying what she was about to say, it would only boost his confidence and add to his ego. He didn't need an ego boost. He was pretty cocky already. "I need you."

She heard him laugh. "I'll be there in 5."

"Thank you, Puck," Santana said genuinely, shutting her eyes as a tear streamed down her face.

"Don't mention it, babe." She hung up and waited for him to come over.

She waited for him to fuck the memories out of her.

* * *

So this was a trial run! Please let me know what you think in the comments! Any reviews will keep me writing and make me eager to feed you guys more.

This chapter was to give you guys a feel for Santana's life, her relationship with Brittany, Puck, and her father.

Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Forgetting to Forget

**CHAPTER TWO**

**Thank you all for the positive feedback! I always get excited when other people take an interest in my stories. **

**The truth is, I have a general idea for where I'd like this story to go, but I don't have the in-between spots filled in. Feel free to review and suggest something you would like to see happen!**

**Warning: A form of incest, age difference, foul language**

* * *

Santana was numb all over. She wanted to feel something, but instead, she just felt indifference. She understood that this wasn't a permanent feeling; that she was only feeling this way because of the anniversary, but it still sucked. She wanted to feel something besides sadness and rage.

Why did her father leave her all alone? He knew that this day was the hardest day of the year. He knew that she couldn't get through it alone, and that the wounds were still as deep and as fresh as they were when she left 4 years ago. Santana would never understand why Richards dinner was more important than comforting his daughter when she needed it.

Who was he having dinner with?

Were they more important than Santana?

Was it a woman?

Being slammed against the nearest wall shook Santana out of her thoughts. Her eyes shot open and she stared at a hungry looking Puck.

Oh, right.

The boy smirked, placing his hands on either side of her head, trapping her against the wall. "I'm glad you called me," he husked, biting his own lips roughly.

"No talking. Just sex," Santana pleaded, reaching up and grabbing his cheek. Desperately, she pulled Puck's face towards her and met him in a sloppy kiss. Sex between them was never romantic. The first time they did it was underneath the bleachers on the very first day of high school. They have sexual chemistry. Sometimes, it's too much to handle and their need for each other turns desperate and frantic. Their sex life is pretty amazing. However, today wasn't about her attraction towards him. Today was about using him to make her forget. She needed the best distraction of all.

Tongues tangled, bodies pressed against each other, and two familiar hands grabbed a firm hold of Santana's ass. The Latina whimpered into his mouth at the feeling. God, he always knew how to make her feel alive even when she thought she was dying.

He fisted her ass in his hands and slowly, Puck's hands lowered to the back of her thighs and lifted her into his arms. Santana wrapped her legs around the boys waist and allowed him to carry her to the nearest surface. Knowing Puck, he wasn't sweet enough to take her to her bed. He usually chose the kitchen table, the floor, of if he's nice enough, the couch.

Their mouths never disconnected as he blindly walked her. Puck knew the house like the back of his hand. Whenever Richard was at work, he would come over and they would… explore every part of the house.

Santana's hands reached up and roughly tangled in his mohawk. She yanked his head backwards, causing their lips to separate. "Fuck me hard, you got it?" Santana begged, her eyes dark with lust.

For a moment, Santana could have sworn that she saw doubt and hesitation in Puck's eyes. But that was quickly overshadowed with arousal. The boy growled and nodded, throwing the Latina down on the couch. Santana laid there, looking up at the boy.

It was a rule: they never undressed each other. It was too intimate and it crossed the line from fuck buddies to something more. And Santana didn't want something more with him. She didn't want something more with anyone.

Urgently, Santana reached behind herself and unzipped her cheerio's top. Throwing it over her head, she worked quickly on her skirt. Meanwhile, Puck was already shirtless, and he was working on his jeans.

Santana had to admit, that boy had an amazing body. His abs were defined, his arms were muscular, and he was tanned. Besides his brunette hair, he was exactly Santana's type. Her eyes never left him as she slipped out of her skirt and threw the items of clothing over her shoulder. Santana was laying there in her bra and panties and Puck hovered over her in his boxers.

She licked her lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, rubbing the skin softly.

"Something's wrong," he commented, observing her sad eyes.

Santana didn't even realize that she was crying. Not until Puck commented on it, and reached up to wipe away a tear. "Nothing. I'm fine," Santana whispered, yanking his head down, desperate to feel his lips again.

Puck resisted and shook his head, "Lopez, you're hot as fuck, but you know that I don't fuck girls who are too busy crying over some guy to enjoy it."

"I'm fine, Puckerman!" Santana snapped, not at all in the mood to sit through a therapy lesson with him. Without any warning, Santana slipped her hand into Puck's boxers and grabbed a hold of his cock. She wrapped her fingers around the base, feeling how thick and hard he was for her. He could pretend he didn't want this as much as he wanted, but his little friend would always give him away. Puck always wanted her. "Now, are you going to fuck me or are you going to whine like a child?"

Apparently, that was all he needed to feel better about sleeping with her. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, enjoying her warm hand against his hard erection. He growled as he leaned forward and kissed her again. Santana's hand was busy, pumping him back and forth. Meanwhile, Puck's hand was getting busy, as well. His hand slid up Santana's toned stomach as he grabbed a fistful of her breast, squeezing it in the palm of his hand. Overtime, he had memorized Santana's body, and he knew exactly what she liked and how hard she liked it.

Puck wasn't stupid. He could taste Santana's tears on his lips, but he chose to ignore it. She clearly wanted him, and he was going to give it to her nice and hard. Usually, Puck hated being someone's second choice. He hated that no one ever felt like he was worthy of their love. But with Santana, maybe it was okay. Because he needed her as much as she needed him. "It's okay, baby," Puck whimpered against her lips. He began kissing down her jaw, and he eventually found her sensitive spot on her neck. Puck sucked, then peppered the spot with kisses. "I'll make you forget."

Santana shut her eyes, half out of arousal, and half out of sadness. She pumped his cock harder, wanting him to come so undone that he wouldn't be able to speak. She hated talking during sex. Santana let out a moan as he started sucking on her pulse point. He knew how sensitive that spot was.

"Ufhgh…" Puck moaned out as Santana worked her hand harder and harder. "B-Babe.."

Santana licked her lips and arched her back, causing their bare stomachs to rub together. It felt so good to feel something. To feel someone above her. Santana's thumb traced the head of Puck's cock as she felt pre-cum spilling out. "Are you close?"

He nodded, and then whimpered out a strangled moan. "I d-don't want to cum this way," he pleaded, panting against her neck. Puck pulled back and sat on his knees, away from Santana. "I want to be inside of you."

Santana rolled her eyes and pointed towards her purse sitting on the counter. "Condoms are in there."

Puck got off the couch, his hard erection poking through his boxers. Santana smiled, someone satisfied that she managed to make a guy so painfully hard. It was an ego boost.

While he was gone, Santana reached behind her and unclasped her bra, letting it fall off the couch. Next were her panties. She slid them down her bare legs and threw them with the rest of her clothes. Santana couldn't help but reach down and rub her folds while he grabbed the condoms. She was wet, but she wasn't soaked. That was a first.

Eventually, Puck returned with a condom between his fingers. He unwrapped it and handed it to Santana. The Latina grabbed the latex and slid it onto his cock, making sure it was secure.

"Puckzilla is going to rock your world, Lopez."

Santana rolled her eyes to herself as she felt the boys guitar fingers slip inside of her. He started slow, only working one finger. Santana hated that after all this time, he still stretched her. They've been fucking for three years and she isn't as tight as she used to be, so why does he still insist of prepping her?

Santana reached down and grabbed his wrist, preventing him for touching her any further. "I'm ready," she husked.

Puck nodded and within seconds, his cock was all the way inside of her.

"Ahhh," Santana moaned, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she adjusted to the position. "Hmm.. God, Puck. So.. Fucking.. Big.." No matter how many times they had sex, Santana was always taken back by how big he was. It was almost painful.

He shifted on top of her and slowly, he moved his hips. His cock slowly slid in and out of her. "S-San… Yeah, take it."

Santana wrapped an arm around his naked chest and clawed at his back. She moaned with every thrust, tears mixing with sweat. "H-H-Harder, Puck."

He stilled on top of her, looking down at her. "You sure?"

She nodded in response.

Without warning, he slammed into her. Repeatedly. Over and over. The room was silent except for the sounds of his balls slamming against her ass. Flap, flap, flap, flap.

Every once in a while, one of them would scream or moan in appreciation to let the other one know that they were doing something right.

"So good!"

"Fuck, you're beautiful."

"Harder."

"So close."

Santana's vision was completely blurred with her tears. Her toes curled together and she let out a strangled cry as she came. All together, her entire body relaxed and sank into the couch.

He came with her, shooting into the condom. Puck's body relaxed on top of hers and after giving himself 2 minutes to breathe, he slid off of her and pulled out.

They both whimpered at the loss of contact. He rolled the condom off, tied it up, and threw it away. They both sat there, naked, panting, and dreadfully alone. Even though they just shared an intimate act, Santana had never felt more alone in her entire life.

"You want to tell me what that was all about? I don't think I've ever seen you cry before."

"Get out," Santana demanded, sitting there without any expression on her face. The memories got fucked away, but now she was left with nothing but regret and shame. She hated that she had zero self respect for herself. Santana hated that the only time she felt alive was when Puck was laying on top of her, pounding into her.

Puck scoffed, annoyed with her mood swings. "Fuck you," he hissed, standing up. Quickly, he put on his boxers, jeans and his shirt and walked towards the front door. He felt like a cheap whore. Puck loved sex, and he never allowed himself to get too emotionally attached to anyone he slept with, but he hated when Santana used him and then pretended like she was better than him. If he remembered correctly, Santana called him. She invited him over. She begged for him, and now she's throwing him out without so much as a thank you. He was livid.

"When are you going to break down those walls of yours and finally let someone in?" He demanded to know. "Life is pretty fucking lonely sometimes, Lopez. Don't be a coward." With that, he left and slammed the door behind him.

Santana flinched at the sound and suddenly, she was all alone with her thoughts. Naked, sweaty, sticky with her own cum, and soaked in her own tears, Santana cried some more. Her mother didn't love her enough to stay around and her father didn't care enough to be there for her when she needed him. No one loved her. No one cared for her. Santana was all alone and she had never felt more miserable.

Closing her eyes, she broke down and cried.

* * *

By the time Richard got home, Santana was in her bedroom, fully clothed, and under the covers. It was almost 12:30 am. He said he wouldn't be out late.

He lied.

Santana couldn't find it in her heart to be mad at him because the truth was, her father deserved to be happy. He deserved his own freedom and he deserved to live his life.

Richard is 41. He isn't old, but he isn't exactly young anymore. If he wants to go and spend his Monday nights with a friend, he could. Santana couldn't control his life. She was just upset that she had to spend this day alone. But then again, she wasn't alone. Puck was there.

The door slammed, signifying her dads return. Santana stayed under the covers and pretended to be asleep. She wasn't used to being vulnerable and she didn't want her dad to know that she stayed awake, hoping he would come home early. She didn't want him to know that she was hurting underneath her brave smile and confident presence.

She heard his footsteps climbing each step on the stairs and as his feet got closer and closer, Santana allowed her eyes to flutter shut. Maybe if he thought she was asleep he would leave her alone, and then they could both pretend that this never happened.

Her doorknob twisted open, followed by the familiar creak of her door. Even with her eyes shut, Santana could feel her dads presence.

"Honey?" He whispered into the darkness.

Santana's eyes filled with tears beneath her eyelids as she stayed frozen.

_Please, daddy, leave me alone. _

She had no right to be mad at her father, but she couldn't help but feel abandoned. Forgotten. Unimportant.

The room filled with silence and eventually, Richard let his daughter be alone.

When Santana heard her dads door open and close, she sat up in her bed and wiped her tears. She looked over at the clock and saw that it read 12:32. With a sigh, she grabbed her phone and eyed it like it was her worst enemy.

She hated how weak she was.

Santana dialled the same 10 numbers she called every night. She pressed 'call' and brought the phone to her ear. She listened to the phone ring and ring. For a second, Santana had hope that maybe, for once, she would answer. Maybe she could hear her apologize and find out where she was. Maybe Santana could finally get over her heart ache and loss.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

It continued to ring until eventually, the line ended and the familiar voicemail message went through the speaker.

"Hi, you've reached Maria Lopez. Sorry I couldn't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll make sure to- Santana, not now. Mommy is on the phone. I'll make sure to get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you!"

Santana inhaled sharply at the message. It never got old. Maria created the message years and years ago, when Santana was just a toddler. And clearly, even after the divorce and after she left, Maria never decided to change it. Or maybe she completely forgot that was her message. Or, she stopped caring. The latter seemed like a possibility.

It sounded so foreign to hear herself laugh as a little girl. The Santana in the message seemed so curious, so full of life, and so bubbly. Santana couldn't remember the last time she felt that way. She hasn't felt like that since her mother left, that's for sure.

When Santana heard the familiar beep of the voicemail, she froze. Santana has never made it this far before. Every night when she calls her, Santana usually hangs up after her mothers voice ends. She never waits to leave a message. She's never heard the beep before. And now, she's completely frozen.

Santana is aware that she is currently leaving a message, even if she isn't saying anything, and a part of her can't find it in herself to hang up.

"I hate that I miss you," Santana whispered brokenly, before hanging up the phone. When the call ended, she threw her phone across the room and then sobbed. She made sure to cry into her pillow so she didn't wake her father. Santana let everything go. She screamed into the pillow. Santana cried until she passed out.

* * *

The following day wasn't as bad. Neither was Wednesday. In fact, the whole week went by without any more problems.

Tuesday, she and Brittany went to see a movie after school.

Wednesday, Santana flunked her science test.

Thursday, Santana and Puck fucked in the janitors closet between classes.

Friday was Friday, and that just made everything brighter and happier.

Santana wasn't a naturally angry person. She had a bad day on Monday, but she had an excuse to be miserable. Every other day she is witty, adventurous, slightly guarded, yet funny and carefree. She hates people who don't know how to have fun, so Santana never wanted to be that person. Despite failing her science test, Santana had a pretty good week.

Her dad has been going out more and more, and she's not too sure what to think about that. A part of Santana realizes that he's probably seeing someone, but she doesn't want to accept that yet. It's still too soon for her, and Santana doesn't know exactly how she would handle having a step mom.

Then again, Richard told Santana that the person wasn't a 'special' friend, so maybe he isn't sneaking around with some girl. Maybe he is just getting reacquainted with some old friends. Either way, it's none of Santana's business. He's a grown man and can do as he pleases.

* * *

After school on Friday, Santana walked into her house and exhaled in relief. It was the weekend. Finally. She couldn't wait to spend two days away from those boring red lockers, away from the naive teenagers, and away from the judging teachers. Santana was going to spend her weekend with some friends, and maybe she could spend some time with her dad. He has been acting pretty distant lately and Santana wants to get to the bottom of it.

Who knows, maybe he's struggling with the anniversary more than Santana is aware of.

"Papa?" She called, announcing her presence.

No response.

"Papa?" Santana asked again, furrowing her eyebrows. Santana slowly walked upstairs, hesitant and slightly worried about what she would find. It could be something as terrifying as her father dead, something as disgusting as her father having sex, or something as small as him not being home.

Either way, she made her way upstairs and headed towards his room. The door was shut and the light was on. Hesitantly, Santana pressed her ear against the door and listened in.

"I know. I want to tell her. I hate sneaking around but… I'm afraid of what it'll do to her. She really struggled when her mom left," she could hear her fathers voice crystal clear.

Santana listened extra hard, trying to hear who he was talking to, but she heard nothing.

"I want you to meet her too, babe," Santana's eyes widened at that. She had enough. Slightly agitated, she knocked on the door.

"Uh.. I gotta go."

The door opened within 20 seconds and her dad looked slightly surprised and embarrassed. He was dressed, thank god, and he appeared to be alone. Santana furrowed her eyebrows and peeked her head inside, looking both ways, trying to find the woman he was on the phone with.

Santana licked her lips and discovered that maybe she was hearing things. Maybe not. "Papa, were you talking to someone?"

The man nodded slowly.

"Who?"

Richard sighed heavily and then gave his daughter a soft smile. "Santana, I have to tell you something," he grabbed her hands and urged her inside of his room. Together, they sat down on the bed. He looked nervous and Santana got worried. "I want you to be open minded about this, alright?"

"Papa, what is it?"

"I'm seeing someone."

In that moment, Santana could hardly breathe, she could hardly see, and she felt like she was going to vomit. She saw this coming, so she wasn't exactly surprised. However, it's one thing to imagine it, and it's another for it to become a reality. Her father was in a relationship. Her father was dating someone and her father had moved on from her mother. Santana nodded slowly and lowered her eyes onto the bed. She didn't want to make her dad feel bad for being happy, so she didn't lash out. She tried remaining as calm as possible. "Okay."

He furrowed his eyebrows, not exactly satisfied with that answer. "Okay?"

Santana chuckled. "Okay," she repeated, nodding slowly. "I'm not going to make you feel guilty for being happy. I know more than anyone how much you deserve happiness. And… if this girl makes you happy then I guess I'm happy, too."

Santana was practically cut off from her speech as her father tightly wrapped his arms around her. She smiled against him and weakly wrapped her arms around him as well. Okay, so she may have exaggerated, slightly. She wasn't happy with this new development, but she wanted to be. She wanted to be okay with this. Santana was going to do everything possible to be okay with this. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I wasn't too sure how I felt about her," he explained.

Santana nodded. "And now?"

Richard blushed, and Santana couldn't help but find it hilarious. He hid his head and shyly muttered, "I love her."

Santana's eyes widened in shock, because wow, she was not expecting that. "Love? How long has this been going on for, Papa?" Surely her father wouldn't fall in love with someone he's been dating for a week.

He looked up, as if he was trying to tally up the dates. "Almost 4 months."

The Latina sat there. Completely frozen. Her father has been seeing another woman for 4 months. This wasn't some harmless dating, this was the real deal. He loved her. Santana knew more than anyone how attached her father got when he fell in love. He proposed to Santana's mom the second he was able to afford a ring. What's stopping him now? "4 months?" Santana spat.

"I know, I'm sorry. Honey, I should have told you sooner, but… Like I said, I wasn't sure."

Santana leaned her head down and grabbed her forehead, rubbing it. She was slightly overwhelmed. Santana decided not to respond. Maybe it would be best if they just ended the conversation there. She wasn't exactly ready for anymore information.

"I'd like for you to meet her. Tomorrow," his voice left no room for arguments, yet Santana could hear how sensitive this subject was for him.

"Papa.."

"Please," he begged. Richard Lopez never begged.

Santana sighed heavily. She didn't want to say no to her father, especially not when she hasn't really seen him these past few weeks. Santana is absolutely terrifying of losing her father for good, and if he has a new woman in his life, Santana wants to make sure that this new girl wasn't going to break his heart and leave him when things got hard. Licking her lips, she looked up, met his eyes, and said, "fine."

Richard broke out in a shit eating grin as he chuckled and clapped his hands. "Oh darling, thank you! You're going to love her. Just like I do." He pulled Santana in for another hug and whispered in her ear, "you'll always be my number 1."

That made Santana smile. "I know, Papa. I love you, and I'm happy you're happy." Santana hugged him, and then she rose from the bed. She walked towards the door, ready to have a moment or two to herself. She needed to really think about all of this. Sometime tomorrow, she was going to meet her dads girlfriend and the thought terrified her. Santana wasn't exactly good at making friends. She wasn't exactly good at making first impressions, either. Santana grabbed the door handle and was ready to leave until her father interrupted her.

"Oh and Santana?"

The girl turned around with a raised eyebrow, humming in response.

"She's… A little bit younger than I am," he said, looking slightly shameful.

"How old is she exactly, Papa?" Santana asked, getting fed up with her dads secrets. They never kept secrets from each other, yet suddenly he had this whole other life he kept from her.

"She just turned 30."

Santana bit back a gag at the thought of a 30 year old woman having sex with her 41 year old father. The whole thing seemed so off and so wrong, but Santana refused to let it change anything. Her dad was finally doing something with his life. He was going out on dates, he was smiling more, and he was probably having sex. She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "I'm happy you're happy," Santana repeated, only this time, it didn't sound as honest and truthful as it did before. Now it sounded like she was disappointed in her father. And in a way, she was. But she would never tell him that.

Santana walked through his bed room door and walked back to her own room. Sitting down on her bed she sighed heavily and thought about the conversation she just had with her dad. Tomorrow she was going to meet her 30 year old possible step mom. Judging by the love sick expression on her dads face, the woman wasn't going anywhere.

Tomorrow is definitely going to be interesting.

* * *

**I didn't get crazy feedback for my first chapter, however, the few of you that did review made me very happy, so thank you to all of you. **

**In the warnings, I mentioned incest. This isn't ****_technically _****incest, since they aren't blood related, but it may trigger some people and make others very uncomfortable. **

**Keep reading and keep reviewing!**


	3. Quinn Fabray

**CHAPTER 3**

**Thank you to all the support, all the questions, and all the predictions. **

**Finally! We meet Quinn Fabray.**

**This was definitely the hardest chapter for me to write so far, because I wanted to convey Quinn's charter perfectly, and I also didn't want to rush anything. I'm still not completely satisfied with it. I had it all planned in my head, and I'm frustrated that I couldn't put it into words properly. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Warning: A form of incest, age difference, foul language. **

* * *

Saturday.

By it's definition, Saturday is the day of the week before Sunday and following Friday, and forming part of the weekend.

By Santana's definition, it's the day she usually spends with friends, and the night she usually spends getting drunk and hooking up.

However, this Saturday is different. In fact, this Saturday is much different. Santana never wanted this. She wanted her father to be happy, but not at the cost of her own happiness. The Latina wasn't comfortable with meeting a new, younger woman who is sleeping with her father. Happy, nice, tall, short, pretty, or ugly, this woman was not going to replace her mother. This woman would never be her mother, no matter how hard she tried.

Santana has seen the movies. The dreaded step mother always claims that she isn't trying to replace the girls mother, but she always finds a way to sneak her unwanted opinion into everything. Santana doesn't want that. She isn't interested in a third opinion. She isn't interested in a third body, and she sure as hell isn't interested in getting to know her.

They were going out to dinner tonight. A restaurant, thank god. It was public, and Santana wasn't exactly ready for the three of them to have dinner alone. At the house. That seemed like a big step.

It was 4 o'clock, and the reservations were for 6. Santana was absolutely terrified. Her entire closet had exploded as she tried to find the perfect outfit, and she still isn't exactly satisfied with what she chose. However, she isn't looking to impress the woman. If anything, the woman needs to impress her. So after hours of trying to come up with an outfit, Santana gave up. Now she's on her bed with her best friend on the other line.

"What aren't you telling me?" Brittany asked, her voice calm yet suspicious.

Santana chuckled on the other line. "I'm that obvious, huh?"

Brittany giggled as well. "San, you never call me _just_ to talk. You either want something from me, or you want to vent to me. I'm going to go with the latter because we both know there isn't much I can offer you that you actually need."

The Latina bowed her head and groaned to herself. "He's seeing someone," she blurted, needing to get it out.

"Who? Puck? I thought you two were in like… a weird, open, sexual relationship thingy. Why would it matter if he was seeing someone else?"

In that moment, Santana pretended like her problems were Puck centred. It would be so much easier if the mohawked boy was seeing someone. It would be so much easier to deal with being horny 24/7 than to deal with having a possible candidate for step mom of the year. "No, Britt. Not Puck. My dad."

Silence.

Silence.

For a second, Santana wondered if the call got disconnected or if Brittany fell asleep. The latter definitely seemed like a possibility because it's happened before.

"And that's a bad thing because…?"

Santana couldn't believe the response. Brittany was supposed to be her best friend! If anyone should understand how hard this is for her, it should be the blonde. She knows how hurt Santana was by the divorce, and she's the only person Santana can talk about it with. And now she's acting like her dad moving on isn't a big deal. "Because he moved on from my mom! It's only been 4 years, Britt. Oh, and did I mention that they've been dating for months? He told me loves her!"

Brittany sighed and Santana found herself echoing the sound. "Oh, San…" she whispered soothingly. "I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you. But if you're dad is happy, you need to be happy for him. He was a mess after the divorce. I remember you telling me that he didn't get out of bed for weeks. He's finally back on his feet, and if he found someone that makes his world light up, I think it's great."

Santana smiled, "when did you get so smart?"

"Artie's been helping me! I asked him to help tutor me in every subject. Little does he know I plan on seducing him with my awesome smelling arm-pits and hot moves."

Santana couldn't help but giggle. "That's great, Britt. I'm happy for you. I know I should be happy for my dad, too, and deep down, I truly am. It's just… it's too soon."

"It's been 4 years, San. I know that in your mind it's been _only_ 4 years. But for him, its been _4 _years. That's a long time for some people. Maybe he's finally ready to forget about her."

"Did I mention that she's only 30?"

Again, silence filled the line. Eventually, Brittany broke out into sympathetic, yet highly amused giggles. "Okay, you win on that round. That sucks, Santana. I'm sorry. When are you meeting her?"

"Tonight. Reservations are for 6."

Santana assumed Brittany was nodding because the blonde didn't respond for a few seconds. "That gives you 2 hours to give yourself the best pep talk of your life. In the mean time, I'm going to give you the second best pep talk of your life," Santana giggled at that. "You're Santana Lopez. Hot, sexy, confident Santana Lopez. Don't let this woman intimidate you, okay? And don't you dare let her believe that she's replacing your mom. You only have one mother and despite her last few months, she was a damn good one. Tonight, you are going to dress very nicely, you are going to go to dinner, you're going to wear that fake smirk of yours, and you're going to play nice, okay? Your dad needs this. Even if this fling doesn't work out in the end, at least he knows that he did everything he could to make it last. He needs you on his side. Remember, you'll always be his number one girl. Make conversation, be sweet, laugh at her dumb jokes, and then when you get home, call me, and tell me all of the stupid and annoying things she said."

Santana threw her head back and broke into a loud laugh. "You're my best friend Brittany Pierce, you know that?"

"And you're mine, Santana Lopez. Now go get dressed and look hot."

With that, Santana hung up and stood up. She needed to get ready. And she needed to look good.

* * *

By 5:50, Santana and Richard were sitting at their table, waiting for the third member to arrive. Santana was surprisingly nervous. She never thought that she would actually care how this meeting went, yet she found that her palms were sweating. A lot. In about 10 minutes, she was going to meet the woman that her father was in love with. It was a big deal no matter how much Santana pretended not to care about it.

She decided to wear a black, high waisted skirt, and a bright pink, long sleeve shirt. The skirt was tight and fitting around the waist, and flowed outward. It ended just above mid thigh. On her feet were black, stroppy flats. She curled her hair and put on slightly darker make up than usual. She wanted to look nice and show her dad that she was putting an effort into this meeting. Truth be told, Santana wanted to look nice, and she wanted the woman to think that she was pretty. So sure, maybe she put some effort into her appearance, but that didn't mean she was supportive of this relationship.

Santana clicked her phone and checked the time.

5:54.

"Papa, she's probably not coming," Santana reasoned and stood up, flattening out her skirt.

The man laughed as if his daughter had told a funny joke, "she's coming. Sit down, she told me she was on her way. She also told me she was very excited to meet you."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows at that and made a distasteful facial expression. She wasn't excited to meet her.

She watched the time tick by and promised herself that by 6:01, if the girl wasn't there yet, she was leaving. Santana was starving and she wasn't in the mood to wait around for this bitch to take her sweet ass time.

"I'm really hu-" She got interrupted by her dad standing up and smiling.

"She's here."

With those two words, Santana felt like she was going to pass out. The room was spinning, her hands were completely drenched in sweat, and she could barely feel her legs. This was it. No backing down. Hesitantly, Santana turned her head to follow her fathers line of vision, and Santana's eyes settled on a beautiful blonde. She definitely looked younger than Richard. Much younger. But the grin she was sporting proved that maybe she really liked Richard, too. Santana furrowed her eyebrows because she could have sworn she's seen the girl before. She looked… oddly familiar.

Santana's dad met the blonde half way and pulled her into a warm hug. He whispered something in her ear, but Santana couldn't hear it. She stayed seated and waited for the blonde to approach her. Santana wasn't exactly in a rush to meet her. She needed about 5 seconds to repeat Brittany's comforting words in her head.

_You'll always be his number one. _

_Don't you dare let her believe that she's replacing your mom. _

_Your dad needs this. _

"Santana? There's someone I'd like you to meet," her dad and his new girlfriend were standing over her, and they both had annoying grins on their faces. Santana wanted to run out of the restaurant and never look back. She was not ready for this.

She looked up at them and finally got a good glance at the blonde. Hazel eyes, defined cheekbones, shoulder length hair, and a smirk on her lips. Santana eyed the smirk and she couldn't help but feel like she's seen it before. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked back into hazel eyes.

"Hi, Santana. I'm Quinn. It's great to finally meet you. You're dad talks about you all the time," her voice was melodic. So soothing, yet she had a certain rasp to it that added edge. Santana envied her voice. It was perfect for feigning innocence, but also great for dirty talk.

Santana licked her lips and looked the 30 year old up and down. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a blue shirt with a belt wrapped around her waist. Her hair was straightened and she was wearing pink lipstick.

She was beautiful.

She was _so _familiar.

Santana looked back up at her and Quinn was still smirking, as if she knew something Santana didn't. It was as if Santana had something on her face and Quinn was too sweet to tell her. Eventually, Santana got annoyed and found her voice. "Funny. My dad's never mentioned you before yesterday," Santana bit back, her voice angry.

Richards eyes widened in shock at his daughters response, and Santana felt slightly nauseous. God, why did she have to say that? Why couldn't she just bite her tongue and lie? Why couldn't she tell Quinn that it was great to meet her, too. That way her father wouldn't look at her with a face of disappointment. Santana hated disappointing her father.

Quinn, however, simply chuckled. "I guess I deserve that."

And that was that.

Quinn didn't seem offended or angry by Santana's outburst. She simply found it amusing. Quietly, Quinn and Richard sat across from Santana at the dinner table. Once their asses hit the seats, silence rushed over the table.

It was awkward.

The waitress was no where in sight, so the three of them were forced to sit in silence and pretend like this was how they wanted to spend their Saturday night. Santana would much rather be at Puckerman's party, and she was sure that Richard and Quinn would rather be alone. However, this was their reality and they had no choice but to make the best of it.

"Allow me to break the ice," Quinn started, smiling softly. She was sitting across from Santana, so she leaned in to give the Latina her full attention. "I'm not trying to replace your mother. From what I've heard, she was a great woman, and those are some pretty big shoes to fit. However, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I don't like your father. I like him a lot. He makes me very happy," Quinn smiled as she reached over and grabbed Richards hands, lacing their fingers together on top of the table in plain sight. Santana eyed their hands and rolled her eyes. "But, I would like to get to know you, as well. Not just as my boyfriends daughter, but as Santana Lopez; the girl. From the stories I've heard, you seem very…" Quinn subtly looked from Santana's eyes to her chest, then back to her eyes, "delightful," she practically purred the last word.

Santana, however, didn't notice Quinn's gaze, and calmly listened to the girls speech. When it was over, Santana leaned back in her chair, crossed her arms, and scoffed. "Alright, whatever."

"Santana.." Richard said in a warning voice.

Quinn placed her hand on Richard's bicep and shook her head, "it's okay Richard. She's a teenage girl, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for her."

Santana couldn't believe that Quinn was actually standing up for her. She looked up at hazel eyes and Quinn playfully winked. Santana felt that nauseous feeling again.

Thankfully, the waitress came over and took everyones order. Santana ordered the garden salad, and Quinn and Richard are sharing the spaghetti. When the woman left, the three of them were left alone once again. And for the second time that night, Quinn broke the silence.

"You know, Rich, you never told me how beautiful Santana was."

Richard chuckled at that. "Yes I did, sweetie. I told you that she was a spitting image of her mother."

Santana smiled to herself as she looked down. Even though she hated her mother for leaving, Santana loved the fact that she looked like her mother. Because in a way, it was like Maria was still with them. Santana still had a part of her to hold onto. It was nice.

"I guess I underestimated your ex-wife's beauty, then," Quinn charmingly said. It was obvious to Santana that Quinn was doing everything possible to get on Santana's good side, but it wasn't working. If anything, Santana was growing more and more annoyed with the girls persistence and fake compliments. She didn't want Quinn to try so hard.

Santana didn't know if she was supposed to thank Quinn for the compliment, ignore it, or pretend like she didn't hear it at all. She decided to ignore it. Santana crossed her legs and looked at her father. She was curious to see how the man was handling this. He must be stressed beyond belief. His two favourite girls are meeting for the first time, and it isn't exactly going well. Quinn has been very sweet and very polite, but Santana can't seem to meet her half-way.

Richard gave her a look that translated to 'please try' and Santana sighed in defeat. She refused to hurt her father. "Santana, why don't you tell Quinn about yourself?"

Santana shifted uncomfortably in her seat and stole a quick glance at the waiting blonde. "There isn't much to say."

"I hardly believe that's the truth. You seem like a very interesting girl. Humour me," Quinn suggested with a playful tone. Quinn was very difficult to read and it was bothering Santana.

Was she being nice?

Or was she making fun of her?

"Okay," Santana agreed, then sighed heavily. She had to think before answering, because really, who _was _Santana Lopez? Was she the girl that casually fucked the biggest man whore in her school? Was she the girl that still called her mother every night and prayed that she would pick up? Or was she the girl that beneath the hard exterior, she was secretly broken and lonely? "I'm Santana Lopez. I'm 16 years old. I'm the head cheerleader at my high school, and I love to dance but I'm not as good as my best friend." Santana decided to give the most generic summary of herself, because anything was better than the truth. She didn't want to tell Quinn the truth. If she did, then that gave Quinn the upper hand, and maybe she would use it against her.

Quinn nodded, seemingly satisfied with the information she was provided. "Head cheerleader, huh?" Quinn smirked and nodded. "Makes sense." Santana furrowed her eyebrows, not sure what Quinn meant by that, but she didn't question it. "What about boys? Do you have your eye on someone?"

Santana's eyes widened. She couldn't believe that Quinn had the nerve to ask Santana that in front of her dad. They've known each other for all of 5 minutes and she's already asking tough and personal questions.

"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing, Santana. That Puck boy is over a lot. Is there something going on between the two of you?" Richard joined in, curious.

Santana banged her head against the table and groaned. Quinn giggled and said, "Puck? You're dating someone who's name is what you play hockey with?"

"I'm not dating Puck! I'm not dating anyone, okay? There isn't anyone I have my eye on."

Quinn seemed to smirk at that, and she nodded. Santana, thrilled that the conversation was finally over, took a sip of her water.

Richard seemed to think that that was interesting, since he said, "you know San, last year, I thought there was something going on between you and Brittany."

Santana couldn't hold it back anymore, her eyes widened and she spat out the water in her mouth. Some of it splashed onto Quinn, but most of it just landed on the table. "What?!" She demanded.

"It's just.. you two are so close, and she's always sleeping over. A father can never be too sure."

Santana shook her head, completely embarrassed. "Papa, I'm not gay. I'm 1000% straight, alright? Brittany is… just a friend." Santana looked up at Quinn and although the blonde was paying attention to the conversation, she was wiping the water off of herself. "I'm so sorry!" Santana said genuinely, blushing at the fact that she practically spit all over the girl.

Quinn giggled and shook her head. "It's alright, sweetie. As long as you're not a lesbian. I mean that would be totally…." Quinn's eyes shot up and connected with brown orbs. Her lips twitched upward into a devious smirk as she husked, "wrong."

Santana nodded dumbly, unaware of what she meant by that, and she just looked away. Quinn had the tendency to make her feel uncomfortable and Santana didn't like it at all. She hated feeling powerless.

"But, San, didn't you tell me that Brittany is gay?" Richard asked, clearly not giving up until he was given some answers.

Santana groaned. "No, Papa, I told you that Brittany is bisexual. There's a difference."

"So wait, you're best friend is attracted to girls and you two have never even hooked up? Is that girl blind or something?" Quinn asked, and Santana was losing her patience.

The Latina looked over at Quinn and furrowed her eyebrows. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Quinn lifted her hands up defensively and simply shrugged. "It's not supposed to mean anything. I'm just saying.. you're beautiful and if she isn't the least bit attracted to you then there's got to be something wrong with her."

Santana was seconds away from standing up and storming out. However, the waitress quickly came with their food and Santana took the 10 seconds to calm down. She had to admit, her garden salad looked amazing. Santana didn't understand why everyone questioned her relationship with Brittany. A few years back, Santana asked the blonde if she was attracted to her, and Brittany laughed in her face. The blonde's response was 'No offence Santana, you're gorgeous and all, but I see you as my sister. I don't think I'll ever be attracted to you.' It was such a relief to hear Brittany say that because if Brittany started feeling something for her, it would ruin their friendship. Thankfully, they both knew that it was never going to happen.

Once the waitress left them alone, Santana calmly stated, "you don't know anything about my life or my friends, got it? Please stop acting like you know anything about me. Brittany and I are just friends. She see's me as a sister." Even though Santana didn't raise her voice, there was a certain edge in her tone that warned Quinn to drop the topic or else. Santana wouldn't sit around and listen to anyone insult or assume anything about Brittany. Brittany was perfect the way she was.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I completely overstepped my boundaries. How about I tell you something about myself. That way we're even!" Quinn suggested, and Santana wanted to throw up by her fake, enthusiastic voice.

Richard nodded, seeming to love the idea. "I like that. This girl is so mysterious, she barely tells me anything," he teased playfully, bumping their shoulders together.

Santana wasn't sure what to think about. Quinn was clearly keeping things from her father and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It's almost always a bad thing, but it wasn't her place to get in the middle of them.

Quinn looked over at the man and playfully smiled at him. "I tell you enough." Quinn looked back to Santana. "Anyway, I am Quinn Fabray. My real name is Lucy, but after going through an identity crisis and struggling to find myself, I decided to change my name to Quinn. Quinn was originally my middle name, but I always liked it better." Richard's eyebrows shot up at that. Clearly he had no idea that Lucy was her real name. "I only like when people call me Lucy in bed," she winked and bit on her lip, "I am a photographer. I mostly shoot landscapes, but I've recently started photographing people. I am 30 years old, I'm obsessed with bacon, and I've never really had a family. The family I had when I was your age was a disaster. My dad never loved me and my mom was too drunk to notice. So, you may think your family is pretty dysfunctional, but I think it's pretty great. And I would love to be a part of it one day."

Santana couldn't help but be touched by Quinn's story. Even though the Latina struggled with her parents' divorce and she stopped believing in love, she had a great childhood. Santana's parents loved her and raised her to the fullest. They gave her everything she needed. By 12, things started changing, but she got 12 years with two sensational parents. Most people don't even get half of that. It's clear that Quinn had a bad childhood and Santana sympathized for her. It must have sucked to have two parents who didn't give a damn about her. "I'm sorry to hear about that," Santana stated honestly, giving Quinn a soft smile.

"It's not your fault, sweetie."

Santana bit on her lip and nodded, deciding to leave it there. After a silent agreement, they all started eating their food. Santana grunted in appreciation at how good her salad was, and Quinn and Richard both seemed to enjoy their spaghetti. Without the talking, it was kind of nice to just sit there and eat together. After Quinn opened up to them, Santana could see that the blonde was a real person and she had a big heart. She just wanted to be a part of a family. She wanted to be a part of this family.

Santana wasn't exactly going to make a 'TEAM QUINN' T shirt and wear it around the house anytime soon, but the blonde was definitely growing on her.

* * *

The rest of dinner went by smoothly, if Santana could say so herself. There were some moments when she caught Quinn and Richard whispering or smiling at each other, and she felt uncomfortable. But when she reminded herself to relax and just enjoy, it was actually pretty nice. Quinn was very polite and very sweet, and truth be told, she made Richard very happy. Santana hasn't seen her father smile that many times in one night in a very long time.

The waitress comes back to the table and says, "can I get any of you some dessert or coffee?"

Quinn's eyes widened and she hums in approval. "Coffee for me, please." Richard chuckles beside the blonde, so she turns to look at him. "Coffee is my obsession, Rich. I can't go a full day without having one."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and suddenly, it all clicked.

**_"On the bright side, that hot blonde has been eyeing you since they walked through the door."_**

**_Hazel eyes hungrily roamed over her body._**

**_The blonde was much older than Santana, at least 26._**

Suddenly, she remembered exactly where she remembered Quinn from. Without thinking, Santana stood up abruptly and cleared her throat. "Excuse me. I need to use the ladies room." With that, she rushed off to the washroom.

Once she was alone, Santana grabbed ahold of the white sink, and looked at herself in the mirror. Thankfully, she was the only one in the washroom, so no one would disturb her thought process.

Quinn was the same girl that was eyeing her in the coffee shop.

Quinn was smirking at her hungrily.

According to Brittany, Quinn _wanted_ her.

If that was true, then this would definitely be an awkward conversation to have with her dad. But she had to tell him. She was doing it for his own good. He needed to know that the woman he was seeing liked to go to coffee shops and fantasize about younger girls. This was not right!

Just as Santana was turning to leave, the bathroom door swung open and Quinn stepped inside.

She shut the door behind her and leaned against it with her arms crossed. Santana could have sworn she saw the same, signature, cocky smirk of hers. Santana wanted to slap it off of her.

"I've seen you before, haven't I?" Santana asked, eyeing her. "At the coffee shop." By the time Santana finished talking, she was more and more sure that Quinn was the stranger who was eyeing at the Lima Bean.

The blonde bit on her lip and chuckled softly. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to remember," she said honestly and it made Santana furrow her eyebrows in confusion. "You have a good memory, my dear. I need to watch out for that."

For some reason, Quinn was treating this as a joke. "This isn't funny!" Santana hissed, groaning as she began pacing the bathroom. "That was like… a week ago! You've been dating my father for months, so why the hell were you eyeing someone else when you're in a committed relationship?" Santana was beyond angry. This woman who claimed to love Richard was spending her days in coffee chops hungrily undressing underage girls with her eyes. She was mentally cheating on her father and Santana would do everything she could to protect her father from her. She wouldn't let Quinn break his heart.

Quinn threw her head back and laughed. "I think you got the wrong idea of me, Santana."

Santana simply remained silent and waited for her to explain.

"Yes, I was staring at you at the Lima Bean, but not for the reasons you think. For some reason, you seem to think that I was watching you because I'm interested in you. Yes, I'm bisexual, but underage girls aren't exactly my type."

Santana was completely thrown off by Quinn's admittance of being bisexual. "Didn't you just say that being a lesbian was wrong?" Santana asked, referring to Quinn's confusing statement earlier.

The blonde nodded as she laughed, "I was kidding, Santana. I'm not a homophobe, trust me. Judging by the things I've done, it would make me a hypocrite." Santana blushed at that as an image of Quinn with another woman filled her mind.

"So then why were you staring at me?" She asked.

Quinn took a step towards her as she smiled. "I'm a mature woman who can appreciate true beauty. And you, sweetie, are the most gorgeous girl I have seen in a very long time. Excuse me for wanting to stare at you for a little too long," Quinn winked and smirked.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Wink and smirk at me like we're sharing an inside joke. I'm not your friend, and I don't want to be. I thought that maybe you were cool after you told me about your family, but I was wrong. You're not my mom," Santana hissed, wanting the blonde to know exactly how she felt about her.

Quinn smiled at that, "honey, I'm not trying to be your mom."

"Good! Because you're 14 years older than me. I think it would be a little inappropriate if you tried to play a mother role in my life," Santana told her honestly.

Quinn nodded. "I agree. However, I would be totally cool if you wanted to call me Mommy. I mean, even for me, it's a little kinky, but I think I'd make an exception." Once again, the blonde winked.

Santana's eyes widened because she genuinely couldn't believe the nerve this girl had. "You're disgusting," Santana simply said, shaking her head.

Seemingly accepting that, Quinn shrugged. "Yeah, well, I'm not going anywhere. Your father loves me, and even if he didn't, he would never leave me. You see, I do this thing with my tongue that drives him absolutely insane."

"Oh my god, shut up!" Santana screamed, putting her hands over her ears, trying to erase the image as well as the words.

Quinn's laughter filled the bathroom. "You're adorable. Come on, if we wait any longer, you're father is going to think something happened." Quinn grabbed Santana's wrist and pulled her out of the bathroom.

Santana tugged her hand out of Quinn's hold, yet followed her back to the table.

When they arrived, Quinn's coffee was steaming and waiting for her. The blonde hummed happily, and took a greedy sip. Meanwhile, her eyes stayed locked on Santana's. Santana felt extremely uncomfortable at the eye contact and looked down at her lap.

Santana knew three things:

1. Her dad was in love with a psychotic woman.

2. Quinn made her feel uncomfortable and powerless whenever those hazel eyes were on her.

3. Quinn wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

* * *

**Let me know what you think! **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and for those of you that don't like Quinn's character, I promise you, she has a heart of gold. **


	4. Sunday

**CHAPTER 3**

**Thank you for those of you that left positive feedback :)**

**For those of you that didn't, sorry but I don't care. **

**It has come to my attention that this story may make some of my readers uncomfortable. I have left a warning for every chapter as well as a warning in the summary. If you would like to see the story go in a different direction, I completely respect your opinion and your suggestions, however I plan on writing this story my way. **

**My way includes a sexually confused Santana, a bisexual Quinn and a form of incest. **

**It's my story and I don't plan on changing my original ideas because a few people aren't happy with it. **

**I'm sorry if you expected more from me, but this is what I have to offer. **

**I don't like being rude, but I firmly believe in "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything."**

**Anyway! Let's continue, shall we?**

**Warning: A form of incest, age difference, foul language. **

* * *

Santana was sitting in the back seat of her dads car. The car was parked and she was staring out the window, surrounded by the dark sky and an unfamiliar landscape. They were parked outside of Quinn's house, and they were saying their goodbyes.

Finally.

Santana fooled herself into believing that Quinn was a good enough woman for her father, until they had their private conversation in the girls bathroom. The second they were alone the flirty blonde showed her true colours, and Santana wasn't impressed by what she saw. And now, she's convinced that if Richard stays with her for a moment longer, he's going to end up broke beyond belief.

She won't let her father go down that alley again. He got so dark last time. She could barely recognize him.

Quinn was sitting in the passenger seat and she was beginning to say her good-bye's. Santana listened carefully as the blonde whispered something sickeningly sweet to her dad. "Thanks for a wonderful night, sweetie. You're daughter is a great girl." Quinn leaned in even closer, and added something else. Santana could barely hear anything, however she did make out the word 'sexy', and after hearing that, she was glad that she didn't hear anything else.

Quinn then turned in her seat and smiled at Santana. "As for you, it was very nice meeting you, Santana. You're a wonderful girl and I hope I get to see a lot more of you soon." She finished it off with a wink and it made Santana second guess every word she said prior. Why did she have to ruin the sweet moment with a wink?

Santana licked her lips and nodded slowly, "nice meeting you, too." She waved, looking away as if she didn't care. In reality, it was nice meeting Quinn. It was nice to finally put a face to the stories and to finally have someone to blame for her dads mysterious ways. Quinn was at fault. She was the woman who had so drastically captured her dads attention and made him completely forget about the anniversary of his divorce. She helped him learn how to live again. In a way, Santana was grateful for the bubbly blonde, but another part of her couldn't stand her cocky attitude and that annoying smirk. That smirk would most definitely haunt her dreams, and Santana had no doubt that Quinn got her way because of that smirk.

It had the power to manipulate and persuade the most resistant people.

Although Quinn didn't impress Santana with her charm and over confident attitude, the Latina was still glad that the awkward first meeting was behind them. It could only go up from here, right?

Wrong.

Santana wasn't exactly the most optimistic person, so she had no doubt in her mind that her relationship with Quinn would never improve. In the back of her mind, Quinn would always be the woman that eyed her hungrily in the coffee shop while she was dating her father. If that was not a red flag, Santana didn't know what was.

Her thoughts were shaken by the car door slamming and finally, she was gone. However, Quinn left behind her scent of vanilla and strawberries. Even Santana had to admit that it was a very nice smell.

Richard turned around in his seat and smiled eagerly at Santana. Poor thing, he looked like a boy on christmas, and he had no idea that Santana hated Quinn's guts. "So? Be honest. What do you think?"

Santana inhaled sharply and lowered her gaze down at her lap. She had two options here and neither of them had a good outcome. She could either tell her father the truth and break his heart, or she could lie, pretend that she loved the blonde, and watch Richard and Quinn ride off into the sunset. Neither option sounded appealing.

"She's…" Santana started, "she's great." Santana exhaled and shut her eyes, hating herself for being such a daddy's girl. If Santana and Richard weren't close, she would easily and happily tell him that Quinn is a cocky bitch that likes to make Santana feel uncomfortable with her stupid fucking smirk. But no, she loved her dad very much, and she would die if she watched his bright smile falter.

Instead, his smile only grew wider. "Really?" Richard put the car in reverse and drove out of Quinn's driveway. While keeping up conversation, he began driving home.

"Yeah, Papa. She's the whole package. She's smart, she's funny and she's beautiful." Okay, now Santana was pushing it slightly. She already had her dad convinced, yet for some reason, her lips wouldn't shut up. "I don't know her all that well, but I can tell that she really makes you happy. I like her a lot." Santana's eyes widened. She did _not_ mean to say all that. She knew how attached her dad got to the people he cared about. Richard loved fully and completely. He didn't believe in having a guard up and being resistant. Richard Lopez was eager to love and to be loved. If he found someone that he truly believed he connected with, he would do everything in his power to make sure it worked out. Now that Santana practically gave her blessing, he would probably start thinking about proposing, and that could _not_ happen. Not on her watch.

"Oh, Hija, you have no idea what that means to me," his words were so soft spoken and so meaningful. Santana wanted to cry from her guilt.

"You really love her, don't you?"

His nod was all the answer she needed. "She is amazing, Santana. I can't wait for you to really get to know her. Tonight, she was pretty nervous, so she was holding back a lot. But when we're alone… she says the sweetest things."

Santana scoffed under her breath. That didn't exactly sound like the girl she met a few hours ago. The sweetest things? More like the crudest things. "Well good; I'm glad. You deserve the absolute best, Papa. I know that she's the first girl you've allowed yourself to get serious with since Mama, but please don't let yourself be blindsided by her, alright? There are so many women out there who would be lucky to be with you." Santana wanted to make sure that her father was aware of his options. He was a very good looking man, and if he allowed himself to really explore his other options, he could probably find a nice woman who wants all the same things he wants. Santana isn't sure that Quinn is that girl. Judging from the version of Quinn that she met, the blonde only cares about sex.

"She's the one, Santana. I don't want anybody else."

Santana looked down and shut her eyes. She was already too late. Richard has already fallen hard for this girl, and not even his daughter could snap him out of it. "I just don't want you to get hurt," she told him honestly.

He stared at her through the rearview mirror and he looks confused. "Why would I get hurt?

"Well.. she's 11 years younger than you, Papa. What if she wants different things? What if she isn't looking to settle down?"

Richard laughed it off as if it was impossible as he made a right turn. "Quinn and I have already discussed these things, darling. She wants all the same things as me. Trust me, kiddo, I know what I'm doing. But I love you for caring so much."

Santana offered him a weak smile as she nodded in the back seat. "I love you, too."

And she did. Santana loved her dad more than she's ever loved anyone else. For someone who didn't believe in true love, Santana has pushed aside all of her beliefs for the man that raised her. He was her exception. Richard could make her laugh on her saddest days, smile on the hard days, and distract her when she needed it the most. He understood her like nobody else. Brittany was right up there with him, but Richard took the cake. He knew all of Santana's quirks, what to avoid talking about, and what scents made her the most happy. He knew everything and because of that, he never did or said anything wrong. Truth be told, Richard was Santana's best friend. When her mother left, Santana was in a pretty dark place for a long time. She barely knew which side was up. She tried running away from her problems, but a stranger pointed her in the right direction. Afterwards, her father never let Santana out of his sight, and he brought her back to life. He saved her and he continued to save her every day. Santana loved him with all of her heart, and it was killing her that he was obliviously falling for someone that had the power to break his heart into tiny pieces. Quinn had the upper hand and could hurt him with the snap of her fingers. And it terrified Santana. She refused to see her father heartbroken again.

The rest of the drive home was silent, but Santana could practically hear Richards smile. She knew that today was an important day for him. His two favourite girls met, and that's a pretty big deal. As far as he knows, it went smoothly. He had every reason to be happy.

Eventually, they were back at their own house. Santana tiredly hugged him goodnight, and then walked up to her own room. She had a phone call to make.

Once she was alone in the comfort of her own room, Santana shut her door and sat down on her bed. She took a deep breath in, and then took a deep breath out. Tonight was almost as crazy as she expected it to be. Quinn was manipulative. Sneaky, manipulative and so insanely condescending. She acted like she knew everything, like she was better than everyone, and like she planned on stealing Richard away from Santana. It was an unsettling feeling and it bothered Santana beyond belief. She wouldn't let this bitch steal the last thing she had left.

Santana grabbed her phone and pressed her number 2 speed dial.

The phone rang twice before the angelic and always positive voice rang through her ear. "Hi, best friend! I want all the dirty details." Santana could practically hear the smirk in Brittany's voice.

"I don't know where to start," Santana admitted with a groan.

"From the beginning, silly."

Santana nodded, agreeing that that was a good starting point. "Well, she was about 5 minutes late." Saying it back, being 5 minutes late doesn't exactly sound like a horrible thing, however it only added to Santana's annoyance of the girl. "When she got there, she was all 'Oh Santana, I've heard so much about you. You're so beautiful' blah blah blah." Santana made her voice higher and more annoying as she imitated Quinn's voice.

Brittany giggled on the other line. "Santana, you love compliments. How is that a bad thing?"

"It gets worse, trust me." Santana took a deep breath in, creating a dramatic pause before she continued. "Then she had the nerve to bring up boys! She asked me if I was seeing anyone, and of course, that spiked my dads interest, and both of them were practically demanding answers from me. So I told them the truth-"

"You told them that you and Puck are special friends between the sheets?" Brittany's innocence was always so charming. Santana couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, so maybe not the whole truth. I told them that Puck and I were just friends and that I didn't have my eye on anyone. But of course, that didn't satisfy them! My dad then practically admitted that last year he thought I was fucking gay! He rambled on about how you and I are so weirdly close and that 'a dad can never be too sure.'" Once again, Santana lowered her voice to imitate her dad.

Brittany gasped slightly on the other line. "Wait wait, your dad thinks you and I are together?"

"Hopefully not anymore! But he said this right in front of Quinn -that's her name by the way. So then Quinn begins to rant about how you _must _have feelings for me and if you don't your blind. It was just so incredibly uncomfortable and I called her out on it."

"What did you say?" Brittany asked, and Santana loved how much the blonde always cared.

"I told her that you and I were just friends, more like sisters, actually, and how she needed to stop pretending like she knew anything about me," Santana said in one breath.

There was a pause on the other end of the line and Brittany chuckled slightly. "Good for you. That girl needs to know that until hell freezes over, there is no chance of you and I being romantically involved."

"That's what I said!" They both laughed together, before Santana continued. "Then she tells me a little bit about herself, and for a few minutes, she actually seemed cool. It seemed like maybe, I overreacted and maybe I was too hard on her. I was actually willing to give her a chance. Shocking, right?"

Brittany giggled. "Incredibly so."

"However that didn't last long at all. You know, the whole dinner, I couldn't help but think that she looked oddly familiar, you know? Like I've seen her before," Santana said slowly. "And then she said something and it all made sense. You will never guess who she is," Santana challenged.

"Ooh, I love this game. Quinn Shephard? Quinn Paul?"

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and chuckled softly. "Uhmm.. I have never heard either of those names before in my life."

"Quinn Shephard is an american actress."

The Latina chuckled softly. "Of course she is, Britt. But no, that's not who she is. She was the girl at the Lima Bean."

Silence.

Brittany's inhale of breath was the first clue that she was going to start talking. "Wait, what girl?"

"Britt, c'mon! _The_ girl. It was the day we skipped class to go there, and you told me that the hot blonde was eyeing me. She was practically undressing me with her eyes."

"Oh my god," Brittany said through a whisper.

Santana nodded with wide eyes. "It was her! She even confirmed it when I spoke with her in private!"

"What did she say when you asked her?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "She told me that she wasn't watching me because she was sexually interested in me, but rather she was appreciating beauty. Appreciating beauty my ass. That girl is full of shit."

Brittany laughed softly and Santana groaned at the sound. "What are the chances? So what did you say to her?"

"I told her flat out that I didn't like her. I don't like the fact that she was looking at me _that_ way when she's in a relationship with my father. I don't like how she talks to me like I'm an idiot, and I _hate _her fucking smirk!"

Brittany and Santana sighed together. "I'm sorry, San. That sounds horrible. I wish there was something I can do to help you."

"Me too, Britt. Thank you. My dad loves her. I haven't seen him this happy since my mom left, you know? I'm scared that he's going to propose and that Quinn's gonna be around for a while."

"You're talking to the girl that broke up Arite and Tina. If you ever need help breaking them up.. I'm your girl."

Santana couldn't believe what Brittany was offering, but more than that, she couldn't believe the fact that she was seriously considering it. The idea of breaking Richard and Quinn up sounded so appealing, however Santana didn't know if she could do that to her dad. He's been through hell and back and if him and Quinn didn't work out, he would be a mess. Plus, if he ever found out that Santana was behind it, it would never forgive her. "That's a great offer, Britt, and I really appreciate it, but I can't do that to him. He's finally happy."

Brittany sighed. "You're a good person, Santana Lopez. However, if you change your mind, I'm here for you."

Santana smiled into the phone as she nodded. "Goodnight, Britt. See you Monday."

"See you monday."

The sound of the line ending was the last thing Santana heard before her eyes fluttered shut and she fell asleep.

* * *

_Santana was wearing a jeans with a pink top and white sneakers. Her hair was in two braids and she was listening to her Mp3._

_Running down the stairs, Santana was singing along to one of her favourite Beatles songs, Let It Be. _

_"Singing words of wisdom, let it be!" She chuckled at herself as she walked into the kitchen to find her dad standing there with a glass of wine. His hands were on the counter and he was looking down, as if debating something. _

_"Papa?" Santana asked, cocking her head to the right as she slowly approached him. Santana eyed the glass of wine with fearful eyes. Her dad was an alcoholic. Why on earth was there a glass of wine in front of him?_

_Santana rushed forward and grabbed the glass carefully. "Is this for Mama? I'll deliver it to her!" She was just trying to help him and do him a favour. If he drank it, he would probably become unhinged and Santana would never see him happy again. Alcohol killed the man inside of him. _

_Santana turned on her heel, ready to deliver the glass of wine to her mother, when a strong hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. Santana shrieked slightly and the wine spilled over the edges and on her pink shirt. "This isn't for Mama. This is for me. Give it back, Tana." _

_She furrowed her eyebrows, confused. This shirt was new. Her mom bought it for her for the new school year, and now it was stained with red wine. "But Papa, you don't drink wine anymore."_

_"Now I do, sweetie. Hand it over, it's okay."_

_"Mama wouldn't want you to have it," she protested. _

_Santana saw anger flash through Richard's eyes. "Well your mother doesn't have a say anymore, okay? Now hand over the fucking glass, Santana!" _

_Santana flinched at his words and her eyes quickly filled with tears. Out of fear, she slowly gave it back to him. She watched him grab the glass and slowly drink the entire portion. Santana gasped and tears spilled over her eyes. Richard grabbed the bottle and poured himself another glass. Soon enough, the red liquid disappeared into his mouth as well. "I'm telling Mama! You're not supposed to be drinking that, Papa! Not after last time! You promised us!" Santana was hurting all over. Why would her dad do this to her? Alcohol ruined him. _

_Santana turned around and started running towards the stairs. She had to find her mom. Santana stopped at the foyer when she saw three suitcases lined up at the front door. Standing beside them was her mother. Maria looked ready to go. She had on her shoes, glasses, and her coat. _

_"Mama?" Santana said, her voice hesitant and nervous as she looked up at the older Latina. _

_Maria offered her a sad smile as she slowly approached the girl. "Sweetie, what happened to your shirt?"_

_Santana looked down at herself and noticed the stain spreading. She looked back up at the woman and a tear slid down her cheek. "Papa is drinking again."_

_The woman nodded in understanding as if it made sense. But she wasn't as angry as Santana was. She didn't even seem upset. In fact, if Santana didn't know better, she could have sworn that Maria didn't care at all. "I'm sorry to hear that, angel. Mama has to go now, okay?" Maria turned around and began walking towards the door. _

_Santana's eyes widened as she shook her head and took a step towards her. "Where are you going?"_

_"Away. Only for a little while, alright? Mama will be back."_

_Santana cried as she shook her head viscously. "No! Mama.. I'm scared of Papa. Why are you leaving me?" Santana's voice was barely recognizable as she screamed and cried. She couldn't let her mother leave. Not until her dad was better again. _

_Maria sighed and leaned over, right in front of Santana's face. "I will be right back, honey. We will deal with Papa together, okay?"_

_She nodded viscously and looked down at the floor. _

_Carefully, Maria placed one finger under Santana's chin and lifted her face up so their eyes were connected. "Everything is going to be okay."_

_"You promise?" The 12 year old whispered. _

_"I promise."_

_Santana nodded and desperately wrapped her arms around her moms waist, burying her face in the woman's stomach. Hesitantly, Maria pushed Santana off, and the 12 year old gave her mother room to grab her things and leave. Santana and Maria looked at each other and Santana waved frantically at her. She stopped crying, however her shirt was now stained in wine and tears. _

_And just like that, Maria left and slammed the door behind her. _

* * *

Sunday wasn't a good day. The nightmare Santana had freaked her out so much that she barely left her room. She wished that she could take credit for the nightmare and blame it on her imagination, but unfortunately, it wasn't a made up story.

What she dreamt actually happened. It was coming back to haunt her through her dreams and the thought made her sick. Santana never wanted to relive that day ever again, yet it looked like she wasn't going to have much of a choice.

She woke up crying and sobbing so loudly that her dad burst into her room and held her until she fell back asleep.

It was only 4 years ago, but so much has changed in those 4 years, yet in the same way, nothing has changed at all. Deep down, Santana is still the young and naive little girl she was when her mother walked out on her. Just like her father, deep down, he's still a struggling alcoholic. Just because he doesn't drink anymore doesn't mean he isn't tempted to. He has temptations every single day and he fights against it. He is so strong. He is Santana's hero.

So yes, it's been a long 4 years, but on days like today, it feels like just yesterday.

That day would forever haunt her.

No 12 year old should have to watch her alcoholic father relapse right in front of her own eyes. No 12 year old should have to watch her mother grab her giant suitcases and walk through the front door for the last time. And no 12 year old should have to deal with her parents' divorce when both of them were cowards. Her father was a coward because he would rather drink his problems away than deal with them head on, and her mother ran away from her problems instead of facing them. They both ran away, and Santana was forced to pick up the pieces.

Santana and her dad ordered pizza for lunch and for the first time in a while, they watched a movie together. It was a lot of fun to feel connected with him again. Santana felt much better about her nightmare when she was surrounded by him. And when Richard grabbed himself a water from the fridge, Santana cried some more and hugged him tightly. "I am so proud of you," she whispered against his neck, and she smiled when he laughed and hugged her back.

At around 7, he left to have dinner with Quinn. So Santana spent the night in her own room, on her computer, on Skype with Brittany, and sexting Puck. The boy was bored and horny, and that was never a good combination. Santana wasn't in the mood to invite him over or to leave the house, so she settled for phone sex rather than actual sex. He didn't seem to mind.

She came hard and in a way, she was thankful for the release Puck offered. She could really use it after a long day.

By 1:00 am, her dad burst through the front door. With wide, worried eyes, Santana sat up on her bed. He couldn't have been more quiet? Why did he need to make such noise and bang against the nearest wall?

The dramatic side of Santana worried that something horrible happened, so she quietly opened her bedroom door and tiptoed out. She could hear a distinctive sound coming from the front door, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Richard was definitely gasping for air, and he was rubbing something against the wall.

Santana walked over the railing on the stairs and peered her head over to look down at the foyer. Her eyes widened in shock and she covered her mouth so she wouldn't scream.

There, out in the open, Richard and Quinn were heavily making out. He had Quinn pinned against the wall, and Quinn was eagerly moaning into his mouth. Santana's eyes widened in disgust and sadness. It sucked to see her father with someone else. Let alone someone as beautiful and young as Quinn. Santana understood that maybe she was trying to take Maria's place, but it almost seemed like she was trying to take Santana's place as well.

Anger boiled in the pit of her stomach and for some reason, Santana couldn't look away.

Her brain was begging her feet to walk back into her bedroom and pretend like this never happened, and her feet were begging her brain to shut up. Santana watched and she felt so dirty because of it.

Standing over the pair, she watched as Richard grabbed a handful of Quinn's ass and squeezed it. The blonde threw her head back and moaned in approval. He must have great hands to get a reaction like that out of the blonde. They were no longer kissing, however that didn't stop Richard from kissing all the way down her neck. He sucked on her pulse point and judging from Santana's angle, he probably left a mark.

The blonde thrust her hips up uncontrollably and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. "God, yes, Rich!" She screamed and Santana wanted to throw up.

"Shh, we can't wake her," Richard whispered, looking up at her hungrily, and she nodded in agreement.

Richard went back to attacking her neck and then something amazing happened. And by amazing, Santana meant absolutely terrifying and something she could never forget.

Quinn's eyes opened and found hers. Quinn was staring at her. Quinn knew that Santana was watching, and Quinn didn't say anything. Instead, the blonde stayed silent and that fucking smirk took over her face.

Then, the blonde had the nerve to playfully wink up at Santana as she rolled her hips into Richard. Santana stood there, completely frozen, and she couldn't move her eyes away from Quinn's. They were connected in that moment and Santana couldn't believe that she was stupid enough to get caught.

"So good, baby. Hmm.. you're so fucking good," Quinn purred, and her eyes never left Santana's. It felt dirty and erotic and Santana definitely realized that she couldn't watch anymore. She crossed the line from strange to inappropriate. She was so far crossed the line.

Santana blushed and quickly turned around and ran back into her room. She shut the door quietly and leaned against it. Her eyes were wide and she was panting.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Quinn and Richard were dry humping by the front door, and Quinn was watching _her. _Quinn had caught Santana and she winked at her! God, Santana was so fucking screwed.

Her father was dating a manipulative slut, and Santana had to change that.

She quickly grabbed her phone and pressed number 2 on speed dial.

It rang twice before the girl answered.

"You better have a good reason for calling me at 1:30 in the morning," Brittany's voice said tiredly.

"I need your help to break them up. I'll do anything."

* * *

**There wasn't a whole lot of Quinntana interaction in this chapter, however it was my favourite to write. I loved writing the flashback, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. **

**Little Santana is so adorable I wanted to cry. **

**Anyway! Leave some reviews on how you think Brittany and Santana should break them up. What should they do? **

**Let me know in the reviews!**

**I appreciate all of the positive feedback you guys have given me. I love you all!**


	5. Lucy

**CHAPTER 5**

**Thank you all for the positive feedback! It means so much to me that so many people are invested with this story, despite the heavy warnings. **

**I know you guys have high expectations for this story, so I'll try my best not to let you down. Someone asked what actor is see when I write about Richard, and without even realizing it, I've pictured Pierce Brosnan as Richard Lopez. Google and have a look. I think you can agree that he's a good visual.**

**I can assure you that Quinntana is intact endgame. Our girls will get together soon enough, I promise.**

**OH, and I reached 50 reviews! 50 reviews in 4 chapters?! That is a pretty big deal for me. Thank you all so much! XOXO**

**Without further adieux, here is chapter 5. **

* * *

It hurt. It really did. This was why Santana hated being vulnerable, because she always, _always _ends up hurt, and it isn't fair.

Her exception was always her dad. In fact, Richard was her exception to every rule she made for herself.

Don't let anyone too close.

Don't laugh too hard at jokes.

Don't smile too wide at words.

Don't cry too hard to insults.

Those were her 4 most important rules, and her dad was the exception to all of them. Trust wasn't given, it was earned. It was always earned. And Richard Lopez had earned Santana's trust. After the divorce and after he sobered up, he turned into her hero and he would always be her role model. So Santana let her guard down when it came to her dad because she could trust him with her heart. She knew that he would never break it.

However, that night, when she watched her father heavily make out with his new girlfriend, Santana felt her heart break. It wasn't because she was jealous or because she was disgusted, but it was because she was angry with him for moving on so fiercely.

She was mad at him for bringing her home. This wasn't her home. She didn't belong here. The walls were covered in memories between Santana, Richard, and even Maria. This house was fine enough on it's own with two people. It didn't need a third.

Yet, as she was smashed against the nearest wall, Quinn had already made her dent in the house and Santana's heart broke. If Richard was so quick to bring his date home, Santana knew there was no hope for her. Quinn wasn't going to leave any time soon.

So that's why she called Brittany.

She needed help and she needed it bad. The only way she was going to get her life back was it Quinn wasn't a part of it. The woman was beautiful and mysterious, but she wasn't a good fit for her father.

Surprisingly, the ditzy blonde had perfect ideas to break the pair up. Some were a little dramatic, while others were risky, however, if they performed all of them, one of them was bound to work. It would take some time, patience, and great acting skills, but if Richard and Quinn were still together by the end of it, then maybe they really were a match made in heaven.

* * *

"The first step is simple," Brittany said as they walked down the halls Monday morning. Both girls were in matching cheerio uniforms, books in their hands and their hair in a high pony. Sometimes Santana got sick of the uniform, but it saved her an extra hour to sleep so she didn't have to pick out an outfit. So it definitely at its advantage. "We need to dig up some research and really find out who Quinn Fabray is."

Santana sighed. "Britt, when you offered to help me, you made it sound like you had some pretty genius ideas. Research doesn't sound pretty genius."

Brittany stopped as she turned to face Santana. Playfully, she poked the Latina's nose. "Ahh, but it's what we _do_ with the research. Patience is key, San."

"How long is this going to take?" Santana complained.

The blonde seemed to find that amusing as she winked. "I have a computer genius for a boyfriend, remember? We'll have everything we need by tomorrow. I promise."

And with that, Brittany skipped away. Santana growled under her breath, annoyed with the whole situation. Santana hated that she was manipulating her dads love life, but unfortunately, he left no other option. For some reason, he couldn't see how horrible this girl was.

The question was, could Santana wait until tomorrow? This break up needed to happen now or she was going to change her mind. She didn't know if she could wait 24 hours.

So, she needed a distraction.

Santana stormed down the hallway on a mission, looking for the familiar head with the strange haircut and the smouldering eyes. Santana would never be interested in Puck romantically. He's a good guy, but unfortunately, he's not boyfriend material. But that's alright, because Santana isn't girlfriend material. They complete each other.

After finding him, she pointed on his shoulder determinedly. He turned around and for a moment, his eyes were soft, until they darkened at the recognition of Santana. "Well if it isn't my favourite customer," he purred.

"Please, don't make me throw up," Santana hissed with an eye roll. "I need a place to stay tonight."

Puck arched an eyebrow as he nodded. "Well after you've bruised my ego, I'm not so sure why I should let you crash at my place."

Santana groaned, completely frustrated with how stubborn he was. Puck was a good guy, and underneath his confidence and crude comments, he had a great heart. However, he didn't know how to use it, and what girls to go after. He was looking for love in all the wrong places. When they first met, Santana told Puck that she couldn't be his girlfriend. He seemed fine with it, but Santana was aware that this set up would only last so long before her got bored.

"Puckerman, please," Santana begged, and they both knew it wasn't often that Santana Lopez begged.

"Why can't you stay at your house?"

"I can't see my dad right now," she explained honestly, not wanting to say anything more. Puck knew her pretty well, and he knew that when it came to her family, he was not to ask questions. Her family was something she liked to keep private and he learned that lesson long ago.

He sighed and scratched his mohawk. "Okay fine. On one condition."

After hearing Puck agree, Santana was ready to walk down the hall and continue on her day. But of course there was a twist. There was always a twist when it came to Puck. He never did anyone favours. He was as selfish as they came. "What?" She hissed.

"Kiss me."

Santana's eyebrows arched as she threw her head back and laughed. Seriously, sometimes he was so funny. Santana grabbed onto his shoulder and nodded, "good one," she complimented, wiping her tears as she giggled softly. "No seriously, what's the condition?"

Puck smirked, not backing down. He crossed his arms. "You heard me. Kiss me. Right here. In front of everyone."

She cocked her chin forward as if she misunderstood her. "Excuse me?" She spat, shaking her head determinedly. "No. No way. Puck, you know I hate PDA." Hate was an understatement. Santana always hated when couples felt the need to express their love in public. It made her nauseous. Why did they feel the need to kiss right there? Couldn't they wait until they were alone and play all the tonsil tennis they wanted? It just didn't make sense to Santana. Plus, she didn't exactly want everyone to know that she was sleeping with Puck, let alone casually kissing him. If everyone knew, then rumours would spread, and it would probably get back to her dad.

But the worst part of all, was that kissing was far too intimate. Kissing meant love and affection. Kissing meant something a whole lot more than sex did. They say that sex is as intimate as you can get with a person, but Santana disagrees. Sex is the easiest part. It's fun and wild and if they're both having a good time, they don't need to over think things. However, a kiss speaks a thousand words. A kiss means I love you enough to show everyone. And a kiss shows her desperation for closeness. But Santana didn't feel that way with Puck.

The boy only laughed. "Oh well. Have fun with your dad tonight." He turned around with a smirk.

Furious, Santana grabbed Puck's wrist and turned him around. She cupped his cheeks and for a moment, she met his eyes. He looked hopeful, almost. It was the softest that Santana has ever seen him look and it definitely felt strange. Kissing him felt wrong. They've kissed a thousand times before, but it has all been in the heat of the moment. It's been rushed and sloppy, but never short and sweet. Never this.

Before she could change her mind, Santana shut her eyes and leaned in. Their lips connected immediately, and Santana could literally sense other people watching them. Anyone who knew Santana knew that she hated public displays of affection.

Puck instantly kissed her back. Even if Santana didn't enjoy kissing him in that moment, she could never deny that their lips fit perfectly. His lips were slightly chapped, however it felt nice against her own. They've been kissing for years, so they have created a routine already. Puck knew exactly how to kiss her to get a reaction out of her, and Santana knew exactly how fast to kiss him to get him excited.

Kissing Puck was like memorizing a script. It took time but eventually, it was perfect. Eventually.

Puck's hand found it's place on Santana's hip, and she gasped at the feeling. He took that to his advantage as he slipped his tongue in her mouth and invaded her privacy. Santana allowed herself to kiss him for a little bit longer. She traced his defined jawline with her finger and met his tongue with her own. He whimpered in front of her.

Confident that she satisfied him, Santana ended the kiss was a pop, and kissed him sweetly once more before she pulled away with a fake smile. "Well?

Puck looked completely shocked and blown away. His eyes were heavy and he was smiling like he was high. "See you tonight, gorgeous."

Santana scoffed, rolled her eyes, and walked to her first period class.

* * *

Thankfully, spending the night at Puck's didn't make Santana change her mind about interfering with her dads relationship. In fact, he was the perfect distraction.

He was the perfect distraction 6 times.

Santana was still slightly sore, but it was totally worth it.

She was at her locker when her best friend eagerly rushed towards her, practically jumping up and down in excitement. "San, San, San!" She called like a bunny on crack.

Santana sighed and turned to face the blonde. In Brittany's hand was a folder filled with a lot of paper. "Yes?" She asked, eyeing the folder and excitement boiled in her stomach.

Brittany simply smirked. "You ready to take this bitch down?"

Santana matched Brittany's smirk.

* * *

They were sitting in Brittany's room, looking through the files and the photos. Artie had really done them a favour and found everything possible about Quinn Fabray. Everything from her childhood, her high school life, college life, and on. In front of them was basically a timeline of the blonde's life.

"This can't be right.." Santana muttered, holding up an old yearbook. There was no way.

"You're holding proof, San. It's right."

Santana covered her mouth as she read the words and looked through the pictures.

The yearbook was from 1997, so Quinn couldn't have been older than 13. Santana bit her lip as she looked at the picture.

Underneath the photo wrote "Lucy Quinn Fabray." In her hands was Quinn's yearbook from before her transformation. She had dark, greasy hair, braces, acne, and was probably 50 pounds overweight. In the picture, she looked so sad. Sure, Quinn was smiling, but her eyes told a different story. There was no life in them. Quinn was a completely different person than the woman Santana got to know. "She mentioned that her real name was Lucy and that she went through an identity crisis, but I didn't realize how serious she was. This is more than an identity crisis, this is an identity change. She looks like an entirely different person," Santana exclaimed, completely shocked.

The girl in the picture looked fragile, and Quinn was everything but. Santana sighed and flipped to the back of the year book to read peoples comments.

_Smell ya later, Lucy Caboosy. Invest in some deodorant for a change! -Anthony._

_Enjoy your summer alone, freak! -Jacob._

_I'm sure I'll see you around. I mean.. you're kind of hard to miss. -Steve._

_Should I expect you at the pie eating contest next month? You won last year, I'm sure you're a shoe in. -Jessica. _

They were all so hurtful and cruel, and Santana felt her heart breaking. She couldn't relate to Quinn, but she could only imagine how hard it must be to grow up isolated and made fun of. No wonder she was so cold with people she just met. Quinn was afraid of getting hurt again.

"Britt, I'm not too sure this is a good idea. This is her life, and I'm sure this is her darkest secret. If my dad found out.. she'd be crushed," Santana reasoned, suddenly feeling guilty. She knew how it felt to have a past you're ashamed of.

Brittany sighed heavily as she met Santana's eyes. "No, you're not chickening out on me. C'mon, San, you promised we could pretend to be spies and wear all black while playing the Mission Impossible theme song."

The brunette couldn't help but chuckle as she nodded. "I know. But we're stepping into some dangerous territory right now, you know? This could ruin her."

"Yeah, but if we don't do anything to stop them, she could ruin you. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish, Santana. Come on, we knew this would be hard, but you're gonna be happy we did it."

Santana looked at Brittany, then back at the yearbook, then back at the girl, as she breathed out a soft, "you're right. Let's do this."

"Yay!" Brittany squealed as she giggled and clapped her hands.

* * *

By Wednesday night, Richard, Quinn and Santana were all having dinner at the Lopez's house. It was weird seeing Quinn again after everything that's happened.

It was weird seeing her after they made eye contact when the blonde and Richard were making out. Santana knew what she saw, and she knew that Quinn was watching her. That wasn't a misunderstanding. Santana was 100% sure that Quinn saw her and only grew more aroused at the sight, and it made Santana uncomfortable. Whenever she looked into those hazel eyes, all she could think about was Quinn's moans and how dirty she sounded pressed up against that wall. She could never unsee that.

It was also weird seeing her after seeing pictures from her childhood. Poor girl. Santana actually felt pretty bad about what she was going to do. Quinn was clearly trying to run from her past, and having it show up unexpectedly was unfair. Now when Santana saw her, she didn't automatically think that she was so horrible. She was clearly very insecure on the inside and it made Santana sympathize with her slightly. Self esteem issues never went away. Even if she was blonde and hot now, Lucy Fabray will always stay with her.

They were all sitting at the table. Quinn was beside her this time, and Richard was across Quinn. They were making casual conversation, and thankfully, they were now at the point where Quinn was trying too hard to get Santana to like her. The conversation wasn't forced, simply curious and natural. However, all Santana could think about was what she was about to do.

In the middle of Quinn's story, her phone rang. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's Brittany, I have to take this."

Quinn's eyebrows shot up. "The lesbian?"

"She's bisexual. But yes."

The blonde simply hummed, and something flashed in her eyes. Santana shrugged it off as she stood up, grabbed her phone and walked into the bathroom.

Santana put the phone to her ear. "Hello?" She whispered.

"When should I do it?" The blonde asked in a quiet voice, and it was very amusing. Santana could only imagine what Brittany was wearing. Even though Brittany wasn't going to be seen, she had probably dressed in all black, and even had gloves on incase fingerprints were checked. Brittany loved this.

"After I hang up, count to 20, then go," Santana told her.

"Got it. Over and out, Sandbags."

The Latina groaned. "These nick names are stupid."

"Say it!" Brittany encouraged, and Santana could only imagine that she was bouncing on her heels.

Hesitantly, Santana said, "over and out Bicurious Dolphin."

Brittany giggled, and then the line ended.

Santana huffed, as she exited the bathroom, and joined the couple back at the table. Quinn looked at her with a curious eyebrow. "What did she want?" Quinn asked, a slight disapproving tone in her voice.

"Homework help," Santana lied perfectly.

Quinn didn't seem satisfied with the answer, however she jumped back into conversation with Richard. Once again, Santana was interrupted. However this time, it wasn't by a phone ringing. It was by the doorbell ringing. Doing her best to act surprised, Santana furrowed her eyebrows and turned to look at the door.

"That's weird. Are you expecting anyone, sweetie?" Richard asked, standing up slowly.

Santana simply shook her head. "Not that I know of," she responded.

Santana and Quinn simply stayed seated as Richard approached the door and opened it up. Santana inhaled sharply as the door opened and she studied her dads profile. She watched him look down, bend over, and stand straight again. His eyes were focused downward as he closed the door and walked back to the table.

"Who was it?" Quinn asked, and Santana waited for the drama to unfold.

"I'm not sure exactly," Richard said, sitting back down. In his hands was a 8 by 11 printed picture of Quinn's yearbook photo. It was Lucy.

Santana bit on her lip and sat back, casually eating some of her dinner.

"Whatcha got there, Papa?"

Richard hesitantly turned the picture around and all that could be heard was Quinn gasping. "Do either of you know who this is?"

Santana shrugged innocently and looked over at Quinn. In that moment, Santana's heart broke as she saw hazel eyes quickly fill with tears. Quinn looked absolutely petrified. She looked completely broken.

"W-Where did you g-get that?" She hissed.

"It was on the doormat."

Santana licked her lips and watched their exchange.

"Quinn?" Richard asked in a low voice. "Who is it?"

The blonde quickly shot a look at Santana, and from what the Latina could tell, there was betrayal all over Quinn's eyes. Did she know what Santana did? Did she know that she planted the photo and planned on destroying the couple? Those 3 seconds were they made eye contact were painful. Santana felt absolutely horrible.

"Someone I used to know," Quinn whispered as a tear streamed down her face. "Santana, go to your room," she added.

And suddenly, all of the guilt Santana felt washed away. She let out a scoff as she shook her head. "You're not my mother," she hissed.

"Santana, go to your room!" Quinn repeated, her voice louder and more angry this time.

She visibly flinched at the sound of Quinn screaming at her. Santana chanced a look at Richard and he smiled sadly, nodding to reassure her that it was okay. Slowly, Santana stood up and headed towards the stairs. As she walked towards her room, she saw Richard staring at the blonde intently, and Quinn hiding her face. She was ashamed, and frankly, so was Santana. She felt like a horrible person.

Santana locked herself in her room, but made sure to sit close to the door. She needed to hear their conversation. However, she could only make out a few words.

_"Me."_

_"So long ago."_

_"Sorry."_

_"Lied."_

_"Trust."_

_"Love."_

Those were the only words she could properly hear. However, it didn't take long for Richard to start raising his voice. And soon enough, Quinn was shouting too. Santana felt bad for being relieved at the sound. She quickly grabbed her phone and dialled Brittany's number.

"Well?" The blonde asked.

"Bicurious Dolphin, you're a fucking genius!" Santana squealed with a giggle. "They're downstairs fighting right now. He just said "I can't believe you didn't trust me with this."" Santana laughed softly, shaking her head in disbelief.

Brittany giggled. "Well thank you, Sandbags. So do you think this is enough to break them up?"

Santana sighed and really tried to think about it. "I'm not sure. He told me he loves her, and when my Papa gets attached to someone, he won't let them go because of a stupid fight. It's going to take a pile of stupid fights to make him strong enough to let her go."

"We'll keep trying. We'll do everything, San."

Santana smiled into the phone. "She just said "What the fuck was I supposed to say? 'Hi I'm Quinn, my real name is Lucy and I used to be fat and ugly, but I'm not anymore?'" I swear Britt, this is better than cable."

They both laughed and the sound of a door slamming loudly cut them off.

"Who left?" Brittany asked.

"Probably Quinn." Santana left her room and peered over the railing. She saw her dad sitting alone at the dinner table and her heart broke. The guilt came rushing back once again. "He's all alone. I have to talk to him. Thanks so much, Britt. We'll discuss further plans tomorrow."

They hung up, and Santana walked downstairs to join her dad.

"Papa?" She asked, announcing her presence. Her voice was soft and sweet, reminding him that she was no trouble. Reminding him that she would never hurt him like Quinn did.

He looked up and his eyes were filled with tears. Her heart broke all over again. "It was her."

Santana simply furrowed her eyebrows, urging him to explain. And he did. "The girl in the picture. It's who she used to be."

She nodded in understanding and walked over to him, sitting down beside him. "I know Papa. I could tell judging by her reaction." She wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulder and rubbed it up and down. He instantly melted into her hold.

And for the first time in years, her dad cried on her shoulder. Richard hasn't cried in front of Santana since the aftermath of the divorce. He was finally letting his guard down again, so that clearly meant that he was in love with the blonde.

"What should I do?" He cried against her neck, and Santana stiffened. He was asking for her advice.

"What do you mean?" She played dumb.

Richard leaned back and looked at her, wiping his tears. "I love her with all of my heart, but she lied to me. She kept a huge part of her hidden. How am I supposed to trust her in the future if she's already kept something so huge from me. If she's hiding that, it can only make me wonder what else she's hiding. I mean.. is she even worth the trouble?"

Santana sighed and bowed her head, wanting to give him honest to god advice. "Papa, I've only seen you in love twice. Once with Mama, and now again with Quinn. And I know that when you love someone, you never let one fight prevent you from being with them. I know that trust is a huge issue for you, but she never exactly lied, right? She just… withheld the truth," Santana reasoned.

"I know," he sobbed.

"And if you really love her like you claim you do, are you really willing to give up so easily?"

Richard looked up at her and smiled softly. "When did you get so smart, baby?" He asked, kissing her cheek.

Santana's eyes shut happily at the gesture, mad at herself for being such a daddy's girl. Santana spent hours trying to come up with the perfect plan to break them up, and all it took was to see Richard cry, and she ruined all of the project. Santana had all of the power. She could have easily told her dad that Quinn wasn't the girl for him, and that he needed to move on, but for some reasons, her lips refused to cooperate. She was practically pushing him back into her arms. Santana hated herself. "I got it from you," she whispered.

They sat in a comfortable silence and he eventually ran out of tears. Hesitantly, Santana reached out to grab the picture of Lucy, and she looked down at it. "For the record, the girl in the photo is even more beautiful than the girl that had dinner with us tonight. I wish you brought _her _home." Santana said honestly, biting back tears as she set the picture down. "I probably would have liked Lucy. I wish Quinn wasn't so ashamed of her."

"Me too, angel."

* * *

It was hard to sleep that night. Maybe it was the guilt, maybe it was trauma of watching her dad cry, or maybe it was the haunting image of Lucy Fabray, but Santana couldn't sleep. She felt physically drained, but she didn't feel tired. She wished she could just close her eyes and wish the night away.

Santana really needed to sleep on the choices she was making. If Richard and Quinn broke up again, Santana couldn't even imagine how dark he would get. Was this really the path she wanted to lead him down?

Santana took a moment to think about Quinn. Lucy in the photo looked so hurt and so lonely. Her eyes were beautiful, but they looked red and puffy, as if she cried before she took the photo. Her hair was knotted and greasy, but Santana couldn't help but think that Quinn was beautiful. Sure, she had a weight issue, and she wasn't the typical beauty, but Santana definitely felt connected to Quinn. Or at least, who she used to be. Lucy seemed like a sweet girl, and Quinn seemed like the total opposite.

Sometimes it was hard to believe that they were the same person.

Santana thought back to the dinner they shared, and she remembered how Quinn stiffened when Santana announced that Brittany was calling. She went frozen as if she was angry about the realization. For some reason, Quinn didn't like Brittany. That was for sure. It was a shame because Brittany was such a huge part of her life, and Quinn didn't approve.

Quinn.

She was so mysterious, and so intriguing. Santana hated herself for being so invested in her. It was slowly becoming an obsession. The moment they met, Quinn definitely captivated Santana with her cocky smirk, those hazel eyes, and her gorgeous body. Quinn screamed sex appeal, and if Santana weren't so confident about her own sex appeal, she would feel threatened by Quinn. Quinn may just be hotter than she was. There was only room for one hot bitch in Lima, Ohio, and her name wasn't Quinn Fabray.

However, the bitch facade only seemed to be an act. Judging by Quinn's reaction when she saw the old photo of herself, all of her confidence broke down. Quinn was vulnerable and on display, and Santana saw the _real_ Quinn. In fact, for a moment, Santana could have sworn she was introduced to Lucy. It was such a sad sight to see Quinn so broken. And it was all Santana's fault.

Santana hated herself for thinking so much about Quinn. Quinn and her gorgeous blonde hair, those intimidating hazel eyes, and that fucking smirk. Her lips were pink and perfectly shaped, and her eyebrows quirked adorably when she felt threatened. Dammit, Santana should not have noticed this much about her.

And with thoughts of Quinn invading her mind uncontrollably, Santana eventually managed to fall asleep.

* * *

**Yay! Hope you liked it. Also, hoped you liked another side of Quinn. **

**We are slowly working towards Quinntana. I really don't want to rush this. This should grow naturally and properly, so even if that means this will be 30 chapters long, I'll do it. **

**Please please please review. **

**OH! And…. for the 100th viewer, I will grant you a wish for this story, whether it's a plot development, a line you would like a character to say, or a character you would like me to include, I will do it. So, whoever lucky 100 is, I will grant your wish. **

**XX**


	6. Silence of the Eggs

**CHAPTER 6**

**I love all of you to death, just saying. **

**Anyone else struggling with the super long Glee hiatus?**

* * *

The next morning, Santana expected the house to be quiet, cold and empty. Last night was very difficult for Santana, and she felt absolutely terrible about outing Quinn like that. Her past is none of Santana's business, and Santana did a bitchy thing by exposing the blonde to her boyfriend.

Santana turned into someone she never wanted to be. So maybe, just maybe, she could try to get the pair back together, bite down her complaints, and just be grateful that her father is happy. Otherwise, she would forever live with the guilt and that wasn't something she was looking forward to.

However, the hour wasn't quiet. It wasn't cold, and it definitely wasn't empty. In fact, from downstairs, Santana could hear pots and pans smashing together, and a smell of bacon and eggs travelled to her room. The Latina couldn't help but smile. She thought her dad had work! Was he taking a sick day because he was so heart broken? That made her smile falter. However, the thought of spending her morning with her dad made the hurt go away a little bit. It would be nice to apologize for her behaviour last night, even if he wasn't aware of what she did.

It was a Thursday, and she had school, but Santana always made sure to wake up early enough to have a decent breakfast without feeling rushed.

So, she got out of bed, showered, brushed her teeth, did her hair, and got dressed into her cheerio uniform. She felt fresh and ready for the day. When she saw Brittany, Santana would tell the bubbly blonde that they needed to put a stop to their plan. Sure, Quinn wasn't the nicest woman in the world, but for some strange reason, she made her dad very happy. Santana had to deal with that.

She looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't help but smile at her reflection. The skirts were always super short and it showed off enough thigh to be flirty but not slutty. She slicked her hair back into a high pony, and tightened it confidently. Santana added some eyeliner and mascara before she was ready for the day. Now, all she needed was breakfast to fill her up, and she would be on her way.

As Santana walked down the stairs, she was both excited and nervous to see her dad. She hoped that after sleeping on it, he woke up slightly happier and lighter than he was last night. However, Santana always knew better. Richard Lopez never got over break ups that easily. Is that even what happened? Did they break up?

Santana headed into the kitchen and spoke as she turned the corner, "Papa, I thought you had work this morning?" She asked. However, it wasn't her dad that was in the kitchen making breakfast. Santana stopped in her tracks and froze at what she saw. No, it wasn't Richard at all.

It was Quinn.

Quinn was in her house, making breakfast, and invading Santana's privacy. And worst of all?

She was wearing Richards dress shirt and panties.

Santana almost choked at the sight. She always knew that Quinn was an attractive woman, but having it shoved in her face made her stomach flip uncomfortably. Santana had given away her presence, and she was aware of Quinn's eyes on her, however she couldn't find it in herself to look Quinn in the eyes. She was too dumbfounded to smarten up and show Quinn some respect. Instead, her eyes travelled the woman's body. She was definitely curvy, but in the best way possible.

The top three buttons on the top were undone, and if Quinn turned to the side completely, Santana would probably be able to see her bra. The sleeves were rolled up, and god, even her forearms were beautiful. The shirt was long enough to cover her underwear, so Santana was only _assuming_ that she was wearing panties. She hoped so, otherwise she would probably faint. Quinn's legs seemed to go on for miles and miles. They were tone, pale, and hairless.

Santana blinked stupidly and was snapped out of her glare at the sound of Quinn clearing her throat. Santana looked up back at her and flushed awkwardly at the sight of Quinn smirking. Shit. Quinn caught her staring.

She felt sick to her stomach by the sight of Quinn with tangled, ratted hair. It was sex hair. Santana wanted to throw up.

Quinn licked her lips and chuckled under her breath before confidently saying, "like what you see?" Then she had the nerve to wink.

Santana scoffed as if she was offended, however she avoided the question. She avoided it because she didn't know the answer.

No, she didn't like what she saw, because she would rather her dad be home instead of Quinn.

However, she wasn't completely disappointed by Quinn's presence when she was wearing _that. _And that confused Santana more than anything. Her stomach ached again, but it wasn't a cramp or anything painful. It was just… weird. Santana couldn't name the feeling, nor did she want to.

"Where's my dad?" She asked, ignoring Quinn condescending question.

"Your _Papa _is at work," Quinn provided, and it almost sounded like she was mocking Santana. The Latina huffed and rolled her eyes. Suddenly, she remembered the delicious smell of bacon and eggs, and she couldn't help but feel the slightest bit grateful.

Santana walked past the oven and towards the kitchen table. She sat down and silence filled the kitchen. All that was heard was the delicious sizzling of bacon and eggs. Santana was absolutely starving.

"I didn't hear you come in last night," Santana stated, her tone had a slight bite to it, and she found herself hating Quinn all over again.

Quinn laughed as if Santana told a joke. "We were very quiet with our activities." Quinn looked over her shoulder at Santana and winked at her. Santana's stomach flipped again and she harshly bit on her lip.

Activities?

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

Then again, judging by Quinn's choice of clothing and hairdo this morning, activities was probably code for sex.

Santana shut her eyes and tried to force the feeling of vomit sneaking up her throat. The thought of Richard and Quinn having sex while Santana was in the house made her want to move out. How inconsiderate of them.

"Right well… I figured after last night I wouldn't be seeing you around here for a while."

Quinn chuckled again as she added some salt and pepper to the eggs. "Sweetie, I told you this once, and I'll tell you again," the blonde looked over at Santana with a quirked eyebrow, "I'm not going anywhere. And after the stunt you pulled last night, it's going to take a lot more to get rid of me than some blast from the past."

Santana gasped and her eyes widened.

Quinn knew.

But how?

Santana didn't think she was very obvious with her planning, so how on earth did Quinn know.

"Don't act so shocked, buttercup. Yes, I know it was you," she simply stated, but Quinn didn't exactly sound mad.

Santana struggled for a second to find her words before she muttered, "h-how?"

Quinn took a spatula and put the eggs and bacon onto a plate. Happily, she designed it to look like a smiley face, and cheerfully put the plate in front of Santana. "Bon appetite," she said in a breathy, happy tone that only confused Santana more. "I may be blonde, Santana, but I'm not dumb." Quinn jumped up on the counter and parted her legs before swinging them back and forth.

Santana looked up and her eyes were locked on the middle of Quinn's legs. There was darkness there, so she couldn't see anything, however she knew what laid between those gorgeous thighs, and it made her tug harshly on her lip. Quinn needed to put some clothes on or Santana was going to go crazy.

She had no idea why, but Quinn was quickly getting into her blood stream. And it annoyed the shit out of her.

Santana simply sat there, begging for Quinn to continue. So she did.

"You never liked me. You're 16 years old, and from what I've heard, you're pretty good at getting your way. I knew that you were going to do anything and everything possible to get your dad and I to break up, so when the picture of me was left on the doorstep, I figured you got your little fuck buddy to do you a favour," Quinn simply said, her voice calm, and her signature smirk on her lips.

Santana fisted the fork angrily, but she managed to calm down. Carefully, Santana took her first bite of the eggs, and they were delicious. In fact, they were better than any other eggs before she's had in her life, but Quinn didn't need to know that.

"Brittany and I are _not _fuck buddies," Santana hissed, practically seeing red.

Quinn laughed and held up her hands defensively. Slowly, the blonde crossed her legs, causing the dress shirt to ride up her thigh. Santana almost choked on her breakfast at the sight. "Hey, I'm not judging. You're free to do whatever you want. Besides, I won't tell your dad. Girls code." Quinn winked again.

Santana finished her first egg before licking her lips. "Can you get me some milk?" She asked, hesitating to add a 'please' to the end of it, but she decided against it.

The blonde hopped off the counter with a nod. But instead of going to the fridge, she sauntered towards the kitchen table. She was practically hovering over Santana as she looked down at the younger girl. "I don't want Brittany to touch you." Quinn whispered, but her voice sounded low and angry. Quinn sounded like she was seconds away from screaming.

"She doesn't," Santana whispered back, looking up at Quinn with wide, slightly confused eyes.

Quinn's hard persona faded as she nodded slowly. Her shoulders seemed to sag in relief. "Good."

And with that, Quinn turned around and walked to the fridge. Santana followed her with her eyes, because she was rather confused with what just happened.

Santana watched as the blonde bent all the way over to get the milk out of the fridge. Her mouth widened in shock and a piece of bacon fell out of her mouth at the sight. In the process of bending over, Quinn's dress shirt hiked up, and her entire underwear clad ass was in the air.

Santana crossed her legs uncomfortably and squeezed them tightly together as she stared.

She couldn't look away.

Oddly enough, when she squeezed her thighs together, the strange feeling in her stomach went away.

Admittedly, Quinn's ass was absolutely glorious. It was firm and lacked cellulite. It was everything Santana could wish for. She quickly looked away before she was caught gawking, and went back to eating her breakfast.

Quinn returned with a glass of milk and took a seat across from Santana at the kitchen table.

Silence fell over the room as Santana took an eager sip and eventually began eating her second egg.

The only sounds heard were Santana's fork and knife scraping the plate, and Quinn breathing rather heavily.

Eventually, Santana decided to man up.

"Look, I'm really sorry about last night. What I did was awful," she admitted, looking into hazel eyes.

Quinn's expression softened. "Thank you," she whispered, and it was the first time Santana ever heard her sound remotely genuine. "I understand why you did it. If I were in your position, I would have done the same thing. It's just weird seeing your past literally knock on the front door of your present, and be forced to deal with it, you know?"

Santana nodded. "What I did was shady and I should have stayed out of it."

Quinn nodded appreciatively. "Yeah, you should have. But it's good to know that I'm getting under your skin, too."

The Latina looked up and furrowed her eyebrows. "_Too?_"

The blonde smirked and nodded. "I think about you sometimes, Lopez." She teased with a wink, and Santana was awed into silence.

Deciding to ignore Quinn's confusing comments, Santana finished off the rest of her breakfast. Once the plate was cleaned, she grabbed her plate, stood up, and walked over to the sink to rinse it. She thought about the day ahead of her. She had to talk to Brittany and fill her in on the mornings activities. And suddenly, Santana wasn't so sure what she was going to do. Did she still want Quinn gone? Or could she get used to having the cocky girl around? Santana was swaying her hips absent-mindedly as she cleaned and thought about what tough decisions she had ahead of her.

Quinn chuckled from behind her, so Santana looked at her and said, "What?"

"A cheerleader uniform looks good on you," Quinn said, leaning back in her chair as her eyes glanced all over her.

Santana suddenly felt very exposed. Just this morning she loved how short the skirt was, and now she felt like she was revealing too much. She busied herself in cleaning the dishes, and switched topics as soon as possible. "So my dad forgave you for lying to him?

Quinn stood up and leaned against the wall. "I didn't exactly lie to him. I told him that my real name was Lucy, I just never told him why I changed it in the first place."

Santana nodded in understanding. "It's kind of a big secret to keep, don't you think?"

Out of the blue, Quinn said, "are you a virgin?"

Santana gasped at the question. She turned off the faucet and looked at Quinn angrily. "Who the fuck do you think you a-"

"Are you a virgin?" She repeated.

Santana didn't know what she was trying to prove, but slowly, she whispered, "no."

Quinn looked tense for a moment and she ground her teeth together. If Santana didn't know better, she would have assumed that she was livid in anger. "_That's_ kind of a big secret to keep, don't _you _think?"

Suddenly, Santana understood what point Quinn was trying to make. "It's different," she defended weakly.

The blonde laughed as she rolled her eyes. "I lied about my traumatic childhood, and you're lying about your sex life. You're right, it is pretty different. Only one of the lies is forgivable."

Quinn looked like she was about to turn around, and Santana was desperate to make sure that her dad didn't find out. So, without thinking much, she snatched Quinn's wrist to keep her from leaving. Quinn slowly tuned around and quirked an eyebrow, waiting for Santana to speak. "You can't tell him," she begged, showing weakness and vulnerability.

Quinn licked her lips and slowly, a smirk appeared on her face. "It'll be our little secret, sweetie. Girls code," she whispered the last part, and Santana once again, found her eyes travelling down Quinn's half naked body. "I'm gonna get dressed. I'll drive you to school," Quinn added, leaving no room for discussion. She moved away from Quinn's grasp and slowly walked towards the stairs. Before she climbed up them, she turned around. "Just tell me one thing," she prompted, and Santana nodded, "was it with Brittany?"

Santana rolled her eyes. She was getting really annoyed with Quinn constantly asking questions about Brittany. She didn't have a right to know such personal things about her, yet she kept asking with no excuses. "No." Santana simply told her, and left it at that. Quinn didn't deserve to know anymore.

The blonde nodded as she hummed, satisfied. Quinn then turned around and walked upstairs to get dressed.

* * *

It felt weird to be in a car alone with Quinn. It was a pretty small vehicle, and they were closed in. Suddenly, Santana was feeling pretty claustrophobic. She couldn't run from Quinn. She couldn't run from that smirk, and she couldn't run from her inappropriate comments.

Santana was thankful that Quinn put on some pants, but they were pretty tight pants, and all Santana could really think about was the outline of her ass in those panties. She felt so disgustingly gross for thinking that way.

The car parked in front of Mckinely. Santana looked over at the blonde and smiled appreciatively. "Thanks for the ride," she said with an awkward nod.

Quinn nodded back with a smile. "No problem, baby. Maybe we can make a habit of this?"

Santana tensed at the term of endearment. It was different from when Quinn called her 'sweetie'. Sweetie sounded young, but 'baby' sounded intimate. It sounded like something lovers called each other, and it felt weird coming off of Quinn's lips and directed at her. "Hopefully not," she answered honestly.

Santana grabbed her bag and unlocked the car door. Just as she was about to leave, Quinn reached out and grabbed her knee. "Have a good day."

The Latina furrowed her eyebrows and looked over at Quinn questioningly. She sounded so sincere. She sounded like her mom for a second, and Santana could cry from a mix of confusion, happiness, and anger. Quinn had no right to take over that role.

"By the way," Santana whispered, not pushing Quinn's hand away from her knee. "Lucy Fabray was very beautiful. I think her and I could have been really good friends."

Quinn nodded slowly. "How about you and _Quinn _Fabray?" She asked, almost sounding insecure.

A smile slowly built on Santana's face. "We'll see."

Santana bit on her lip and decided to be bold. Without knowing why, she leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Quinn's cheek. She heard the blonde gasp beside her. "Thanks for the ride." And with that, Santana got out of the car and rushed off.

Little did Santana know that Quinn sat in the parking lot for 5 minutes, touching her cheek with a wide grin on her face.

* * *

When Santana got home from school, Quinn was no where to be seen. She must have went back home.

Richard however, was sitting in the kitchen with a glass of water and the newspaper opened. "Hey, darling, how was school?" He asked, smiling brightly at her.

Santana happily walked over. "Hi, Papa. It was.. good." She answered honestly, smiling with a bite on the lip. "So I heard you and Quinn made up."

That only brightened his smile. "We did. She's very fond of you, baby girl. When I got home from work, she ranted on and on about how you two had breakfast together, and how she drove you to school. I think it means a lot to her that you're making an effort."

Santana bit on her lip and nodded slowly. "Yeah.." she whispered and scratched the back of her head tiredly. "Well I'm exhausted from school, Papa. I'm going to take a nap, alright?"

The man nodded and pressed a quick kiss on Santana's forehead before sending her off.

* * *

_Santana flinched at the sound of the door slamming. She didn't understand why her Mama left so angrily. Truthfully, she didn't understand why her Mama left at all, but she promised her that everything would be okay and that she would be back soon. _

_Santana chewed on her bottom lip nervously and stared at the closed door. _

_Santana must have stood there for 15 minutes before she got bored and got worried about Papa. He hasn't left the kitchen yet. _

_She turned around and skipped back into the kitchen to check on him. _

_The bottle of wine looked about half empty now, and Richard was staring straight ahead of him with no emotion on her face. Santana looked up at him, her own eyes watering slowly. "P-P-Papa?" She whispered, waving a hand in front of his face. _

_He blinked, and that calmed Santana down slightly. At least she knew that he was okay. _

_"She's gone.." She slurred under his breath. Santana furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the side. _

_"Who is, Papa?"_

_Richard looked up and glared at his little girl. "Mama."_

_Santana gasped as he spoke her name so bitterly. It was as if he was saying Voldemort. "No she's not." Santana said, sure of herself as she shook her head. Carefully, Santana reached out to grab the bottle of wine. Maybe if she took it away from him, he could sleep it off. When he woke up, Mama would be back, and they would be a family again. It would all be better again. "She's coming back."_

_Richard scoffed as if Santana told a funny joke. He shook his head and reached out to grab the bottle of wine. "She's gone," he repeated, sounding as if he was giving up. _

_Santana groaned against his hold, trying to hold onto the bottle of wine firmer. _

_"Santana, let go."_

_"Mama will be here when you wake up, Papa! She promised! You don't need to drink, okay? We'll have apple juice together, and we can pretend this never happened!" Santana managed to smile for him as she roughly pulled the bottle towards her. As she did, Richard let go of the bottle, and it went crashing to the ground. Santana gasped as glass and red liquid spilt everywhere. _

_The man gasped, yelled and screamed as the alcohol went to waste. That was the only bottle they had. They got rid of all the alcohol last time. "What did you do?!" He shouted, looking at her. Richard grabbed the girls shoulder and shook her. Not too roughly, but just enough to snap her out of it. _

_"I'm saving you, Papa!" She cried, tears streaming down her face. "You were scary last time you drank. You don't need to anymore! Mama will be right back!"_

_Richard laughed out of sympathy as he let of of his daughter. "Wake up, Santana! She lied! She's gone, and she's not coming back!"_

_Santana's eyes filled with tears as he shouted at her. That couldn't be true, could it? Maria never lied to Santana. She would never do that to her. _

_Richard quickly forgot about his crying daughter and fell to the floor, trying to save what was left of his drink. He was drunk, and Santana knew that she shouldn't take what he did when he was drunk too harshly. He never meant any of it. But Santana needed him now more than ever, and he was becoming a shadow of the man he used to be. _

_He was so invested in the wine that he didn't notice Santana slowly back away until she ran out of the house. She ran towards the end of her driveway and looked both ways. She couldn't find her Mama anywhere. _

_"Mama!" She screamed desperately, tears clouding her vision. _

_Without thinking, Santana bolted. She ran to the right, trying to find her Mama. She always knew how to help Papa when he got so drunk that he lost all of his inhibitions. _

_"Mama!" Santana shouted again, sobbing uncontrollably. She was practically running blind since her tears made her sight blurry. _

_Suddenly, the 12 year old bumped into someone. Santana didn't even look up to see who she was, she just wrapped her arms around her waist and sobbed desperately into the persons stomach. "Mama….." Santana cried, though she knew that the woman she was hugging wasn't her mom. She knew that because she didn't hug her the same way Maria used to hug her. _

_"Shh…" The soothing voice of the woman said, rubbing Santana's back up and down. _

Santana woke with a jolt, sweating and gasping. It's been 4 years and she still dreams of that day.

Santana lay awake in her bed and wondered if she would ever get over that day.

The day that changed everything.

* * *

**Another favourite chapter of mine. **

**We got back to flirty Quinn, and I love writing her like that. Review Review Review!**


	7. Where Everything Changed

**CHAPTER 7**

**I am so overwhelmed by the feedback you guys are giving me. I appreciate every single review, and I smile every time I get an alert for this story. You guys keep me writing. **

**School has started, so my updates won't be as often as they have been in the past. However every day, I will try to get some writing in. **

* * *

Friday. Ahh, what a wonderful day. It was a windy day in September, but in Santana's eyes, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping.

If Santana could give a day of the week a medal, she would give it to Friday. Friday is the only day of the week that gives students a reason to be in a good mood at school. Because yes, they're still locked inside their classrooms, but in a few hours, they get 2 days away from the rotten teachers and the annoying students.

For Santana, it was the day before freedom.

However, lately, home wasn't feeling too free. When she was awake, her dad was always rambling on about how much he loves Quinn, and when she's asleep, she's having nightmares about the day her mom left. So at this point, she would actually prefer to be at school.

School had distractions. Distractions like her bubbly best friend and her horny fuck buddy. At this point, they were the most important people in her life.

Santana was sitting in English, listening to her teacher ramble on and on about a useless story with useless characters. Santana could care less about Othello and how much he loved Desdemona. Didn't Othello know that love was complete bullshit? Why was he wasting his time on a 'true' love when he could dodge the whole story, and survive? Love kills, and Shakespeare has always made that very clear in his plays.

She had zoned out a long time ago. Between her teachers high pitched voice, and Berry raising her hand every five seconds, Santana decided that the day would go on much smoother if she zoned everyone out. So, she was.

With her hand holding the weight of her head, Santana mindlessly doodled on her notebook. Between flowers, smiley faces, and crosses, Santana filled her entire page with pointless figures and random letters. When she doodled, she had no control over what she wrote down on the paper, because she always tended to get lost in the hobby. The pencil would do all the work, and she gave it all the power.

The only thing that could snap her out of it was the bell, or the teacher calling her name. However, this time, she heard a very familiar voice whisper, "Pst!"

Santana dropped her pencil and rolled her eyes to herself. She hated being interrupted in the middle of a math piece.

She abandoned her doodling, and looked over in the direction of the voice. There he sat, with a goofy smile on his face, holding a piece of paper.

"Catch," he whispered, tossing the paper towards her.

She didn't catch it, but thankfully, it landed on the desk. Santana sighed to herself. Passing notes was so juvenile, however she had to admit that talking to Puck was better than listening to her teacher, so she uncrumpled the paper.

His messy hand writing was the first thing she saw. It was oddly charming, and Santana couldn't help but find his printing adorable.

_You looked bored :)_

Santana found herself laughing lightly. She looked up to make sure the teacher wasn't on to them, before she grabbed her pencil and responded.

_Not so much anymore. Whats up?_

She threw it over her shoulder. Santana watched as he read it, and she couldn't help but smile softly at the way his eyes softened at her words. Within seconds, the paper was back on her desk.

_You look really nice today. Just thought you should know that._

Surprisingly, Santana blushed. He was actually complimenting her? The only time Puck said nice things about her was when he was seconds away from climaxing. Other than that, they didn't compliment each other. Yet he just did. Curiously, she looked over at him, but he wasn't looking at her. He was looking down, clearly embarrassed and somewhat nervous about her response.

She wrote a simple word before throwing it back to him.

_Thanks._

Santana giggled at how quickly he grabbed his pencil and wrote something down.

_What do you think about Othello?_

She certainly didn't expect Puck to ask her that. In fact, Santana was surprised that he knew the title of the book. Puck never paid attention in class, so Santana was definitely impressed.

_It's stupid. Othello's love for Desdemona is just going to get him killed. Just like Romeo._

Santana wrote the truth, and threw the note back to him.

It was returned within seconds.

_Why are you so against love?_

The words infuriated her. Santana never liked talking about serious topics. Especially not with Puck.

_It never works out. _

She gave the paper back to him, and studied his face as he read the words. Puck seemed pretty passionate about the topic since he wrote quickly and furiously.

_How would you know if you never even allowed yourself to try? _

Santana read his words 3 times in shock. Quickly, she responded.

_This conversation is over. I am NOT talking about this with you. Janitors closet in one hour._

She watched as Puck read it, and slowly, he looked over at her. Their eyes met for the first time since they started writing to each other, and he didn't look as young and as happy as he did when he first passed the note to her. Slowly, he nodded.

Yes, Santana was mad at him for bringing up her disbelief in love. It was none of his business what she believed in. However, she was still horny. She was mad, but that didn't stop her from having urges. Besides, angry sex was the best sex.

The conversation was over. Even if he tried responding, Santana wouldn't read it. Sometimes, Puck annoyed her to no end because he never took no for an answer. He was persistent and aggressive when he needed to be. He was the male version of her.

Santana huffed and looked back down at her doodling. Her eyes widened at something she saw written down in the bottom right corner.

She never remembered writing it down. She never remembered even _thinking _about writing it down.

However, there it stood. 5 letters written in perfection with a heart traced around it.

Quinn.

* * *

Santana was beginning to feel numb all over. She always thought that after sex, she would feel energized and relieved, however she only hated herself afterward. She felt like a cheap whore. She felt useless. Santana was beginning to feel like an outsider looking in.

Brittany had Artie.

Mike had Tina.

Fuck, even Berry had Finn.

Santana didn't necessarily _want_ anyone, however she couldn't help but feel as lonely as ever. Not even Puck could make her feel worthy enough.

The Latina didn't believe in love, so guys stopped wasting their time on her. However, that didn't mean that she didn't want love.

In fact, Santana craved it.

All she's ever wanted in life was to be loved by someone. Her mom never loved her, and her dad always loved drinking more than her.

Santana was never anyones first choice. It would be nice to feel chosen for once. It would be nice to be somebody's one and only.

Just because Santana didn't believe in love didn't mean that she didn't want it. She was just smart enough to know that it never worked out. Santana didn't have time to waste on things that didn't last. So, she separated herself from anything that would result in her getting hurt. So far, she's been doing a pretty shitty job. Because no matter what she does, all she feels is hurt.

Santana couldn't remember the last time she was truly happy, the last time she laughed so hard that she cried, or the last time she allowed herself to trust a person completely.

She was currently standing in the janitors closet, putting her clothes back on. Her hands were soaked in Puck's cum, so she awkwardly sucked it off her fingers. He always found that hot.

Santana eyed him as she licked her hand clean, and she could have sworn his limp cock threatened to harden at the sight of her. She bent over and tugged her underwear back onto her hips, followed by her cheerio skirt and top.

Looking at her reflection in her phone, she tightened her ponytail, and hid all evidence of what she and Puck just shared together.

He was pretty aggressive in his movements, and Santana always loved him best like that. It made her feel alive, even if she slowly felt like she was dying.

They were getting dressed in silence, and it was moments like these that reminded Santana that just because she had Puck, she didn't _have _him. They used each other, and that was the extent of their relationship.

She didn't want to be in a relationship with him, but when their orgasms faded, and their praises ended, they were left with the silence and shame of what they just did.

These few minutes were always so horrible. Sometimes, she wondered if it was worth the amazing sex.

"Go out with me," Puck pleaded as he threw on his shirt and ruffled his hair.

Santana was getting ready to leave when the words left the boys mouth. Her brows furrowed as she slowly turned to look at him. He looked dead serious, but she couldn't help but think that he was kidding. So, she let out a laugh. "Very funny. See you later, Puckerman."

"Go out with me," he repeated, his voice more stern this time.

She froze once again, and turned around to face him. She gave the boy her full attention. "You do realize that you're talking to _me_, right? Santana Lopez: Anti-Love?"

The boy seemed to find that funny since he let out a soft chuckle. "Dammit, Santana, I'm not asking for your hand in marriage. Just go out with me!"

The Latina shook her head and scratched her temple as awkward silence filled with closet. "I'm not into you like that, Puck.

He didn't seem convinced. "You're not into me like that? San, we just fucked in a public closet. Try again."

"I'm not into _anyone_ like that."

"Like what?" He practically shouted, and Santana flinched.

Santana groaned at his persistence. "Romantically!" She shouted back, clenching her jaw in anger. "I don't do relationships, Puck. You know that. When we first started hooking up, you and I were on the same page. You told me you weren't interested in a relationship either!"

Puck nodded, not denying it. "Yeah well, things change."

Santana laughed and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Honestly, I am. But I stopped believing in that kind of stuff a long time ago. I don't want to waste your time."

"You won't be wasting my time," he took a few steps closer, causing Santana to take a few steps back. She eventually backed up into the door and she had no where to run.

Santana sighed softly and shook her head. "You don't want me," she whispered, shaking her head desperately.

"Yes I do."

"No."

"I do," Puck promised her, smiling softly at her. He reached out and lifted Santana's chin up softly, looking her in the eyes. "I'm not good at romance and shit, but I know what I want, and I want you. We have a connection, Santana, and you can't deny that. I can call you out on your shit, and you can call me out on mine. We're good together if you just gave me a shot. I'm not asking for you to fucking run away with me. I get that you have issues and fears and shit with this kind of stuff, but I'm just asking for you to give me a shot."

Santana looked up at him and studied him. She had no idea that he was interested in her emotionally. She thought that this was all about the sex for him. Truthfully, Santana didn't even know that he was capable of human emotion. Slowly, a tear slid down her cheek.

He wiped it away sweetly. "One date."

Santana took a deep breath in and shut her eyes. "One date," she agreed with a soft nod.

The smile that appeared on his face was both adorable and heart breaking.

* * *

"Brittany!" Santana called, running down the hallways and towards the blondes locker. Brittany would know what to do. She was always really good at helping Santana in a crisis. "Britt!" She called again when she was closer, and eventually reached the blonde.

Brittany turned to face her and smiled brightly at the sight of the Latina. "Hey, San. What's up?"

Santana was practically panting. The second she agreed to Puck's date, she ran out of the closet and straight to find Brittany. This was an emergency. "Code red," she simply said.

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows and slowly shook her head. "Am I supposed to know what that means?"

The Latina groaned impatiently. "C'mon, Britt! Code red? We made up different codes Freshman year so that we could gossip in public. Remember?"

Recognition covered Brittany's face as she nodded eagerly. "Oh yeah! Code red, got it! So you're pregnant?"

"What?! No, that's code black!" Santana huffed in frustration. She figured it would just be a lot easier to tell Brittany without all the code words. "Puck asked me out."

"Out where?"

The Latina took a calm deep breath. Sometimes, Brittany had her moments where she wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, but Santana still loved her. "On a date."

Blue eyes widened and she gasped. "Oh my god. What did you say?"

Santana groaned. "I said yes. I didn't know what else to say! He was so sweet about it, and practically begged me to give him a chance. But Britt, I can't go through with this, I just can't. He's the one guy I promised myself that I would never intentionally hurt."

"You guys have been through a lot together," Brittany agreed as she nodded slowly. "And now he _likes_ you. God, that's big." Santana nodded in agreement. "Oh! I got it! Artie and I are going out to Breadstix tonight, why don't we make it a double date? That way it won't be as awkward and you can let him down softly after."

Santana nodded slowly and she smiled. "Good idea. You're a life saver, I owe you big time." Santana wrapped her arms around the blonde, then ran off to tell Puck the plans.

* * *

Turns out, dinner wasn't so bad. Since they went on a double date rather than a one on one, it felt more like a group of friends handing out rather than a date. Santana was so grateful for the blonde.

Admittedly, her and Artie were pretty cute together.

Santana watched as they fed each other and kissed sweetly, and instead of cringing, she was truly happy that her best friend was happy. Brittany deserved someone who would respect her and treat her the way she deserved to be treated. A lot of people disrespected Brittany because she was a little different, but Santana knew that Artie would never hurt her.

And if he did, she would go all Lima Heights on his ass.

As for Puck, he clearly made an effort with his appearance, whether or not he admitted it. He was wearing a dress shirt with jeans, and his mohawk was neatly combed. He seemed nervous when he picked her up, but when they got to the restaurant, he loosened up.

Santana simply wore a turquoise, purple and black striped dress with black boots. She looked great, but when Puck complimented her, she couldn't help but blush softly.

Santana was a girl, after all. When a cute boy compliments her, she gets a little embarrassed.

She was allowing herself to enjoy the evening, because once Puck dropped her off, Santana was going to end it. She didn't want to string the boy along. He deserved better than that. Puck always deserved better than her.

"And then I said, 'Leggo my Eggo.'" Puck finished off his story, and Brittany applauded him.

"You're super badass," she complimented him, and he shrugged as if it was no big deal.

When Puck went away to juvi last year, the whole school feared him. The boys were terrified and the girls were impressed. But Santana? She was disappointed. She didn't encourage his bad behaviour, however he never listened to her when she told him to shape up. After landing himself in Juvi, Puck's been better ever since.

Besides a new attitude, he also came back with a few stories. Personally, Santana thinks they're made up, but she wouldn't dare ruin his good mood. It's rare to see Puck smiling so much these days, and just the thought of breaking up with him in a few hours made Santana guilty enough to let him have his fun.

His fun contained of grabbing her inner thigh and squeezing it under the table.

So he was groping her a little, so what? They've done a lot worse.

The four of them were laughing when the waitress came back and asked them if they needed anything else.

"Just the bill," Puck said, reaching into his pocket to grab his wallet.

Santana instantly felt guilty for making him pay, so she stopped him. "C'mon," she whispered to him so the other couple didn't have to hear her. "You don't have to do that, Puck."

He simple smiled at her before pulling out the appropriate money and paying for the two of them.

Santana rolled her eyes playfully and dropped the subject. The truth was, she had a great time tonight. Puck treated her right, he touched her enough to keep it exciting, but not too much to make it inappropriate, and the food was amazing. It was a great first date, but they weren't going to be having anymore.

Santana doesn't do dating, no matter how great the guy is. She hates dragging boys along only to break their hearts when it doesn't work out in the end.

Because it never works out in the end.

The dinner was paid for, and the 4 teenagers decided to stay for a little longer. "So this was fun," Santana admitted, and she could practically feel Puck smiling beside her.

Brittany and Artie hummed in agreement, and then Brittany's eyes widened. She was looking just over Santana's shoulder, and silently, she pointed.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, confused as to what Brittany was pointing at. She slowly turned around and was met with the two people she didn't expect to bump into.

Her dad and Quinn.

She could not handle this right now. Terrified, she slapped Puck's hand away from her thigh and moved away from him to create some space. If her dad or Quinn - especially Quinn - figured out what was going on between her and Puck, life at home would go from bad to worse.

Santana was freaking out. She sunk further into her seat and hoped the couple wouldn't notice them. After catching herself doodling Quinn's name earlier, Santana has been really on edge about the blonde. Subconsciously, she thought about her.

Hell, consciously she thought about her.

Admittedly, 75% of the time, Quinn was on Santana's mind, and she had no idea why.

"Santana?" A familiar voice called out, and Santana instantly recognized it as her dad.

Panicking, she looked across the table, and the three other teenagers seemed to understand her fear. "Don't tell them that we're on a double date," she whispered quickly to the group, and then turned around the face her dad and his girlfriend. "Papa! Quinn! Hi!" She said, sounding three times more enthusiastic than usual. She got that way when she was nervous.

Santana refused to look Quinn in the eyes, because if she looked into those hazel orbs, she would probably crack under pressure and admit that she was on a date and that five seconds earlier, Puck's hand was up her dress.

That was the kind of information she didn't want to share with her father.

"This is a nice surprise. You didn't tell me you were coming to _this _restaurant," Richard said, leaning down and kissing his daughters cheek.

Santana beamed up at him like a typical good daughter, and nodded. "I didn't think you needed specifics. You didn't tell me you and Quinn were going to _this_ restaurant," she added with a playful smile.

"We didn't think you needed specifics," Quinn butt in, smirking to herself at her comeback.

Santana's eyes looked from Richard's to Quinn's, and she inhaled sharply at the sight of the girl. She looked… beautiful. Quinn was wearing a Jackie Kirby dress with a floral neckline. It was a soft cream colour and flowy, ending around her knee's. Over top of it, she wore a dark green cardigan. Her hair was curled slightly with a white headband, and she looked the prettiest Santana's ever seen her.

She was sort of speechless.

"Why don't you introduce us to your friends, Santana?" Quinn asked, tilting her head innocently at Santana. The Latina growled under her breath.

"Sure," she agreed. "This is my best friend Brittany," Santana said, pointing towards the blonde across from her. She risked a glance at Quinn, and saw the blonde tense at the mention of the girl.

Quinn extended her hand. "So _you're_ the infamous Brittany. I've heard a lot about you, missy." Quinn's usual friendly tone was slightly condescending and rude. Santana felt horrible, so she moved on.

"This is her _boyfriend_ Artie." Santana made a point to mention the fact that Artie was Brittany's boyfriend, because for some reason, she got the feeling that Quinn didn't like Brittany.

The blonde smiled at that, and offered her hand to Artie this time. "Oh, lovely to meet you. You keep Brittany busy, you hear?" She winked playfully and Santana died of embarrassment.

"And this is…" Santana looked over to Puck, unsure what to call him, "my friend, Puck."

Santana mentioned Puck to Quinn when they first met, and Quinn seemed to think that the two of them were dating. So when Santana was caught having dinner with him at a nice restaurant, she knew that the jig was up. It was hard to hide the fact that her and Puck were more than just friends. She looked over at Quinn, and hazel eyes darkened in recognition.

Quinn seemed to have clenched her jaw before offering her hand. "Hmm.. that's funny. I've never heard of _you_ before," Quinn hissed harshly. "Santana's never mentioned you. I guess you must not be all that special."

Santana's eyes widened as her head snapped to the blonde. Richard glared at his girlfriend in shock. "Well.. we should go," he said, needing to separate Quinn from the teenagers. "Santana, be home by 12, alright?"

She nodded and waved.

Finally, the two of them walked off, and an awkward silence filled the table. "Dude, your step mom's hot as shit," Puck said. Clearly, he had no idea what Quinn was trying to hint at, and for that, Santana was grateful. Quinn was lying, anyway.

"She's not my step mom." Santana whispered to herself, and she felt Brittany's foot nudge up against hers under the table.

She looked up and Brittany was smiling sadly. She mouthed, 'I'm sorry', and Santana smiled as a thank you.

* * *

After bumping into her dad and Quinn, the date came to a finish. No one's mood was the same, so they felt no need to pretend like they were still having a good time.

Quinn made everyone feel on edge. Everyone including Santana. She always had that effect on her, and Santana would never know why. She hated that Quinn had so much power over her.

Santana was sitting in Puck's car, parked in front of her house. She smiled over at him, her eyes apologetic. "I had a nice time tonight, Puck," she said honestly.

"I told you, babe. I can make you happy if you give Puckzilla a shot."

Santana bowed her head and chuckled softly. "You had to go and ruin the moment, didn't you?" She asked playfully, looking up at him.

He chuckled as well. "C'mere," he whispered sensually, leaning towards her.

Santana blinked quickly and looked down at his lips. They did look pretty kissable, she had to admit. But if she kissed him tonight, it would only be leading him on.

Closer.

Closer.

He leaned in so close that their noses were touching, but their lips were still disconnected.

"Puck, wait," Santana whispered, then pulled back.

He sighed, clearly frustrated before leaning back.

"I can't do this," she admitted. "If I kissed you, then I would just be leading you on. The truth is, you're a great guy, and we have some serious chemistry, but I will never have romantic feelings towards you. Don't take it personally. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever have romantic feelings towards _anyone. _I'm just wired that way." Santana shrugged sadly. "I can't help it."

Puck nodded in understanding. "I get it," he admitted. "It was a long shot when I asked you out. I'm actually surprised you agreed to it in the first place. But I'm glad you did, because now I know. I'll never have to wonder."

Santana smiled, thrilled that he was handling it with such grace. "I'm really sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. We'll still have sex, so it's not that big of a deal."

Her face dropped at that. "Puck, I don't think we should be involved anymore. At all."

"What? Why?"

"I refuse to lead you on. I can't have sex with you if deep down, you want more. I won't do that to you," she said.

Puck said heavily. "Santana, I can control my feelings. Getting rejected is all it takes for me to get over you," he said like the true badass he was.

Santana couldn't help but smile softly. "You're probably right, but I don't want to risk it. I don't believe in love, but I won't bring you down with me. Underneath the cussing and the dirty talk is a really sweet guy. You're going to find someone Puck, and I won't stand in the way of that."

Silence filled the car, and they both knew that Santana was right. She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek.

"So this is it? We're never going to see each other again?"

She giggled softly. "Don't be silly. We can still be friends. In fact, I'm counting on that. Believe it or not, you mean a lot to me, and I'm not gonna let you go that easily."

They shared a smile, and Santana eventually got out of the car.

"Hey, San?" He called just before Santana walked inside.

She turned around and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You're not wired that way. You're not hopeless. I know you don't believe in love right now, but one day, you're going to find that person that makes your heart race, and nothing else will matter. I just hope he treats you right."

Santana smiled through watery trees. "Thank you, Puckerman," she whispered before walking inside.

* * *

When she got home, Richard and Quinn were still out, so Santana went upstairs and changed into her pyjamas.

She got out of the dress, threw her hair into a messy bun, and threw on a large T shirt. Santana went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth.

It was about 11 o'clock, and she was tired. A part of her wanted to stay up and wait until her dad got home, but another part of her wanted to sleep and wake up when it was the weekend. That was always such a good feeling.

So, she got into bed, and hummed comfortably. She thought about going straight to bed. It would be so easy. She would just have to reach over, turn off the lamp, and shut her eyes. It didn't take any energy. But she couldn't do it. Her eyes were locked on her phone, and curiosity got the best of her.

She reached over and grabbed her cell phone. Just like every night, she called her mother.

Nervously, she brought the phone to her ear and waited patiently. Santana was aware that it was going to go to voicemail just like every time, but she couldn't sleep unless she knew for sure.

Every night she _had_ to call her, or she would have nightmares.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Santana was ready to hang up, because if she heard the voicemail message one more time, she would probably cry herself to sleep.

Her thumb hovered over the red button, before -

"Hello?"

Santana's eyes widened in shock and she froze.

Her mom picked up the phone.

**Her mom picked up. **

**_Her mom._**

Santana felt like she was going to faint. She hasn't heard the woman's voice in 4 years, and she forgot how much she missed it. It was always so raspy, a sign from smoking, but so inviting. Santana's heart broke, because all she wanted to do was say something. She wanted to tell the woman that it was her daughter, that she missed her, and how much she hated her for leaving their family to rot.

Santana wanted to yell her little heart out. She wanted to cry and say everything she's waited years to say. And now was her chance.

"Hello?" Maria repeated impatiently.

Santana inhaled sharply, and she knew that Maria heard her.

The woman groaned. "If this is a prank call, I'm not laughing. Don't call here again."

And just like that, the line ended.

The Latina's phone fell weakly out of her hand and she sobbed into her pillow. Her mother spoke to her without even realizing who was on the other end of the line. Her mother was alive. Her mother was okay.

Santana couldn't believe it.

In a mix of tears and angry screaming, Santana fell asleep.

* * *

"Santana!" A voice called, waking Santana up from her sleep.

Tiredly, her eyes fluttered open, and she looked over at the clock. It was almost 1:30 am. She yawned and groaned, sitting up in her bed. Why the hell was she woken up? And who the hell woke her up?

"Santana!" The voice called again, and Santana recognized it as her dad.

Worried that something horrible happened, she jumped out of bed and quickly found shorts to throw on over top of her panties. She rushed downstairs and stopped when she saw Quinn and Richard standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

"What?" She panted. "What's wrong?"

Quinn giggled and looked at Richard. "Tell her," she whispered.

"No you tell her," he whispered back, and Santana wanted to vomit from how much of a couple they were acting like.

"Someone tell me before I go back to bed," she growled, annoyed.

Santana crossed her arms over her chest and waited impatiently.

"I'm moving in!"

* * *

**Duh duh DUUUHHH**

**Review :) **


	8. You Mean More To Me Than Anybody

**CHAPTER 8**

**91 reviews in 7 chapters? That's unbelievable! Thank you guys so much for all the support and kind words. **

**All is ask is for you guys to be patient with me. I have a pretty good idea of where I want this fix to go, and I'm very excited for you guys to read it. **

**Yay for the longest chapter yet!**

* * *

Santana stood there with wide eyes and an open jaw. There's no way she could have heard right. Quinn couldn't possibly be moving in. Not without Santana's permission.

But as the words left that gorgeous mouth, Santana inhaled sharply. She felt her heart break in her chest because for the first time in 4 years, her father made a decision without consulting his daughter. He used to always ask Santana for advice, or tell her everything he was thinking. He used to be so open with her, but now that Quinn is in the picture, he forgot to include his daughter.

Santana felt like a third wheel, and the thought was making her nauseous. For the rest of her life, she would be a third wheel to Quinn and Richard.

She felt so betrayed by him.

"I'm sorry, what?" She snapped, looking into her fathers eyes, with hurt in her own.

His smile deflated at her reaction. "She's moving in," he repeated, with less excitement in his voice, and more hesitation.

Quinn looked to the floor, clearly uncomfortable with the reaction they got.

"Papa… You didn't want to ask me first? This is my house too!"

The couple tensed at Santana's words. "I didn't think you would have a problem with it. Quinn said the two of you have been getting along great," he defended, placing a hand on Quinn's lower back.

Santana looked over to the blonde with wide, tear filled eyes. Quinn said that? They spent one morning having a somewhat civil conversation, and suddenly they were 'getting along great?' It was a fucking lie! Santana still hated the girl, underneath her soft smiles and civil words. Quinn was not welcome here. "Well Quinn is a fucking liar and doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut!" Santana snapped.

The second the words left her mouth, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

She did _not_ just say that.

In that moment, the entire room froze, and all Santana could hear was her own heart beating. It was beating too fast, and she was beginning to fear for her life.

Richard and Quinn gasped as well, and Quinn almost looked like she had tears in her eyes.

"Santana!" Richard shouted, disappointed written all over his face. "You go upstairs, young lady. I'll speak to you in the morning."

The brunette felt a cold tear slide down her cheek, and she was absolutely devastated. This wasn't the man she loved with all of her heart. This wasn't the man that raised her when their mother walked out on them. This was a stranger who didn't care about her feelings. "What happened to you?" Santana whispered, her voice broken and somewhat accusing.

Richard stood there like a statue. He didn't reveal any sort of emotion. His hand stayed place on Quinn's lower back, defending his woman.

"S-Santana.." Quinn whispered.

Santana's eyes shot to hazel ones, and for the first time, she realized that Quinn was crying.

But why?

Did the blonde truly believe that they were getting along? Was she dumb enough to think that Santana actually _liked_ her? She was her dads girlfriend, of course she would never like her.

Santana sighed sadly and eyed the blonde with a somewhat apologetic expression. Truthfully, this wasn't personal.

Quinn was a very nice woman, and under any other circumstances, Santana was sure that she would like her. But unfortunately, the circumstances were horrible, and Santana found it difficult to be nice to the woman.

"Go to your room," Richard repeated in a stone cold expression and stern voice.

She looked away from Quinn, and back to her dad. She licked her lips, nodded weakly, and then ran upstairs.

Slamming her door, Santana threw herself on her bed and cried her heart out. Lately, Santana felt like she's been doing a lot of crying, and she absolutely hated it.

All her life, Santana believed that Richard was the only person who would never hurt her. Who would never betray her. Who would love her unconditionally. But lately, he hasn't been that man. He's changed, and Santana's terrified that he'll become just another person who disappoints her.

Santana was so confused.

She hated Quinn for sneaking her way into their perfect life, and ruining everything. Before her, Santana and her dad were perfectly happy. They were fine being alone. But now, Richard is staying out late, making decisions without talking to Santana, and turning on his own daughter.

So yes, she hated Quinn for stealing her father. But on another level, she didn't hate the blonde. Quinn's past with Lucy was so touching that it made the blonde seem like a real person. With a real heart. Deep down her mysterious smirk and somewhat flirty comments was a fragile girl named Lucy. And Lucy was insecure, and every once and a while, she would seep through the cracks. Sometimes, Santana didn't know who she was talking to: Quinn or Lucy.

Earlier, when Quinn whispered her name, Santana was almost positive that that was Lucy talking to her.

Just as much as Richard betrayed Santana, Santana betrayed Lucy.

Maybe Quinn really believed that her and Santana were friends.

With that thought in her mind, and the echo of her mothers 'Hello', Santana cried herself to sleep for the second time that night.

* * *

It was the weekend. Usually Santana was happy about that, but not today. Nope.

Because today was officially the first day that Quinn Fabray was living in her house.

Today, it was real. Last night Santana allowed herself to pretend that it was some horrible nightmare. But now, she had to face the facts.

Her eyes fluttered open, and the familiar smell of eggs and bacon filled her nostrils, and she instantly recognized the scent as Quinn's breakfast. She was downstairs, and she was probably wearing her trampish post-fucking wardrobe again.

It was decided: Santana Lopez was going to hide in her room all day. She wanted to pretend for just a few more hours.

Surprisingly, she did a good job at keeping herself distracted from what was going on downstairs. Santana could picture it. Quinn was in front of the stove, slaying over breakfast. Richard would be sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a newspaper, and commenting on what stocks are up and what stocks are down. They would laugh over stupid things, and not once would they notice that Santana was upstairs, blocking herself away from the perfect little family.

They weren't a perfect family.

Not anymore.

Santana busied herself with homework, reading, and skyping with Brittany.

"I just can't believe she's moved in. I met her a week ago, Britt!" Santana complained, groaning.

The blonde nodded on the other side of the webcam. "I know, San. It sucks. But he has been dating her for a while, and for them, they're ready to take this big step. It just sucks that he didn't ask you first."

"It's not even that! I mean, I wish he told me, but it was the _way_ they told me. It was the fact that _she_ told me, with her stupid fucking smile," Santana hissed, feeling herself get worked up.

Brittany bit on her lip and she looked uncomfortable with Santana's rant. "You need to talk to your dad about how your feeling. Otherwise, this will be miserable for you. Almost as miserable as I was when I found out Lord Tubbington joined a gang."

Santana fell into a fit of giggles. That's why she loved Brittany so much. Because she gave great advice, and because she was always able to make Santana feel better. She was in a horrible mood, yet Brittany managed to give her the perfect distraction.

"I love you, Britt," Santana said honestly with sad eyes.

Brittany nodded. "I love you too, Lopez. Now go talk to him."

Santana nodded as well. She knew that Brittany was right. "Yeah, okay-"

She was cut off by the sound of someone knocking on her door. Worry filled her eyes at the thought of Quinn visiting her.

"Is it her?" Brittany asked in a loud whisper. She seemed to think that when she whispered like that, no one could hear it. But it was quite the opposite actually.

"I have to go, Britt. I'll call you after." And just like that, Santana closed her laptop. She jumped from the bed and slowly opened her bedroom door. The Latina breathed in relief at the sight of her dad instead of Quinn.

Brittany was right, they needed to have an honest conversation. It was going to hurt like hell, and Santana would probably cry, but she needed to get everything out. For some reason, Richard Lopez seemed to think that his daughter was so strong. But she wasn't. Santana pretended to be strong and tough, but on the inside, she was that same 12 year old girl who sobbed her little heart out when her mom ran off. She was the same 12 year old girl that had to nurse her father back to sobriety. She hasn't grown up yet, because she never got the closure she needed.

Now was her chance.

He smiled hesitantly at her. "May I come in?"

Santana nodded mutely and stepped aside, opening the door wider for him. The man walked inside, and together, they sat on the edge of her bed.

"You really disappointed me last night, Santana," he said, but his voice was calming.

Disappointed.

That's the worst word in the entire world. When parents tell their kids 'I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed,' it's such a horrible feeling. Richard being disappointed in her made Santana's eyes well up in tears. She never wanted to disappoint him.

She sighed, and reminded herself that she was going to speak her mind. Santana wasn't a little girl anymore, and she had feelings too. So, she said, "that's funny. You really disappointed me, too."

Her voice wasn't harsh, but it wasn't friendly either.

Richard turned to look at her, slight shock in his eyes. "Excuse me?" He asked in disbelief.

"Papa… I love you. You're my best friend, and we've been through hell and back together. I understand that you love Quinn, and I'm happy for you, I really am. But the fact that you never asked me if it was okay for her to move in really hurt my feelings."

His eyes softened. "San.." he whispered.

"I understand that you don't need my permission, but this is my house, too. This affects my life, Papa. Quinn moving in is a _huge_ change, and a heads up would have been nice," Santana said calmly, happy with herself for being so mature about this.

Richard nodded. "I messed up," he admitted, resting a hand on Santana's knee. "We were at Breadstix, we saw you with all of your friends, and it all just clicked. I realized that I didn't want to waste anymore time. Who knows what could happen today? Tomorrow? Life is unpredictable, and it's scary, and it could all be gone in a second. I want to enjoy my girls as much as I can now before it's too late."

The Latina licked her lips as she listened to him, and she nodded slowly. "Losing mom was tragic," she said. "But we're better people for it. We understand what betrayal feels like, and we have hearts of gold. But Quinn isn't going anywhere, Papa!" Santana said, slightly annoyed. "She's young, and she is insanely in love with you. I just don't understand why she has to move in _now._ It's so soon!"

"No it's not."

Santana laughed at that. "Papa.. I met her a week ago today. She's been in my life for 7 days. Ever since mom left, it took me a lot longer than 7 days to allow myself to trust people. I'm uncomfortable with strangers barging into my life and messing up the system. It's too soon."

Richard sighed and squeezed Santana's knee. "Our system wasn't healthy, sweetie," he said softly. "We ignored what happened to us. We ignored my drinking, and we ignored the fact that we were both so heart broken by your mother leaving. That was our system: we ignored what happened to us. I don't want to do that anymore. Quinn isn't messing up the system, she's just… helping us make a new system."

Santana felt her eyes well up with tears, and her bottom lip quickly quivered. Weakly, she collapsed into his body. Santana buried her face in his neck and she sobbed. She sobbed desperately and fiercely. She cried until she ran out of tears. And the whole time, he rubbed her back up and down.

It felt so good to be comforted.

"I just miss h-h-her so m-much," Santana whimpered into his neck.

She felt something wet land on her head, and without looking, Santana knew that it was her fathers tear. He was crying, too.

"I miss her, too, angel. Even if I've moved on, and I'm rushing into another relationship, that doesn't mean that I don't miss her. She was my first love. You never forget your first love."

Santana shook at that. She hated the fact that they both missed Maria. She was horrible and she was selfish, but the two of them were still so broken by her absence. She left them alone, and without a single clue of how to continue on.

But they made it. They managed.

Santana made sure she was out of tears before she pulled back and sat up straight. Embarrassed, she hid her face as she wiped her tears. Her chin was lifted by her dads index finger. "Hey," he said softly. "Talk to me. I need to know why you don't like Quinn."

And just like that, the tears started again.

Santana just wanted to stop crying.

"P-Papa, she's n-not right for you," she said, her voice broken and cracking in certain parts.

His finger left her chin and he sighed, clearly upset by her words. "You just don't know her, yet. Now that she's living here, you're going to see a new side to her, and you're going to love that side almost as much as I do."

Santana shook her head, not willing to back down. "I just want you to be happy, a-and I don't think she has the power to make that happen."

Richard's eyes softened and he looked down, slightly taken aback by her words. "I am happy, angel."

Santana cried, desperately shaking her head. She didn't want to see her father go down this path and end up miserable. "P-P-Please.. Papa, you have to listen t-to me," she begged.

He looked confused by her breakdown, so he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "What's wrong, sweetie? Why are you getting so upset?

She shut her eyes and sobbed uncontrollably. "Y-You can't d-d-drink again!" She raised her voice slightly. "Promise me! No m-matter what happens, you can't go b-b-back to that person, okay? He scared me."

His grip on her arm tightened, and his exhale was shaky. "Oh, honey," he cried, and kissed the top of her head. "I haven't had a drink in 3 and a half years. I will never go back to that, okay? I'm a better person. You and Quinn have made me a better person."

Santana nodded against him, wiping her tears sadly. For now, she would choose to believe him. She just hoped that Quinn didn't break his heart into a million pieces.

"Okay," she whispered, pulling away and wiping her tears again.

Richard sighed heavily. "I don't think I ever got to apologize for the man I became when your mother left," he started. "Santana, I am… _so_ sorry. You were so young, and you shouldn't have had to deal with that. I was a mess and I was out of control. I regret how dark I got, and I regret that I hurt you. She didn't just leave me, she left you too. But you didn't have time to grieve, because you were too busy taking care of me. And for that, I deeply apologize." He cupped her cheek and caressed her skin softly. "I will make it up to you, I promise."

Santana melted into his touch and nodded slowly. "I forgave you a long time ago," she said honestly.

He smiled at that. "Good." With that, Richard stood up and walked towards the door.

"Papa, wait!" Santana called. She needed her dad to hear this.

He stopped at the door and turned to face her with open, curious eyes.

"I.." Santana started, and she looked down. "I still call her every night."

Richard sighed heavily and offered her a weak smile. "When are you going to stop that, honey?"

Santana shook her head. "She picked up."

Suddenly, ever muscle in his face relaxed and he looked completely shocked. "What?" He whispered.

"Last night.. before you and Quinn told me the news… Mama picked up."

Richard looked down and bit on his lip. He grabbed the door handle, and twisted it open. "When you're ready, come downstairs. Quinn made us breakfast."

And with that, he left.

Santana sat there with wide, teary eyes.

* * *

Breakfast was horrible and awkward.

Everyone was on edge.

Richard, because he just remembered that Maria was still out there. Somewhere in the world, she was alive. She wasn't here by choice. Maria didn't get taken from her family, she willingly left. And all those years, Richard like to pretend that when Maria left, she stopped existing. But today, he was reminded of the truth.

Quinn, because she knew that Santana didn't want her here. The brunette made that rather clear by her reaction the other nice. Quinn wasn't welcomed here, so the first breakfast as a family was tense and awkward.

Santana, because there was a third presence in the room that she didn't approve of. Quinn was a nice person, but not for her dad. Not for this family. She didn't want her here, and she wasn't going to pretend like she did.

The second she finished her eggs, Santana asked to be excused, and she rushed to her room.

As promised, she called Brittany.

"Go for Britt," she said the second she picked up.

And just like that, Santana giggled. Everything was alright in the world. "Can you come over?" Santana asked, biting on her lip.

She had an idea. It was slightly evil, and maybe a little bizarre, but it was the only way to get back at Quinn.

Quinn has ruined her life with her blonde hair, amazing body, and hypnotizing smirk. Santana needed to get back at her and give her a taste of her own medicine. And Brittany was the only way.

Brittany was Quinn's weakness, and that was leverage.

"Uhm, sure. Why?"

"I need a favour."

* * *

"So let me get this straight, you want me to spend the next few hours here… pretending to be your girlfriend?" Brittany echoed.

Hearing the words repeated back to her, made the whole situation sounded stupid. And Santana almost changed her mind on the whole thing.

Almost.

Santana only knew three things for sure.

1. Quinn likes to get under her skin by making somewhat flirty comments.

2. Quinn's real name is Lucy, and that's a part of her that only comes through when she's insecure and upset.

3. Quinn weak point is Brittany.

For some reason, the blonde always tenses at the mention of Santana's best friend. But the Latina has no idea why. Was Quinn jealous because of the friendship they had? Was she jealous because Santana told Brittany everything, and she told Quinn nothing? Or was she just simply against anyone with the name Brittany?

There were so many possibilities, but Santana hoped that with this little trick, she would find the real reason.

She chuckled softly on the bed and nodded. "It sounds dumb, but I just need answers. Quinn always acts so weird whenever you're mentioned, and I need to find out why."

"She gets weird?" Brittany asked.

Santana nodded, and that caused the blonde to giggle. "Why?"

The brunette shrugged.

"She's totally jealous," Brittany guessed.

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, and then shook her head. That was definitely not a possibility. If she was jealous, it had nothing to do with sexual or romantic urges. Strictly platonic. "So will you do it?" She asked the blonde, desperately. "You're my best friend, and I really need your help."

Brittany chewed on her bottom lip and looked down briefly. "Can we use code names, again?" She asked, acting like a puppy. It was sort of cute.

Santana chuckled softly. "Sure. You can be Baby, and I can Honey, alright?"

Blue eyes widened in realization, and she nodded slowly. "Let the games begin, Honey."

The Latina laughed softly as she stood up from her bed. She awkwardly grabbed Brittany's hand, and winced. "This is so weird," she whispered.

Brittany nodded. "I know," she agreed, and they laughed together.

Hand in hand, the two best friends walked down the stairs. About 30 minutes ago, Richard left to have lunch with a few friends. Quinn was still home, and last Santana heard, she was watching a movie in the living room.

The kitchen and living room were connected, so Quinn could easily hear anything that was said if they were standing in the kitchen.

As innocently as possible, the two girls walked into the kitchen. Santana had to make this convincing. This would be the only way that she would finally understand something about Quinn. She needed to know why the blonde was so sensitive when it came to Brittany.

"Are you hungry?" Santana asked Brittany. Her voice was loud enough for Quinn to hear, but quiet enough to seem realistic.

Brittany giggled and nodded. "I'm always hungry. You know that," she said, and flirtatiously, she bopped Santana's nose.

Without looking, Santana could practically _feel _Quinn's eyes burning into the back of her head. Good, it was working.

Now that she was looking, Santana grabbed Brittany's hips, and lifted her up onto the counter. "Sit there, I'll make you something."

Brittany smiled and sat on the counter. For a few seconds, she innocently swung her legs back and forth and bit on her lip.

Santana was looking for something to make for the blonde, but she was pulled out of her thoughts when Brittany said, "you know, I think I'm hungry for something else."

Her eyes widened to herself, because that was pretty clever. Two firm hands grabbed Santana's shoulders, and the next thing the girl knew, she was standing in between of Brittany's spread legs.

Brown eyes mixed with blue, and they were both struggling to keep their laughter in.

"Mmm, you're sexy when you're horny," Santana said, and bit on her lip.

To make this convincing as possible, they came up with a rough script as to what to say. They had an idea of what message they were trying to get across, and as long as they did it convincingly, this was bound to work. "I wish we didn't have to sneak around. It's not fair to Artie."

Santana scoffed and dropped her head. "Artie is just a stupid boy. So is Puck. Come on, baby, we both know that Artie doesn't make you feel as good as I do," Santana practically growled, and cupped Brittany's cheek.

"It just sucks. I want to be with you exclusively."

Santana nodded in understanding. "I do, too, but it's not a good time right now. My dad is so caught up in his new romance that I can't even focus on mine."

Quinn cleared her throat from the other side of the room, and Santana smirked to herself. Her back was to Quinn, so she could smile as wide as she wanted to.

It worked.

Hook, line and sinker.

"Oh, Quinn! I didn't hear you." She said, and pretending to be embarrassed that she was caught in the act, Santana backed away.

She wanted to give Quinn the impression that she and Brittany were sneaking around, and that it needed to be kept a secret. Maybe if Quinn thought there was something going on between the two of them, then her real feelings would come spilling out.

Brittany spread her legs and looked just as embarrassed as Santana did.

Slowly, Quinn stood up from the couch and walked over to them. She crossed her arms and tilted her head. She did not look impressed at all. "Well, what do we have here?" She spat.

Santana pretended to flinch. "Nothing."

Brittany nodded in agreement.

Quinn chuckled, clearly amused by the denial. "That's not what it looked like."

"No?" Santana asked, slight mockery in her voice.

Hazel eyes snapped to hers, and anger flashed over her face. "Santana, say goodbye to Brittany. She has to leave."

Santana scoffed at that. "No she doesn't."

"Yes she does," Quinn snapped harshly.

Brittany jumped down from the counter and slowly approached the pair in the middle of a heated argument. "It's okay, San, I'll go."

Santana looked from Quinn to Brittany, and she said, "no, she can't kick you out. She's not my mother."

"It's okay," Brittany whispered to Santana, still playing the role of her girlfriend. "I'll call you when I get home, okay?"

And suddenly, very slowly, Brittany leaned in. Santana's eyes fluttered shut, and their lips connected in a slow sensual kiss. The kiss only lasted for about 3 seconds before Brittany was practically ripped out of her grip. Santana's eyes widened in fear and she saw Quinn pushed Brittany away and pin her against the counter.

"Don't you fucking touch her," Quinn hissed.

"Quinn!" Santana shouted, genuinely worried that the blonde would do something to her best friend.

But the woman simply ignored her.

"Ms. Fabray, I had no intention of-" Brittany was cut off by Quinn's words.

"She's mine, you hear me? Mine!"

Silence filled the kitchen. Santana stood there, wide eyed. She gasped at Quinn's words, and suddenly, her whole body went numb. Did she imagine that? Did Quinn really just say that?

_Mine. _It was such a possessive word, and any other time, Santana would have been turned on by the action of being claimed. Possessive people are a huge turn on for Santana, but right now, she was too busy being completely shocked to even pay attention to her arousal.

Later she would discover that her panties were stained from arousal, but at the moment, she was blinded by the truth.

There it was.

Brittany shrunk under Quinn's words, and her blue eyes found Santana's eyes. Nervously, Brittany nodded, and then pushed her way out of Quinn's hold. Without another word, Brittany left and shut the door behind her.

Santana was snapped out of her thoughts when the door shut. When she and Quinn were left alone, she walked over to the blonde and roughly pushed her away. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Santana shouted, seeing red from her anger.

"What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with you? I told you that I didn't want you touching her! I fucking warned you, Santana. And then you have the nerve to bring her in here and rub her in my face? Are you trying to drive me insane?" Quinn was shouting at first, but near the end, her voice got quieter and more desperate.

They stood there, facing each other, and they were both panting from the anger. "I'm not with Brittany, okay? So calm the fuck down and stop being so protective over me."

"You're not with Brittany?" She asked, and laughed loudly in disbelief. "Right, because that scene I just walked in was totally platonic. I am not blind, Santana."

The Latina shook her head in aggravation. "That was an act, okay? I knew that you hated Brittany, and I wanted to make you feel like shit, so I called her over, and asked her to do me a favour. We were just pretending to get under your skin."

Quinn calmed down a little bit, and her breathing eventually steadied. However she didn't look too happy. If anything, she looked even more upset. "It didn't work."

Santana threw her head back and laughed at that. "Are you insane? You just claimed me, Quinn! You marked your fucking territory. You screamed at her, so don't pretend like it didn't work." The Latina licked her lips and shook her head. "I am _not_ yours to claim, alright?"

The blonde snarled at that. "For now," she mumbled, and Santana furrowed her eyebrows.

"Excuse me?" Santana asked.

Quinn ignored her, though. She didn't repeat herself, but instead, she said, "I don't want Brittany in this house anymore, okay? If I see her here again, I'll tell your father that his precious little angel lost her virginity to your friend Puck. I'm sure he'd have a field day with that."

"You are not my mother!" Santana shouted, tears in her eyes. "Stop pretending to be my mom! You'll never be her, and you're not my girlfriend either, so stop being so fucking jealous!"

"Well, I could be!" Quinn shouted, and Santana was once again silenced by her shock.

That was the second time Quinn has said something that led Santana to silence. "You could be what? My mom? Or my girlfriend?" She asked, needing clarification.

Quinn was frozen as well, slightly taken back by the up front question. "I… forget it. Don't bring her back here, again."

With that, Quinn turned her back and stormed back upstairs. The sound of the master bedroom door slamming made Santana flinch for real.

What just happened?

* * *

_Suddenly, the 12 year old bumped into someone. Santana didn't even look up to see who she was, she just wrapped her arms around her waist and sobbed desperately into the persons stomach. "Mama…" Santana cried, though she knew the woman she was hugging wasn't her mom. She knew that because she didn't hug her the way Maria used to hug her. _

_"Shh…" The soothing voice of the woman said, rubbing Santana's back up and down. _

_Santana didn't know how long she cried there. But eventually, she ran out of tears. Physically, she couldn't cry anymore. Santana whimpered under her breath, wiping her tears as she pulled away and looked up at the woman. _

_Hovering over her was a woman with long blonde hair. She was smiling sadly at little Santana, and she tapped her nose playfully. "Don't cry. It'll be okay," the woman said in a voice that gave Santana hope. _

_But then the Latina remembered that her mom was gone and her dad was passed out in the kitchen. She shook her head as more tears filled her eyes. "No it won't," she disagreed, slowly backing away from the stranger._

_The woman took a step towards her. "Honey, which hours is yours? I need to bring you back to your owner, or I'm going to get a very nasty letter in the mail," she tried joking with a playful smile on her face. _

_Santana's bottom lip quivered and insecurely, she twiddled her thumbs. "The red bricks with the white fence," Santana said, pointing towards her house. _

_The blonde looked up and nodded softly with a smile. "I always wondered who lived there. It's such a beautiful house. Come on, lets get you home." She walked towards Santana, and placed a careful hand on her lower back, and walked her down the sidewalk. _

_Santana felt like a part of herself was missing. Her heart was broken, and she could hardly breathe. However, the hand on her lower back was comforting, and it definitely kept her from having a panic attack. _

_They walked for only 2 minutes, and eventually, they were standing outside of Santana's house. _

_"I don't wanna go in," Santana said weakly, looking scared. _

_The woman smiled sweetly. She cupped Santana's cheek and caressed her skin. "You're brave. You can face whatever is in there, I know you can."_

_Slowly, a small smile spread on Santana's face. "Can I take you with me? You can live in here with me!"_

_The blonde smiled and chuckled softly. "That's a very tempting offer, honey, but I have a life of my own."_

_"But I need a new Mama.." Santana whimpered, her eyes filling with tears again. _

_The woman sighed and bent over slightly so she could talk to the Latina. "It'll be okay," she repeated, nodding, very sure of herself. "Besides, I'm sure I'll see you around. Be strong for me, okay?"_

_Santana nodded eagerly at her words. "I will. Thank you…?" She said, and waiting to hear the woman's name. _

_"Quinn," she supplied with a content smile._

* * *

Santana woke up gasping and panting. Her eyes widened at the memory.

"Oh my god.." She whispered to herself.

* * *

**I've had that idea in my head for a while now, so I'm very happy I can finally write it down for you guys. **

**Review!**


	9. Wanting More But Never Enough

**CHAPTER 9**

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**These chapters just keep getting longer and longer, don't they? I updated a day earlier because a bunch of you guys wanted to know what happened next! Hope I didn't disappoint.**

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* * *

"Oh my god.." She whispered to herself.

Santana couldn't believe it. No. No, there was no way that was true.

This was too much information to take in at 1:30 in the morning. But she had to face the facts.

If her dream was anything to go by, she had met Quinn before. Not only that, but Quinn had encouraged her to face her parents' divorce with a brave face. Quinn saved her all those years ago.

That's a hard thing to face, especially after the way she and Quinn have been getting along recently.

So far, Santana has felt nothing but hatred towards the beautiful blonde, and although she didn't think it was even possible, she hated her even more. After her dream, it was as if the spark to her rage was lit, and now there was no holding her back.

Santana Lopez hated Quinn Fabray, and that was that.

The blonde has been lying to her family this entire time, and that is unforgivable.

There was so much she wanted to say, so much she needed to ask, and so many questions she needed answers to, but that could all wait until tomorrow.

Santana needed her rest because tomorrow she was going to confront the blonde.

* * *

The sound of her alarm clock was always annoying. Especially on a weekend. So when the noise filled her ears, Santana tiredly reached over and slammed the button, effectively silencing the machine. Her room turned silent, and suddenly, it was even louder than it was before.

Because now, she was left alone with her thoughts, and all she could think about was the dream she had last night.

Quinn was her knight in shining armour.

Quinn was the woman Santana spoke about for months.

This changed everything.

Santana felt like her heart had been ripped out, and all she wanted to do was stay in bed and cry all day, but she couldn't. She had to be strong, and she had to stand up for her dad.

Richard would never realize the manipulative liar he was dating, so Santana had to make him open his eyes and see it for himself.

She would force him to see Quinn in a new light if it came to that.

Thankfully, her father worked on Sundays, so she and Quinn had the house to themselves. That would definitely give them a chance to talk about this.

She tiredly got out of her bed and rubbed her eyes. Santana stood up and lazily put on some sweats over her panties. There was no way she was going to let Quinn see more of her skin than what was deemed appropriate. Santana has already seen more than enough of Quinn's body, she wouldn't feel comfortable if the roles were reversed. So now, she was wearing dark green sweats and a baggy grey top. Throwing her hair into a high bun, she walked to her bathroom and brushed her teeth.

Once she was presentable, she headed downstairs and towards the kitchen. It didn't smell like eggs and bacon this time, so Santana figured that Quinn chose not to make her breakfast. It was probably for the best considering she didn't have much of an appetite.

Santana peeked her head into the kitchen and when she saw the coast was clear, she walked inside. She heard muffled sounds of the TV, and she knew that Quinn was in the living room.

She needed to be brave and just come right out and say it. Like ripping off a bandaid.

"It was you." Santana's voice left no room for argument. She was standing behind the couch, so Quinn wasn't able to see her.

Slowly, the blonde turned around and quirked a confused, yet slightly amused eyebrow at her. "I'm sorry?" the blonde had the nerve to say as she smirked. Santana wanted to slap that stupid smirk right off her pretty little face.

"Don't play dumb with me Lucy Quinn Fabray, I know it was you, alright? I remember!"

Quinn chuckled nervously and slowly stood up from the couch. "Alright, no need to scream my full name for the neighbours to hear. Care to calm the fuck down and explain yourself?"

Santana scoffed, pissed off that Quinn even had the nerve to pretend like Santana was out of line. "4 years ago! When my Mama left us…" She started, hoping she didn't need to finish the story.

The Latina saw hazel eyes flash in recognition, and Quinn nodded slowly. That was all the confirmation she needed.

Santana felt like she was going to be sick.

It was one thing to _believe_ that Quinn was her mystery woman, and it was another to have it confirmed. Santana wasn't crazy. She wasn't imagining it.

"I didn't think you would remember," Quinn started.

"Don't you dare.." Santana started, pointing a finger towards the girl. She walked around the couch and stormed towards her, pointing a rough finger into her chest. "You have f-five seconds to explain y-yourself!" Santana felt her eyes well up in tears, and she hated herself for getting so emotional. She didn't want to be so upset. Santana hated how sensitive she was sometimes. She hated how weak she was when it came to Quinn.

Quinn's eyes softened and she slowly reached up, grabbed Santana's wrist, and pulled the girls hand away from her chest. "Don't cry, honey.." Quinn's voice was so soft and it almost seemed like she cared. For a split second, Santana forgot how much she hated her. The Latina shut her eyes, exhaled deeply, and felt herself calm down at the sound of Quinn's melodic voice.

For just a _moment_ Santana forgot about everything.

But then she remembered, and her eyes fluttered open. Standing across from her wasn't her mother, but rather Quinn. Lying, cheating, manipulative Quinn.

"Five," Santana began counting down. Her bottom lip was quivering from her emotions. This was all too much to handle, and she couldn't look into those hazel eyes without seeing the sweet woman that cared for her so deeply 4 years ago. It was hard to believe that that woman was the same woman looking at her now. "Four."

Quinn nodded frantically. She looked panicked, almost as if she was in a rush. "Santana.." She started, and shut her eyes nervously. "I know this looks bad," she started, "but when I started dating your father, I had no idea that you were related to him."

Santana crossed her arms and waited patiently. She refused to speak until Quinn finished her story.

"4 years ago, when I met you, I thought you were a beautiful girl who was going through a tough time. I felt so horrible for you and all I wanted to do was help. But after that, I never saw you again, so I sort of just… forgot." Quinn licked her lips. "And then I met your father. I swear to you that my intentions were nothing but honest. I genuinely loved him for him. I didn't have any ulterior motives or secret plans. I didn't even know that he _had_ a daughter, much less an ex wife."

Santana's face softened at that. She scratched the back of her head.

"Eventually he told me that he was divorced with a daughter, but I still didn't put it together. It wasn't until I met you at that restaurant when I recognized you."

The Latina licked her lips. She was about to start talking, but Quinn interrupted her.

The blonde sighed. "Well, that's not true, actually. I first recognized you at the coffee shop. That's why I was staring at you. I remembered who you were and all I wanted to do was walk over there and hug you. I wanted to ask you so many questions and I wanted to make sure that you were happy, but you were smiling with Brittany, so I didn't want to mess that up." Quinn met Santana's eyes, and she looked at her desperately. "But Santana, I promise you, my feelings for your dad are nothing but genuine."

Santana let out a weak laugh. "I find that hard to believe."

"Why?"

"Do you blame me? You've been fucking sketchy ever since I met you, and now I find out that you were there the day my Mama left? I can't help but be a little suspicious about your motives," Santana reasoned.

Quinn sighed, clearly getting annoyed. She reached out and grabbed Santana's hands. "What is it going to take to gain your trust, huh?"

Santana sighed, and looked down at their adjoined hands. She didn't hold Quinn's hand back, but she didn't let go of her either. "I'm really confused right now, Quinn."

"Why?" Quinn whispered so softly that Santana felt like crying again.

She looked down, embarrassed. "W-When I was little, I idolized you. You were my hero. Quinn, you helped me get out of a really dark place, and you gave me hope for a future. But looking at you now, I don't see that person anymore. I don't see you as my hero, and I don't understand why."

Quinn nodded. She had a hurtful expression in her eyes, and for a moment, Santana wondered if she was too harsh with her words. "I can respect that. We've both changed. You've grown into a teenager, and I've turned into someone that I don't like. But unfortunately, that's life." The blonde licked her lips and squeezed Santana's hands encouraging. "You know, when I first saw you, I was confused, too."

"Really?"

The blonde nodded, hoping to leave it at that.

But of course, Santana pushed it. "Why?"

"May I speak freely?" Quinn asked, not wanting to offend her.

Santana nodded again, and she promised herself not to judge whatever came out of Quinn's mouth next.

"When we first met, 4 years ago, all I could think about was how adorable you were. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be the mother you never had. But when I saw you again at that coffee shop, my thoughts weren't exactly innocent. I went from thinking you were cute to thinking you were insanely attractive. You went from a 0 to a 10 really quick, and it was confusing." Quinn smiled charmingly. "What made it worse was that I later found out that you were my boyfriends daughter and that you were completely off limits. I hate that I couldn't have you. But more than that, I hated that I wanted you in the first place." Quinn sighed, looking down. "You were just a little girl, and then you grew into this beautiful woman, and it took me off guard. It _still_ takes me off guard."

Santana smiled softly, and chewed on her bottom lip. It wasn't exactly the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to her, but for some reason, it made her feel really special. "You were attracted to me?" She asked. Being best friends with Brittany, Santana was always comfortable with all sorts of sexualities, so whenever a woman was interested in her, she always felt super flattered.

"Of course," the blonde admitted with a soft laugh. "But I've straightened out my urges, and I understand that you're straight and you're Richards daughter, so nothing can ever happen between us. It just confused me that I even _wanted_ something to happen between us. It was a hard thing to come to terms with. Does that make sense?"

Santana found herself nodding as she slowly slipped her hands out of Quinn's grasp. "Completely," she agreed.

Quinn shot her a soft smile and Santana felt her heart beat heavily in her chest.

"I can't help but feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Our relationship has been pretty rocky," Quinn started with a soft chuckle. "What do you say we start over?" Quinn extended her hand.

Santana looked down at the hand and she giggled adorably. "Friends?" she asked the blonde.

Quinn beamed. "Friends," she repeated, and happily, the two girls shook hands.

* * *

So it was settled. There would be no more petty drama between Santana and Quinn. Now that they had a mature conversation and all her questions were answered, maybe the two of them could try to be friends.

And who knows? Being friends might turn out to be one of the best decisions Santana has made.

It's been about two weeks since she and Quinn called a truce, and for those 14 days, Santana's house has felt much more welcoming. She no longer dreaded the weekends, she actually liked family dinners, and whenever Richard talked about his girlfriend, Santana no longer cringed. It was a nice feeling.

Whenever Richard wasn't home, Santana and Quinn would sit on the couch and watch a few movies. They would share a few stories and laugh about something stupid. They bonded, and Santana found herself slowly beginning to trust the blonde. Quinn was becoming quite important to her in the three weeks that she's known her.

That shocked Santana because she doesn't usually let people in so easily.

Brittany hasn't come back to the house since the last time, and although it sucks, Santana doesn't want to do anything to risk the friendship she's built with Quinn. Quinn doesn't like Brittany, and Santana has to learn to respect that.

"Bye girls," Richard said sweetly to Quinn and Santana as he left for work on a cold Sunday.

Quinn had made breakfast for the family, and while Santana and the blonde weren't done, Richard had to rush out of the house to go to work. Santana swallowed her pancake and waved to him. "Bye Papa," she said with a soft smile.

"Bye, sweetie," Quinn called afterward, blowing him a kiss.

The door shut and once again, Quinn and Santana were left alone.

The silences that used to be awkward were awkward no more. Now, the silences felt comfortable and enjoyable with Quinn. Words weren't needed because they were simply able to enjoy each others company without searching for things to say.

Santana was comfortable with Quinn, and it was definitely a good feeling.

They were sitting at the kitchen table, Quinn across from Santana, and they were both finishing off their breakfast.

"I can't believe you don't like strawberries," Quinn stated with a soft smirk.

Santana rolled her eyes as she laughed. "Not this again.." she complained, smiling fondly. A few days back, Quinn asked Santana if she wanted some strawberries, and that led the Latina to say a 5 minute speech about how she hates them and refuses to eat them.

Quinn giggled and took a strawberry between her lips and bit down. Santana eyed her as she ate the fruit. "But they're so good. Seriously, I don't know one person who won't eat strawberries."

"Well now you do," Santana quipped with a playful wink.

Quinn didn't look satisfied. "Just try one," she begged with an adorable pout.

Over the past two weeks, Quinn has learned some of Santana's quirks. She learnt that the Latina always plays with her hair when she's nervous, she tugs on her clothing when she feels insecure, and the only time she's genuinely laughing is when her eyes shut. Also, she learnt that Santana can never say no to one of Quinn's pouts. That last one has definitely come in handy.

"No, don't you dare pout at me. You know I can never say no to you when you look like that," Santana laughed loudly, her eyes shutting in the process.

Quinn chuckled as well. "When I look like what?" She asked innocently.

"Adorable."

Silence filled the kitchen again, but it wasn't awkward. Santana looked at Quinn and if she didn't know any better, she would have assumed that the blonde was blushing. However, the embarrassment was quickly gone when Quinn grabbed another strawberry and leaned over the table, offering it to Santana. "Try one. For me."

Santana moved her face away from the fruit and shook her head. "Never," she whispered dramatically.

"Please, San?" Quinn whispered.

The Latina looked into hazel eyes and was rewarded with Quinn's pout followed by puppy dog eyes. She groaned playfully and rolled her eyes. "Alright fine!"

Quinn giggled and clapped her hands, happy that she had managed to convince Santana to try a strawberry.

Rather than giving Santana the fruit, Quinn simply held it between her fingers and moved her hand towards Santana's mouth. She was going to feed her.

Santana looked slightly skeptical, but after a few seconds of hesitation, she decided not to read too much into it. Instead, she rolled her eyes and giggled. Santana licked her lips and then moved her head, meeting Quinn's hand half way. She made direct eye contact with Quinn and slowly, her lips wrapped around the red fruit, and she bit down. She never once looked away from those piercing hazel eyes.

Santana was almost positive that her lips brushed up against Quinn's fingers, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Hotly, she chewed on the strawberry, and slowly leaned back into her chair.

The whole moment felt sort of erotic. Quinn just fed her a strawberry, and for most people, that could be passed off as innocent, but for some reason, the moment they just shared was anything but.

Over the past 2 weeks, there have been times where Santana wondered if Quinn was flirting with her or not. The blonde was naturally friendly, but she seemed to overdo it whenever Santana was around. It made Santana feel special so she never complained.

Santana licked her lips and smirked shyly. "Yum."

Quinn smirked back as she let out a soft chuckle. "You're really beautiful," Quinn simply said.

Santana quirked an eyebrow and blushed softly. She adjusted herself on the seat and took another bite of her pancake, successfully finishing it off. "Where did that come from?"

"I just wanted to say it."

The brunette nodded and licked her lips. "Well, thank you."

Quinn stood up and grabbed their dishes. She walked them over to the sink and began washing them.

"So, Miss. Photographer," Santana started, following her into the kitchen and jumping up onto the counter. "What's life like behind the lens?"

Quinn looked over her shoulder and made eye contact with Santana. She smirked. "Do you really wanna know?"

Santana simply nodded in response.

"It's amazing," Quinn started, ditching the dishes as she walked towards Santana on the counter. The blonde grabbed Santana's knees, and spread them apart.

Santana, who was simply wearing boy shorts, squealed under her breath when her legs were spread apart. Quinn quickly filled the whole as she stepped in between her legs.

She bit on her lip shyly and decided to focus on nothing but Quinn.

"I love my work, and I love finding new inspiration."

"But…?" Santana filled in.

Quinn laughed at that. "How did you know there was a but?"

Santana tilted her head and smiled at Quinn. She was so close that Santana could probably count Quinn's eyelashes if she wanted to. "There's always a but."

"But, I've been struggling to find inspiration recently. All I shoot is landscapes, but none of them excite me. I want to try something else."

Santana nodded in understanding and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. That sucks."

Quinn nodded as well and lazily, she wrapped her arms around Santana's waist. That caused the brunette's eyes to widen at the action, but she didn't comment on it.

"Hey," the blonde started, looking like she just had an idea. "How about you model for me?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Santana asked, jutting her chin forward, hoping that she misunderstood the blonde.

Quinn giggled softly and she nodded. "Yeah, it could be fun. You're insanely gorgeous, and I bet the camera loves you. We could have a lot of fun with it, and who knows? You could be the inspiration I've been looking for."

Santana laughed slowly, but the laughter eventually died down when she realized that Quinn wasn't joking. "Oh god, you're serious aren't you?"

The blonde licked her lips and nodded. "Why not? If it doesn't work out, then at least we tried, but if it does, then we can both make some money."

"I would get paid, too?"

"Well, someone has to buy it, first. But with your stunning cheek bones and amazing body, I don't see why anyone wouldn't buy it," Quinn charmed, her hand reaching up and cupping Santana's cheek. As she referred to the girls cheekbone, Quinn's thumb innocently grazed her cheek.

Santana inhaled sharply at the action. Oddly enough, she felt the need to slam her thighs together, but Quinn was standing between them, so she was forced to deal with the throbbing between her legs.

"Okay," she agreed. The look on Quinn's face was definitely worth it.

* * *

Quinn gave Santana time to get ready before they went to the blonde's studio. Santana definitely didn't want to look like she just got out of bed during the photoshoot. This was Quinn's work, and she wanted this to be successful.

After putting on some light makeup, straightening her hair, and dressing in a casual pair of jeans and a red top, Santana was ready to go.

The drive to Quinn's studio wasn't long, and the entire time they listened to music and sang obnoxiously. Santana couldn't help but notice that the blonde had a rather melodic voice when she tried. When she didn't try, she was absolutely hilarious.

Walking into the studio, Santana felt like she was a celebrity. It was thrilling to walk into a giant room with a photographer by her side, knowing that they want to take pictures of her. It made her feel special.

"I just need to set up my camera. In the mean time, do you mind going to the change room and changing into a nude bodysuit?" Quinn asked.

Santana's eyebrows arched up. "Nude bodysuit?" She repeated, hoping Quinn was joking.

The blonde stopped and looked over at her, nodding slowly. "Yeah. Unless that makes you uncomfortable. I don't want clothes to distract from your beauty. I want to make sure that when people look at these photos, they're not focusing on the clothes you're wearing, rather than how beautiful your face is."

Santana nodded slowly, and then cleared her throat. "Right. Okay, y-yeah." And with that, the brunette ran off to the change room.

Funnily enough, the nude bodysuit was the first thing she found. It was a rather risqué thing to wear, especially since from far, she looked naked. The bodysuit was skin colour, giving off the sense of nudity, but obviously, the bodysuit covered any parts she wasn't comfortable showing for the camera. After changing into the material, Santana looked at herself in the mirror and took a nervous deep breath in. She looked beautiful. She knew she did. Santana's body was toned, yet curvy, making her look beyond her years. Santana probably looked 19 and it made her feel beautiful.

Without shoes, she tiptoed out of the change room and walked towards Quinn. The blonde was fiddling with her camera, and the camera was set up in front of a white back drop. It all looked so professional.

Santana was rather cold considering her legs and arms were bare and on display. She didn't feel self conscious in the bodysuit because she knew that she looked good, she was just nervous about Quinn seeing her in such little clothing. It would be a first.

Santana cleared her throat to signal that she was done getting ready.

Quinn seemed to have finished setting up her camera considering she turned around to face the Latina. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her, and it looked as if she was having difficulty swallowing. Quinn cleared her throat, wiped off imaginary sweat, and her hazel eyes travelled up and down Santana's body. Santana felt like she was on a canvas, being studied by strangers.

But Quinn wasn't a stranger, and it almost felt good to have her eyes on her body.

It felt thrilling.

Santana licked her lips and patently waited for Quinn to finish looking at her body.

Hazel eyes met hers, and Santana smiled at her shyly.

"You have no idea how amazing you look right now," Quinn said softly, a smirk appearing on her lips.

Santana chuckled. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were hitting on me," she teased, surprised by her own comments.

Quinn winked playfully, and then pointed to the white back drop. "Santana, I'm 14 years older than you, don't be silly." She didn't sound serious. If anything, Quinn sounded playful, sarcastic either. It was as if she didn't mean the words she was saying, and that the age difference didn't mean anything to her.

Hearing Quinn sound so playful shot a spark through Santana's body. The Latina walked over to the white back drop and stood in front of the camera. She was officially on display.

The lens stared at her, and so did Quinn. Santana couldn't remember the last time she felt so alive.

"How should I pose?" She asked shyly. "I'm sorry, I've just never done this before."

Quinn chuckled in understanding. "I know that, sweetie. It's okay. You're a dancer right?"

Santana nodded.

"Just do what feels natural. Use your body to make shapes. If I'm not happy, I'll direct you into a different pose. But for now, do whatever you feel comfortable with." Quinn gave her a thumbs up, and then grabbed the camera, directing it on Santana.

The Latina took a deep breath in and then she started posing.

It surprised her how natural it came. Santana would always watch shoes like America's Next Top Model, and she would always complain about how difficult modelling looked. But right now, in front of Quinn's welcoming stare, it came natural to her.

Santana contorted her body so it added a weird shape to her waist as she eyed the camera. In order to portray a good picture, she pretended like she wanted to seduce the camera. She eyed the lens and flirted with it slightly. Her lips quirked up in a smirk, and she twisted her neck upward.

Santana continued to pose, and she changed her position every few seconds.

"Very good!" Quinn called from behind the camera. "I love the way you're looking at the camera. Very sexy."

At those two words, Santana inhaled sharply, and she froze on the spot.

Quinn just called her sexy.

Suddenly, she was embarrassed beyond belief, and her mind went blank. She could no longer think of anymore poses to portray a good photograph. She was letting Quinn down.

Santana stood there, wide eyed and frozen.

Quinn lowered the camera and eyed her. "Santana?"

Brown eyes lifted up and locked with Quinn's, but Santana didn't say a word.

"You okay?"

Santana nodded frantically.

Quinn licked her lips. "Okay, how about you sit on the floor for a second?" She offered, understanding that Santana's mind went blank.

Following her instructions, Santana sat down on the ground and crossed her legs like she used to do in school.

That made Quinn chuckle, and Santana felt even more embarrassed because clearly, she lost her spark. "Make it a little bit more flirtatious. It's okay, San, it's just me," Quinn told her with a reassuring smile.

Santana bowed her head and looked down. She uncrossed her legs and placed her feet firmly on the ground, so her knees were in the air.

Quinn nodded, but placed her camera down. "Good, but.." She walked over, and bent down to help adjust Santana into a position. Slowly, warm hands grabbed Santana's knees, and just like earlier, she parted the brunette's legs.

Their faces were just inches apart, and Santana was scared that Quinn would be able to hear her beating heart. She could hardly breathe; not with Quinn so agonizingly close to her.

The worst part? Santana had no idea why having Quinn so close was affecting her so much.

No woman has excited her this much before, so why now?

Santana felt something twitch in her panties, and her eyes widened in realization. Her clit. She was aroused. Santana tried to hide her reaction as she bowed her head down, and hid from the blonde. She prayed to god that there wasn't a stain on her bodysuit, otherwise she would run out in tears.

A delicate hand was softly placed on Santana's inner thigh and she bit hard on her bottom lip to keep from moaning. "Stretch this leg out, sweetie," Quinn whispered, and urged Santana's leg down.

After finally being placed in a position, Quinn backed away and continued taking pictures.

Santana felt like she wanted to cry.

For the first time in her entire life, she was turned on by a woman. She was turned on by Quinn, and that terrified her.

What did that even mean?

Santana bravely looked up at the camera and continued posing.

"Good." Quinn's words of encouragement motivated Santana to ignore her arousal and give Quinn the photo shoot of a life time.

She stayed on the floor for about 10 pictures, but then she crawled onto her knees and stuck her ass out in the air. Quinn's reaction behind the camera was slightly amusing. Her eyes widened, and she almost dropped the professional camera.

Santana began crawling forward, and eyeing the camera like she wanted to fuck the person behind it.

Truthfully… she did.

Santana was crawling closer and closer. She was just a few steps away from Quinn, now.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

"Okay, we have our shot!" Quinn practically screamed, backing away from Santana nervously, and clearing her throat.

Santana froze on her hands and knees and shyly fell back onto her ass. She nodded and slowly stood onto her feet.

"You can go get changed, and then we'll go back home, alight?"

The brunette nodded, and mutely ran back to the change room.

* * *

Silence on the way home. And not the comfortable kind.

Neither girl said a word, yet they were probably both thinking the same thing.

What just happened?

Today was a good day that took a weird twist. Sure, they had some intimate moments over breakfast, but they've grown close over the three weeks that they've known each other. The strawberry wasn't the weird part. The weird part was the photoshoot.

Santana was wearing a nude bodysuit, so it gave off the impression that she was naked. While she was posing, Quinn called her sexy, and then she grabbed her legs, spread them apart, and traced her inner thigh with her fingers. They had a moment. Santana was sure of it.

What she was even more sure of was that Quinn made her wet, and the following truth scared the shit out of her.

The only person that had ever been able to make her wet before was Puck, and he was a guy, so that was normal.

But this? This is new. And this is terrifying.

When they parked in the driveway, Santana got out of the car without saying a word. She ran into the house and rushed up the stairs and into her room.

She needed to be alone with her thoughts.

Thank god for the lock her dad bought her 2 years ago, because right now, she definitely needed her privacy.

Santana slammed the door, locked it, and then turned on the stereo. She made the music as loud as possible so that Quinn wouldn't be able to hear what she was doing.

She was ashamed of herself for doing what she did next.

Santana walked over to the bed, unbuckled her jeans, and sat down. She laid down on the bed, eyes to the ceiling, and slowly, her hand slid down the waistband of her jeans.

Puck.

She made herself think of Puck so that when she eventually orgasmed, she didn't feel so guilty.

Her fingers found her folds, and Santana was surprised by how wet she still was. Rubbing slowly, up and down, she allowed Puck to fill her thoughts.

His broad shoulders.

His deep voice.

His bad body presence.

His sexy mohawk.

Santana thought about his thick cock and his amazing it felt filling her up. She thought about everything and everything, but as her finger found her clit, she found herself no longer turned on. Thoughts of Puck weren't helping her. She needed a release desperately or she would be on edge around Quinn every time she saw her. She needed to do this.

Santana groaned impatiently. Shutting her eyes, and rubbed her clit roughly and fast, and finally, she was beginning to get aroused again. She moaned in pleasure at the feeling, and allowed herself to truly enjoy it.

Without even realizing it, she imagined a sexy blonde hovering over her, kissing her neck and touching her pussy.

"Oh god.." Santana moaned hotly, going faster with her fingers.

She was so fucking wet.

Her fingers were sliding back and forth, and once she felt ready, she slipped her index finger inside of herself.

Santana winced at the stretch. It's been a while since she's slept with Puck, and she felt so damn tight because of it.

Quinn.

She thought of Quinn completely.

Her delicious ass.

Her perky chest.

That silky smooth voice.

That fucking smirk.

Santana thought about everything as she stuck a second finger inside.

Her chest arched desperately, needing more friction. It felt so deliciously good.

"Fuck.." She panted, chewing on her bottom pipe.

She was so close.

Santana slipped a third finger inside and she moaned loudly at the feeling.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

She picked up speed and she saw flashes of blonde hair and hazel eyes, and with that thought in her mind, she came hard.

"Quinn!" Santana shouted, thankful for the loud music to drain out her orgasm.

Once she settled down, Santana took her fingers out of herself, and cupped her mouth. She gasped silently and her eyes quickly filled with tears. All she could feel was shame and self loathing.

What did she just do?

Santana absolutely hated herself. She was completely disgusted with herself and the act she just committed.

Santana just fucked herself to the image of her dads girlfriend. She deserved to be locked up.

Shutting her eyes, Santana cried miserably.

She cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

When Santana woke up, it was dark outside. She could also hear sounds coming from downstairs, so she figured that her dad was home. Quinn probably told him everything.

Quinn probably told Richard that Santana was giving her weird vibes, and that the brunette was making her really uncomfortable. Quinn probably hated her. Santana prayed that the blonde didn't hear what she did to herself in her room. Quinn would never forgive her for that.

The truth is, Santana liked having Quinn as a friend. She was easy to talk to, she made great jokes, and she made Santana feel more alive than she's ever felt before. Santana didn't want to pass that up. She was scared that after the photoshoot, she scared Quinn away, and now the blonde wants nothing to do with her.

That would be horrible.

Lazily, Santana stood up and changed out of her come stained jeans and panties. She changed underwear and put on some boxers.

Santana carried the dirty clothes in her hand with a look of disgust on her face. She opened her closet door and searched for her laundry basket.

The clothes needed to get put in the laundry.

She searched for the basket and groaned impatiently when she couldn't find it. The Latina was definitely not in the mood for getting on her hands and knees and searching for it.

But, nonetheless, she did. She got down on the ground and looked for the laundry bin.

Her father did laundry on Wednesdays, so she knew that the basket had to be somewhere.

Setting the clothes down on the ground, Santana stuck her head in the closet, and used her hands to move things around, desperate to find it.

Her hand reached out and grabbed a hold of something hard. She furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of what she just touched.

Santana grabbed onto the object and leaned back. Her eyes widened in recognition.

Her eyes quickly filled with tears as she stared down at the diary she kept when she was younger. Santana had no idea that she still had it. She thought that she had thrown it out when she got older, but clearly, it's been in her closet this whole time.

Forgetting about the dirty clothes, Santana grabbed the journal and walked over to her bed. She was nervous to read what was inside because as a little girl, she was so happy. And ever since her parents' divorce, life hasn't been so easy.

She opened the first page and began reading.

_November 1st. _

_I went trick or treating with Mama and Papa last night! it was so much fun! I was an ellefant and Papa told me I was the cutest ellefant in the whole wide world! Mama told me I would make all the other ellefants jellus! We had so much fun! We lafhed, walked, and ate candy all night long! I love my family. _

Santana smiled sadly at the entry. She wrote that when she was 6 years old. Ignoring the horrible spelling mistakes, Santana flipped a few more pages and skipped to a later entry.

_July 12._

_I just got home from vacation with Mama and Papa! Florida was so warm, I wish I could live there forever. Plus, there was a lifeguard on the beach, and he was really cute. Papa told me I was too young to be interested in boys, but I told him I was! The lifeguard never talked to me, but I waved goodbye to him on my last day and he waved back. He totally loved me. _

Santana shut her eyes as she laughed out loud at the insane entry. She was 11 when she wrote that. Funny how things change. Santana turned more pages and her heart stopped when she came across the entry on the day her mom left.

_September 27._

_My Mama left. Papa says she's gone forever, but I know she'll be back. She loved me too much to go away forever. Besides, she promised me! And she always used to tell me that a promise is the greatest thing someone can make! She would never break her promise to me. Never. On the bright side, I met a woman today! She was blonde, very tall, and very beautiful. I think she said her name was Quinn. Isn't that such a pretty name? I really like her. She told me I was brave. She said I was strong enough to handle this. I don't know what she was referring to, but it made me smile. Quinn is so pretty. I hope I see her again sometime soon. _

Santana's eyes widened. She couldn't believe her eyes.

Quinn had such an impact on her life, so how on earth did Santana forget about her? How could she allow herself to forget the blonde? Santana's heart was in her throat when she finished the entry. While a lot has changed since she wrote these entries, there is one thing that has stayed constant: Santana's thoughts about Quinn. Sure, they got off to a rocky start, but Santana always believed that Quinn was the most beautiful girl in the world. 12 year old Santana and 16 year old Santana both look up to the blonde.

She turned another page and gasped at what she saw.

All over the page was Quinn's name with hearts circled around it. Some just said Quinn, some said Q+S, and others said Quinn+Santana=Love.

Santana rubbed her eyes, praying that this was her imagination, but the hearts never disappeared.

It was clear to her now. 12 year old Santana was in love with Quinn.

She slammed the journal shut and threw it away with tears in her eyes.

She was so screwed.

* * *

**Hope you liked this chapter! I loved writing it!**

**Review!**


	10. Wordless Apologies

**CHAPTER 10**

**Things are pretty hectic for me right now with school and maintaining a relationship, so it's getting harder and harder to find time to write. However no matter what I'm doing, I'm thinking about uploading another chapter for you guys. **

**Hope you enjoy, and thank you all for the amazing reviews!**

* * *

_Things were hard for a while. No, scratch that, things were terrible for a while. _

_For the first few days after her mother left, Santana struggled with an alcoholic father in the middle of one of his worst relapses yet. In the mornings, he had coffee, but even Santana knew that it was spiked with something. In the afternoons, he drank out of a water bottle, but judging by his reaction every time he took a sip, it wasn't water. And at night, he had a glass of wine. Her father was gone. _

_It was hard to deal with. Santana had to take over the mother role in the house and as a 12 year old, it was almost impossible. _

_Just when she was about to give up, after she helped her father into bed, Richard slurred 'I'm gonna get better, sweetie. I promise you.'_

_And then one day, things weren't so hard. _

_Soon after, Richard actually drank coffee in the mornings and water in the afternoon. Before she knew it, the man that raised her was back again. _

_But of course, life was still hard. Santana didn't have a female figure in her life anymore. She didn't have anyone to braid her hair or help her pick out matching clothes. She didn't have anyone to warn her about her period or how to use a tampon. All she had was her father, and as amazing as he was, he wasn't enough. He would never be able to teach her the things that only a mother could teach her. _

_The days following the separation, Santana would mostly stay held up in her room, writing in her journal. Most of her entries were sad and about her mother. Most of the time, she wrote about how much she missed her and how lost she felt without her. _

_But one day, she wrote a completely different entry. _

_Santana thought back to the woman that helped her when she was at her worse. She remembered the gorgeous blonde that told her to be brave and to be strong. She remembered those hazel eyes when she told Santana that she didn't need a mother to be okay. _

_Her lips twitched upward at the idea. _

_The brunette shut her eyes and desperately tried to remember her name. It was something pretty and it was unique. Something like Kayla. No, not Kayla. _

_Santana thought long and hard. _

_"Quinn…" She whispered, opening up her eyes and smiling brightly. _

_That was it! Quinn. Quinn with the long blonde hair, the sympathetic eyes and the bright smile. Quinn was her light at the end of the tunnel. When Santana was at her darkest moment, Quinn pulled her out. She gave her hope. Quinn was like a diamond in a pile full of pennies. She was Santana's hero. _

_Without thinking twice, Santana wrote Quinn's name on her journal. In big, bold letters, she wrote 'Q. U. I. N. N.'_

_Placing her pencil down, Santana pulled back and looked at her work. She giggled and blushed at the sight of the woman's name on her journal. It felt so personal. _

_Eagerly, Santana grabbed her pencil again and drew a big heart around the name. Fascinated by the sight of Quinn's name in a heart, she drew four more. Eventually, she started getting creative and wrote 'Quinn + Santana'. _

_For short form, she would write 'Q+S' but every time, she circled it with a heart. _

_Santana felt her own heart flutter. She admired Quinn. The blonde was so amazingly beautiful and all Santana wanted to do was see her again. She would find Quinn, thank her, and ask if they could be together forever. _

_A few days passed, but her determination never faltered. Every morning, Santana would run outside her house, journal in hand, and she would search for Quinn. She looked right and left, and waited for as long as she could, before she sadly walked back into her house. _

_One day, when she walked back into her house, she literally bumped right into her father. _

_"Oh, sorry sweetie. What were you doing outside?" He asked, looking down at her. _

_Santana clutched her journal closer to her and smiled innocently. "I was looking for my friend."_

_His face expression confusion before he nodded slowly. "Which friend?"_

_"Her name is Quinn! I met her last week!"_

_Richard chuckled softly. "San, aren't you a little old for imaginary friends?"_

_Santana's smile instantly disappeared. She shook her head violently. "No, Papa, she's not imaginary. I met her the day Mama left. I keep trying to find her again, but I don't know where she went!"_

_The man laughed again. "Alright, baby. If it's meant to be, you'll see her again. I promise."_

_The Latina smiled again. She liked the sound of that. "Her and I are definitely meant to be! I love her Papa!"_

_Yes, Santana was 12, and while she was old enough to understand what it felt like to have a crush, she wasn't old enough to understand that liking a girl wasn't exactly normal nor expected. _

_"You what?"_

_"I love her!"_

_Richard's eyes darkened slightly as he shook his head. He grabbed Santana's wrist and pulled her into the living room. He sat her down on the couch and bent over to talk to her. His face was right in front of hers. "Santana, honey, it's very sweet that you have a friend, but you can't love her, okay?"_

_Santana furrowed her eyebrows. "Why not? She's so pretty and she was so sweet to me!"_

_He cupped her cheek softly and sighed in sadness. "Honey, you don't understand yet, but one day you will. You can't like girls, okay? Just… forget about her."_

_"Why can't I like girls?" She asked, demanding a reasonable answer. _

_"Because it's wrong. God, Santana, what would Mama think?"_

_At those words, Santana's eyes quickly filled with tears. Her bottom lip quivered and she could barely make out the man in front of her. Not just because her tears were invading her vision, but because he was showing an ugly side to himself; one that Santana didn't like. "Mama isn't here anymore!" She shouted. _

_Upset beyond belief, Santana stood up from the couch and ran to her room. Unbeknownst to her, she left her journal behind. _

_It had to be a few hours later when her door opened up. She knew because the screws were loose, and every time the door opened, it squeaked. The sound was terribly annoying and woke her up from her sleep. _

_Santana's eyes fluttered open, and she could tell that she cried herself to sleep. Slowly, she rolled over to look at who was standing by her door. _

_It was her father, and he had a guilty look on his face. In his hand was her journal. _

_"You found it!" She said, sitting up straight. When Santana got to her room last night, she searched everywhere for her journal, afraid that she lost is outside. She completely forgot that she simply left it downstairs. _

_Richard nodded and handed it to her slowly._

_"Did you read it?"_

_He nodded again. _

_"Papa, thats my privacy!"_

_Richard sat on the edge of Santana's bed and reached out to grab her ankle beneath the sheets. "I'm going to get you some help, okay sweetheart?"_

_His voice was soft and almost apologetic, but the words he was saying were evil. Pure evil. "Help?"_

_"A therapist. I think your mother and I's separation is really getting to you. You're acting out and frankly, I don't even recognize you."_

_"Papa, what are you talking about?!" Santana asked, her eyes quickly filling with tears. _

_Richard opened the journal and flipped to the page with Quinn's name written all over it. "_This _is not the little girl I raised. You're deflecting from the real problem and you're confused. But I'm going to help you, okay? I promise." Condescendingly, he smiled afterward. _

_Santana shook her head viscously. "I don't need help."_

_"It's okay," he whispered, "you have nothing to be ashamed of. We'll talk in the morning, okay? I'm going to find you the best psychiatrist out there."_

_And with that, Richard stood up, and left her room. _

_Santana let the tears spill over miserably. When her door shut, she grabbed her journal, and harshly threw it on the other side of the room._

* * *

The memory was haunting her.

Every time she closed her eyes, another part of her childhood came rushing back.

First, it was the day her mother left, but now, it was how young and in love she used to be with Quinn.

It was embarrassing.

Santana remembered how heart broken she was when her father told her she needed therapy. Looking back, he was right. But she didn't need the therapy because she was crushing on a girl, she needed therapy because she was a 12 year old with an absentee mother and an alcoholic father. She was carrying stress around that no pre teen should have to carry.

The therapist only asked about Quinn on the very first meeting, and after Santana told him that she didn't want to talk about Quinn, he never brought her up again.

Because of that, Santana ended up forgetting all together.

But now, the facts were out, and the memories were hitting her like a big yellow school bus.

She didn't know what it meant, but all she knew was that she was in love with Quinn. At one point, when she was at her most vulnerable, Santana loved her.

Did that make her gay? Or was she simply taking her admiration for her hero on another level?

She hoped it was the latter because Santana Lopez was not gay.

It was a Monday, so nothing was going her way.

Tiredly, her eyes opened and she instantly groaned. This was going to be a tough day, that was for sure.

She rolled out of bed, lazily walked into her bathroom, and made herself presentable.

Santana put on some foundation, eyeliner, mascara, and a nude lip. She straightened her hair and slicked it back into a pony tail. Then, she walked into her closet and slipped into her cheerio uniform. She stood in front of the mirror and sighed heavily. Every morning was the exact same.

She wore the same clothes, she always wore her hair in that fucking pony tail, and she was getting tired of it.

Santana wanted to express herself.

She wanted a change.

She craved excitement.

Being a cheerio wasn't satisfying her needs. But if she quit, she would fall from the top of the pyramid and almost be as weird as the Glee kids. She couldn't let that happen.

Her morning ritual passed by in a flash, and before she knew it, she was sitting in the kitchen, with a plate of pancakes in front of her, and Quinn beside her. It was becoming more and more difficult to be in the same room with. Now that they were friends, Santana didn't have an excuse to be so distant, but after her revelation last night, she could hardly look into those hazel eyes without being confused.

She was not gay! But maybe Quinn was her exception?

No, she was simply a little girl with a stupid infatuation with the blonde. Nothing more.

"San…" Quinn started, being the first one to say something since Santana came downstairs. "About yesterday-"

"It's fine, Quinn."

Nothing horrible happened yesterday. They actually had a pretty fun day. However, things got a little… weird at the photoshoot. Something happened between them, something Santana still couldn't understand. But whatever it was, it led her to finger herself to hard that she could have sworn she felt her intestines.

She was masturbating to the image of Quinn. That's got to mean something, right?

Quinn is admittedly beautiful, and for some reason, the image of Puck wasn't making her aroused, so she stooped so low as to imagine her dads girlfriend.

She hates herself for it.

Santana felt like she violated the blonde, and she didn't even deserve to be eating her delicious breakfast.

"I'm not going to do anything with the photos," Quinn promised. "They were too personal, and I would never exploit you like that."

Santana nodded slowly, secretly grateful. Those photos were more than what she expected. Between the nude bodysuit and her arousal, she didn't want to be on display for the world to see. That was an intimate moment, one that she didn't even want _Quinn _to see, let alone her customers.

"Thank you," she whispered, a small smile appearing on her lips. Santana looked over at the woman, and her breath hitched.

Quinn in the morning was her weakness. That was when the blonde looked her most natural. Her hair was always slightly ratted, her clothes were baggy, and she didn't have a stitch of make up.

Santana always knew that Quinn was beautiful. Despite her initial hatred and recent avoidance, she was always able to admit that the girl was stunning.

And in the morning, Santana felt like she was getting a taste of the real Quinn.

So right now, looking at her, Santana got lost in her eyes and she felt her whole body go numb. It's rare to look true beauty in the eye. Everyone has their flaws, Quinn as well, but in that moment, Santana could only see the good. She no longer saw evil or manipulative. No, Santana saw purity and love.

Then again, it was a Monday morning, and she was probably being delusional.

Santana's eyes travelled Quinn's face, and it felt like time had stopped. She couldn't get enough of that pale skin and a hint of that smirk. Before her eyes travelled any lower, Santana snapped out of it.

She was not gay. She told herself that over and over and soon enough, it sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that, rather than convince someone else.

"I-"

"We should-"

They both started talking at the same time. Santana shut her eyes and let out a small laugh. Quinn did the same.

"You first," Quinn urged.

"We should get going," she said, referring to her school. It had become a tradition that Quinn drives her to school. Santana had her license, and she was perfectly capable of driving herself, but for some reason, she always preferred to be driven by the blonde. It was nicer.

Quinn opened her mouth to talk, but closed it soon after. She nodded slowly. "Yeah.. You're right. Let's go, kiddo."

For some reason, hearing the word 'kiddo' leave Quinn's mouth made Santana cringe. "I'm not a kid," she said, standing up from the chair. She walked over to the front door and started putting on her shoes.

Quinn chuckled from behind her. "You sort of are."

Santana tensed. "I'm 16. My 17th birthday is in 26 days. I'm not a kid."

The blonde held up her hands defensively as she chuckled. "Alright. You win."

With that, they both left the house, got in the car, and began driving to Santana's school.

The car ride was tense. It wasn't because they didn't know what to say, but rather because ever since Quinn walked into her life, Santana has been losing touch of her reality.

Who was she?

Was she still Santana Lopez: non believer of love?

Was she still Santana Lopez: HBIC and head cheerio?

Or had all of that changed in the presence of beauty?

Before she knew it, the car parked in front of the school, and Quinn turned to face her.

"I don't know what I did to change the way you see me, but I would really like to go back to being your friend," Quinn said, smiling softly over at her. "I like you, Santana."

Santana's breath hitched at that. _She didn't mean it literally, dumby. She likes you as a possible step daughter; nothing more. _Santana shook her head at her own stupidity and forced out a soft smile. "You didn't do anything, Quinn. I promise. I just… had a weird dream last night. That's all."

Quinn's smile grew slightly, clearly feeling better about herself. "Oh, okay! Well.. good." Quinn licked her lips and winked playfully. "Have a good day, _kiddo._"

The Latina quirked an eyebrow and her jaw clenched at that. That name. That stupid, fucking name. "I'm not-"

Quinn quickly cut in. "You're not a kid. I know. Trust me, with your body, you are _not _a kid." Then, Quinn's eyes proceeded to hungrily roam her body.

Santana's eyes widened in shock and she felt her whole body go numb in pleasure. Without thinking twice, Santana hurriedly jumped out of the car.

God, her clit was throbbing! This was _not_ normal. She needed some serious help.

Santana blushed and grabbed her bag. "Thanks for the ride, Q-Quinn!" She stuttered out and then ran into the school.

What she didn't know, was that hazel eyes watched her ass the entire time.

* * *

School was hard that day.

In every class, all Santana could think about was Quinn Fabray, and it was killing her.

Literally.

She found herself doodling mysterious hazel eyes, thinking about her during a test, and recounting their previous encounters.

Santana was having an identity crisis and if she didn't figure out what all of this meant soon, she would go nuts.

Who better than her bubbly, bisexual best friend? Brittany always gave good advice, and she never judged her.

That's why, between 5th and 6th period, Santana went on a search for her best friend.

As predicted, Brittany was in the cafeteria, on Artie's lap. Admittedly, they were a cute couple. At first, Santana wasn't so sure about the idea of Brittany dating Artie. She thought that the boy would ruin her reputation and turn her into a loser. The last thing Santana wanted was to see her very best friend with red dye number 7 all over her clothes. Brittany and slushy's don't mix.

Determination written all over her face, Santana stormed over to the blonde and yanked her off of Artie's lap. "I need to steal her for a few minutes," she told the boy.

Artie nodded, and Santana took that as permission. So, she dragged Brittany out of the cafeteria and into the halls. Thankfully, they were empty. Santana pulled Brittany away and stood by her.

Suddenly, she was terrified to admit to this. It wasn't exactly an easy thing to just blurt out.

_Hey Britt, turns out I'm having serious gay thoughts about my dads girlfriend. How has _your _day been?_

There is no way easy way to say it.

"You okay?" Brittany asked, reaching out to touch Santana's forehead with the back of her hand. "Hmm.. you don't have a fever. Maybe it's the chicken pox! Stay away! I haven't had them yet!" Dramatically, Brittany jumped away from Santana's side, and lifted her hands up defensively as if that would save her.

Santana rolled her eyes with a soft chuckle. "I'm not sick, Brittany! Well… maybe I am. I just - God Britt, I really need your advice."

Blue eyes slowly softened when she realized how serious this was. "Of course. You can tell me anything."

Santana took a deep breath in and looked down. Rubbing her forehead in stress, she blurted, "I've been having f-feelings.." She started.

Brittany let out a soft laugh. "Someone finally cracked your icy heart!" She cheered as if it was something to celebrate. "I know that you're so against falling in love, but I knew that someday, someone would make you reevaluate your life. So, who is it? Do I know him? Are you in love?" Brittany asked the questions so fast and so cheerily that Santana could only compare her to a puppy on steroids.

"Brittany, calm down," Santana hissed.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Santana. Love isn't a bad thing."

"I'm not in love, okay? These _feelings_," she spat out, "they're not romantic feelings. They're sexual."

Brittany laughed. "Well that's never bothered you before, San. Just give in. Every teenager has urges, it's normal."

"No! It's not that simple, Britt!"

Brittany clenched her jaw. "First of all, don't yell at me. You asked for my help, and I am just trying to understand before I give you horrible advice."

"You're right," Santana started, nodding her head slowly. "I'm sorry. This is not your fault."

The blonde nodded and smiled slowly. That was the best part about Brittany. She never stayed mad for too long. As long as she was given a genuine apology, she instantly forgave the person. Holding grudges is definitely an unattractive quality. "So what do you need help with?"

Santana cringed as she bowed her head down and groaned. "I'm a horrible person."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because this person isn't mine to fantasize about," she said.

Blue eyes lit up and if Santana didn't know any better, she would have guessed that Brittany looked excited by that information. "You're having sexual fantasies about someone in a relationship? Oh god, that is rich."

Before Santana could respond to that, a third voice announced his presence.

"Afternoon, ladies," Puck's voice echoed through the empty halls as he sauntered over to them. Playfully, he grabbed Santana's shoulder. He looked between Santana and Brittany and let out a soft laugh. "Wow, San. When you dumped me, I didn't think it was because you secretly liked girls. Suddenly, I'm not so disappointed." Smugly, the man winked.

Santana knew he was joking. Puck knew better than anyone that Santana and Brittany were strictly friends. He also knew just _how _straight Santana was. So when he made that comment, Santana knew it was coming from a friendly place, but still, she couldn't help but flare up in anger.

Today was not her day. And it was not the day for someone to tease her about being gay.

Without any hesitation, Santana turned around, fisted Puck's shirt, and slammed him against the lockers. "I am _not _a dyke," she hissed. Her voice was low.

"Santana!" She heard Brittany yell from behind her. Dyke was a horrible word, and having a bisexual best friend, she usually hated the term but in that moment, Santana couldn't think of a worse word to be accused of.

Her face was pressed up against Puck, and she could have sworn that she saw fear beneath his brown eyes. "Woah, Santana… chill, man. I was just kidding! I know you're not. I was just… k-kidding."

Santana was breathing heavily by the time he was done talking. Even if he was kidding, Santana could practically feel her whole world coming apart.

"I am not gay," she said again, but this time, her voice sounded scared rather than forceful.

His hand grabbed her hip and squeezed comfortingly. "I know, baby. I know."

Santana looked down at his hand, and slowly, she looked back up at his face.

He was smirking.

* * *

Kissing someone never felt more satisfying.

It was rushed and sloppy, but it was the hottest kiss Santana has had in a long time.

She kicked the front door shut behind them, blindly moving towards the stairs.

Hands were grabbing everywhere, moans were whimpered under their breath, and all Santana could feel was muscles.

God, she felt so alive.

In that moment, all thoughts of Quinn left her mind. _This _was who Santana Lopez was. She just needed reminding.

Desperately, she continued kissing him, fisting his shirt. It was another layer separating them, and Santana could hardly wait anymore.

"Off," she begged, walking backwards.

Puck smirked at her and nodded. "I can't believe we're doing this again," he whispered, pulling back and yanking off his top.

Santana watched hungrily as his bare skin revealed itself. Truthfully, she missed him. She missed how sexy he made her feel. She missed the weight of his body on top of her, and she missed how sexy their fucking always was.

"Couch?" He asked.

Santana shook her head, her lips swollen from kissing. She was panting. "No. Quinn will be home in 15 minutes. My room." She grabbed his hand and quickly, they ran upstairs.

Quinn would be home soon, so they had to make this quick. Santana _needed_ this quickie to remind herself who she was.

Her bedroom door flung open and instantly, their lips were attached again. Puck roughly pinned her against the wall, and that earned him a moan from Santana.

Once again, she kicked the door shut. Her hand blindly moved to the door knob, desperate to find the lock.

She focused on kissing him and grinding down on his thigh, but at the same time, she was trying to lock the door.

Giving up, she wrapped her arm around his neck and dug her nails into his skin.

The door didn't need to be locked. They wouldn't take any longer than 5 minutes, she was sure of it.

Santana squealed adorably when Puck grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her into his arms. She smiled at the familiarity of the position.

Stopping the kiss, she looked down at him hungrily. It's been 2 and a half weeks since they've last had sex, and Santana is literally craving him.

Craving his cock.

Her back hit the bed and she gasped in passion.

Soon enough, he was crawling over her and straddling her hips. His hands found the hem of her cheerio top, tugging on it slightly.

Before, they never undressed each other. It was a silent agreement that they shared. But right then, underneath Puck, desperate for sex, Santana didn't care about the rules.

"You do it," she begged.

And he did. In a matter of seconds, they were both completely naked. Their clothes were thrown all over the room, and the covers were kicked off of the bed. It was nothing but nudity, sweat, and moaned words.

It felt like old times.

Puck was busy kissing her neck as his hand reached into her drawer. He was searching for the condoms.

"Hurry," Santana panted, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she rolled her hips up onto his. He moaned, and she giggled.

"Got it."

He grabbed a single condom, ripped off the top, spat it out, and rolled it onto his hard cock. Fuck, it was a beautiful sight.

Gay? Not a chance.

Puck was the only person that could get this reaction out of Santana. She was sure of it.

Lining her up carefully, Puck hooked her legs over his shoulders. Thank god for flexibility.

Santana winced slightly at the stretch and took a deep breath in. Slowly, he entered her.

She gasped loudly. "Oh!" She reached out and grabbed onto the nearest pillow. Desperately, she dug her nails into it and moaned loudly.

He moaned with her. And slowly, he started to move.

"You okay?" He panted, shutting his eyes as his hips moved rhythmically.

Santana nodded frantically, sweat accumulating on the curve of her breast. "P-Per - fuck! Perfect."

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. Her nailed scratched down his back. "Faster, Puck. Fuck me into this mattress."

He smirked on top of her, and Santana wanted to slap it off of him. Sometimes, his ego was too big for her to handle. But right now, all she cared about was him fucking the gay out of her. He could make it all disappear if he tried hard enough. And she was counting on it.

For the next few minutes, the only sounds that were heard were his balls slapping against her ass, the head board banging harshly against the wall, and Santana's pants.

No words were exchanged, but they were both in agreement that this was the best sex they've ever had.

"I.. knew… you would… come back to me," Puck panted on top of her.

Santana was close. She could feel herself on the edge of her orgasm, and if he pushed a little harder and a little faster, she would climax. "Shut up," she begged, covering his mouth as she withered beneath him.

He bit on her hand, and normally, it would bother her, but it only turned her on more. Once she moved her hand away, Puck said, "no girl can resist the Puckzilla charm for long."

Wincing at his egotistical words, Santana forcefully flipped them over. He was still inside of her, but this time, she was on top.

Santana loved this position. She had the power. Riding boys would forever be her favourite pass time.

She confidently straddled his hips, and her hands found his pecs. Her index and thumb were fiddling with his nipple ring.

"Ride me, babe," he husked hungrily.

Santana nodded as her hips slowly began rolling down. At the new position, he hit her sensitive spot every time. She cursed and moaned and screamed in pleasure.

Picking up speed, Santana jumped up and down on his did. Her boobs bounced and she smiled softly when Puck reached out to fondle them.

"I didn't c-come back f-f-for you," she started, moaning again. "I c-came back for me." And it was true. Santana was fucking him right now because she needed it. She needed him.

"Whatever you say."

Santana bounced up and down and the headboard hit the wall over and over.

"You close?" She asked, and he nodded in response.

What happened next was something Santana would never live down. It would be something that would haunt her in her later years.

She could barely hear the door knob turning, but by the time she registered what was happening, it was too late.

"Santana, are you- Oh my god!"

That voice.

_That voice._

Quinn was home.

Santana stopped bouncing on top of Puck's cock. Her eyes widened in fear and her entire body froze. She couldn't believe it.

No.

No, god, please no.

This was _not_ happening.

Her dads girlfriend just walked in on her having sex.

The girl that she was fucking to forget walked in on them!

She was screwed for life.

A hand grabbed her shoulder, and Santana instantly recognized it as Quinn.

Quinn pushed her off of Puck gently yet forcefully. Santana's back hit the mattress. She looked down, ashamed to meet Quinn's eyes. Hurriedly, she grabbed the blankets from the floor and lifted them up to cover herself. She shut her eyes and wished the whole thing away.

"You. Get dressed. Right fucking now!" Quinn hissed, and Santana knew that she was talking to Puck.

Quinn would never speak to her like that.

Santana was so embarrassed, and still so turned on. She never orgasmed, and she knew that Puck was probably still unbelievably hard.

Tears spilled out of her eyes and slowly, she allowed them to open to see what was happening.

Puck was desperately searching for his clothes. He was tripping over his own feed as he put on his jeans and his shirt.

The man faced Quinn with a brave face, but it was clear to Santana that he was terrified of her. Good. He should be.

Quinn took a fistful of his mohawk and silently, she dragged him out of the room. She left the door wide open, so Santana could hear everything.

Once she was left alone, she scrambled out of the bed to find some clothes. Santana felt like a dirty whore. She felt absolutely worthless. Funny, because 10 seconds ago, she felt amazing.

Santana slipped some panties on, as well as her bra. After finding her top, she put that one too. She then walked towards her door and tried to listen to Quinn, because she knew that the blonde would say something to Puck. She would never let the boy go without shouting some horrible words to him.

"Listen hear, you fucker," she started, and Santana cringed. "If I _ever_ see you in this house again, I will not hesitate to rip off your balls and feed them to a dog. You do not go near Santana again, you hear me?"

Silence.

"You hear me?!" She shouted.

"Y-Y-Yes m-ma'am," Puck weakly responded.

Santana could hear Quinn scoff at his response. "God, what does she even see in you? You're weak. You're fragile. And you're fucking scum. She is way too good for you, and I will not sit and watch while you ruin her life." Quinn took a pause before adding, "she is the most beautiful thing on this planet, and if your 5 inch cock goes anywhere near her again, you're dead."

And with that, the front door slammed.

Santana assumed that Puck was gone.

Her breath hitched as she ran back to her bed and sat down. Nervously, she waited for the footsteps. She knew that Quinn would have something to say to her, too. She always did.

Soon enough, the footsteps came, and Santana's eyes filled with tears.

Before she knew it, Quinn was standing in her door way. Her face looked angry, but her eyes looked sad. Disappointed almost.

Santana knew that whatever came out of Quinn's mouth next would break her heart. She didn't want Quinn to be disappointed in her. She didn't want Quinn to be angry at her. Santana prepared herself for the absolutely worst.

However, instead, Quinn wordlessly grabbed the door handle, left her room, and shut the door behind her.

Santana gasped and her eyes quickly filled with tears.

Quinn didn't say anything. She just walked away.

And that was way worse than anything she could have possibly said.

With the image of Quinn's disappointed eyes, Santana shut her own and sobbed miserably.

* * *

**Another one of my favourite chapters. We have jealous Quinn, sweet Quinn, Brittany friendship, and some Pucktana. **

**This chapter has everything!**

**See you next Sunday!**


	11. Silent Hormones

**CHAPTER 11**

**Thank you all for the amazing feedback. This fic, which is still being written, has more reviews and followers than my last, completed fic. So thank you all!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

When Santana was 10, she broke her leg whilst riding a bike. She thought that was the worst day of her life.

When she was 12, her mom ran out on her family. She thought _that_ was the worst day of her life.

At 15, Brittany stopped talking to her because Santana accidentally made a rude comment about bisexuals. She thought that was the worst day of her life.

But all those times, she was dead wrong.

At 16, someone she never intended to like, was ignoring her. Quinn wouldn't even make eye contact let alone speak to her. _That _was the worst day of her life.

And what bothered Santana the most, was that she didn't _want_ to be so affected by this. Quinn ignoring her shouldn't bother her in the slightest, but Santana could literally feel it eating at her heart. She craved Quinn's words and comforting touches. She needed those hazel eyes on her, and for those gorgeous lips to twitch upward in that devilish smirk.

You know that saying 'you don't know what you have till it's gone?' That's how she feels. For the past 3 weeks that she's known Quinn, Santana was agitated by everything about her. She hated her smirk, she hated her condescending attitude, and she hated that everything she said got under Santana's skin. But now that the blonde was ignoring her, Santana missed all of those things.

She would pay to hear Quinn say a crude comment, or even make a nasty insult about Puck. Santana missed her, and she hated that.

She didn't want to miss her.

Santana never allowed herself to get close to people because she stopped believing in love a long time ago. She stopped believing in love the moment Maria walked out that front door and never returned.

Now, Santana isn't saying that she is in love with Quinn. Not at all, not even a little bit. However, she is connected with the woman in a way that is passionate and fiercely powerful. The intensity of her connection with Quinn scares the Latina most of the time.

She never wanted to like her.

But she did.

* * *

When Quinn left her room on Monday night, Santana completely broke down. She lost control of herself and her morals and let herself cry.

It seemed like lately, all Santana has been doing is crying, and she absolutely hates it.

The day Maria left, Santana promised herself that she would never care about someone enough to cry over them. And up until 3 weeks ago, she had succeeded in that promise. But then Quinn showed up and got under her skin and the rest is history.

Is it her blonde hair? Is it that contagious smile? Or is it the fact that she's so damn mysterious? Whatever the reason, Santana couldn't shake her.

It wasn't until about 3:30 that she eventually calmed down and cried herself to sleep.

By 7:30, she was waking up for school. Her eyes were still dreadfully swollen, but as always, Santana made it work.

The brunette continued through her regular morning routine. Except this time, her stomach was twisting in the most uncomfortable way. She felt like she was going to throw up. Santana was absolutely petrified to see Quinn.

She had no idea what to expect.

When the silence set it, Santana took a moment to think about her actions.

Yesterday was a pretty difficult day. Santana tried to talk to Brittany and confess to her emotions and feelings, but Puck interrupted before she could get the words out. He made a comment about Santana being a lesbian, and in that moment, her entire world stopped.

It was in that moment that Santana realized how life changing it would be if she were gay. Nothing would be the same. She would have to come out to her dad, her friends, her entire world. She would no longer be Santana Lopez: HBIC and head cheerio. From that moment on, she would be Santana Lopez: lesbian. No one would see her as anything else, and that was heart breaking.

Santana was so much more than her sexual preference. Well… her undecided sexual preference.

Because what _was_ she? Sex with Puck was amazing. It was such a thrill, and he definitely knew how to satisfy her. But spending 10 minutes with Quinn aroused her so much more than sex with Puck, and that was definitely a problem. Actually, there were more problems. For starters, Quinn was 14 years older. She's also her dads very serious girlfriend. But that's only naming a few.

Santana can't be gay.

So when Puck labelled her, he hit a nerve. Her entire life snapped back into focus, and she remembered who she was. She was Santana Lopez, and she had far too much to lose. She was not about to throw it all away for a pretty blonde with an amazing ass.

Truthfully, Santana couldn't even remember bringing Puck home with her. It was an impulsive decision. He called her gay, she denied it, and the next thing she knew, he was throwing her on her bed and they were both naked.

Sleeping with Puck was her way of apologizing to herself for ever doubting who she was. She was straight, and feeling his cum enter her would be the perfect way to remind herself of that.

However, that clearly didn't work out so well.

Quinn's face when she walked in on them broke Santana's heart. Hazel eyes looked like a mix between total rage and disappointment. It hurt to know that Santana disappointed the blonde.

But she never meant for Quinn to find out, let alone walk in on them. She thought they had a few more minutes before Quinn came home, but clearly, she miscalculated.

And now, she has to deal with the consequences.

Once dressed in her cheerio uniform, Santana hesitantly walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen. Once again, it didn't smell of freshly baked breakfast. She couldn't even smell coffee.

A part of Santana wondered if Quinn decided to sleep in and not bother driving Santana to school.

When Santana turned the corner, there she was. She was sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the newspaper, and ever so innocently drinking a glass of water.

It was so… domestic. And so wrong.

Any other morning, Quinn would be humming under her breath and dancing all around the kitchen. She was a ball of fun and absolutely adorable in the morning. But this morning, she was someone that Santana didn't even recognize.

And the worst part? Even after Santana cleared her throat to announce her presence, Quinn didn't move an inch.

Santana was being ignored.

That day was the worst day; the day that Quinn Fabray pretended she didn't exist.

Santana always believed that Quinn was overreacting, but of course, she would never voice that opinion. Clearly, fucking Puck was the worst thing she could have possibly done. She would never understand why Quinn was so hurt by it. Quinn didn't own her. Santana didn't belong to her. In fact, Santana was a teenager with raging hormones, and because of that, and her single status, she should be allowed to do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted.

So why did it bother Quinn?

"Morning," Santana muttered, waving her hand awkwardly. But again, Quinn didn't budge.

Santana quickly felt tears forming in her eyes, and she hated herself for being so damn sensitive.

For the first time in her life, Santana knew what it felt like to be invisible.

Her whole life, people loved and admired her. She had followers and fans, but not once did she have someone flat out ignore her. And that was another reason why Quinn got under her skin.

Santana cleared her throat and walked over to the table. She stood on the other side of Quinn, desperate for the blonde to acknowledge her.

"Look, Quinn… About last night-" before she could finish her thought, Quinn stood up from the kitchen table, grabbed her keys, and left the house.

Santana took that as the invitation to leave. Sighing heavily, she followed Quinn out the front door and got into the car. The car ride was a whole 15 minutes of silence. Not even the radio could drown out the tension. Santana felt like crying, but she also felt like screaming.

She was so confused.

* * *

It was hard to focus in class. Between Berry raising her hand every five seconds, Puck texting her every 10 seconds, and Santana thinking about Quinn every 15 seconds, there was no time for her to focus on the lesson. Truth be told, most of the time, she forgot what class she was in.

But by the time the lunch bell rang, she was relieved.

Santana walked down the halls, smiling softly at the image of people parting like the red sea for her. It was nice to know that she still had some power and control over the students. Sure, she was struggling on the inside, but she was a pretty good actress. People still feared her.

When Santana made it to her locker, a certain bubbly blonde was standing there. Brittany had her arms crossed and a knowing look on her face.

"Good afternoon to you, too," Santana said slightly sarcastically, as she unlocked the locker and opened it up. She went through her books and replaced what she needed with what she no longer needed.

"Don't give me that."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and turned to face her best friend. "Who peed in your cheerios?"

Brittany's eyes softened slightly as she let out a soft chuckle. "No one. Sorry. I'm just… curious as to why Puck is bragging about the sex you two had yesterday."

Santana's face dropped.

"Seriously, San? I thought you were done with him. Done as in finished. As in friends without the benefits."

The Latina nodded slowly and shut her locker. "It's… complicated, B. A lot more complicated than what you probably think."

Brittany let out a soft chuckle. "Then explain it to me."

"It's a long story."

Blue eyes rolled annoyingly. "Then I guess it's a good thing that our lunch is an hour. Come on. I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything."

Santana looked over at Brittany and she felt that uneasy feeling in her stomach again. Nausea. Santana knew that she had to tell Brittany everything. She wanted to tell her yesterday, but that got interrupted. So maybe now was her chance. She exhaled softly and groaned. "Okay, fine. Bleachers?"

Brittany nodded eagerly, and together, they walked to the most deserted area in the entire school.

They both sat down, and Brittany didn't say a word. She simply crossed her legs, grabbed her own hand, and waited patiently. She was waiting for Santana to start talking.

"God, Britt, I don't even know where to begin," Santana complained, rubbing her forehead.

"From the beginning. Like a fairy tale. Oh! If it makes things easier, you can start with 'Once upon a time in a land far away…'" Brittany giggled softly, causing Santana to do the same.

Once the laughter faded, Santana began talking. "Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a girl. Now, this girl grew up knowing one thing for certain: she wanted a Prince to save her from this travesty known as Earth." Santana could feel her bottom lip beginning to quiver as she told the story. "This girl, lets call her Santana," that earned her a giggle from Brittany, and Santana smiled because of it, "gave up on that dream when her mother left. Since then, Santana stopped believing that she would find her Prince Charming. When Santana's dad moved on and found a new girlfriend, Santana was skeptical. She didn't want a new mom. In fact, all she wanted was her old one back. Turns out, this new woman, lets call her Quinn, turned out to be pretty awesome. She is beautiful, funny, and makes Santana feel pretty special sometimes. Because of this, Santana's dream is beginning to blur. She's not so sure if she _ever _wanted a Prince to come and save her. In fact, her knight in shining armour never really had a gender. But now that she's met Quinn, Santana can't think of anyone saving her besides the blonde with bright hazel eyes and a beautiful smile." After finishing the sentence, Santana felt a tear drop on her cheek. "B-B-Brittany I'm s-so confused," she whispered desperately. Suddenly, two strong arms were wrapped around her, and Santana recognized them as a hug. "She's so amazing, and I know that I shouldn't like her, but I do. I like her and it scares the fuck out of me. A-And Puck called me g-g-gay and I just… I f-flipped out. I w-w-wanted to convince myself that I w-was still straight, so I b-brought him home. And it just happened. I didn't m-mean to sleep with him again, but I just wanted to p-p-prove a point. But all it did was confuse me even more. God, what do I do?" She weeped desperately.

Brittany's hands continued rubbing up and down her arm and on a regular day, it would have helped calm Santana down, but at this point, she was so far gone that nothing could help. "Woah, slow down Santana. So, let me get this straight… you like Quinn?"

Santana nodded weakly against her.

"Sexually or romantically?"

Silence.

Santana hadn't even thought about that. Was she interested in Quinn romantically? Or did she strictly want to intimate with her? Both were pretty gay options, but clearly, one answer was less scary than the other.

Thinking about it, Santana's interest mostly revolved around the fact that Quinn had managed to turn her on without even touching her. So sexually. She was interested in Quinn sexually. But just because that answer was less scary didn't make it any less gay.

"Sexually," she muttered out.

Brittany nodded. "Wow," she whispered. "That is… not exactly surprising."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and pulled away. "What?!"

The blonde smiled softly. "San, even when you claimed to hate the woman, you talked about her _all the time._ It was like you were obsessed! I always thought that maybe you had a tiny girl crush on her, but I guess tiny isn't exactly the word you would use to describe it."

The Latina banged her head against Brittany's arm and groaned loudly. "Do you think I'm gay?"

Brittany took a while before she responded. "It doesn't matter what I think. It's about what you feel on the inside. What do _you _think you are?"

"Troubled."

The blonde sighed heavily. "You're not troubled Santana. You're… lost, and you're confused. But that's completely normal."

Santana nodded against her arm. "I mean… I'm attracted to Quinn, but I'm also attracted to Puck."

"I'm not going to put a label on anything and neither should you. I think for now, you just need to… separate yourself from both of them. Sleeping with Puck and flirting with Quinn is only going to confuse you more. I think you should take some time to yourself and really think about what this means. The longer you keep this up, the harder it's going to be when you ultimately decide who you are."

Santana pulled back and wiped her tears as she miserably nodded. "I know," she whispered, licking her lips. "You're right. You're always right."

Brittany chuckled. "You're the only person who thinks so, but thank you. Oh, and San?"

Santana looked up.

"You know that nothing between you and Quinn can happen, right? I know that she's bisexual, and she very well may be flirting with you, too, but that is a line you can't cross. She is with your dad. No matter what happens, family comes first. You understand that, right?" Brittany looked genuinely concerned.

The Latina nodded slowly. "Yeah. I know."

Brittany smiled softly, not quite convinced, but she accepted it. "Thank you for telling me everything, San. I love you, you know?"

Santana reached out and hugged Brittany tightly. "Thank you for listening. I love you, too."

* * *

Surprisingly, talking to Brittany about her issues, helped a lot. It felt like there was a giant weight lifted off her shoulders. Even though Santana hasn't gotten down to the bottom of her sexuality, the fact that she doesn't have to hide it from one of the most important people in her life is definitely a plus.

Going through this alone was the hardest part. But now, if something happens, she has someone to call.

But nothing will ever happen, because like Brittany said, that is a line that Santana refuses to cross. She would never hurt her father like that.

Santana was on her way home when Puck stopped her. Literally.

He stood in front of her in the hallway, blocking her from leaving through the front doors. "Can I help you?" She asked, slightly agitated with this persistence. She didn't answer a single one of his horny texts, and usually, he got the hint.

"Hey, babe."

Santana closed her eyes and sighed. "Puck, I thought we've been through this. I'm not interested in you in that way. We can't be together."

Puck chuckled at that. "Could have fooled me with the way you were moaning yesterday."

"Can we not talk about yesterday?" she begged.

Puck smirked. "I knew neither of us got to orgasm, but you can't honestly tell me that you didn't have a good time?"

Santana sighed heavily, and shrugged. "That's not the point."

His smirk only widened at her confirmation of having a good time. Great, she could practically see his ego growing twice in size. "Tell me you don't want to see me again and I'll back off."

Santana looked both ways and rolled her eyes at the people crowding around to listen to their conversation. "I don't want to see you again," she flatly said.

He chuckled at that. "Yeah, right."

"Okay, fine, don't believe me. But if you keep following me, Quinn won't hesitating in following through with her threats. Can you seriously tell me that you're not afraid of her?" She asked, genuinely shocked that he was still trying to get in her pants after the horrible words Quinn yelled at him.

As they spoke, the two of them walked outside. Santana wasn't comfortable having this conversation in front of the whole school, so the two of them stood outside and spoke casually. "Blondie? Nah. She's half my size. Besides, if she laid one of her dainty fingers on me, I'd break it."

A protective side of Santana flared up uncontrollably. "And if you touch her, I'll break one of your precious nuts."

Puck let out a shocked laugh. "What is it with you girls and threatening to hurt my manhood? God. If I remember correctly, it was my cock that made you feel so deliciously good yesterday."

"Seriously Puck, just forget it." Santana was about to turn and leave, but he grabbed her wrist.

His face looked softer when she turned around to face him. "In all seriousness, I had a good time yesterday. Even with the threatening and the feisty blonde." He revealed his charming smirk. Puck's hand on her wrist softened, and his thumb stroked back and forth in an intimate way. "Why don't we try this again? Friends with benefits? And this time.. I promise not to get attached."

Santana chuckled softly and rolled her eyes fondly. "You and I both know that-" She was interrupted by a very familiar voice.

"Hey! Fucker! What did I say about you touching her?"

Santana's eyes widened, and she slowly turned around to see a very angry Quinn storming their way. Oh yeah.

Quinn usually picked her up from school and drove her home. She had probably witnessed that whole scene, meaning she saw Puck's hand on her wrist and she didn't seem too happy about it.

Puck instantly let go of her hand and his eyes widened in fear. If Santana wasn't so embarrassed, she would have laughed at his expression. He was totally afraid of her whether he denied it or not. "I wasn't.." he muttered out weakly.

Quinn walked over to him and stood right in front of him. She hovered over Puck threateningly, and once again she completely ignored Santana's presence.

"Quinn!" Santana hissed, her face turning beat red. This was humiliating. Santana didn't need a bodyguard. She was perfectly capable of handling herself.

Desperately, she reached out to grab Quinn and tug her away from Puck, but the moment her hand touched a pale elbow, Quinn turned around and glared at her. "Don't fucking touch me." Her words were angry and cruel, but her voice wasn't. In fact, the way Quinn spoke the words made it sound like a plea. She sounded desperate, not scary. Santana slowly moved away from Quinn.

Quinn turned back to Puck and without thinking twice, she kneed him in the groin.

Santana's eyes widened as Puck bent over, grabbed his crotch and screamed in pain. Quinn bent over and whispered something in his ear. Santana strained her head, desperate to hear what she was saying, but she couldn't make out a word. It frustrated her beyond belief, but she ignored it.

Instead, Santana turned around and ran back to the car. She was no longer upset. No, Santana was furious.

Quinn had _no _right to barge into her school, interrupt a private conversation, and knee her friend in the groin because he was holding her wrist.

Santana watched from the car as Quinn spoke to Puck, and she desperately wanted to know what she was saying. Was she threatening him? Or was she pouring her heart out?

Either way, Santana forced herself to look away and try to forget about it. Forget about her.

But of course, that was impossible.

Within 5 minutes, the car door opened, Quinn got inside, and it closed.

Santana wanted to scream. She wanted to throw so many insults Quinn's way and really get under her skin. She wanted to tell the blonde how immature she was being and how she had no right to do that, but instead, she stayed silent. She didn't say a word because she needed to be the bigger person.

Eventually, Quinn would talk to her again. And when they day came, Santana would say everything.

Well… almost everything.

But for now, they drove home in complete silence.

* * *

When she got home, all Santana wanted to do was lock herself in her room, drown herself in her music, and eventually fall asleep. But clearly, her family had other plans. Her father informed her that the three of them were going out for dinner at a fancy restaurant to celebrate his promotion.

Good for him, but he couldn't have had worse timing.

So here she is, dressed to the nine, and absolutely miserable.

Santana was wearing a Marlie Magalhaes black and white dress with black thigh highs and boots. Her hair was down and straight, and she was wearing a nude lipstick on her lips. She looked amazing, and she knew it. However, she didn't feel amazing. It was hard to feel amazing when the person sitting across from her wasn't even looking at her.

Quinn looked as beautiful as ever. She was wearing a high waisted, forest green skirt. Tucked in, was a yellow top, matched with a blue patterned scarf. With straight hair and brown ankle boots, she looked both casual and gorgeous. Santana envied her looks, and most of all, she hated that she couldn't voice the compliment.

Any other day, she would feel comfortable grabbing Quinn's hand and telling her that she looked pretty. But between the tension, and the scene at school, Santana didn't want to feed Quinn any compliments.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her father clinking his glass with his knife and smiling obnoxiously. "I'd like to make a toast," he announced.

Santana turned to look at him and smiled. He looked quite charming today in his plaid dress shirt, black vest and casual jeans. His hair was styled upward and with his dark rimmed glasses, he looked both fashionable and sophisticated.

Santana chanced a look at Quinn, and suddenly, there was a smile on the blondes face. Quinn had given Richard her full attention.

"To new beginnings, family, and my two favourite girls," he said, and clinked his glass against both of theirs. Richard happily downed his wine. Santana did the same with her water, and Quinn with her iced tea.

Once they all swallowed, Santana cleared her throat and crossed her legs.

"So how was school today, pumpkin?" Richard asked sweetly, turning to face Santana.

"Uneventful," she dismissed, and caught the way Quinn's jaw clenched.

From across the table, the blonde laughed. "Well that's not exactly true. Come on Santana, why don't you tell your _Papa_ about your _little _friend."

And there it was. Those were the first words Quinn spoke to her since she walked in on Puck's cock up her pussy. And the words were so hateful.

The way Quinn mocked the word 'Papa' and enunciated 'little' made Santana want to back hand her. However, hearing her name leave Quinn's lips made it all worth it.

She missed her voice. And she hated herself for missing her voice.

"Oooh, friend?" Richard cooed playfully.

Santana rolled her eyes and forced a smile as she faced it. "It's nothing, Papa. Honest."

He didn't look at all convinced, but he was willing to change the subject. Clearly, Quinn wasn't so eager to do the same. "I saw them talking outside of the school and they looked pretty cozy. What's his name again? Stick? Net? Ball?"

The Latina narrowed her eyes at Quinn, disgusted by her immaturity. "Puck," she filled in.

"Ahh, Puck, yes. He was holding her hand and everything. I'm telling you Rich, I think little Sanny might need to get the sex talk soon."

Santana's eyes bugged out of her head and she felt her stomach twist at the words. What was Quinn trying to do?

Richard's eyes widened as well as he turned to face Santana. "No, that's not possible." He placed a hand on Santana's shoulder. "She's only 16. Santana is no where near ready for sex."

Quinn laughed and Santana fingered the knife on the table, genuinely considering throwing it at her. "Well she is a teenager, dear," Quinn began, and her voice was so condescending. "Who knows what secrets she's keeping from you? She might not even be a virgin!" Quinn's voice was coming off as strictly innocent and somewhat playful, but Santana knew better. She could hear the edge in the blonde's voice.

Underneath the table, Santana kicked Quinn's foot. Hazel eyes met her and they darkened.

"San would never lie to me. We have an amazing relationship. Right, sweetie?"

Santana looked over at him and nodded weakly. "Yeah. Y-Yeah, of course!"

Quinn scoffed. "Like I said, she is a teenager, and teenagers have urges and hormones. I think, as a precaution, we should try to keep her separated from that boy."

There it was. The motive. Quinn was trying to turn Richard against Puck so that Santana would really be forbidden to see him. How low of her.

Refusing to hear anymore, Santana stood up from the table. "I need to use the washroom. Quinn, do you mind joining me? I'll need help doing up my dress." Santana placed a fake smile on her face, hoping that Richard didn't assume anything was going on.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow and was clearly holding back an eye roll. Eventually, she stood up and nodded.

Together, they walked towards the bathroom.

Santana was positively livid.

Walking towards the bathroom, Santana was getting a feeling of deja vu. The very first night that they met, they snuck off to the bathroom to have a heated argument.

It's funny how much has changed within the past 3 weeks.

That night, Santana hated Quinn because she thought she was a horny woman looking to mess up her fathers life. Now, she's mad at her because she continues to get under her skin and her immaturity is disappointing.

The moment the bathroom door shut, Santana went off. She knew there was no one else in the bathroom, so she didn't hold back.

"What the fuck is your problem!?" Santana screamed, pacing back and forth.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn denied cooly, having the nerve to lean again the door and blow on her nails like she is the queen of everything.

Santana scoffed at that. "Really? You're going to play dumb? Stupidity is not a good look for you, Quinn."

Quinn looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow. "Then what is a good look for me, huh?" She smirked and bit on her lip.

Santana's face softened for a split second before she snapped out of it. "No. I am not going to let you distract me from how angry I am."

"How angry _you_ are? Oh, that is rich!" She laughed.

"You have absolutely no reason to be mad at me!" Santana shouted back.

"I could say the same for you!"

"You literally spent the entire day ignoring me like a fucking 3rd grader, and then you ambush my friend and knee him in the groin! What the fuck is wrong with you, Quinn?" Santana shouted, glaring at her hotly. "I know that you're a lot younger than my father, but someone needs to tell him that he's dating a 5 year old."

Quinn looked up at her and glared into brown eyes. "He is not your friend, you hear me?"

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and laughed in disbelief. "Are you kidding me right now?" She shouted.

"He is _not_ your friend. Puck is simply a horny guy with a small cock that wants in your pants. And unfortunately, you're clearly the type of girl that'll give him what he wants. That does not make him a friend. Not in my book."

"I'm the type of girl that will give him what he wants?" Santana repeated. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Quinn shrugged. "Just that you're not the girl I thought you were."

Santana laughed. "Oh that's hilarious. I am not going to let you make me feel guilty for having a little fun. Seriously, what is your problem with him anyway?!"

"I don't want to see his dirty male hands all over you!" Quinn shouted.

The Latina rolled her eyes as she said, "oh so would you have rather walked in on me and Brittany fucking?"

Quinn's eyes darkened and her jaw clenched.

"Yeah, I bet that would have been better, huh? I bet you would rather have her fuck the living day lights out of me than Puck. Is that it?"

"Shut up," Quinn whispered as a warning.

"Like you said, she's a teenager with hormones. I bet she would totally sleep with me if I asked. Maybe I will tomorrow. Maybe we'll fuck in the janitors closet, because that's always been one of my kinks. Me and Puck fuck in there all the time." Santana was purposely saying these things, desperate to get a reaction out of Quinn.

She succeeded. Before she even knew it, Quinn pranced on her. Two strong hands grabbed her shoulders and roughly pinned her to the nearest wall. "I said shut up!" She screamed.

Santana let out a soft chuckle. "So that's what gets you going, huh? You're a perv and you want me all to yourself?"

Quinn licked her lips and dug her fingernails into Santana's shoulder.

"That's it, isn't it? You want me. And you're too chicken shit to admit it, so instead you sit in the background and whine and sulk over my happiness. Yeah, well you can go fuck yourself, Quinn!" Santana screamed in her face. "I'm as straight as a ruler, and I don't fuck people who are too immature to admit to their feelings."

Quinn's eyes roamed her body and Santana panted from screaming so hard. Eventually, the blonde spoke. "You're wrong," she simply said. She let go of Santana and slowly backed away.

"Right or wrong, it doesn't make much of a difference. The point is, you're mad at me for having sex when you said it yourself: I'm a teenager with raging hormones. What was I supposed to do, huh?!"

"Anything but fuck him!" Quinn shouted and Santana flinched at how loud she was.

"You're acting like a baby. You're supposed to be 14 years older than me. Were you seriously planning on ignoring me forever?"

"Just until you got the point."

"What point?"

Quinn looked up at her and then shook her head. "Forget it."

"No, tell me." Santana stepped away from the wall and walked towards her. "What point?"

"I said forget it," Quinn hissed.

Santana let out a laugh. "Typical. So typical. You don't have the fucking balls to say what's on your mind, do you?"

Quinn snapped her head towards her, and once again, she backed Santana into the wall. "Until you got the point that you've been driving me crazy." Quinn's voice wasn't angry anymore, but it still had a slight edge to it that managed to turn Santana on.

The Latina inhaled sharply and she felt her mouth go dry. "Crazy?" She whispered.

"I can't get you out of my head. I've tried _everything._"

Santana nodded, her eyes widened with the slightest fraction of hope.

Quinn's gaze looked down to Santana's lips and she licked her own. "All I've wanted to do is…"

"Do it." Santana begged.

Hazel eyes met brown ones, and Santana nodded just barely before Quinn's lips came crashing towards hers in the most passion filled and desperate kiss she has ever had in her life.

* * *

**AHHHH FINALLY. **

**I knew that this was how their first kiss was going to go since I started this fic. I hope it lived up to expectations. Of course, chapter 12 is going to continue with the kiss, so don't worry, there will definitely be some Quinntana sexy times. **

**See you next Sunday!**

**Review!**


	12. Lying About The Truth

**CHAPTER 12**

**This week was crazy busy, so I'm sorry for being a few hours late, especially after the cliff hanger last chapter. WARNING: There is A LOT of angst in this chapter. I did promise you guys some sexy times, and I have lived up to that promise. But sticking with Santana's hot heated attitude, I figured that their relationship consists of one step forward and three steps back. **

**Last chapter was definitely my favourite so far! I hope this one lives up to all of your expectations :)**

* * *

Kissing Quinn was everything Santana imagined and more. Feeling their lips pressed together aroused her more than Puck ever could.

Santana officially knew what it felt like to need someone so bad that she felt like she was going to explode. This was a fiery passion. It was desperate. Every moment leading up to this one was Santana denying herself in more ways than one.

She threw away her journal and tried her best to forget about what she wrote down.

She had sex with Puck so he could fuck the gay away.

She tried talking to Brittany, desperate for the girl to knock some sense into her.

And, she ignored Quinn, hoping that if she did, the feelings would eventually dissipate.

But of course, none of those tactics worked. Evidently, they only made her want Quinn more.

And now here they were, kissing in a public bathroom. The epitome of classy. But Santana couldn't find it in her heart to care, because for once in her life, she was kissing someone without the intention of stopping anytime soon. Now that she tasted Quinn's lips, she couldn't get enough.

The second Quinn lunged forward, Santana wasted no time in reciprocating. It felt so good to be kissed like that. Quinn had the tendency to kiss Santana like she was the only person on this planet.

It feel incredible.

Santana moaned into Quinn's lips and eagerly kissed her back. She felt a warm hand grabbed her hip and Santana felt as if the room was spinning.

This was what arousal was supposed to feel like.

Before she even knew what was happening, Santana was being backed into a wall.

Forceful Quinn was so hot.

This wasn't romantic. This wasn't sweet. This was urgent and desperate. If there was a bed in the bathroom, Santana didn't have a doubt in her mind that they would be on it. Everything about this kiss was rushed, and she loved every second of it. It felt so dirty.

Their lips continued to sloppily meet. Santana's hand slowly and hesitantly grabbed the back of Quinn's neck, rubbing and squeezing every so often. Santana was always very comfortable with her sexuality, however she couldn't help but feel completely terrified over this new turn of events. She was making out with a woman. A bisexual woman. A woman who is probably very talented between the sheets. It's intimidating.

This is Santana's first girl on girl experience, and she can't help but wonder if she's going to screw it up.

Slowly, a tongue brushed up against her bottom lip, causing her to completely forget about her doubts and concerns.

She opened her mouth to moan, and Quinn used that as an excuse to shove her tongue in her mouth and explore.

Santana couldn't help but reciprocate. For weeks she's subconsciously wondered what Quinn tasted like. This was her chance. Even if it was only for a minute, she refused to pass this opportunity up. So, slowly, she slipped her tongue out of her own mouth, and brushed it against Quinn's.

Quinn smirked against her, and it gave Santana confidence. She continued sucking face with Quinn while eagerly pulling her closer.

Quinn's hand on her hip tightened and slowly moved around to her lower back.

She was being possessed by the woman and it was the best thing in the entire world. Quinn has watched her have sex with Puck and pretend to be dating Brittany, so this was clearly the blonde's revenge. She was going to ravish her until their was nothing left. And Santana was perfectly fine with that.

Slowly, Quinn's hand slipped from her lower back to her ass. She grabbed a fistful and Santana gasped into her mouth.

"Ungf…" she moaned inside Quinn's mouth, causing the blonde to giggle against her. Who knew that Quinn was so deliciously talented?

Quinn continued to massage her ass and very slowly, the blonde's hips moved downward and onto Santana.

Santana eye's widened and her grip on the back of Quinn's neck tightened. It felt so good. Dizzyingly good. Overwhelmingly good.

And then she remembered who this woman was. She remembered her father and him sitting alone at the table while he waited for them to finish. She was such a horrible person. Santana was currently making out with her dads girlfriend. Her dad, who saved her from everything. What kind of daughter betrayed her father like that?

Santana grabbed a fistful of Quinn's hair and lazily pulled her away from her lips.

"Wait, wait.." she panted desperately, opening up her eyes and staring at Quinn.

Quinn looked satisfied beyond belief, and it only turned her on more. Her lips were bruised from all the kissing, her eyes were dark with arousal, and her hair was slightly tousled from Santana's grip. "No more waiting," she panted, going in to kiss her neck, "I've waited long enough." And with that, she began kissing Santana's neck.

Brown eyes rolled to the back of her head, and for a few moments, Santana allowed herself to forget.

Talented lips were sucking on her pulse point, and it was hard to be angry about that.

"God, Quinn.." She panted desperately, wrapping an arm around her and keeping her close.

At the sound of her name, the blonde rolled her hips onto Santana again and the Latina choked out a moan.

Quinn continued nipping and sucking on her neck and Santana could tell that the blonde was leaving a mark. She was marking her territory. This was Quinn's way of keeping Puck and Brittany away.

She was claiming her.

Santana never wanted to be claimed more than she did in that very moment.

She arched her back and her head banged against the wall in pleasure. Quinn continued peppering small kisses all along her neck.

Up her jaw.

Around her ear.

And eventually, back to her lips. Meanwhile, she was still continuing that delicious motion of her hips.

"Let me make you feel good," she hotly whispered against Santana's lips.

Santana's eyes fluttered open to see Quinn staring deeply at her. Their lips were just barely brushing against each other, and their bodies were practically glued together.

Santana was definitely hesitant. She wanted Quinn to make her feel good more than anything, but not while she was dating her dad. Not while he was a few feet away. "It's not right," Santana whispered, not sounding too convincing.

Quinn chuckled and smirked hotly. Santana growled and roughly captured Quinn's lips in another kiss.

Quinn appeared surprised by the movement, but happily kissed back. Her second hand reached down to grab another fistful of Santana's ass and eagerly, she lifted the Latina into her arms and against the wall.

Santana squealed at the action, but wrapped her legs around Quinn's waist, desperate to stay pressed up against the wall and in her arms. She continued kissing Quinn angrily before she pulled back and whispered, "you _need_ to stop smirking like that."

"Why?" Quinn asked with a knowing smirk. "Does it get your juices flowing?"

Santana sighed heavily and couldn't help but smile softly. How could she resist? This was the happiest she's been in a long time.

Since she was a 12, all she wanted was Quinn. And now she had her in a very compromising position. But it still didn't feel right.

"You look so sexy right now," Quinn said. Her voice was low and dangerous. She squeezed Santana's ass again and smirked up at her. "I was wondering how long it would take for you to crack. But I am _so _glad you did." Her voice sounded like a purr and it was making Santana want more. But she knew better than that.

She sighed and cupped one of Quinn's cheeks. "We should get back," she whispered softly.

Quinn pouted, shook her head and groaned. "No. No way."

Santana shifted uncomfortably in Quinn's arms and cleared her throat. "Can you put me down, please?"

"Not if you run away."

"I won't run away."

Quinn nodded and if Santana didn't know better, she would have sworn that she saw insecurity and worry behind hazel eyes. Was Quinn scared that Santana would just leave and pretend this never happened?

That was sort of hard to do after how alive Quinn just made her feel.

As promised, Quinn set her back down on the floor and Santana didn't run away. "We need to go back, Quinn," Santana reasoned.

Quinn tilted her head and sighed. Adorably, she stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. Irresistible. "So soon?"

"My Papa is going to worry," Santana reasoned.

At the mention of Richard, Quinn's eyebrows arched. It seemed that she forgot about the man and who he was to her. Quinn must have forgotten that she just cheated on her boyfriend with his daughter. "Can't we just hide away and make out for a little bit longer?" She charmed Santana with her smirk and the Latina giggled.

"No," Santana said with an admiring smile on her face.

"Pleaseeeeeee," Quinn dragged on, leaning in and ever so softly, pecking Santana's mouth.

Santana kissed back, but when Quinn tried to deepen it, she pulled away. "This is wrong," Santana whispered, but her voice cracked and made her sound less confident.

Quinn shook her head when she leaned away. "Does it feel wrong?"

Santana sighed heavily. "It doesn't matter how it feels. There's right and then there's wrong. This is wrong."

"Is it the age difference?"

"No, Quinn. It's not the age difference. It's the fact that you're dating my father! And…" Santana cut herself off before she said something she would regret.

"And what? Quinn pushed.

Santana shook her head. "Never mind."

"And what, Santana? Quinn's voice lowered slightly and it sounded so dangerous and so appealing.

Santana looked back up to meet hazel eyes as she slowly said, "and I'm not a lesbian."

Quinn let out an amused chuckle. When she realized that Santana was being serious, her smile faltered and her eyes widened in disbelief. "There is no way that you can look me in the eyes and say that after what we just did together."

"I was curious, that's all it was."

The blonde nodded bitterly and rolled her eyes, clearly not thrilled with Santana's words. "So what are you saying?"

Licking her lips nervously, Santana avoided Quinn's gaze. "I'm saying that this was a mistake. I'm better than this, and I would like to believe that you're better than this, too."

"So, what? The second we walk out of this bathroom, we both pretend that this didn't happen? Because I don't want that! It did happen and there is no way I'll be able to forget what you taste like." Hungrily, Quinn took a step closer to Santana and wrapped a possessive arm around her waist. "I need everyone to know who you belong to." Gently, she reached out and caressed the hickey on Santana's neck.

Santana winced at the feeling because the mark was still sensitive. "I don't belong to anyone, Quinn." Santana said, not making any move to lean away from Quinn's grasp.

"Come on, let's just hide away for a few more minutes and make the most of this moment while we can," Quinn propositioned with a wink as she leaned in and peppered Santana's neck with more kisses. "Puck can't touch you like I can," she whispered against Santana's hickey. "Brittany can't make you laugh like I can." She moved up to Santana's jawline. "I know you want me. Lesbian or not, you want me. Just give in, baby."

"Quinn.." Santana moaned hotly, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she allowed herself to appreciate the touch for a few more seconds.

Once again, she was backed up against the wall, and Santana was slowly coming undone. Her brain was messing with her and it wasn't fair.

She was not a lesbian.

But how come she was enjoying this so much?

She grabbed onto Quinn's hip and pulled her flush against her. Santana could feel the blonde smirk against her neck and slowly, she began grinding down on her.

"Oh god.." She hissed, biting down on her bottom lip so she wasn't too loud. It would be very awkward if the entire restaurant could hear them.

"So sexy.." Quinn complimented, her hand slowly trailing up Santana's stomach before she grabbed a fistful of her breast.

Santana's eyes widened at the touch as she barely muttered out a, "unfgh."

Quinn giggled against her, her hand slowly massaging the bump. "Enjoy it, baby. Don't think about anything else," she spoke calmly in Santana's ear.

But funnily enough, at those words, Santana couldn't allow her brain to shut up. All she could think about was how wrong this was. "Quinn, Papa is going to notice how long we've been gone. We have to go," she whined out.

"He won't notice, I promise." Quinn pulled away and stared intimately at Santana. "He's eating his dinner with a glass of wine. He couldn't be happier, trust me. When Richard drinks, nothing else matters." Once she was finished speaking, Quinn continued attacking Santana's neck.

Santana's eyes widened at that as she forcefully pushed Quinn away from her. "Wait, what?"

"I said he won't notice," Quinn explained, looking rather confused.

"No, after that."

"He's eating dinner and drinking wine. It's the perfect distraction."

Santana felt her eyes fill with tears out of fear and her bottom lip quivered. How could she be so blind? How could he be so stupid? How could she have let this happen to him. "Oh god.." She whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Quinn looked concerned as she approached her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "What? What is it?"

"He's an alcoholic, Quinn!" Santana snapped, covering her mouth with her hands. "I'm such an idiot.." she whispered.

Without thinking twice, Santana ran out of the bathroom and away from Quinn.

How could she forget? When Richard ordered a glass of wine, Santana didn't think twice about it. She looked over at him, he smiled charmingly, and she just… forgot.

He had been so good these past 4 years that the idea of a relapse didn't even cross her mind. But the truth is, he's an alcoholic. And alcoholics can't even have one sip of alcohol, because if they do, they won't be able to stop. She willingly allowed him to have a glass of wine because they were celebrating.

Santana hated herself.

She ran back to the table and there he sat, halfway through his second glass with a somewhat lazy smile on his face. "There you are! I was wondering where you ran off to." He wasn't slurring his words, so that calmed Santana down slightly. But that didn't change the fact that he had one and a half glasses of wine.

This was his first time drinking in 4 years. Santana was terrified of history repeating itself. She wouldn't let this happen to him.

"Papa, we're going home now," Santana urged forcefully.

Quinn ran up to the table as well, looking between Richard and Santana. Eventually, hazel eyes landed on his glass of wine, and Quinn inhaled sharply.

She must not have known he was an alcoholic.

"Now? But we just got here! We're celebrating!" He said with a goofy smile on his face. Eagerly, Richard lifted his glass and smiled at the two girls hovering over him. "To happy endings!" He said. As he directed the glass towards his mouth, Quinn instantly saved the day. She rushed forward, grabbed his glass, and downed the drink herself. The blonde winced slightly as the red liquid went down her throat and she coughed. Santana exhaled in relief and stared at Quinn appreciatively. "Hey!" Richard whined with an amused smile.

"Sorry, I'm just so thirsty." Quinn explained.

Richard rolled his eyes fondly.

"Come on, Papa." Santana grabbed his hand and lifted him up. Thankfully, he didn't fight it.

The three of them left the restaurant. Santana ended up driving home considering both of them were under the influence.

Once they all got home, Santana and Quinn walked Richard upstairs and into his bed. "Sleep it off, Papa. You'll feel better in the morning," Santana promised him, kissing his forehead.

She turned around and saw Quinn watching them by the doorframe. She had her arms crossed and a soft smile on her lips. Santana walked out of the room and towards her. "Thank you for helping him tonight. I like this side of you," Santana told her honestly, biting on her lip shyly.

"Don't get all shy on me, San," Quinn teased playfully. "But you don't have to thank me. It's my job," with a simple shrug, she smiled.

Santana was worried that Quinn was going to make another move, but it didn't appear that way. Maybe Quinn truly respected her decision to pretend it never happened. "Well, goodnight," Santana said, smiling softly.

Quinn smiled as well. She reached over and cupped Santana's cheek affectionately. She caressed her skin with her thumb and got lost in her brown eyes. "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning." And with that, Santana left the room and Quinn shut the door behind her.

* * *

Wednesday came and went with no problems. Surprisingly, the whole 'pretending it never happened' thing was working out. Maybe Santana really got Quinn out of her system.

Now that she got a taste, she would no longer wonder. Kissing her was the best decision she ever made, because now she would never wonder 'what if'. She knew.

Kissing Quinn was intoxicating and addicting, but it was over now. And Quinn seemed to agree.

She drove Santana to and from school without any issues. They spoke casually, smiled innocently, and neither of them brought of the events that went down in the bathroom.

Quinn didn't remind Santana that she grabbed her ass and her breasts. She didn't remind the brunette that she was the one who gave her the hickey, and she definitely didn't suggest that Santana was anything less than straight.

Santana didn't tell Quinn that she's wanted to kiss her since she was 12. She didn't tell the blonde that kissing her made her feel more alive than she ever has in her life, and she sure as hell didn't mention the fact that a few kisses and touches from Quinn turned her on more than sex with Puck did.

She was definitely in big trouble.

At school that day, she made sure to wear her cheerio's jacket so it could cover up her hickey. No one noticed.

After school, she saw her father drinking a coffee and clutching his head. He apologized with tears in his eyes and promised that it would never happen again.

Santana believed him.

* * *

On Thursday, things changed.

Breakfast was fine. They joked around as usual and avoided sexual jokes and intimate touches. Santana asked innocent questions, Quinn asked casual questions, and they enjoyed their time together.

However, on the ride to school, Quinn crossed the invisible boundaries they had made for themselves on Tuesday night.

"It's still pretty purple," she said, looking over at Santana for a moment before looking back on the road.

Santana looked at Quinn and furrowed her eyebrows. "What is?"

"The hickey."

Her eyebrows shot up and she almost choked on her. She completely forgot to cover it with make up today. Nervously, her hand shot up and covered over the bruise. "I forget to cover it up today," she said, her eyes panicky and worried.

Quinn chuckled lightly and shook her head. "Don't worry, it's fine. Besides, I like seeing my mark on you."

Santana swallowed nervously. This was dangerous territory. "It'll be gone in a few days," she casually said.

Without looking, Santana could practically _hear _Quinn's smirk. "Then I guess I'll have to give you another one. I don't want Puck thinking you're his to touch."

She shut her eyes and blushed. Santana couldn't believe they were actually having this conversation. They both agreed to forget about it and move on with their lives. "I'm not anyone's to touch. That includes you."

"We'll see about that."

Santana looked over at Quinn angrily, mad that she believed she could do whatever she wanted without any punishments. Quinn parked in front of the school and Santana was eagerly ready to get out of the tension filled car. A few more seconds, and she probably would have dragged Quinn into the back seat.

Wait, what?

Her cravings were supposed to be gone!

She wasn't supposed to be curious about Quinn anymore!

So what the hell was that all about?!

She swallowed nervously and unbuckled her seat belt. "Thanks for the ride," she said slowly and opened the car door.

"Wait," Quinn's voice interrupted her as she grabbed onto her wrist.

Santana turned to face her.

"Stop denying yourself pleasure. You want me, I want you. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that," she smiled softly at the Latina. "I'm not looking for romance. Truthfully, I never really believed in that kind of thing. You're 16. You deserve to have some fun, baby. And when you finally decide to treat yourself, I'm just a room away." She finished it off with a wink and that sexy smirk. "Have a good day at school. Flaunt that hickey, because believe it or not, you're mine."

Santana stood there in shock, her knee's feeling like they would give out at any moment. She listened to Quinn's words and felt her heart rate pick up. Once the blonde stopped talking, she nodded slowly, slammed the car door, and ran into the school.

Once she escaped Quinn, Santana felt more calm. Not only was she uncomfortable with how well Quinn knew her, but she was also uncomfortable with her raging hormones.

She was supposed to have Quinn out of her system. She wasn't supposed to still want her. Yet here she was, desperate for the blonde, and it was killing her.

School went by dreadfully slowly, and by lunch period, she was distracting herself with her best friend.

"So, are you going to explain that hickey to me, or were you going to wait until I asked?" Brittany said with a knowing smirk on her face.

Santana looked up at Brittany with arched eyebrows. "This?" She asked, touching her neck and wincing slightly. "Oh, it's from-"

"And don't say it's from Puck, because you and I both know that he's a little bit more creative with his placements."

She shut her eyes and exhaled slowly. "It's from Quinn."

Blue eyes widened in disbelief as she tilted her head. "No.." Brittany whispered, hoping that Santana was kidding. There was disappointment in her voice and Santana hated herself for being so stupid.

"It just happened!"

"A hickey doesn't just _happen_! A kiss just happens. A hickey is planned," she argued.

Santana groaned, ashamed of herself as she held her head in her hands. "I'm such a horrible person."

Brittany sighed and shook her head. "No you're not. You're just confused and vulnerable right now. You're also a teenager with raging hormones. This isn't exactly abnormal behaviour. Why don't you explain it to me so I can understand where you're coming from."

The Latina nodded. "Tuesday night we all went out to dinner to celebrate my Papa's promotion." Brittany's eyes lit up, seemingly happy to hear that. "Quinn had been ignoring me for a few days because she saw me and Puck together and got jealous. I was fed up with her immature behaviour, so I pulled her into the washroom and demanded answers."

Brittany arched her eyebrows as she sighed in disappointment.

"We fought for a little bit. She screamed, I screamed. It was just one big mess. And then she told me that I was driving her crazy and that she couldn't get me off her mind. I just… I cracked, Britt. I lost control and I just wanted her so bad. I lost touch of reality so I just… I just kissed her."

"_You _kissed _her?"_

Santana sighed heavily. "Well, not really. She implied that she wanted to, and I told her to do it. She kissed me first, but it was because I told her to."

Brittany nodded slowly and sighed heavily. "Then what?"

"You want all the details?"

"Scratch that. Spare me," Brittany groaned in disgust. "How did you leave things?"

Santana shrugged. "I thought we agreed to never speak of it again, but this morning, she was going on about how I should allow myself pleasure and freedom. She told me that if I wanted her, there should be nothing holding me back. She said that she still wanted me and that she knew I still wanted her."

"Is she right?"

Silence filled the table and Santana grumpily banged her head on the table. "Yes," she muttered.

Brittany shook her head. "Wow. I'm… I'm shocked. Santana, this is _not_ you. This is not the girl that I know and love. You've always told me that you're number one priority is your dad. What happened to that, huh? If he found out, he would be _crushed_ Santana! He's in love with this girl."

"I know that! You think I don't know that?" Santana screamed, lowering her voice slightly when people turned to look at her. "I know that I'm being an idiot and that I've crossed so many lines, but I can't help it! This…. T-This desire is boiling up inside of me and sometimes, it's becomes too much that I can't even control myself. I don't know w-what to do."

The blonde reached out and grabbed Santana's hand. "You need to shut her out."

"What?" Santana whispered.

"Separate yourself from all things Quinn. It's the only way to completely erase her."

"But.. I don't want to erase her."

"Santana," Brittany warned.

The brunette shook her head. "No. I do not want to forget about her. Brittany, as horrible as it sounds, she has made me feel more alive than I have in a long time. She excites me."

Brittany laughed at that. "She excites you because she's wrong for you! Everyone likes what they can't have. And that's the whole point, Santana. You _can't_ have her, and you can't do that to your dad."

Santana scratched the back of her head. "I know. But if he never finds out, what's the harm, right?"

"Are you even listening to yourself right now?! Santana, he _will_ find out. One way or another, he'll find out, and when he does, you're going to come running to me in tears. No good can come from this."

The Latina took a deep, steady breath in and her eyes slowly shut. "I w-want her so bad," she whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Brittany smiled sadly. "I know, S." She reached out and wiped away her tear. "But she's bad for you, and she's clearly bad for your dad. Don't let her bring you down to her level. You're better than this."

Santana nodded.

"Ignore her. Don't let her see that she has an affect on you. Don't let her win."

She nodded again and wiped her tears. "You're right. Thanks Britt."

* * *

She knew that Brittany was right. Brittany was almost always right. The blonde never got nearly enough credit for intelligence.

By being sexually involved with Quinn, she would be hurting her dear father.

By so much as _thinking_ of Quinn, she would be hurting her father.

She refused to do that to him. Not after everything that they've been through together.

So, from that point on, she would shut Quinn out. No thinking. No talking. No laughing. No touching. No nothing. She would treat the blonde like nothing but the woman dating her father. She would respect her, smile when necessary, and that would be that. No flirting.

When Quinn picked her up from school, the atmosphere had significantly changed.

"How was your day?" Quinn asked, trying to make conversation during the car ride home.

Santana shrugged and crossed her legs dismissively. "Uneventful."

Quinn nodded beside her and awkwardly cleared her throat. "Well that's good."

Neither of them said another word in the car, and Santana hated that she as being so cold. She wanted to joke around with the blonde and hear her laugh. She wanted to be a 16 year old without a care in the world. But clearly, she couldn't be so lucky.

When they got home, Santana simply stormed up to her room and slammed the door. She didn't want Quinn to think she was mad at her, but clearly, that was the only way. She wanted to give Quinn a giant signal that read 'I'M NOT INTERESTED.' And even though she was very much interested, Santana knew that it was for the best.

She just wished that Quinn couldn't read her as well as she could.

Her dad came home from work within a few hours and soon enough, they were all eating dinner at the table.

Thankfully, Richard was drinking a cold glass of water. She was very proud of him. When Santana sat down beside him, she kissed his cheek and smiled at him.

How could she ever consider hurting him? He has done so much for her these past 4 years and he deserves a daughter who will have his back every step of the way. And that's who she wants to become.

Santana hated who she became when she was aroused by Quinn. She was selfish and she was horny and impulsive. Quinn was a bad influence.

At dinner, Richard sat beside Santana, and Santana sat across from Quinn.

They mostly ate in silence, but every once in a while, someone would start a new conversation starter.

"So, Papa, how was work today now that you have a promotion?"

Richard smiled adoringly over at Santana. "It was very nice, sweetie. I have my own office now, and I think they're considering getting me an assistant."

Both Santana and Quinn's eyebrows shot up.

"Wow, sweetie, that's great," Quinn complimented. "I'm so proud of all your hard work."

The man smiled, clearly proud of himself as they all continued eating.

A foot brushed up against Santana's and for a moment, she brushed it off as an accident. It's happened before, so she didn't want to jump to conclusions when it was just an innocent mistake.

However, when that same foot wrapped around her ankle and travelled up and down her calf, Santana knew that it was intentional. She cleared her throat awkwardly, afraid that she was going to choke on her water.

Nervously, she glanced up at Quinn, only to see the blonde smirking at her. She just didn't know when to give up. Santana bit on her bottom lip and kicked Quinn under the table, desperate to stop.

If Quinn continued, she was going to have a panic attack, draw attention to themselves, and they were going to get caught. This was do or die.

"You okay, angel?" Richard as softly when Santana had a look of discomfort on her face.

"Yeah, you okay, angel?" Quinn repeated with a sensual smirk on her face.

That bitch. She _knew _what that smirk did to Santana, and that's why she was doing it. "Y-Yeah. Y-Yup. I am A-Okay." She said miserable and licked her lips. "Actually, can I be excused? My stomach hurts."

Quinn's smirk faltered at that, and Richard frowned softly. "Of course. Sorry to hear that."

Santana smiled at him, stood up and turned around to leave. Before she went up the stairs, she glared at Quinn. She needed the blonde to know that PDA at the dinner table was not okay with her. That was a close call, but next time, they might not be so lucky.

No. There will not _be _a next time. Santana will make sure of it.

* * *

The privacy of her own room was comforting. Her bed was calling to her and Santana miserably got on it. Easily slipping under the covers, a wave of calmness instantly fell over her. She couldn't believe what was happening to her.

Just 3 and a half weeks ago, she was as straight as a ruler, fucking Puck on a daily, and remaining the worlds most loyal daughter. But now, she's sexually confused, she broke things off with Puck, and she made out with her dads girlfriend.

How could so much have changed in just under a month?

She never wanted things to be like this. This was never what she wanted.

Santana just wish she had her Mama here to help her.

Without thinking twice, she grabbed her phone and called Maria. She just needed to hear the woman's voice. Even if she hated her for leaving, Santana loved her mother more than anything. Just hearing her voice would calm her down, and Santana needed to get her thoughts in order.

She held the phone to her ear and listened to it ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?"

Santana inhaled sharply. No matter how many times Maria picked up that phone, it would always catch her off guard. She missed her mothers voice dearly.

It's been far too long since she's seen the woman and Santana is beginning to go crazy without her. There are some things that only a mother can help her with.

"Hello?" Maria repeated again. "Unless you want to man up and say something, don't call here again."

"M-M-Mama.." Santana whimpered, covering her mouth after the word left her lips. She never intended on responding.

She didn't want to say anything. She wanted to stay silent and listen to Maria speak, but she blew it. Her cover was blown.

Silence filled the phone and Santana felt tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Santana..?" Maria whispered softly.

At hearing her mother whisper her name, Santana broke down into a fit of tears. She didn't want the woman to know the affect she had on her, so she simply hung up and placed her phone on the counter.

Miserably, she fell back onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow. Why did things have to be so screwed up? Why couldn't she just be happy?

* * *

A few hours passed when she heard knocking at her door.

"Go away, Papa!" She called out, definitely not in the mood to deal with anyone.

"It's Quinn."

Santana shot up on her bed, eyes wide. She looked like shit, she was sure of it. Her hair was ratted and messy, her make up was probably running, and her eyes were most definitely swollen from all the tears.

This was not good.

But then again, Santana wasn't necessarily interested in impressing Quinn anymore, so she told herself to stop caring so much about how she looked.

"Come in," she decided.

The door opened and in came Quinn, looking as beautiful as ever. Looking over at the clock, it was almost 11 pm. Santana wondered what Quinn was doing awake, let alone coming into her room.

The blonde shut the door behind her and walked into her room. She looked around as if she's never seen it before and nodded slowly. "You ran out of dinner faster than I could even finish my drink," she commented.

Santana chuckled awkwardly and nodded. "I wasn't feeling too well."

Quinn didn't look convinced but she nodded. "I figured it was because I was making you feel uncomfortable."

"That, too."

Quinn didn't respond to that. She nodded, clearly taking the hint. She looked back up at Santana and looked slightly confused. "Are you okay?"

Santana blushed under her gaze and looked away. She knew that it was probably painfully obvious that she had been crying. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look like you've been crying." Without permission, Quinn walked over to the bed and sat down beside Santana.

"It's because I have been."

Quinn looked down and for a moment, she looked sad. She must have thought that Santana was crying over her."Look, San, I don't want to come off too strong, but I feel like that's the only way I can get a reaction out of you."

Santana sighed heavily and shifted on her bed. _Remember what Brittany told you, Santana. Stay true to yourself and stay loyal to your father._ She refused to crack at the presence of the blonde.

"Is sex with my father _that_ bad or are you just a terrible person?" Santana asked sternly.

"Excuse me?"

"You've been apart of this family for less than a month and you're already tearing us apart!" Santana hissed. She wanted to lower her voice because if she was too loud, her father would hear them, and they would be doomed.

Quinn scoffed. "I am doing nothing of the sort."

Santana laughed at that as she rolled her eyes. "As far as I'm concerned, you are not welcome here anymore. I will not sit by and watch as you fuck my father, and attempt to get into my pants. You don't get to have us both."

The blonde licked her lips and rolled her eyes. "That's funny. I wasn't aware that I _had_ you both."

The Latina stumbled over her words as she attempted to correct herself. "Y-You don't. Not anymore."

Quinn chucked. "Look, Santana, stop overreacting, okay? You're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Just have some fun and loosen up a little." Her hand reached out and grabbed Santana's knee.

Santana slapped it away. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of my room right now before I scream and wake up my dad."

Quinn jumped up from the bed and Santana could feel her heart breaking. She didn't want Quinn to go. She wanted her to stay and kiss her. What Santana really wanted was for Quinn to kiss away the memories of her mothers voice. She wanted to make her forget every horrible thing that's happened to her. But Brittany was right. She had to choose between the blonde and her father. And every time, she would pick Richard.

"I was just kidding around," Quinn explained, lifting her hands up defensively as she walked towards the door. "I hate seeing you so sad, Santana. I'm not deaf. I can hear you crying yourself to sleep almost every night and it breaks my heart. No one your age should be so sad. I just want to see you smile. I don't know why you keep resisting me."

Santana felt her bottom lip quiver. Quinn could be so sweet when she wanted to be, and Santana hated herself for what she was going to say next. She didn't mean any of it. "My life is none of your business. I was perfectly happy before you waltzed into my life and fucked with my brain. I am _not _a lesbian. I am _not_ attracted to desperate older women, and I do _not_ want you touching me without my consent. Stay the fuck away from me."

Quinn's eyes widened at the words that were spilling out of Santana's mouth. The Latina was also crying as she spoke because truthfully, she meant the exact opposite of everything she said.

She was bisexual. She is most definitely attracted to everything about Quinn; especially her age. And she wants Quinn to touch her whenever she can.

But she had to make a choice, and it'll haunt her forever.

"Okay." Quinn whispered, nodding. "I'm sorry, I won't bother you again. Just… let me say goodbye?"

Santana didn't know what she meant by that, but she nodded anyway. She needed a proper goodbye.

Quinn stormed over, grabbed the back of Santana's neck, and crashed their lips together.

Santana instantly melted against her lips and her eyes fluttered shut. This would be the last time she would ever kiss her. She promised herself that. So she was going to enjoy it.

Santana grabbed onto Quinn's cheek and eagerly kissed her back.

Their tongues met hotly and fought for dominance. Quinn happily won. It was so passionate and so perfect. It was everything a kiss should be. Santana caressed Quinn's cheek just as the blonde pulled away. "I'll see you in the morning," Quinn whispered before she left the room and shut the door behind her.

The sound of the door closing made Santana fall into a fit of tears.

And once again, she cried herself to sleep.

She just wanted to be happy.

And the truth was: Quinn made her happy.

* * *

**HOPE YOU LIKED IT.**

**This chapter was hard for me to right because I didn't know what direction I wanted to take it after the kiss. I figure that some of you will be disappointed, but as I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, Quinn and Santana will almost always be 'one step forward and three steps back'. They're characters are both very stubborn and hot headed, so it didn't seem realistic to bring them together after their first kiss. **

**However, I hope that you all trust me. I have some great things planned. **

**Review Review Review!**


	13. Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

**CHAPTER 13**

**Good news! We reached 200 reviews! This chapter is dedicated to Onceforthefun for the being the 200th reviewer! They requested that I update this one day earlier and that I kill Richard in a car accident. Unfortunately, the latter seems unlikely, but the former was definitely something I took into consideration. I wrote all day Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but it wasn't ready in time! I wanted this chapter, just like all chapters, to be perfect, and I felt that if I rushed it, it wouldn't be satisfying. **

**Thank you everyone for the reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter, lovelies.**

* * *

Santana didn't realize that shutting Quinn out would be so impossibly hard. When she told herself that she would ignore the blonde and push away her desires, she didn't understand what she was getting herself into.

Feelings aren't avoidable. There isn't a switch that can just turn on or off. If there was, Santana would have turned it off a long time ago. She would have turned it off the second she locked eyes with mysterious hazel at the coffee shop. That day, everything changed, and she had no idea. And now, she's stuck with feelings towards the woman and no way of escaping it.

It's been 4 days since they said 'goodbye'. That means, its been just over a month since they met. Those 4 days were the most difficult days of Santana's life, and that's saying a lot because she's been through hell and back. Waking up every morning to the smell of gourmet breakfast without saying thank you, sitting in a car for 15 minutes without conversation, and having dinner without making eye contact. It was all torture.

But Santana knew that it was necessary.

Quinn was like her addiction. She's grown so used to the blonde being around, and Santana has slowly become addicted to the attention and the taste of her lips. But in order to quit, she has to separate herself from all things Quinn. Even the tiniest moment of eye contact could cause a relapse. So, she's shut the blonde out entirely.

And with the help of Brittany, Santana has learned to accept the inevitable.

Quinn was wrong for her.

Santana did everything possible to ignore the girl for the past 4 days. She slept over at Brittany's, she went to house parties, she had study dates, and she even went out on morning jogs. She hated jogging. But anything to avoid the sexy appearance of Quinn Fabray in the morning.

Thankfully, the weekend had come and gone, and she was heading back to school on a Monday morning, November 7th.

Her eyes fluttered open and Santana took a deep breath in. She sat up on her bed, yawned tiredly, and stepped out from under the covers. She could already smell breakfast.

That was one thing that Santana always appreciated; despite the fact that they no longer communicate with one another, Quinn still makes her breakfast every morning. The blonde could really be sweet when she wanted to be.

As always, she checked her phone before doing anything else. There was a sweet little message from Brittany saying, "i heard that the first 7 days are the hardest in getting over someone. 2 more days to go!"

Santana chuckled fondly at the message and shook her head. Brittany's math was always a little off. In reality, there were 3 more days left until they hit one week, but she wouldn't burst Brittany's bubble by correcting her.

After changing into her cheerio uniform, brushing her teeth, and pulling her hair back into a tight ponytail, Santana walked downstairs towards the kitchen.

Quinn was standing there wearing baggy sweat pants and a grey top. She looked casual and as beautiful as ever. It really sucked not being able to say anything to her.

But this was their agreement. If they couldn't be together, they couldn't be anything. It's strange, really. For someone who doesn't believe in relationships and love, Santana is really eager to have Quinn all to herself.

She's not saying that she's in love with the blonde, far from that, but she would definitely like to have Quinn completely without having to worry about anyone else. But of course, life couldn't be that simple. She's not that lucky.

And now, with Quinn looking so… untouchable, it was becoming harder and harder to ignore her presence. But, she did her best.

Santana walked into the kitchen casually, making herself a cup of coffee. She took an eager sip and sat down at the the kitchen table, waiting for her food to finish. Quinn delivered the plate in front of her, and it killed Santana not to say 'thank you', but she refrained. 'Thank you' would lead to 'you're welcome'. And 'you're welcome' would lead to 'so how have you been?' So instead, she stayed silent and eagerly ate her breakfast.

The ride to school was even more awkward because Quinn did this thing where she refused to drown out the silence with music. So they drove to school without the radio playing and without either of them speaking. It was dead silent. Every time Santana fidgeted in her seat, it sounded like there was a microphone on her clothes.

When the car parked in front of her school, she ran out faster than Quinn could even take her hands off the steering wheel.

* * *

"I am going out of my mind, Britt!" Santana complained, pacing back and forth in the girls bathroom. They kicked everyone else that was inside so they had their privacy.

Brittany was sitting on the counter, swinging her legs back and forth as she watched Santana. "Only a few more days of the silence and eventually, it won't bother you anymore. You can do it, Santana!

Santana rolled her eyes. "Those statistics aren't even accurate. For some people, it might take 7 days to get over some one, but those people don't _live_ with the person their trying to get over!" She reasoned, groaning miserably. "It's impossible to get over her when I see her all the time. I see her when I wake up, I see her when I get home from school, and I see her at night. And even when I don't see her, my Papa is always talking about her! Out of sight, out of mind, right? Well she's never out of sight!" Santana was practically screaming by the time she was finished.

Brittany laughed as she jumped off the counter and rushed towards her friend. She placed a calming hand on her shoulder and took a deep breath in. "Breathe. Just like we practiced, come on. In and out."

She followed along, breathing in and out before Santana eventually calmed down.

"So it's been 4 days; are you saying that you're not anywhere _near_ being over her?"

Santana looked down and thought about it. "I was never… _under_ her," Santana rationalized. "I don't have romantic feelings for Quinn, so getting over her isn't necessarily the problem. The problem is that I still have these urges and those refuse to go away."

Brittany nodded. "So what should we do?"

The Latina shrugged. "These past 4 days, I've been doing everything in my power to avoid being home. That way, I never have to see her, and I can allow myself to forget about her for a few moments. But I'm running out of options here! I need to get out of that house, Brittany. You gotta help me."

The blonde squinted her eyes as she slowly nodded. "I understand," she whispered. "I would suggest that you sleepover at my house, but something tells me that if Quinn found out you were with me, she would get all scary possessive again."

"It's not scary," Santana mumbled.

"Huh?"

"You said she was scary when she's possessive. Well it's not scary."

Brittany smirked knowingly. "Then what is it?"

Santana scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Hot," she mumbled.

"Oh my god, you're such a pig!" Brittany laughed loudly as she hit Santana across the arm.

"I can't help it! You and I both know that power and a possessive nature are the two hottest things in a relationship. She has both of those."

The blue eyed beauty simply rolled her eyes fondly. "Okay, back to the point. So, you need more excuses to get out of the house, huh?" She asked. Brittany seemed to look rather pleased with herself, as if she had just come up with the perfect plan.

Santana looked at her skeptically. "What are you up to, Brittany?" She asked, worried.

Brittany giggled. "You know what you should do? You should join a club! Clubs always meet up after school and most have meetings and competitions on weekends! It's the perfect excuse to avoid your house."

"A club? I'm not exactly one for school spirit."

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows. "San… you're a cheerio. You couldn't possibly have _more_ team spirit."

"I'm really only in it for the short skirts and popularity bonus."

They stared at each other and they both broke into a fit of giggles. "Same," Brittany admitted, causing them both to laugh more. "But, to answer your question, yes. A club."

"Which one?"

Brittany smirked and licked her lips. "My boyfriend has been telling me about this wonderful little club. It's brand new and they could use a few extra people."

"Sounds lame," Santana complained. It did sound lame. Anything with Artie is lame.

"Sounds _perfect," _Brittany corrected. "I'll try out with you."

Santana groaned and rolled her eyes. "Fine, I guess I have no other choice."

"Great!" Brittany skipped towards the bathroom door and bit on her lip. She said one more thing before leaving, "oh, and one more thing?"

Santana waited nervously.

"Can you sing?"

* * *

"Everyone, I would like you to put your hands together for our two newest member, Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez." Mr. Schuester announced happily to his glee club that contained 6 other people.

Santana grimaced at the front of the classroom. She didn't belong there. It felt wrong. But she was standing next to an excited Brittany, and when Brittany looks at you with her bright, happy blue eyes, there is no way that you can say no. So she agreed, and now she's officially a member of the glee club.

This would harm her reputation and Santana wasn't even sure it was worth it. Especially not when Brittany squealed in excitement and rushed off to Artie. She happily sat on his lap and patted the chair beside them for Santana.

Santana took a look around at the other members.

Artie, Brittany's boyfriend. From what Santana's heard, the boy can actually sing, so it makes sense that he's in a choir. However, it seems weird for a boy in a wheelchair to be in a singing and dancing club, but Santana won't judge.

Mercedes. Santana actually just learnt her name that day. Up until then, she could never put a name to her face. Mercedes has a killer voice, but her diva attitude will get her no where.

Tina, the quiet asian girl who stutters so much that she's managed to give up speaking all together. In the 4 years that Santana has gone to this school, she has never had a conversation with the girl. Rumour has it, her stutter is so bad that she just gave up. Either that or she has a social disorder. Santana felt bad for her. Beneath the goth clothes and heavy make up, the girl was actually very pretty. Maybe Santana could help her out and point her in the right direction?

Kurt Hummel, the school's resident gay. He hasn't come out of the closet yet, but he doesn't need to. Kurt can live in denial all he wants, but everyone else knows the truth. His closet in a glass case. He could never hide himself from anyone. From the moment Santana saw him, she knew he was different. There's nothing wrong with different, and although Santana would never say it out loud, she respects the boy for being so confident.

Rachel Berry, the most annoying person on the planet of the earth. Enough said.

And finally, Finn Hudson, the school's quarterback, and on and off boyfriend to Rachel Berry. He is a good example of how Glee can ruin a persons reputation. He got slushied almost everyday after he joined and that's what Santana is terrified of happening. She doesn't want to fall from the pyramid. Her popularity is the only thing she has going for her. And if she loses it like Finn almost lost it, she has nothing else.

Santana still couldn't believe that she was doing this. It was embarrassing.

When Brittany asked if she could sing, her heart dropped. As a girl, Santana loved to sing. Her and her mother would always sit by the piano and make up random songs. They would hum during breakfast, sing during dinner, and Richard would always lovingly compliment them and how their voices mixed together. So when Maria left, Santana lost her reason for singing. She no longer had someone to sing with. It's been 4 years since she's even dared to open her mouth and sing a word, and suddenly, her best friend is pushing her into this choir group and it's terrifying.

Their audition consisted mostly with them dancing, and Brittany would sing a few words every few seconds. Santana didn't sing much. At times she would harmonize with the blonde, but she never had a solo. It was still too soon.

"I would like to welcome you both on my behalf. I can never have too many background dancers," Rachel said obnoxiously as she clapped her hands.

Santana groaned beside Brittany and rolled her eyes. She leaned into the blonde and muttered, "this better be worth it."

"It will be. Before you know it, you'll be over you know who, and all of this madness can stop."

The Latina chuckled and rolled her eyes. "It better."

* * *

Glee Club ended at around 6:00 pm. In all honesty, it was a blessing in disguise. Every other day, Quinn picks Santana up at 3:30, they sit through a silent 15 minute car ride, and until Richard gets home, they avoid each other until dinner. But now that she's in Glee Club, by the time she gets home, Richard will already be home, and dinner will just be a few minutes away.

Santana successfully avoided a few hours with Quinn. Slowly but surely, she would be over the girl and it would be amazing.

When she got home, just as expected, Richard and Quinn were standing in the kitchen, smiling softly and having a conversation. Richard was drinking a glass of water and Quinn was drinking a glass of wine.

Santana shut the front door behind her, smiled awkwardly and waved.

"There she is! My little superstar," Richard cooed playfully.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Hello to you, too, Papa."

Richard walked over to her, kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly. "I'm really proud of you, baby doll," he whispered in her ear. When Santana stopped singing, it really affected the man. He could tell that Santana had lost not only a mother, but a part of herself. When Maria walked out that front door, the woman took her talent and ambition with her. Richard was heartbroken when Santana refused to sing to him during dinner. But now, maybe she was on the right track.

"Thanks," Santana smiled back.

He pulled away and faced his girlfriend. "Quinn, you'll never guess what Santana was doing after school today."

Quinn licked her lips and turned away, preparing the table for dinner. "I don't know, darling."

"She joined a glee club."

The blonde's movements stopped and slowly, she turned to look at her boyfriend. "Since when does she sing?"

Santana hated the fact that Quinn was speaking as if she wasn't even there. Santana might as well have been invisible. But then again, she probably deserved it.

"Since always," he said proudly. "She and Maria used to sing all the time." Santana studied Quinn's face, desperate for a reaction. The blonde looked slightly agitated by that information. "Mornings, nights, before bed. The house was never quiet. She was really good, too. But when her mom left, Santana sort of got… disconnected with herself. She stopped singing, she stopped laughing, and she even had a brief crush on an older woman!" He laughed casually as if he expected it to be a joke that everyone found funny.

Santana stood there, shocked. She was frozen solid. Her father just gave away the fact that Santana had a crush on Quinn when she was younger. There was _no_ way that Quinn was dumb enough to ignore what he just said. She had to have picked it up.

And when hazel eyes met brown eyes, Santana knew for sure that Quinn knew.

The jig was up.

"Older woman, huh?" Slowly, a smirk appeared on her lips.

Santana instantly looked away because she knew that if she looked at Quinn, she would be doomed.

"Yeah. I forget her name, but Santana was absolutely crazy about her. Obsessed, even. I put her into counselling to help her get over it."

Quinn's smirk instantly dropped. Her eyes widened and she furrowed her eyebrows. "You did _what?_"

Richard's ears pinned back. "I put her into counselling?" He repeated, this time as a question.

"Why? Because she was crushing on someone older, or because she was crushing on a woman?" Quinn demanded.

Santana cleared her throat. "I'm just going to go u-"

"Both." Richard interrupted her. Santana's eyebrows shot up and she looked over at him disappointedly.

Quinn scoffed in disbelief. "I can't believe you."

"What?"

"You're a homophobe?!" Quinn asked loudly, slamming her drink on the counter. "You do realize that _I'm _bisexual, right?"

Santana and Richard both flinched at her. "Yes sweetie, of course I know that. And I'm not a homophobe! I swear!"

Quinn scratched her head and shook it violently. "You're not a homophobe but you sent your 12 year old daughter into counselling because she had feelings for another female? God, what is wrong with you?"

"It wasn't like that, Q, I promise," he defended, walking towards her and grabbing her hands. "Santana was going through a lot. I figured she was just acting out and going through a phase. Either way, I wanted her to be able to talk to someone about what she was feeling."

Quinn scoffed. "Why couldn't _you_ be that person? Believe it or not, Rich, you weren't the only person who lost Maria. Santana lost her, too. You should have stopped being so damn selfish, and tried to help her yourself. You should have manned up and become the dad you were supposed to be."

"Baby-"

"I can't deal with this right now." She stormed past the both of them, grabbed her coat and put it on.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to a friends. I'll be staying there tonight," she dismissed. Quinn briefly made eye contact with Santana and the Latina could tell that Quinn was considering saying something. "I'm happy that you're singing again, Santana. You deserve to be happy." And with that, she left.

Santana felt like Quinn just punched all the air out of her. 4 days without talking, and the first time she acknowledges her is to stand up for her, and the first time she speaks to her, it's to encourage her. Santana was so confused.

The door slammed behind the girl and Santana flinched at the sound. She looked over to her dad and sighed. She felt bad for him, but at the same time, he deserved what Quinn just threw at him. Richard has made a lot of mistakes in his life, and sending Santana to counselling because she liked a girl wasn't fair. She wasn't crazy, and truthfully, talking about her problems to a professional did more harm than good. Because clearly, it didn't work.

Here she is, 4 years later, crushing on the very same girl.

Santana walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "Sorry, Papa."

"No, I'm sorry, San."

She pulled away and shrugged, waiting for his explanation.

"I messed up. 4 years ago, I was heartbroken over your mother, I was giving up drinking, and you were growing into your teens. A lot was changing for me and it was too much to handle. So in a way, sending you to that therapist wasn't because I thought there was something wrong with you. It was because it was too much for _me _to handle on my own. You were so little and fragile and I was terrified of saying the wrong thing. I wanted a professional to take you off my hands because I didn't want to say the wrong thing." Richard wiped away a tear and smiled sadly at her. "You can like whoever you want. I love you no matter what."

Santana smiled slowly and tears filled in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, chuckling softly. "But for the record.. I'm…" Should she say it? Should she come out? Should she confess to all of her confusion? "I'm straight."

Once again, Santana Lopez ran away from a problem. She was a coward.

Richard smiled slowly. He kissed her forehead and nodded. "Let's have some dinner, yeah?"

"Thank god. It smells amazing and I'm starving!"

For the first time in a month, the two of them sat down and had dinner together. Just the two of them. Alone. No distractions. It was so beautifully refreshing. And for the first time in a while, Santana was grateful for Quinn's absence.

Maybe she was on the path of getting over her?

Before Santana could escape upstairs, Richard stopped her.

"Sweetie?"

She turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, Papa?"

He looked down and scratched the back of his head slightly. "Has Quinn been acting… strange around you, recently? Like.. distant?"

Santana swallowed harshly and cleared her throat. "Uhm.. N-No. N-N-Nope. Why do you ask?" She stuttered pathetically.

Richard simply shrugged. "I don't know. Things have felt different between us these last few days. I just wanted to know if she was being distant with you. But I guess not."

The Latina debated going upstairs and letting her father be with his own thoughts. But something stopped her. "You really love her, don't you?"

He smiled weakly and nodded.

"Do you think she loves you?"

Richard looked up at her. "Why do you ask that?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt again, Papa."

He nodded and took a few moments to think about it. "Yes. I know she loves me."

Santana forced a smile and nodded stiffly. "Then that's all that matters. Goodnight."

* * *

She woke up without the smell of breakfast. Santana never realized how much she enjoyed their little routine until it was gone. Even if they promised to stay away from each other, smelling Quinn's breakfast was always so comforting. Because whether she admitted it or not, Quinn making breakfast meant that the blonde cared about her. She was thinking of her.

But now, she was sleeping at a friends house and Santana had to make her own breakfast and walk to school.

By the time she got to school, her stomach was rumbling in hunger and her hair was frizzy from the weather. She was definitely in a horrible mood.

The school day went by pretty fast. At lunch, she and Brittany went out to eat and they spoke casually about Quinn and Artie. And for an hour, they caught up. They didn't speak of crushes or drama, they actually laughed, made a few jokes, and just appreciated the other persons company. It felt long overdue, and Santana couldn't have been more happier than to have her best friend back.

However, something different happened between 4th and 5th period. Santana was simply walking down the hall, ready to go to the english department, when someone stopped her.

"Excuse me!" A bright voice said from behind her.

Santana stopped in her tracks, not 100% sure if the girl was talking to her. She turned around and saw a blonde with a small smile and worried eyes. The girl was insanely beautiful. She had these amazing curves, perfect skin, and lips that were plump and begging to be kissed.

Woah, what?

Santana cleared her throat and approached the blonde. "Me?"

The blonde nodded and smiled. "Yes, hi! You're Santana Lopez, right?

"Right. And you are?"

She chuckled softly and extended her hand. "My name is Danielle, but I got by Dani. I'm new here."

Santana looked down at her hand, licked her lips, and shook it happily. "Very nice to meet you, Dani," she said, and she meant every word. It was rare that such a beautiful girl moved to Mckinley High and befriended Santana. The last person who did that was Brittany.

"It's great to meet you, too. You're sort of a legend here, you know that? Rumour has it, you're the captain of the cheerio's, and also in the glee club. Is that correct?"

The Latina's eyebrows arched at how quickly Dani had gotten her information. "Wow, it's your first day and you already know a lot." They both laughed and Santana smiled at her. "Yes, that's right. I was a cheerio first, though. I joined Glee Club yesterday. Why do you ask?"

Dani scratched the back of her head and looked into brown eyes, smiling shyly. "I was actually thinking of joining."

"The Cheerio's?"

"No. The Glee Club."

Santana's eyes widened at that. She was surprised that someone as beautiful as her would willingly want to join the loser club of the school. "Really? Why?"

Dani shrugged. "I love to sing. Why else?"

"I… don't know." Santana chuckled softly. "I think you should definitely join. We need new members and I could definitely use a friendly face in there."

The blonde smiled shyly. "So could I. You know, I was sort of iffy about joining. I wasn't sure if it was the club for me, but when I heard that Santana Lopez is in it, I knew that I had to join. You were sort of the tie breaker."

Santana bit on her bottom lip and nodded slowly. "Well I'm glad I helped. And I'm glad you decided to join."

Dani nodded and chuckled. "So when do I try out?"

"We meet today after school in the choir room. Come right in, have a song prepared, and I'm sure everything else will work in your favour."

She beamed. "Great! So… I'll see you after school?" She asked and batted her eyelashes.

Santana nodded dumbly. "Uhm… y-yes. For sure!"

"Good." And with that, Dani sauntered away, and Santana watched every step.

"Woah, what was that?" Brittany asked, walking towards the Latina with a knowing smirk.

"What was what?"

Brittany's eyes widened with glee. "Oh my god! You're crushing on the new girl!"

Santana shook her head furiously. "What?! No. No, no way. I'm not-"

"Gay?" Brittany interrupted. "Are you seriously in denial? I thought Quinn was all the proof we needed that you're far from straight. Santana, you have been attracted to two different girls in the span of a month. What does that tell you?"

The Latina shook her head and sighed heavily. "I don't know, bisexual?"

"Perfect! If you're bisexual, then allow yourself to _be_ bisexual. Stop being ashamed of yourself," Brittany told her with a solemn expression.

"You're right."

Together, they walked towards class. Brittany leaned into her and smiled. "If it helps, she was totally into you."

Santana looked over at her. "Dani?"

"Totally," Brittany confirmed with a happy nod. "This is so perfect."

The Latina grimaced slightly in fear and walked into her next class.

* * *

Santana was in trouble. She found herself looking forward to Glee Club, and that scared her.

She didn't want to be excited about something so lame, but apart of her knew that she wasn't excited for the club itself, but rather excited to see a certain blonde.

Dani.

When they met, there was an instant connection, Santana was sure of it. There was something about Dani that spoke to her and made her feel trusted and cared for. It was such a great feeling.

Within the first 10 minutes of Glee, Dani didn't show up, and Santana was nervous that maybe the blonde chickened out. Or what if something terrible happened? She could hardly sit still on her chair out of nerves.

But thankfully, the choir door opened and Dani nervously peaked her head through. Santana's hand instantly shot up. "Mr. Schue! We have a new member waiting to try out. She's at the door." She smirked playfully at Dani as she waited for the teacher to turn.

Santana dropped her arm and Brittany looked over at her with a knowing smile. The fact that Brittany knew so much about her was both terrifying and thrilling. It was nice to have someone to talk to and tell everything to, but at the same time, Santana always had a fear of letting other people in.

"Hi, welcome!"

Dani walked inside and laughed nervously. "I have a song prepared."

Mr. Schue's face brightened. "Well great! Best of luck." He joined the rest of the kids on the chairs and all eyes were on Dani.

Dani didn't move for a moment and it was clear that she was scared. Slowly, her eyes met Santana's, and Santana instantly smiled. "It's okay," she mouthed to Dani, wanting the girl to be brave enough to perform.

And sure enough, she did.

The blonde opened her mouth and began singing, and Santana was absolutely blown away. She couldn't believe how mesmerizing the girl sounded. Her voice could be soft and angelic one moment, and then rough and sexy the next. She was unbelievably talented.

When she finished her song, everyone except for Rachel stood up and gave her a standing ovation.

Dani covered her mouth with her hand and laughed happily. She looked a little teary eyed but it was clear that it was out of happiness.

"I think it's safe to say welcome aboard!" Mr. Schuester cheered, laughing as he clapped his hands.

The blonde squealed in excitement and ran over to the chairs. She rushed towards Santana and wrapped her arms around her in a desperate and tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered in Santana's ear.

"You did it," Santana whispered back.

They both pulled away and smiled and shyly, they sat down beside each other.

Santana looked over at Dani and was about to compliment her when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Curiously, she took it out.

It was from a number that she didn't recognize and wasn't programmed on her phone. It simply said, **Hey.**

Santana felt her heart beat fast as she looked around the room, trying to see if anyone was on their phones.

**Who is this? **She responded instantly, keeping her phone securely in her hand.

The response was almost immediate.

**Does it matter? **

Her eyes widened and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Who was this person?

**Yes.**

"Everything okay?" Dani spoke softly. Santana looked over at her and exhaled shakily.

"Y-Yeah. Everything's fine. Sorry. Good job, by the way. You have an amazing voice," Santana complimented and she mirrored Dani's bright smile.

Throughout the rest of the meeting, Santana forgot about her phone and her mystery texter. When Mr. Schue let them all go, she checked her phone again, and she didn't have a single response.

The person never replied.

* * *

**So that was the introduction to Dani! I knew we didn't get a lot of Quinn nor Quinntana scenes in this chapter, but this chapter definitely sets up more conflict and more drama, so I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Let me know what you think about Dani!**

**Let me know any predictions you guys have!**

**And leave any suggestions that you have!**

**Love you all!**

**Review, review, review! :)**


	14. Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

**CHAPTER 14**

**I KNOW, I KNOW! I'm late! There is no excuse, but it was a very busy weekend for me, and I did the absolute best I could. Hope this chapter makes up for it? Probably not.. woops.**

**Mixed reviews about the introduction of Dani's character. She's supposed to be controversial, so I guess I succeeded there. I have no intention of making Dani the villain, however she is crucial for Santana's character development. Be patient with me, loves. **

**Next weekend is of course Halloween weekend, and like a normal teenager, my whole weekend is booked. So, I'm going to aim to publish the next chapter on Monday as well. Don't kill me :)**

**To make up for everything, this is the longest chapter yet! Enjoy!**

**Love you all :)**

* * *

Glee turned out to be the perfect distraction. They met 4 times a week, competitions were mandatory and called for extra rehearsals, and also, Santana would deny it if you asked, but she enjoyed it.

Santana never thought she would like singing again. When her mother left, she never imagined herself singing ever again. When Maria walked out that door, she took Santana's talent, drive and ambition with her. but clearly, Santana was beginning to find herself again.

She was singing almost every day, and she was pretty good. Actually, she's amazing. Even Rachel Berry admitted it because lately, she's been terrified that Santana was going to start stealing her solos.

The Latina wouldn't mind having a solo for one of the competitions. Who knows? Maybe she would bring the club to victory.

But as of right now, on the outside, she would look miserable and annoyed, but on the inside, she would be beaming with glee. Pun intended.

Things have been going much better. It's been a few days since Quinn slept at her friends place. She came back the other day and she and Richard seemed to have made up. Santana hasn't heard them arguing since the fight, so she's assuming that things are going smoothly for them.

The blonde still hasn't really acknowledged her presence and Santana is thankful for that. She needs to separate herself from Quinn for as long as it takes until it doesn't hurt anymore to look at her. It's the long process of recovery, but she's slowly climbing that latter. And with Brittany, Dani, and the Glee Club's help, maybe Santana can survive this. Maybe she'll be stronger because of this.

Oddly enough, Santana has found a great friend in Dani. The spunky blonde is both hilarious and easy to talk to, and these days, Santana could use as many friends as she could get. Dani and Brittany were both very different. Brittany was the kind of person that Santana would go to for a distraction. Dani, however, is the kind of person that Santana could find herself venting to, and talking to on an emotional level.

Not that she couldn't do that with Brittany, because she could, but her and Dani have a different sort of friendship. It's less about the joking and the laughter, and more about the connection. It's weird. She and Dani have a very strong connection.

Brittany teases her about it all the time, and the blonde seems to think that Dani has a thing for her, but as far as Santana knows, Dani is straight. Plus, Santana isn't interested in Dani that way. Sure, the curvy blonde is gorgeous, her smile is breathtaking, and those eyes are addicting, but Santana can't allow herself to feel anything more than innocent attraction. Because if she did, then she would be in trouble. Because then that would be 2 girls that she's been sexually attracted to, and that makes it harder and harder to deny and her sexual orientation.

The thing Santana liked about Dani was that their friendship was new. It was like a blank palate. With Brittany, Santana knew that she could never get away with lying because the blonde knew her so well, she knew that she would never live down that time she admitted to having the tiniest crush on her second cousin, and she knew that all the fights they've had in the past have slowly piled up and one day, it'll probably explode.

There is history between Santana and Brittany, and while it makes their friendship so much stronger, it also adds a lot of pressure. One screw up and they could lose it all.

But not with Dani. Things are still fresh between them. Santana could be whoever she wanted and she knew that Dani would never judge because the blonde is still getting to know her. They have a lot of firsts to cross off. First sleepover. First fight. First secret. And Santana can't wait to cross them all off.

She was currently sitting in the back of english, switching between doodling and texting. She was texting Brittany, mostly gossiping about Berry, other times complaining about how boring their classes were.

So when her phone buzzed in her pocket, Santana fully expected it to be her best friend.

She took her phone out of her pocket and saw the unfamiliar 10 digit number. The same 10 digit number that texted her just a few days ago.

Santana hasn't spoken to her mystery tester since that day. When Santana told the texter that their identification did in fact matter, they never responded. Clearly, this person, whoever they were, weren't comfortable with Santana knowing who they were.

Licking her lips, Santana opened the text and read, **Are you as bored as I am right now?**

Her eyes widened and slowly, Santana looked around her classroom. Was the mystery texter her classmate? Did she know them? Santana's heart rate picked up when she noticed about 5 other students on their phone as their teacher continued obliviously with her lesson. It could easily be any one of those 5 students, or it could be someone else entirely.

**Depends. What are you doing?**

Santana chose to send that civil text because she knew, that if she automatically jumped to the question of the persons identity, the conversation would be over. And maybe, she could try to reveal who the person was by asking small questions here and there.

It was hard to focus now. After reading that text, Santana found it impossible to even _pretend _that she was listening. Her eyes kept wandering between classmates, desperate to discover who was her mystery texter. She clutched her phone in her pocket, waiting for it to vibrate, and she kept coming up with ridiculous theories that would explain whoever it was.

When her phone vibrated, she hurriedly took it out of her pocket and read it quickly.

**Thinking about you. **

Santana's eyebrows shot up and she couldn't help but let a small giggle escape her lips.

**I don't know if I should be creeped out or flattered.**

She looked around, desperate to see if someone else was looking at her.

**Why would you be creeped out? It's definitely a good thing, my dear.**

If it were even possible, a dark shade of red covered Santana's face at the term of endearment.

**Besides the fact that you won't tell me who you are?**

**What difference does it make?**

The mystery texter responded immediately and Santana bit on her lip.

**I would like to know. **She tried her best to make it sound like she wasn't angry, but rather curious.

She waited for a while, desperate to feel the vibrating of her phone again, but it never vibrated. The person had stopped responding. Angry, Santana banged her head against her desk and growled under her breath. This was all so frustrating. There is so much stuff going on in her life right now. Why couldn't she just be happy and lonely?

She sat through the rest of english, hoping for some distraction. Maybe Brittany could make things better. She always knew how to do that.

The bell rang and Santana lazily packed up her bags. As she stood up and headed towards the classroom door, her phone vibrated.

Eyes widening, she hesitantly took her phone out of her pocket and opened it up.

**Maybe later.**

* * *

"Did you two exchange numbers?" Brittany asked, snapping Santana out of her doze. It was lunch time now, the two of them were sitting in the cafeteria, and Santana's eyes were fixated on her phone. She was clutching it in her hand like a lifeline, and her eyes wouldn't leave the screen.

Her eyes fluttered and she slowly looked up to meet Brittany's eyes. "Who?"

"You and Dani."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and slowly shook her head. "No. Why?"

Brittany's eyebrows shot up and she genuinely looked surprised. Suspicion travelled over her face as her eyes lowered to Santana's phone. "Then who's text are you waiting for?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, San. You and I both know that if you squeeze any tighter, you'll break it." Brittany reached out and grabbed Santana's cell phone, prying it from her tensed fingers. Brittany sat the phone on the cafeteria table and faced her best friend with an open face. "I'm going to ask you another question and I want an honest answer. Did you and _Quinn_ exchange numbers?"

Santana looked slightly offended for a moment. She scoffed, rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone back. "No. God, Britt. When I told you that I was separating myself from her, those weren't just words. I'm doing everything in my power to forget about her, so why on earth would I spend my days texting her?"

Brittany lifted up her hands and let out a weak laugh. "Woah. Down girl." She smirked playfully and shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure. So who are you texting, then?"

Santana looked down at her phone, chewed on her bottom lip and shrugged. What was she supposed to say? Some anonymous creeper is texting her? And even though it's freaking her out, she sort of loves it? Brittany would beyond judge her. "No one," she lied.

Brittany nodded slowly, and it was clear that she didn't believe Santana, but she chose to let it go.

"So Artie's been acting weird. I think it's because his hand fell asleep in class the other day, and now he's afraid that his arms will go paralyzed, too," she said with a straight face.

Santana blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what she just heard before she let out a weak laugh. "Honey, first of all, arms can't _go_ paralyzed, and second of all, I don't think he's worried about that. How is he acting weird?"

Brittany sighed heavily. "We were supposed to hang out last night, but he never called to cancel. Instead, he just never showed up."

"That doesn't sound like him."

"That's what I said! So I came up with the only possible explanation." Santana waited patiently as Brittany bit on her lip. "He was abducted by aliens."

"Brittany.."

Brittany quickly jumped back in and interrupted her. "No, it's gotta be true, San! He wasn't at school today either."

Santana smiled lovingly. "Maybe you should try calling him. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. Artie loves you."

The blonde exhaled heavily and nodded. "I guess you're right. Sort of how like Dani loves _you_." She winked playfully and squealed when Santana threw a chip at her.

The Latina rolled her eyes and laughed softly. "Dani does not love me. You're insane, you know that?"

Brittany shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "I'm just saying!"

"Well don't."

Silence filled the table and Brittany pouted adorably before continuing. "So are you telling me that you haven't even _thought_ about her in that way?"

Brown eyes lifted up and locked with blue orbs. Santana didn't say a single word, and because of that, Brittany's face broke out into a shit eating grin as she giggled and clapped her hands. "I knew it! Oh this is amazing!"

"This is the furthest thing from amazing."

"You like her! You likeeeee her!" Brittany sang obnoxiously loud.

Santana reached over and slapped Brittany on the arm. "I don't like her, Britt. I have thought about her, yes, but that doesn't mean I like her. You know me. I don't _do_ feelings. I do sex, and I am _not_ ready for sex with girls."

Brittany's laughing died down slightly and she nodded. "Even still, this is progress, babe."

They both shared a smile and Santana rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah? And why's that?"

"You're getting over Quinn and you're coming to terms with yourself. I've never been more proud!"

"Give it a rest, Britt. I'm not interested."

Brittany groaned and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Just think about it, San! You two would be so perfect together. You've said it yourself; you two get along so well! She understands you! You two have some deep, weird relationship that I'll never understand. You connect with her. Relationship or not, being around her could be really good for you."

"Or really shitty."

"Either way, you won't know until you try. Come on. She likes you, too. I can tell," she smirked devilishly.

Santana's eyebrows shot up. "She does? How can you tell?"

"When you're not watching her.. she's watching you."

The lunch bell rang and they both sighed before reluctantly standing up. "Great talk, as always," Santana said, sarcasm dripping through her words.

"Shut up," Brittany giggled, rolling her eyes. She grabbed her bag and began walking off before she stopped, turned around, and said, "just think about it!"

Before Santana could even ask what she meant, Brittany skipped off to her next class.

* * *

Glee club was the same as it was every week. Mr. Schue stood at the front with one of his usual sweater vests, his hair curlier than the day before, as he rants on about some useless lesson. This week was about accepting yourself. How fitting.

As always, Rachel shoots her hand up, says some annoying comment about this weeks lesson and what it means for sectionals, Finn settles her down, and the rest of the meeting is spent gossiping, singing occasionally, and counting down the minutes until the meeting is over.

And as much as Santana complains about how shitty and annoying everyone and everything is, Santana loved every minute of it.

She sat in the back row beside Dani the whole time, and they were whispering throughout the entire 90 minutes. Some were just random comments, others were deep and meaningful, but all in all, Santana enjoyed herself.

Every time she leaned over to whisper in Dani's ear, Brittany would look over at them and make some exaggerated and over sexual face. If Santana wasn't so annoyed by her best friend, she would have broken into a fit of laughter and blown their cover.

So, for those 90 minutes, Santana and Dani happily lived in their own little world. And not once did Santana's phone vibrate and ruin the moment. And for that, she was thankful.

"Great job today, everyone! Have some song ideas ready for next time! Have a good weekend," Mr. Schue said, smiling charmingly as he busied himself in cleaning up.

Santana sighed thankfully, stood up and grabbed her bag. She smiled over at Dani and prepared herself to say goodbye when the blonde beat her to it.

"So I guess this is it," she said dramatically, standing up and sighing.

The Latina quirked an eyebrow playfully. "I guess so."

Dani shrugged and smirked mischievously. "It doesn't have to be."

"What do you mean?"

The blonde licked her lips and looked down for a moment, appearing shy. "You wanna sleepover?"

Santana stood there, frozen from the shock. Her eyes widened, her mouth opened and all the air escaped her lungs. She and Dani just met a few days ago. Sure, they've bonded as if they've known each other for years, but even for them, a sleepover so soon is scary and intimidating. "Sleepover where?"

She giggled. "At my house, silly."

"Now?"

Dani smiled affectionately at her and shrugged simply. "I mean.. you could go home and freshen up, but.." Dani looked her up and down and giggled softly, "I think you look great."

Santana nodded slowly and licked her lips. She looked around, desperate for an excuse. She was searching for her alibi. Her eyes landed on bright blue ones and Brittany smiled playfully at her. Knowingly, Brittany mouthed _you should go_. With those few words, Santana was convinced. "Sure. That sounds nice. Let's go."

Dani's eyes brightened and she adorably bounced on her tippy toes. "Great!"

Their eyes locked, both smiling shyly, and together, they walked out of the choir room and towards the exit.

* * *

Dani's house was bigger than most. There were 4 levels as opposed to the regular 3, the entire house was covered in hard word and expensive granite. It was mesmerizing to say the least. Her parents weren't home, and Dani brushed it aside as if it were no big deal. She said that her parents were never home and because of that, it bothered her less and less. Santana felt horrible for her, but the blonde didn't seem to mind, so Santana told herself to lighten up and enjoy herself.

At first, it was awkward. Santana had only really spoken to Dani inside the school walls, so now, without red lockers to distract themselves, it was hard to find things to talk about.

Dani gave her a long tour of the house, where Santana soon discovered that every room was bigger than the last. They ate a bowl of popcorn and changed into different clothes. Dani let Santana borrow some of her sleeping clothes, and even Santana had to admit, they looked pretty cute in their baggy tops and sweat pants.

Currently, they were sitting in Dani's room, which was twice the size of Santana's. Dani was laying on the bed, and Santana was walking around and exploring.

Santana always believed that you could tell a lot about a person just based on what they had in their room. So, whenever she entered someone's room for the first time, she took a few minutes to explore and dig up some information.

She looked through a few photos, and smiled at the pictures of Dani with her parents. They were both blonde as well, and they appeared to be the perfect little family. But of course, appearances can be deceiving.

Dani also had two vintage piggy banks, a rainbow ribbon, and a plaque that read 'stop wishing, start doing'. Santana was definitely impressed. And to top it all off, her room was painted the most relaxing colour of yellow. Her room was like the sun.

"I like your room," Santana said honestly, turning to face the blonde. She swallowed nervously, unsure where to go. Should she join Dani on the bed and risk an awkward moment? Or should she stay standing, but give off the appeal that she isn't comfortable around the blonde? Sick and tired of debating with herself, Santana chose to stay standing.

Dani grinned and grabbed a teddy bear from her bed and held it close to her. "Thank you!"

They shared a smile and Santana looked away and cleared her throat.

"You don't have to stay standing, you know? This bed is big enough for the both of us. Besides, we'll both be sleeping here anyway. We might as well get you two acquainted."

Santana looked up and Dani was playfully smirking at her. Santana nodded slowly and let out a weak laugh. "R-Right. Sorry, I just-" She cut herself off before she embarrassed herself further. Santana walked over the bed and sat down on the edge. She smiled, shifted slightly, and clapped her hands once.

Silence filled the room until Dani broke into a fit of giggles. "This is weird, isn't it?"

The Latina nodded eagerly. "Totally."

"It doesn't have to be. Sure, we just met, but I consider you a close friend. And close friends have sleepovers," Dani argued with a simply shrug.

Santana nodded and smiled slowly. "I guess it's just because I don't know anything about you despite the fact that you're beautiful and you have an amazing voice."

Dani bit on her lip and looked down to hide her blush. "Where do I start?"

"Birthday!"

Dani giggled. "That's simple enough. August 15th. You?"

"November 20th!" Santana bit her lip and smiled.

Dani's eyes widened in realization. "Holy shit, that's like… a week away."

Santana nodded. "I'll expect your gift in the mail."

Playfully, Dani reached out and slapped Santana's arm.

"Okay, okay, fine! Tell me about your family," Santana decided.

She inhaled slowly and her smile faltered slightly. "My parents are not exactly in the picture. I mean.. they live with me, and I see them when I need to see them, but other than that, they don't exactly make an effort to be in my life. They don't go to any competitions, they don't take me out to fancy dinners just for the hell of it, and they don't tell me they love me in the mornings and nights. They're parents and that's all they ever strived to be. They raised me, and once I was old enough to take care of myself, they started golfing and drinking a lot more than they should."

Santana looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that. That… That's horrible."

"Yeah. Well, not everyone can have a perfect family. What about you? I bet the Lopez's are just fabulous." She let out a giggle to lighten the mood, but unbeknownst to her, she didn't lighten the mood at all.

"Not exactly," Santana started and scratched the back of her head. "When I was little, I always assumed that I had the perfect family. My mom and dad were soul mates as far as I was concerned, and I'm an only child so all of their love and affection was placed onto me. I was their little miracle and I couldn't have thought of anything better. But as I got older, they grew further and further apart. My father drank more than he spoke to her, and my mother always worked late. They just didn't click anymore. And one day, my mom decided that she was done with him. And by being done with him, she was also done with me. She left and she never came back. When my mom left, my dad, he… He completely fell off the wagon. He drank until he passed out for weeks and I had to take care of him and myself. It was such a hard time for me."

Dani instantly grabbed a hold of Santana's shoulder and rubbed carefully. "Wow, San, I'm so sorry. Is he okay, now?"

Santana nodded with a smile. "He's great now. He actually has a pretty serious girlfriend. At first, I wasn't too happy to have her in my life, and at times I still think that she's totally wrong for him, but she fits, you know? She's a part of the family, and I know that if I went home and she wasn't there, I would miss her."

Dani nodded slowly. "Well, that's good."

"Yeah.." Santana whispered, averting her eyes down.

"How old were you when she left?"

Santana looked up, trying her best to be brave as she whispered, "twelve."

Dani exhaled loudly. "Wow. That's a tough age to go through something that traumatic."

Santana smiled through watery eyes and nodded quickly. "Y-Yup."

Silence.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Santana shot her head up and looked into Dani's persisting eyes. "Huh?"

Dani licked her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. "There's more to the story, I can tell. Santana, if you and I are gonna be good friends, we have to open up to each other. I want you to feel like you can always come to me with your problems. I've been told that I'm a terrific listener." She smiled afterward and that made Santana chuckle softly.

"I just…" She started. Santana desperately blinked back her tears and unfortunately, it didn't do much good. Instead, a stray tear slipped from her right eye and slid all the down her cheek, hanging off on her chin. "I r-r-really miss her," she choked out.

The blonde's face instantly softened, and her eyes melted into sympathy. Dani shifted closer to Santana on the bed and desperately wrapped her arms around the Latina, holding her close. "Oh, Santana.."

"She w-was all I h-had."

"I know," Dani whispered.

"I was s-so young when she left. I d-d-didn't know what I was doing. I had to face things on m-my own that only a m-m-mother could have taught me. And l-look how I turned out!" Santana buried her face into Dani's chest and sobbed miserably.

Dani reached down, grabbed Santana's chin, and lifted her face up. "You turned out amazing. Don't you dare tear yourself down, Santana. You are…. everything."

Santana's eyes searched Dani's face in curiosity and admiration. She had never been complimented so lovingly before. Not since her mom. "I'm miserable," she whispered.

"No," Dani whispered, shaking her head. Her hand reached out and gently cupped Santana's cheek. She stroked back and forth and smiled softly. "No, you're amazing, Santana."

Santana leaned into the touch and chose not to answer, but rather enjoy the moment.

"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

At that, her eyes fluttered open. Santana looked into Dani's eyes and felt her stomach drop. Should she tell the truth? Santana hasn't even told Brittany the truth. Brittany knows that Santana calls Maria almost every night, but she had no idea that Maria answered. Twice. She had no idea that they spoke for about 20 seconds. So if her very best friend didn't know, how come she felt the strong need to tell Dani? A girl she had known for less than a week?

"Ever since she left, I've called her every single night before I go to sleep. At first, it was in there fervent hope that she'll answer and give me and explanation as to why I wasn't good enough. But as I got older, it was to hear her voicemail message and just remind myself what she sounds like. I'm starting to forget," Santana admitted sadly, licking her lips as she wiped away her tears. "About a month ago, she answered for the first time. It took me by complete surprise because it's been 4 years and she hasn't answered once. Just… hearing her voice… it hit me like a fucking dump truck."

Santana could feel Dani nodding quickly from beside her. "Of course. I would expect no less. Did you say anything to her?"

She shook her head slowly. "No. I'm a coward. The second I heard her voice I hung up. But that didn't stop me from calling her the next night and the night after that. She went M.I.A for a while. But about a week ago… s-she answered again."

"Oh San.."

"I was too weak. I spoke. I called to her, but I was so quiet, and I was stuttering over my words, but somehow, she still knew that it was me. D-D-Dani, she whispered my name, and in that moment, I just lost it. I collapsed. I haven't heard h-her say my name in 4 years. It was too much to handle."

Dani nodded and once again, she wrapped her arms around Santana and nodded against her. "It just shows that even after all these years, she still loves you enough to remember your voice," Dani said, trying to spread some positive energy.

Santana barely smiled and nodded slowly. "I haven't told anyone that before."

"Not even your dad?"

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

Santana shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think I like that it was my own little secret. I liked being the only one that could still communicate with her in some way. And I was afraid that if he found out, he would make me stop calling her." She wiped away another tear and sniffed sadly. "I haven't called her since."

Dani licked her lips and reached over to Santana's bag. She searched through the bag and eventually pulled out Santana's cell phone. She carefully laid the cell phone onto the bed and looked up at her softly. "Let's change that."

Santana's head shot to her friend with wide eyes. "What? No, Dani, I can't do that."

"Why not? Don't run away from your fears, Santana. You clearly have a lot of things buried beneath the surface and if you keep them there, one day, you're going to explode. Just call her, and if she answers, talk to her." Dani smiled softly and shrugged. "Let everything out. Who knows, maybe it'll be for the best? Maybe you can have her in your life again."

Brown eyes shifted from Dani to the cell phone and Santana felt her heart rate going crazy. She felt like she was going to pass out.

"Really?" She whispered.

Dani smiled encouragingly and nodded. "I'll be right here the whole time."

Santana nodded as well as she took a deep breath in. Nervously, she grabbed her cell phone, dialled her mothers number, and pressed the phone to her ear.

It rang a few times as usual. And by the forth ring, her melodic voice answered.

"Hello?" She said, sounded less impatient than all of the other times she's answered.

Santana's breath hitched and her eyes fluttered shut. No matter how many times Maria answered, it would always catch her off guard. She stayed silent, not sure what to say. Panicked, she looked to Dani, and the blonde mouthed _say something!_

But she was too scared to, so she kept her mouth shut.

"Santana?" Maria whispered, and Santana could hear movement coming from the other end of the line. "Santana, is that you?"

Santana covered her mouth with her hand and allowed a fear tears to slide down her cheek. "Hi," she barely choked out.

Maria exhaled on the other line. "Oh, Santana, I'm so glad you called. I've been waiting to hear from you again."

Brown eyes widened at that. Maria was been waiting for her to call? 4 years and that's _all_ she has to say?

"Why?" Santana started. She didn't know what else to say. Santana wasn't calling to rehash a broken relationship, she wasn't calling to rehash their love, she was simply calling for answers. "Why did you leave us all those years? Why did you turn your back on us and leave me alone?"

Maria sighed and Santana impatiently waited for an answer. "Santana, it's complicated."

"No, Mama," Santana hissed strongly, "it _was_ complicated. It was complicated when I was 12 years old, but I'm not 12 anymore. If you even remembered, I'm almost 17, and I understand a lot of things. I deserve an explanation. So _please_, just tell me why."

Silence filled the other end of the line and slowly, a warm hand grabbed Santana's thigh, rubbing and squeezing comfortingly.

"I didn't love him anymore," Maria explained. "I know that it is no excuse for what I did, and that there were a million other ways I should have gone about this, but I woke up one morning and realized that I was married to a stranger."

Santana licked her lips. "But that has nothing to do with me. You could have divorced him and still been in my life. What did I do wrong?"

"Santana, sweetie…" Maria's soft voice filled the phone and Santana's eyes quickly filled with tears. "You didn't do anything wrong. I made the wrong choice. All those years ago, I was dumb and impulsive and when I decided that I was divorcing your father, I didn't think of the consequences. I just knew that I had to get out of that house or I would end up miserable."

When Maria said the word 'miserable', Santana's breath hitched. She was miserable. Santana Lopez was miserable, and Maria Lopez ran away from her family because she was terrified of feeling that way. What did that say about Santana? Was she a coward? Or was she bound to end up like her mother? Both sounded terrifying.

"But I made the wrong choice. I knew it the second I left. I knew it on the 13th birthday. I even tried calling you but no one answered. I never wanted to lose you, Santana."

Santana nodded and wiped her tears. "I don't even know what to believe, Mama, but that's not the point. I just… I just needed to hear your reasoning."

Movement was heard from the other line and Santana could have sworn that it was Maria nodding.

"Just one more question," Santana asked. "Was it worth it? Are you happier now?"

Maria took a deep breath in. "In some ways yes. It was worth it because I knew I was lying to myself by pretending to be in love with your father. Now I don't have to pretend to be anything and that relieves a lot of stress. But Santana, my happiest moments were when I was with you and I could hear your beautiful laugh in my ear. You made me the happiest."

Santana wiped away another tear and nodded foolishly. "O-Okay," she stuttered because she had no idea what else to say. "I have to go now."

"Will you call me again?" Maria begged.

Santana squeezed her eyes shut and sobbed silently. "I d-d-don't think s-so."

If it was quiet enough, Santana could hear Maria crying as well and it broke her heart. "Santana, can I give you one more piece of motherly advice?"

She truly considered the question because Santana wasn't sure if she wanted Maria's advice on anything. But, nonetheless, she nodded and said, "okay."

"When you choose the boy hat you're going to spend the rest of your life with, choose someone who makes your knees weak. Choose someone who makes you feel needed and wanted. Choose the relationship with the most passion. I promise you, sweetie, relationships can get boring easily, and if you're anything like me, you need excitement. Make sure that the boy you end up with loves you more than you love him. But if you're ever torn between boys, pick the one that makes you feel the most alive, okay? Don't play it safe. You need a boy who is going to surprise you and love you to death, but if the passion isn't there, then nothing else matters. Take it from me," she said with desperation in her voice.

Santana nodded slowly. "Girl."

Silence. "What?" Maria asked.

"The _girl_ I end up with," Santana corrected, and she felt Dani's head snap in her direction out of shock.

"You're-" Maria cut herself off. "I love you, Santana. Have a good life. I am _so_ proud of you." Santana could hear a smile on her mothers lips and slowly, she hung up the phone.

And just like that, Santana felt a giant weight lift off her shoulders. Sure, it wasn't the ideal conversation, and Maria's answers didn't make her feel any better, but now she knew for sure. She knew why her mother left, she knew that her mother regretted it, and she even knew that Maria called on her 13th birthday, but she never got an answer.

Now, Santana would stop wondering.

She looked over her shoulder at Dani and smiled softly. "Thank you," she whispered, and crawled over to her. Santana desperately cupped Dani's cheeks and smiled brightly. "God, thank you so much." Nervously, Santana began peppering Dani's face with kisses. She kissed her cheeks, her nose, her jawline, her forehead, and eventually, Santana pressed a firm kiss on her mouth.

When she realized what she did, she pulled back with wide eyes. "Oh my god, I'm.. I'm s-"

Dani cut her off as she rushed forward and connected their lips in another, more deliberate kiss.

Well, now Santana knew for sure that Dani was a lesbian.

The kiss was no where near as passionate or as heated as Santana's kiss with Quinn, and that bothered her. But, it was still nice. Dani was definitely talented.

They didn't rush the kiss. It was slow and it was just a heated exchange of their lips. Soon enough, Dani's tongue pressed up against Santana's bottom lip, urging the Latina to open her mouth and allow the tongue inside.

It felt weird kissing Dani. Dani was the second girl that Santana's ever kissed, and it's hard to compare her to Quinn because Quinn was… Quinn was everything and beyond.

Santana pressed her tongue up against Dani's and they both let out a low moan. Slowly, the rolled down onto the bed, and Santana settled on top of Dani. She straddled the blonde hotly, and moaned when Dani's hands found her hips, urging her hips down.

Santana kissed her feverishly, and when their hips connected, Santana broke out into a fit of giggles.

But why?

There was nothing funny about this. They were in a compromising position, Santana was definitely a little excited, and judging by Dani's flushed face, she was eager to get undressed. So why did Santana start laughing?

Dani pulled back and turned beat red. "A-Are you okay?"

Santana furrowed her eyebrows and nodded slowly. She looked at Dani and for a brief moment, she saw Quinn. She saw those piercing hazel eyes, that devil smirk, and those delicious cheek bones. For a moment, Santana _wanted_ it to be Quinn beneath her. But when she blinked, and she saw Dani, she couldn't help but be disappointed. "Uh… yeah. Sorry." She rushed back in, desperate to erase Quinn from her mind.

They kissed again for a while and soon enough, Dani's hand was urging Santana's hips down. When their pelvises met, Santana jumped back as if she had been stung. She covered her mouth and shook her head urgently. "I'm… Fuck, Dani, I'm sorry."

Dani pouted for a moment before she sat up and wiped her mouth. "Did I do something wrong?"

Santana groaned inwardly and shook her head. "No! No, you were…. you were great, really."

The blonde laughed awkwardly at that. "Then what is it?"

"It's just… I'm not…. This whole… gay thing is new to me."

Dani didn't look impressed. "I'll give you 10 seconds to rephrase that in a way that doesn't make me want to slap you."

Santana's eyes widened as she let out a nervous laugh. "This whole… acting on my gay feelings in new to me."

Dani smiled softly. "Much better."

They both shared a laugh and Dani shrugged. "It's no big deal, San. Some people just work better as friends. You and I clearly work better as friends. I can't say that I haven't thought about doing that since we met, though. You're so gorgeous and I've been wondering what it would be like."

Santana smiled awkwardly and nodded. "Sorry to disappoint."

"No, trust me, you didn't. You were great. We just don't click. Passion is the key ingredient to all relationships and if it's not there, you're doomed to fail." Dani's words sounded very similar to Maria's, and Santana couldn't help but freeze.

She was having an epiphany. She had passion with Quinn. Their entire relationship was based off of passion. Just thinking about Quinn got Santana wet. Of course, the two of them could never be together because it was a horrible thing to do, but Santana was just lying to herself if she thought Dani was better than Quinn.

Santana offered her a soft smile. "Thank you for being so understanding. And thank you for convincing me to call my mom."

"Any time. Friends?" She offered out a hand with a bright smile.

Santana giggled and nodded. She grabbed her hand and shook it. "Friends."

* * *

With the awkward make out session behind them, Santana and Dani actually managed to have a fun night. They played some board games, gossiped about past relationships, and really got to know each other better. Santana left the next morning with a clear idea that Dani could soon become one of her best friends.

And best friends was a lot better than a relationship because they didn't click sexually.

Santana was actually sad to leave the next morning, but with a long hug and a promise to text each other, Santana walked to her car and drove back home. She was slightly surprised to see both Quinn and Richard's car parked in the driveway. Although it was a Saturday, Richard almost always works sometime during the weekend, and even Quinn tends to go out and do some things.

But they were both home and Santana was genuinely looking forward to seeing them and catching up. She hasn't seen her dad since Thursday night, and she hasn't seen Quinn since Friday morning. Despite the awkwardness and tension between Santana and Quinn, she was excited to see the beautiful blonde's face.

Santana walked through the front door with a smile and dropped the keys onto the counter. "Papa, Quinn! I'm home!" She yelled and kicked off her shoes.

"We're in here!" Richard called, his voice clearly travelling from the living room.

Santana smiled, dropping her things, and joined the pair in the living room. Quinn and Richard were all cuddled up on the couch and Santana felt her chest ache at the sight. It physically _hurt_ to see them so close and so happy. But if Richard made Quinn happy, then she wasn't going to get in the middle of it. They both deserved happiness.

Santana took a seat on the opposite couch and smiled softly at them.

"How was your night?" Richard asked with a soft smile. She could feel curious hazel eyes on her.

"It was a lot of fun, actually."

Richard smiled at that. "Were you at Brittany's?" Quinn asked curiously. Santana was thankful that they were no longer ignoring each other.

Santana, however, shook her head. "No, I was at a new friends house. Her name is Dani."

Quinn's jaw clenched, but she bit her tongue and nodded her head stiffly. "Terrific."

The Latina bit back a smirk. Santana felt like laughing because Quinn was so adorable when she was jealous, meanwhile, she was pressed right up against Richard and Santana wasn't getting jealous! Well… she was a little jealous but that's besides the point.

They don't belong to each other, so the jealousy seriously has to stop.

"What did you two do all night?" Richard pried.

Santana exhaled, wondering if she should be honest. But sharing the fact that she called her mother, who Richard has no idea that they've spoken at all over the 4 years, and they made out was probably way too much information. "We just… talked… and stuff." When she said 'and stuff' she made sure to look at Quinn. Santana bit on her bottom lip and chuckled under her breath when Quinn cleared her throat and rolled her eyes.

Richard smiled over at Santana. "I'm glad you had fun, baby."

"Thanks, Papa."

Santana watched as Richard leaned over and kissed Quinn lovingly on the forehead. Santana sighed heavily and felt her bottom lip quiver in sadness. She didn't want to feel this way. She didn't want to be so torn and so dead inside, but ever since that blonde beauty walked into her life, Santana hasn't been the same. But she can't tell if she's changed for the better or the worse.

Interrupting her train of thought was the sound of the doorbell. Santana furrowed her eyebrows and looked over at her dad. "Did you guys order food?" Santana asked, sitting up slightly in her chair.

Richard stood up and brushed his pants and shirt, cleaning himself up. "No?" He phrased it like a question.

Quinn and Santana both stood up as well and the three of them walked towards the front door. "Are we expecting someone, sweetie?" Quinn asked.

"Not that I know of," he simply answered, and walked right up to the front door. Quinn and Santana kept their distance and watched from further away.

Richard grabbed the handle, turned it, and opened the door.

When Santana saw who was at the door her knees gave out. The last thing she remembered was being caught by a frantic Quinn, and her fathers broken voice whispering, "Maria?"

* * *

**DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN**

**Review! **


	15. Rehash Your Love

**CHAPTER 15**

**Thank you all for your patience! I know that it's hard to remain calm after leaving you with a cliffhanger, but I really appreciate the fact that none of you were harassing me with reviews! LOL! I love you all :)**

**I think you guys will like this chapter. I wasn't going to originally end it this way, but in a weird way, it felt right. Hope you guys think I made the right choice. I'm still a little iffy on it. Lemme know what you think!**

* * *

It all happened so quickly that Santana barely had time to process what happened. One moment, the three of them were sitting in the living room, casually talking and watching TV, and the next, the doorbell was ringing, only to reintroduce the woman that destroyed their family. It couldn't have happened at a worse time, too.

Richard was _just_ getting over his little alcohol slip, him and Quinn just made up from their fight, and Santana was slowly coming to terms with her sexuality, as well as accepting her mothers absence.

Just when everything was going perfectly, her mother had to show up. Seriously, did she have a radar or something?

In a way, Santana blamed herself for the woman's appearence. If Santana hadn't called her the night before, crying and demanding answers, Maria would have probably stayed put. But now, she was at their front door, eyeing everyone with a soft, almost serene smile on her face.

What did she expect?

Did she expect to be welcomed back with open arms? It's been 4 years and not a single call or visit. 4 years of nothing. Now she shows up and expects a welcome back party? The woman was insane. But still, beneath all the hate and bitterness, Santana couldn't help but feel slightly nostalgic and happy at the sight of her mother.

She had only gotten more beautiful.

When the front door opened, it only took Santana half a second to know who it was. All she had to see were those tanned feet in her usual red stiletto's, and Santana's heart dropped. It was her mother. Her eyes widened in shock when she looked up to see Maria Lopez looking at her. Santana felt her knee's go weak and her eyes roll to the back of her head and before she knew it, she was falling over.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

She knew that when she fell to the hardwood floor it would hurt like a bitch. But oddly enough, she never fell. She never felt the hardwood beneath her body, but rather two, warm, comforting arms wrapped around her waist.

"Santana?" The name sounded slurred and faded. Almost like it was coming from upstairs. But the voice was soft, sweet, yet extremely worried. Santana could tell that by the persons grip and the strain in their voice that they were terrified. It sounded like Quinn. She lazily and weakly opened her eyes and was met with worried and wide hazel eyes. Quinn's eyebrows were furrowed and strained with stress and her arms were wrapped around Santana, holding on for dear life.

"Santana!" Quinn shouted again, cupping her cheek and slapping gently, trying to wake Santana up from this state.

And then suddenly, everything went black.

* * *

It felt like a dream. And Santana would have thought it was if she didn't wake up to the sound of yelling from the floor beneath her.

Her eyes fluttered open and she immediately recognized her bed. She shot up, gasping, short of breath and tears quickly filled her eyes. She couldn't believe it. This was actually happening. Her mom was back and it was all her fault.

Santana could barely make out the conversation coming from downstairs, but it definitely wasn't friendly. Richard was yelling a lot. Maria didn't sound as angry, but her voice was loud, too. Santana cuddled into her blanked and shut her eyes tightly, weeping to herself.

She didn't go back to sleep, desperate to hear some of the conversation and Maria's reasoning for showing up out of the blue, but she could barely understand anything.

All she knew was that Quinn's voice wasn't present. Where was she?

As if on cue, Santana's bathroom door opened and out came Quinn.

Quinn was here the whole time?

The blonde stepped out of the room, shut the door behind her as quietly as possible and wiped from beneath her eye. She looked like she had been crying. Quinn slowly turned around and relaxed at the sight of Santana awake.

"Oh good, you're awake," she said, her voice soft and not as cocky and confident as usual.

Santana nodded slowly and realized that this was the first time they've been alone, talking together since their goodbye kiss. It almost made her want more. Almost. Santana wiped her eyes as well because she hadn't even realized that she had been crying.

"I'm awake," she echoed, her eyes apologetic and sad.

Quinn's smile was barely visible, but it was comforting in the oddest way. Santana was just happy that she didn't have to deal with this alone. If she woke up to an empty bedroom, who knows what she would have done? Called Brittany? Dani? Or worse… Puck? Santana always acts out during the hardest times in her life, but maybe this time, Quinn would help her remain calm.

Quinn walked towards her bedroom door and cleared her throat. "I'll just give you your privacy."

"No," Santana called out far too eagerly. She noticed Quinn look back at her in disbelief and frankly, Santana was surprised too. The Latina moved all the way over on her bed and patted the empty spot for Quinn. "P-Please stay. I-can't-just-I don't want to be alone right now." Her voice was soft, innocent, and fragile. In that moment, Santana felt 12 years old again. And Quinn felt like her hero. History was repeating itself.

Quinn looked torn. They both knew that getting into a bed together probably wasn't the smartest decision in the world, but Santana needed comfort. She needed someone to hold her while she cried and promise her that everything would be okay in the end. Even if they had to lie. The blonde's bottom lip disappeared between her lips. "San, I don't know if that's such-"

"Please."

A slow tear slid down Santana's cheek. From downstairs, they could hear "4 years, Maria!" Santana shut her eyes and more tears piled out.

Instantly, Quinn rushed over to the bed. The blonde slid under the covers and moved flush beside Santana. She wrapped a tight arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "It's okay, sweetie. Shh.." She soothed.

Santana never felt more cared for.

The second the warm arm was wrapped around her, Santana buried her face in Quinn's neck and allowed herself to sob. She sobbed her little heart out. She cried about that time she broke her leg when she was 10. She cried about when her mother left. She cried about her therapy lessons. She cried about the time her therapist made her write lines of _gay is not okay_. She cried about meeting Puck and fucking him on the very first day of high school to remind herself that she was straight. She cried about her father going out on mysterious dates. She cried about meeting Quinn and how much it fucked with her brain. She cried about using Puck to forget about Quinn. She cried about kissing Quinn and wanting more. She cried about the fact that she wants Quinn but she'll never be able to have her. She cried about her mom coming back. She let every thing out. Santana had a hard life and never before has she let it all spill out within a matter of seconds.

"Q-Q-Quinn…" She sobbed, clinging onto Quinn's t shirt. She grabbed a fist full of the material and pulled Quinn impossibly closer. "It… hurts.. It-god-it hurts s-so bad."

"Breathe, San. Please breathe," Quinn's voice was trying to stay calm, but it was clear that she was nervous about Santana fainting again.

Brown eyes shut and she cried harder. "I w-was finally beginning to f-f-forget her. I was m-moving on."

"She's your mom. She'll always have a place in your heart," Quinn reasoned.

Santana's grip on Quinn's shirt tightened. "Make it stop, Q-Quinn. Please. God, I can't k-k-keep feeling l-like this."

Warm lips kissed her forehead and nodded slowly. "I know, baby. I know it hurts. But it'll get better. You're so brave, baby. So strong. You'll get through it. Like always."

She shook her head desperately, trying to drown out the sound of her parents yelling. "Not this time. It's d-d-different this time."

Quinn rubbed her arms up and down and waited a few seconds before whispering, "why?"

Santana shut her eyes tightly, squeezing out all the tears. Slowly, she blinked her eyes and looked up to see Quinn. "Because if they get back together, I'll l-l-lose you."

Hazel eyes softened and for a moment, Santana saw every muscle on Quinn's face relax. She looked surprised by Santana's response, but oddly satisfied. Santana meant every word. But she didn't realize how true it was until just that moment. Silence filled the room and Santana surprised both Quinn and herself by her words. It sounded so intense. It was. Over the past month and a half that they've known each other, Quinn has made a real impact on Santana. She's changed her and formed her into someone new. Someone different. And without Quinn as her guide, Santana would be doomed. Quinn cupped Santana's cheeks and her eyes sparkled with tears. Her lips curved in the slights of smiles. "You will never lose me." Quinn leaned in and slowly, she pressed a kiss on the tip of Santana's nose. It was gentle, comforting and innocent. Santana loved this side of Quinn.

But at the same time, dark, mysterious, and possessive Quinn turned her on within seconds. Santana took a few moments to cool herself off after the little moment they shared.

"What happened?" Santana asked when she calmed down from the sweet kiss. It wasn't on the lips but in a way, it felt more intimate than any kiss they've shared previously. Because it felt romantic. And Santana didn't _do _romance.

"What do you mean?"

Santana looked up at her and sighed. "After I… fainted? What happened after?"

Quinn nodded in understanding and slowly, her right hand began casually playing with Santana's hair. "I was so concerned about you that I wasn't really paying attention, but it was silent for a while. Neither of them really said anything. He let her inside reluctantly. I uhhh…" Quinn laughed shyly and scratched the back of her head. She trailed off and made it clear that she didn't plan on finishing her sentence.

"You what?" Santana question.

"Just seeing her face drove me crazy. I don't know if it's because I'm dating your father or because I saw how traumatized you were when she left 4 years ago, but I started yelling at her. I demanded that she leave and never show her face again, but… Your father was worried about you and told me to take care of you while he handled her. You were out cold for about 5 minutes. They've been yelling the whole time."

Santana's face softened. "You yelled at her?"

Quinn shrugged as if it was nothing. "Of course."

The Latina's eyes dropped slightly. Quinn yelled at her mother. But why? Was it because she was a jealous, possessive girlfriend, desperate to mark her territory? Or was it because she refused to let Maria anywhere close to Santana? Santana hoped for the latter because oddly enough, the former caused her chest to hurt. It pissed her off to think that Quinn was jealous of Maria because of her relationship with Richard. Santana didn't want Quinn to be jealous over anyone when it came to Richard. Only her.

God, this was all so twisted.

"Thank you," Santana whispered, and pulled away from Quinn's grip. She sniffed her runny nose, wiped her eyes and settled down into her own personal space.

"These past few months that I've been dating your father have been some of the best months of my life. But during our entire relationship, I've always felt so compared to your mother," Quinn admitted. Santana's ears perked and she slowly turned to look at Quinn. Was Quinn finally letting her in? "She was his everything. There's no denying it. Yes, it's been 4 years, but that man is still so torn about the divorce. When we first met, he was so hesitant about flirting with me, and he would always say 'I just got out of a serious relationship.' But that's not the truth because they got divorced _years_ ago." Santana nodded, her eyes squinting slightly in sympathy. "It hurts to think that I will never be enough for him, you know? Everything I do will be compared to how she did it. How I cook. How I clean. How I kiss. How I fu-"

"I get it," Santana hissed. She felt bad for getting so agitated. She liked the fact that Quinn was opening up to her, but she wasn't exactly interested in getting a lecture about how in love with Richard she was. It hurt.

Quinn looked over at her and smirked softly. "No need to get jealous."

Santana's head shot in her direction and denied it with wide eyes. "I-no-I was just-you were rambling. I am not jealous."

Quinn smiled fondly and nodded. "Whatever you say. Besides, she might be better for him, anyway."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows but remained silent.

"If what they have is true love, I refuse to get in the way of that. Yes, I like him very much, but if he's happier with her, then who am I to stand in the middle of that?"

The Latina looked down. "You seem a little too calm over the fact that you're boyfriend is downstairs talking with his ex wife."

"Everything happens for a reason, doll."

Santana bit her lip and smiled shyly.

The blonde smirked and chuckled softly as she nodded. "The point is, seeing her again fired something up in me. Yes, I'm worried that a part of him will fall for her all over again, but that wasn't the key to my anger."

"What do you mean?"

"When I saw her, I wasn't angry about the fact that she just walked right into my boyfriends life, again. I was more angry about how much she hurt you. I was furious at the thought that she might be in your life again. I didn't want to be replaced, in some weird way. I know that she was here first, but I just can't _s-stand _the thought of her waltzing back in here and taking you away from me," Quinn said in all honestly.

Santana's breath got caught in her throat. Her eyes widened at the confession and slowly, her eyes watered. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to her. The whole situation was twisted and weird, but Quinn's words meant so much. The blonde was worried about losing her, too. "Quinn.." Santana whispered softly.

"I know, I know, you're not mine to be taken away from. We've discussed this and I got the hint the first time. I'm not even talking about romantically, I'm just talking about in general. You're scared about losing me, right?"

Santana nodded slowly.

"Well I'm scared about losing you, too."

The Latina licked her lips and looked down, sighing heavily.

Quinn nodded. "It's true, San. When you collapsed earlier, it felt like my whole world stopped. I was so-fuck-I was so fucking scared. A part of me knew that you weren't in any danger, but seeing your eyes roll to the back of your head? It broke my heart." Quinn reached out and cupped Santana's cheeks, lifting her head up. Their eyes connected so intensely. "You can't scare me like that again, okay? Never."

Santana felt a tear slide down her cheek and she nodded. "Never," she agreed slowly.

The blonde slowly wiped away one of Santana's tears, smiled softly, and pulled away.

"It's my fault," Santana blurted, unable to hold it in anymore.

Quinn looked over at her curiously. "What is?"

"Her return. She's back because of me."

"Why do you say that?" Quinn asked.

Santana looked at her. "Because it's true. The only people that know this are Brittany and Dani but every night…. every night since she left, I've called my mother before I go to sleep. She never answered but about 3 weeks ago, she answered for the first time. I never said anything because I was taken off guard. I still called, and most of the time she answered, but we just sat in silence together. She knew it was me the whole time, I know it. And, well… last night I finally found the courage to say something. I spoke to her for a while and I demanded answers from here. She explained herself and gave me advice, and I promised I would call her again. And the next day… she showed up. It's my fault, Quinn."

The blonde sighed heavily, shut her eyes and rubbed her temple. "Wow."

"I feel so stupid."

"No," Quinn assured, rubbing her arms up and down. "Don't. She's your mother. It's not a crime to miss her. And who knows, maybe her presence will be a good thing. Maybe she'll finally heal you."

Santana shrugged helplessly. "I think I was healed a long time ago."

Quinn reached out and wiped her damp cheeks. "These tears tell me differently."

The Latina looked down and sighed. "I've been sad for a long time, Quinn. But lately, these tears are caused by something else."

"Like what?"

Santana looked up at her slowly and shook her head. "Don't make me say it."

Quinn met her eyes and for a moment, she considered pushing the subject with her playful personality and sexy wink, but she knew that Santana had a bad day. And maybe for once, she should let her off easy. "Okay." But they both knew what Santana was talking about. Santana has been crying so much recently because she's a lesbian. She's gay and she knew she was gay the moment she laid eyes on Quinn at 12 years old, but her dad fought the gay out of her. But now, being reunited with her again and brought back all of these tendencies and Santana feels lost. She has no idea who she is anymore, and losing yourself is one of the most emotional things a person can go through.

Santana exhaled a breath of relief when Quinn decided to let it go. She would forever be grateful. Because if Quinn made her admit to not being as straight as she thought, then Santana would never be able to be alone with her again. She refuses to let Quinn know how much of an affect she has on her. It's not fair.

The yelling from downstairs stilled for a moment or two.

"Do you think she's gone?" Santana asked, looking up at Quinn.

The blonde shook her head, seemingly convinced. "She won't leave without speaking to you."

"How do you know?"

Quinn looked down at her and smiled softly. "Because I wouldn't."

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door. Santana's breath got caught in her throat at the idea that her mother was on the other side of that door. Out of instinct, Santana's eyes shot to Quinn's, desperately seeking her help.

"Who is it?" Quinn asked, and Santana remained stiff the whole time.

"Maria."

Santana looked down and cleared her throat uncomfortably. She moved closer beside Quinn, seeking her protection even though she was a big girl and could definitely handle her mother by herself. "Come in," Santana said bravely.

They both watched the doorknob turn and the door slowly open. And there she was. Slim, tall and tanned. She had some work done, that much was obvious, because she hadn't aged a day since she last saw her. Her skin looked tighter, too. But even with some botox, Maria was always captivatingly beautiful.

"Hi, honey," Maria's voice was silky smooth. At the sound of the term of endearment, Santana could feel Quinn's arm tighten around her waist.

"Hi," Santana spoke back.

Quinn remained silent and tense beside her in the bed.

"Can I have a moment alone with my daughter, please?" Maria asked. Her voice wasn't angry or rude or anything. She actually sounded like she was pleading. Begging. She sounded like a visitor in the house rather than someone who used to live her.

Quinn looked down at Santana, asking for permission. Santana nodded, smiled softly and kissed Quinn's cheek. After the kiss, she whispered in Quinn's ear, "you're sorta cute when you're protective of me." The blonde pulled back with wide, yet pleased eyes. Her lips curved into a smirk and she let out a happy laugh.

"I'll be downstairs, S," she said as she slowly left the room. Not before glaring at Maria.

The door shut behind the blonde and Maria stayed standing with a slight twinkle of insecurity in her eyes. "She sure doesn't like me."

"Well what did you expect? She's dating Papa. Suddenly you show up, he goes A-wall, did you expect her to welcome you with open arms?" Santana asked, slightly surprised by how much she was standing her ground. Maria was always her weakness, but now she was fighting back. Quinn would be so proud. Okay, so jealousy wasn't the reason Quinn disliked Maria, but the older Latina didn't need to know the truth.

Maria nodded and tugged some hair behind her ear. "I guess you're right. You like her a lot, don't you?"

Santana's eyes widened and for a moment, she could have sworn her heart stopped. "What?!"

"You two seem to get along. It's a good thing. It makes things easier for your dad. I'm glad you have another female figure in your life to fill the space that I left."

The Latina exhaled a breath in relief. For a moment, she thought Maria had caught on to their love affair. Well… it was far from a love affair. But it was definitely something.

_Something. _

Something amazing. That's what they were, weren't they? Something amazing?

Santana liked to think so.

"Yeah," Santana brushed off, shrugging. "What are you doing here, Mama?"

Maria smiled softly. "It's nice to hear you call me that again."

"Answer me."

Her smile dropped instantly and she cleared her throat. "After our conversation, I couldn't stay away. I couldn't help but wonder what you looked like and whether or not you were happy. I just… I had to know."

Santana nodded slowly. She already knew the answer, but to have it confirmed made her feel like this. This was her fault. She was responsible for Maria's presence. "So you're not here to win Papa or I back?"

"No. I told you on the phone; your father was never the man I should have ended up with. He got me you, so I don't regret the years I shared with him, but I would have ended up resenting the both of you if I stayed there any longer. I'm not here to win you guys back. I'm simply here to say hello, I love you, and hope that maybe we can have some sort of relationship." Maria took a step closer to the bed and offered a hand. "I want to be in your life again, sweetie."

Santana looked down at the hand and her eyes filled with tears. This was the hardest decision of her life. Did she say yes and destroy every ounce of self respect and strength she had been building for the past 4 years? Or did she say no and destroy what could be a perfect opportunity to be reacquainted with her mother? The former was the safer option, but if the latter went smoothly, Santana could get her life back together. She could be happy. Or she could just end up more hurt than before.

"No." Santana said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Maria."

Maria inhaled sharply when she heard her daughter use her first name.

"Your title as my mother got destroyed the second you left us. You weren't a mother for 4 years of my life. The most important years of my life. I didn't have a mom to teach me how to put in a tampon, I didn't have a mom to tell me the ins and outs about boys, and I didn't have a mom to give me the sex talk when the time came. You ruined your chance. I'm sorry. I appreciate you coming back here and checking in on me, but I'm doing fine without you," Santana said with a strong nod.

Maria's eyes were widened in sadness. "Honey, I am so sorry that I wasn't there for you. I was dumb and impulsive, but I know better now. I can be here for you now. There is still so much I can teach you. Please give me a shot." Maria ran over to the bed and grabbed Santana's hand desperately, tears in her eyes.

Santana shot her hand out of Maria's grasp and shook her head. "Don't make this harder than it has to be. You had no problem saying goodbye to me 4 years ago. This should be a walk in the park. You're a pro at walking away from people. Why should this time be any different?"

For a moment, she saw hurt in Maria's eyes. "That's not fair."

"No? Don't talk to me about fair, Maria. Please leave. I would like for you to go."

Maria licked her lips and her eyes fell to the floor. Slowly, she nodded and walked towards the door. Santana followed behind her. Together, they walked down the stairs and Santana could see Quinn consoling an out of control Richard. He was pacing back and forth, tears had completely blurred his vision, and his hair was a mess from it's usual gel. Santana had never seen her father looked so stressed and disheveled. It broke her heart. She continued walking her mother to the front door.

"Bye, Richard," Maria called out. Santana winced and shook her head.

"No. Don't talk to him. You've done enough."

The woman nodded slowly. "Can I at least get a hug goodbye?"

Santana considered it and realized that maybe a hug was what she needed to have complete closure. She nodded, opened her arms, and stepped forward. Santana instantly relaxed into Maria's hold and sighed heavily. She remembered all the times they used to hug when she was younger. Too much has happened for them to go back to the way they used to be. Santana isn't the same woman anymore, and neither is Maria.

"You're so beautiful, my sweet girl," Maria whispered in her ear. "I am so proud of the woman you've become, gay or straight. You make me proud and live your life to the fullest." She pulled away from the hug and smiled at her daughter with watery eyes. "Don't make the same mistakes I did. When you find that girl you want to be with, go for it. Don't hold yourself back. I know how stubborn you are when it comes to your own feelings. I raised you, remember? Don't doubt love, honey. Don't push love away."

Santana didn't realize she was crying until Maria wiped away one of her tears. Her mother cupped her cheek with a soft smile. "I stopped believing in love when you walked out of that door 4 years ago," Santana admitted in a whisper. "If you and Papa couldn't make it work, I don't think that anyone can."

Maria sighed heavily and cocked her head to the side. "Sweetie… love is a powerful thing. It is the most beautiful and passionate thing you'll ever experience. Let it in. Let someone rehash your love. Please. Or you'll grow up regretting it."

The younger Latina nodded and let out a watery chuckle. "Love rehashed. I like that."

Maria smiled and nodded. "Bye, baby." And with that, Maria walked out of that front door for the second time, and this time, Santana wasn't nearly as sad. She accepted it. She knew that it was for the best.

When the door shut, Santana took a deep breath out. She shut her eyes in relief, happy that that mess was over with. Slowly, she turned around to look at her father and try to explain herself to him. She was almost positive that Quinn told him the reason why Maria showed up. He probably hated her.

The look in his eyes was a mix of panic and anger. She had never seen him look like that before. Let alone Quinn. Quinn looked scared, as well. Santana felt like she was missing something.

"Papa?" Santana asked, slowly approaching them.

"Santana go to your room," Quinn said. But it didn't sound demanding or rude. She sounded sad and disappointed. She sounded like she was trying to spare Santana the heart ache of what happened next.

Looking back, Santana wished that she listened to Quinn. She wished that she nodded, left it alone, climbed up those stairs, and locked herself in her bedroom. She wished she wasn't so fucking stubborn. Because even to this very day, this was Santana's greatest regrets. She should have never stayed.

Santana shook her head as she looked between Quinn and her father. She watched intently as Richard grabbed a glass from the cupboard, walk to the fridge, pull out a bottle of scotch, and pour himself a glass.

"Richard.." Quinn said in a warning voice, taking a step closer to him.

Words could never describe Santana's reaction to that. 30 years from now when they identify a whole new orchestra of words with new definitions, even then, no amount of words will properly convey how traumatic that vision was.

She felt her knee's buckle, her eyes widen, and her stomach twist. Santana felt like she was going to vomit, but at the same time, she wanted to scream and cry. She wanted to run up to Quinn, shake her, and demand that the blonde help her. She wanted to run up to Richard, knock the glass out of his hand, and hold him until the sun went down.

"Papa!" She screamed, slowly approaching him. Santana's vision was completely clouded by her tears. Her bottom lip quivered and she felt weak. "P-P-Papa stop. Please.. Daddy, don't."

Richard looked over at her and he looked emotionless. It was as if everything in his life had lost meaning. He kept eye contact with Santana as he lifted the glass to his lips and took a long drag. Santana watched in silence as he downed the entire glass.

"Richard, honey, please.." Quinn covered her mouth with her hand as her own eyes filled with tears.

They both watched as he poured another.

Suddenly, Santana's legs remembered how to move. She ran over to him, desperation in her eyes as she grabbed the bottle and pulled it away from him. She set in on the counter, keeping it as far away from him as possible. "Stop! You're better than this. Papa, listen to me," she cupped his cheeks, gently slapped them a few times to gain his attention. "She is not worth it." Santana's voice was so low and quiet, but panic was seeping through every word.

"Give me the bottle back, Santana," his voice showed no mercy. No empathy or regret. Nothing. Richard was gone.

"P-Papa, p-please.."

"_Give_ me the bottle!" He shouted.

Santana flinched. The last time he yelled at her like this was when he relapsed the first time. When Maria left the first time.

"No," Santana growled.

_Smack. _

Quinn gasped and Santana fell to the floor. The Latina winced and groaned in pain as she clutched her burning cheek. Her father just hit her. She could feel the hardwood beneath her and reality set in. Richard had relapsed. He slapped her. Santana looked up at him, crying and weeping in pain and shock. He looked down at her and for a moment, she saw regret in his eyes. But he was more focused on getting his drink. He grabbed the bottle from the counter and stormed upstairs. Santana buried her head in her hands and cried miserably.

Soon enough, Quinn was right beside her, holding her and kissing her forehead.

"Oh my god.." Quinn weeped, looking up to the ceiling as she tried desperately to hold back her tears.

They both flinched at the sound of the door slamming. Santana gasped and her eyes widened. She clutched her cheek, sat up, and looked at Quinn. "W-Why does e-everything have t-t-to fall apart?" She cried. Without thinking twice, Santana crawled into Quinn's lap. She needed the blondes comfort. She just needed to be close to her even if she would wake up regretting it. Her whole life just got destroyed in a matter of minutes and the only person that could ever make her feel better was the blonde beneath her.

"I am so sorry," Quinn cried, wrapping her arms around Santana's waist. There they were, sitting on the kitchen floor, pressed up against each other. They were flush against each other and even with her dad upstairs, drinking away his sorrows, Santana felt protected in Quinn's arms. She felt loved.

Santana wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and weeped. "He's never d-done that before," she promised, looking down at Quinn and wiping away her tears.

Quinn's hand on her lower back was firm and protective. "I know." Quinn looked up at her and one hand reached up and cupped Santana's red cheek. Her thumb swiped over the skin and her eyes travelled all over Santana's face. "I will never let him touch you again," she whispered and leaned forward, pressing a protective and small kiss on Santana's cheek bone. "You're too perfect," she added, kissing a little lower. Quinn continued, peppering kisses all over Santana's face. She eventually ended on her jawline.

Santana's eyes fluttered shut and she arched her back slightly, desperate for more skin to skin contact. "It's been such a hard day," she gasped, her tears eventually drying out as she shifted comfortably onto Quinn's lap. Santana put one leg on either sides of Quinn's hip so she was straddling her. Santana's brain wasn't working properly. She was so overworked and stressed over her mothers visit and her fathers relapse that everything she was doing was blurred. It's like she wasn't even present, but she knew that she wanted it.

She _needed_ something to remind her that she was alive. She needed Quinn. She would always need Quinn.

"Let me make you feel better, sweetie," Quinn whispered, her mouth ghosting over Santana's earlobe.

Santana nodded eagerly and sat closer on Quinn's lap. Their clothed pussies pressed together and Santana gasped. Her eyes widened in pleasure and she harshly bit on her lip.

"It's okay," Quinn told her, lovingly pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "You're safe with me."

The Latina nodded and threw her head back. She shut her eyes and tears slid all the way down her cheeks. She was so screwed. From upstairs, they could hear a bottle smash. Santana bit on her bottom lip to keep her whimper silent and slowly, she rocked forward.

She could hear Quinn moan from beneath her, and it only fired her up more. Santana grabbed onto the back of Quinn's neck firmly and licked her lips. She continued rolling her hips and gasped slightly at how good it felt.

"Does it feel good, honey?" Quinn asked.

Santana didn't respond. She felt so guilty and so disgusting about dry humping her possible step mom on the kitchen floor when her father was upstairs drinking away his pain, but it was the only thing that could help Santana at this time. The only thing she needed was Quinn. She wanted her. Her mother told her to stop running away from love, and she was right. Santana would stop running. She would chase after it with everything she had.

Quinn's hand on her lower back slid further until she grabbed her ass. She squeezed, not too roughly, but enough to earn a moan from Santana. "Answer me," she encouraged, bringing Santana's hips down harder and faster.

"Ahh.." Santana winced, gasping as she shut her eyes. Her jaw opened widely as she blindly continued grinding on top of Quinn. It was such an amazing feeling; the feeling of releasing all the tension from a horrible, horrible day. "Yes. It f-feels good."

Santana could practically hear Quinn smiling beneath her, and slowly, the blonde urged their lips together in a feverish kiss. It's been far too long since she's tasted the blonde. Santana moaned into her mouth, settling on her lap comfortably before grinding down. She hummed into the blonde's mouth and slowly slipped her tongue inside Quinn's mouth. Their tongues met and Santana could have sworn that she saw fireworks. It was even better than their first kiss. The first kiss was rushed in a public bathroom. It was frantic, needy, and filled with lust. This one however was entirely different. This one was out of comfort and desire. Santana doesn't just lust after Quinn anymore. She craves her. She needs her.

Santana bit on Quinn's lower lip and pulled it away slightly. She opened her eyes and was met with dark hazel eyes. "You sure?" Quinn whispered.

The Latina looked down. This was her chance to back out. She should be upstairs, desperate to help her father, but right now, she couldn't think of anything she wanted to do more than Quinn. "Positive," she whispered, nodding eagerly.

Both of Quinn's hands found Santana's ass, squeezing and kneading desperately. Meanwhile, Santana continued grinding down. Their clits bumped up against each other and Santana moaned uncontrollably. "F-Fuck.."

Quinn giggled from beneath her and in one solid movement, Santana was laying down on the kitchen floor, and Quinn was on top of her, straddling her. "I'm about to rock your world, Princess."

Santana smiled up at her and found herself actually laughing softly. Quinn was her knight in shining armour. Except her armour was pretty sun dresses and skin tight jeans. Quinn dropped down and their lips met in another needy kiss. Santana's eyes rolled to the back of her head as she kissed Quinn back with everything that she had. One of her hands reached up and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair, and the other one stayed by her side, too nervous to touch anything else.

Would this be their first time? Was she about to lose her lesbian virginity? It only counted if they were naked, right? Santana wasn't too sure, but all she knew was that she needed something to stop the numbing.

Quinn's hand started at her ribs and it slowly dragged down her body until it found her jeans. She clumsily found the button and the only thing that could be heard in the kitchen was the sound of a zipper unzipping. Santana moaned from beneath her as Quinn buried her hand in Santana's panties.

They both gasped at the feeling. Quinn practically growled at the feeling of Santana completely soaked between her finger tips. And Santana moaned because no one has ever driven her this crazy just with a touch.

"Ready?" Quinn asked, her smirk and devilish eyes gone. She was completely seriously.

Santana looked up at her, smiling softly. She was in complete awe of how nice and gentle Quinn was being with her. Santana nodded slowly, feeling a tear slip out of her left eye. It left a small puddle on the kitchen floor. "I'm ready," she said with a nod.

Quinn smiled and leaned in, kissing Quinn hotly. Meanwhile, her thumb found her clit. Santana's eyes widened and her whole body tensed at the feeling. Fuck. Holy fucking shit. Jesus fucking christ. Puck could never touch her like that. Puck clearly never knew what he was doing because he was nothing compared to Quinn. Quinn's thumb worked quickly and efficiently, meanwhile, her index and middle finger rubbed up and down her folds. Santana felt powerless to the pleasure. It was sinfully good. Who knew touching could be so fucking satisfying?

Their lips separated because Santana needed to breathe. "Holy fuck.." She gasped, jutting her chin forward.

Desperate, she bucked her hips up, needing more. Quinn chuckled from on top of her. "Hmm.. you're an impatient little thing, aren't you?" She asked, biting on her lip and smirking. "I promise I'll let you cum. Just enjoy yourself for now, babe."

Santana's eyes fluttered shut and her toes clenched at the feeling. It was so deliciously good. Quinn kissed along Santana's neck, leaving bites and sucking on certain parts. She slowly slipped her index finger inside of Santana.

"Oh my _fuck, Quinn.."_ Santana moaned.

"Hmm… I love hearing you moan my name," Quinn told her sinfully, pressing her single finger in and out. Santana eagerly humped Quinn's fingers every time.

Santana arched her back and banged on the floor. "Feels… so… good.." She panted, biting harshly on her lip.

Quinn's lips travelled down to Santana's collarbones, licking and sucking, and marking her territory. She smirked against her skin. "Remember this feeling, okay? No one, and I mean _no one,_" Quinn stopped her movements and looked up into Santana's eyes. She wanted to make a point, "can make you feel this way."

Santana whined when Quinn stopped touching her. She wiggled her hips, shut her eyes and kicked her feet. "Quinn…" She begged. "Please, fuck me.."

The blonde chuckled. "Not Puck. Not Brittany. Not this new fucker, Dani. No one."

Santana nodded frantically. "Okay. Okay, yes, yes!" She agreed, rolling her eyes.

Quinn smirked and continued her movements. Her index finger pumped in and out of Santana while her thumb rubbed her clit desperately. She peppered kisses all over her face. "Mine," she whispered lovingly against Santana's lips.

"Yours," Santana echoed. "Mine," Santana repeated.

Quinn stopped her movements and looked over at Santana. "Yours," she agreed with a soft smile.

Santana grinned and moaned again when Quinn slipped a second finger inside of her. "Are you close, San?"

Santana nodded desperately, kicking her feet and wiggling her hips. This was such pleasure. She never thought that sex could be so arousing and so intensely intimate. She never thought that lesbian sex could be better than straight sex. But here Quinn was, about to give her an earth shattering orgasm. She felt guilty about it because this was wrong on so many levels but she deserved it. She needed it.

Quinn picked up the pace. She rolled her hips frantically onto Santana, banging on the floor with each thrust. Her thumb pinched and flicked Santana's clit every few seconds, and her fingers pumped in and out of her quickly. Santana was practically seeing stars from how turned on she was. "You feel so good," Quinn gasped, kissing any available skin. "You're beautiful. You're perfect. I never want to see you cry. Never."

Santana's eyes squeezed shut and she felt something odd in the pit of her stomach. She knew that feeling. She recognized that feeling. "I'm… I'm so c-c-close, Q-Quinn…"

The hazel eyed blonde pulled away and nodded. "Thanks for the warning."

Santana furrowed her eyebrows, feeling slightly insulted that Quinn was so disgusted by the idea of Santana orgasming. Quinn didn't want to feel it. Santana was about to curl up in a ball out of embarrassment but before she knew it, a pair of lips were sucking on her clit. Her eyes widened in shock as she smacked the hardwood floor. She sat up, parted her legs as far as possible, and watched blonde hair disappear into her pussy. Fuck. Quinn wanted to taste her.

Quinn's tongue slid along her fold and wrapped around her clit. She was close.

"I'm… I'm coming.. I'm coming.." Santana warned, gasping when she felt the release coming. Her entire body relaxed as she fell back onto the floor. Her eyes widened and she looked up at the ceiling. She couldn't believe that just happened. Quinn just fucked her. They just had sex. Right? Wasn't that sex? She laid there, completely high off of her orgasm. Santana could feel Quinn buttoning and zipping up her jeans and before long, the blonde was curled up against her side.

"Don't you wanna taste yourself?" Quinn asked flirtatiously.

Santana had never heard that question before. Let alone hear it sound so darn tempting. She looked over at Quinn and bit on her lip. "Is that a thing?"

Quinn smirked and chuckled lightly. "Oh honey, you have so much to learn. We're going to have a lot of fun." And just like that, Quinn leaned in and connected their lips in the hottest kiss Santana has ever experienced in her life. The taste of herself was somehow arousing. Sweet and salty, and sort of bitter, but addicting. She wanted more.

They pulled apart and they both smiled lazily at each other. "So that just happened," Santana said, looking slightly regretful.

"Don't look like that," Quinn said, reaching out and cupping her cheek. "That was amazing. Please don't regret it." Panic flashed behind Quinn's eyes and Santana's face softened.

"I don't regret it," Santana promised, leaning in and pecking her lips softly. "But we need to clean up," she giggled and hid her face, blushing.

Together, they cleaned up the kitchen which mostly consisted of cum. They also made a little bit of a mess with the furniture, so they straightened that out. By the end of the night, Quinn walked Santana to her bedroom door and they both smiled sadly at each other. "I feel sort of guilty for doing that when he's going through such a hard time," Santana admitted, gesturing to her fathers bedroom door.

Quinn nodded slowly and reached out, adjusting Santana's shirt sweetly. "You're going through a rough time right now, too," she reasoned. "You deserved it. _We_ deserved it."

Santana smiled up at the blonde and blushed bashfully. "So…. good night?" She asked.

Quinn nodded and bit on her lip. "Good night." Quinn turned around and started walking towards the main bedroom. She stopped before she reached the door and turned to face Santana. "You're a good daughter, Santana. I know it's hard to think so after what we just did but you are. Sleep well, beautiful." With that, she smiled, and disappeared into the bedroom.

For the first time in months, Santana didn't cry herself to sleep.

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**Well? I hope you guys don't think that was rushed or stupid. I think it worked. Let me know? I'm nervous to hear what you guys think. **

**REVIEW!**


	16. Denial

**CHAPTER 16**

**Many of you have asked for it, so here it is. Quinn's perspective! I found it difficult to write in her perspective and attempt to make her both likeable and a little bitchy. Quinn's character is very distinctive. She has confidence and cockiness as well as sympathy. She's a bit of a mess so it's hard to write her while staying true to the essence of her character. **

**But, I love my readers, so this one is for you! Enjoy.**

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It finally happened. After months of knowing Santana, thinking about Santana, and wishing she could be with Santana, they finally had sex. It happened so fast and in many ways, Quinn felt horrible for doing it so soon. Especially with the given circumstances. Not 15 minutes earlier, her father slapped the brunette across the face moments after relapsing, and how do they celebrate? Having sex on the kitchen floor? Quinn has to admit, it was hot and mind-blowing in every way possible, but it probably wasn't very smart. She was the older one, she should have taken some responsibility and said no. But in reality, how could she say no to Santana?

Santana has been her dream girl from the moment she laid eyes on her in the coffee club. She was tall, tanned, and curvy. Santana was everything to Quinn. And yes, it was horribly inappropriate to crush on your boyfriends daughter, but Quinn couldn't help it. She threw all her morals out the window because she wanted Santana and promised herself that she would do anything possible to win her over.

It started out as an innocent appreciation of her beauty. When Quinn laid eyes on Santana for the first time, she literally felt her heart skip a beat. It sounds cheesy and corny or whatever, but her heart literally stopped for a moment. She was so beauty. The Latina was sitting there, her arched back slightly in her seat, and she was so engaged with the blonde across from her. Quinn wanted nothing more than to be that blonde.

Without knowing her name or her story, Quinn automatically knew that that girl was something special. Sure, at the time Quinn was already dating Richard, but looking wasn't cheating. Neither was imagining, right? Because she definitely went home that day and imagined the Latina with a lot less clothing.

She was hot, and Quinn was human. It was normal to find her attractive, even despite the age difference.

Now, when she saw her a second time, Quinn's heart stopped again, but for a completely different reason. She couldn't believe her luck. Did God hate her _that_ much? It was the worst position to be in! Her boyfriend just happens to be the father of the amazingly sexy girl she's fantasizing about. Santana was more than off limits, and anyone who knew Quinn, knew that that only made her want her more. Whenever Quinn couldn't have something, that was when her passion intensified for it. So Santana was practically wearing an 'off limits' T shirt, and that only made Quinn want her more.

The dinner was uncomfortable, to say the least. Santana thankfully didn't seem to remember, so Quinn didn't have to explain herself at all. However, she did need to get on Santana's good side. If she was going to continue dating Richard, then she needed to make sure that the daughter approved of their relationship.

And oddly enough, she seemingly won Santana over. That is, until the brunette had a flash of recognition in her eyes. Fuck.

During their conversation in the washroom, Quinn's attraction towards Santana only grew. The Latina was just so tiny and so sexy while still being so adorable. And when she screamed and her eyes got all serious, it made Quinn want to pin her against the door and fuck her brains out.

Thos kinds of thoughts were not helping her. She was supposed to love Richard. But his daughter was just so….

Tempting.

Quinn hated herself for being so fucking creepy. She wasn't normally like this. She was 30 years old, and at this point in her life, she doesn't exactly have much to be proud of. Woah, she was a good student, a cheerleader, and she's a photographer. Besides that, she doesn't have any other accomplishments. Her parents hate her, and her boyfriend is 12 years older than her. She's not exactly the worlds greatest daughter.

So when she saw Santana, she saw a purpose. She saw excitement and a change. Quinn was hungry for it.

But as she got to know the brunette, it was no longer about passionate, impulsive sex. It was no longer about crossing something off of her bucket list.

She liked Santana.

Quinn genuinely liked the girl. They got along great, and Santana wasn't afraid to call her out on her shit.

When they kissed for the first time, Quinn couldn't have asked for a better kiss. It was in the middle of an argument, so it was hot and rough, but at the same time, it was also sweet. Santana was sweet. And her lips tasted like strawberry. From that moment on, Quinn was addicted to her.

She offered more than Richard ever could. Santana was younger, more fun, and way easier to talk to. And sure, Quinn is being a total hypocrite by being with both of them, but it's not as easy as it sounds. She couldn't possibly choose. Not because it's too hard, but because if she broke up with Richard, odds are, she would never see Santana agin. And that was something she never wanted to imagine.

Santana had become such a major part in her life and the idea of never seeing her again broke her heart. Yes, her heart. Didn't think she had one, did ya?

If it came to the point where she had to choose, she would pick Santana every time. But it's the aftermath that terrifies her. They could never be together. But that kiss they shared at the end of the night, when they said goodbye, Quinn felt things that she never thought she could feel. It wasn't lust or desire, it was something far more real. Something far more intimate. That kiss was beautiful and meant everything to her. It was the perfect way to say goodbye.

A month or so passed before anything serious happened. When the doorbell rang, Quinn never imagined that it would be anyone important, let alone Richard's ex wife and Santana's mom. It took her completely by surprise. As far as Quinn knew, it was a regular day, and she was still hung up on the name 'Dani' to process the whole situation. But there she was. Tanned, tall and skinny. Even without hearing the woman's name, just by the sight of her and the way she held herself, Quinn knew who it was.

She could see Santana wobbling slightly on her feet before she collapsed. Quinn was genuinely scared for the girl. If she hadn't caught the brunette, god knows what would have happened. But she caught her and tried to zone out the argument happening behind her.

She was far too focused on Santana's well being to care, anyhow.

She carried the girl upstairs and savoured every moment of holding Santana in her arms, because she didn't know if she would ever get the opportunity to do it again.

Santana was out cold for about 5 minutes, and every second that passed, Quinn got more and more worried.

Thankfully, the brunette beauty was awake by the time Quinn got out of the bathroom. Talking to her in that moment was so bittersweet. It was the first time they've really been alone since they parted ways, but Santana was also so emotionally torn apart by the return of her mother. Quinn did everything possible to distract Santana away from the noise just a floor below them. That wasn't something any 16 year old should hear. They talked for a while, and Santana ended up opening her heart to the blonde. It was such a beautiful moment because Quinn knew that Santana trusted her enough to tell her all of these things. She was so grateful for the brunette.

When Maria came into Santana's room, Quinn was practically fuming. She hated the woman. She hated her for leaving her family out of the blue and breaking Santana's little heart. Quinn saw 12 year old Santana just moments after her mother left. She held the little girl in her arms and listened to her cry. Quinn saw the aftermath, and for that, she hated Maria. But she wanted to speak to Santana, and Quinn would never deny that. No matter how much she wanted to. So, she stepped aside and walked downstairs to comfort her boyfriend.

He was hurting, too.

Quinn walked down the steps and sighed in relief to find Richard sitting on the couch in the living room. "Baby?" She called out, slightly nervous. He just experienced the worst possible thing that could happen to him. She needed to make sure that he was okay. Quinn walked over to him and slowly sat beside him. Richards head was down, and he was twiddling his thumbs. He was very jittery and he was definitely sweating.

"Why did she come back?" He asked repeatedly, practically mumbling it under his breath.

Quinn's eyes softened in remorse. She felt horrible for him, but at the same time, she couldn't help but wonder why this was affecting him so much. It was his ex wife. He had moved on, and it has been 4 years! Wasn't Quinn enough for him? "If I had to guess, I would say that she came back for your daughter," Quinn suggested, reaching out and touching his back comfortingly.

He tensed at the touch and Quinn frowned to herself. "It's too late. It's been 4 years, Quinn!" He hissed, looking over at the blonde with anger and fear in his eyes. "Seeing her again….it reminded me how torn apart I was when she left. How weak I was."

As Richard spoke, Quinn's eyes cast downwards in fear. What was he trying to say? "Rich.."

He stood up before she could even finish her sentence. "I need a drink," he spoke abruptly.

Quinn's eyes widened, standing up as well. He was in a hurry as he rushed over to the kitchen and searched the fridge for a bottle of something strong. "Honey, no! Stop," she practically begged him, grabbing onto his arm and squeezing it. She needed him to realize that she was here. She was here and she wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't going to walk out on him like Maria did.

Well, maybe that wasn't fair to say, considering she had made out with his daughter. The truth was, she was no better than Maria. If anything, she was worse. But he didn't need to know that.

"Don't touch me, Quinn," he said, his voice low, clearly warning her.

He grabbed the bottle, set it on the counter, and grabbed a glass. "Don't do this, Richard. Listen to my voice. 3 and a half years sober. Don't throw it all away. Don't let her win." Quinn's voice was calm, cool and collected, but on the inside, she was screaming at him to be the better man.

Richard looked over at Quinn, his eyes pooling over with tears. "She b-brings out t-the worst in me, Q-Q.." He stuttered, his bottom lip quivering.

Quinn sighed in sympathy and walked towards him. She grabbed onto his hand, rubbing soothingly. "I know, Richard. I know. But if you do this, you would be hurting me and you would be betraying your daughter. Be stronger than this."

Their eyes met for the briefest of moments. For a second, Quinn thought that he was going to agree with her and put the bottle away. She could see the hesitance in his eyes and her heart raced with anticipation. "Think about Santana. Think about what this would do to her," she reasoned. Even saying Santana's name made her heart race in the most pleasant way, and that just wasn't acceptable. Whatever was happening between them had to stop. For good.

Richards eyes shut and he lazily popped the bottle open. "Santana was alone last time I relapsed. She had to deal with it all by herself and I hated myself because of that."

Quinn nodded, hoping that his monologue would have a happy ending. He poured the drink into the glass and lifted it up, eyeing it like it was his worst enemy. Quinn took a step closer out of fear.

"But this time she has you," and with that, he downed the glass.

"Richard, no!" Quinn cried, rushing towards him. She watched with wide, fearful eyes as he swallowed the alcoholic beverage. His eyes lightened up and he hungrily licked his lips as he poured himself a second glass.

She could already see the aftermath of his relapse. Santana would be torn apart. She would lock herself in her room and cry herself to sleep every night. She would probably never talk to Quinn again. This was all her fault.

Quinn heard footsteps walking down the stairs and her heart dropped. Santana shouldn't see this. Quinn stood in front of Richard, desperate to hide him, at least until Maria left. She listened slightly to Maria and Santana's goodbye, and she licked her lips and the advice that the woman gave her daughter. Pretty good advice.

The next five minutes happened in a flash. Santana discovered her fathers relapse, she tried everything to make him stop, and he slapped her across the face.

Quinn gasped, her eyes widened, and they quickly filled with tears.

She was dating a monster.

How could he hit her? How could he possibly lay a hand on the best thing that ever happened to him? Quinn was so beyond furious with him. If Santana wasn't in pain, Quinn would have followed him upstairs and spent the whole night yelling at him for being such a horrible man. But she saw Santana, laying there, sobbing and clutching her cheek, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort the Latina.

And comfort her she did.

The night was mind-blowing. She felt guilty, of course, but god, it felt so right. Being with her, fucking her, kissing away her tears; it was perfect. It was exactly as she had imagined it. Quinn just hoped that Santana didn't wake up the next morning and regret it. Judging by the sound of her orgasm, Santana wouldn't regret that for a while.

When they said goodnight, Quinn found herself missing the girl the moment her bedroom door shut.

She was doomed.

Quinn walked back into the master bedroom and found Richard passed out on the bed. In his hand, he was still holding his glass, and there was about one sip left. The bottle was on the night stand, and he was sleeping on top of the covers.

The blonde sighed heavily at the sight of him. How could have things gotten so messed up within a matter of minutes? Clearly, Richard never truly got over his ex wife, or he wouldn't have had such a giant reaction to her appearance. Deep down, whether he admitted it or not, Richard would forever be in love with her. Quinn would always be his second option. She walked over to his bed, grabbed the glass and set it carefully on the nightstand. She efficiently changed him out of his dress clothes, and tucked him under the covers.

For a moment, Quinn debated getting into the bed beside him, but then she remembered how harshly he slapped Santana on the face.

_Smack._

It practically echoed through the house.

In disgust, Quinn changed into her pajamas, and moved her things onto the couch. That would do for now.

* * *

A soft hand caressed her cheek, and that's how she woke up.

Every other night, Quinn would set an alarm bright and early for the following morning so she was awake and ready to make breakfast for Santana. But it was a Sunday, so she allowed herself to sleep in.

Her eyes fluttered open and she was met with hazel eyes. Richard was crouched down beside her, cupping her cheek and smiling lovingly at her. "Morning, angel," he whispered.

Quinn couldn't find it in herself to smile back. Usually, when he called her any term of endearment, her heart would flutter and the smile would be inevitable. But now, all she wanted to do was spit in his face and run upstairs to Santana. The relapse, she could understand. Addiction was a disease and wasn't fair to be mad at him for being weak. But the abuse? What was something she would never tolerate.

Quinn sat up on the couch, grabbed the blanket, and curled away from him.

"Why did you sleep on the couch? I missed you when I woke up."

She shut her eyes before glaring at him. "Do you remember _anything_ from last night?" She asked in disbelief.

Richard's smile instantly fell. Clearly he thought that his actions didn't matter. "I… Yes. Yeah, I remember all of it."

"So then why on _earth_ do you look so smug right now?" She demanded.

The man let out a breath of air and sat on the edge of the couch. "Because I'm going to make it better. I promise."

"Yeah? And how are you going to do that?"

"I'm going to apologize to Santana, and I'm going to quit drinking. It'll be a hard process but with my two favourite girls, I know I can do it."

Quinn sighed heavily and allowed her eyes to close. "Sweetie, I admire your courage, but it is _not_ that simple."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "And why not?"

"Last night changed… everything," she spoke honestly. Quinn was not only referring to his relapse, but she was also referring to the sex she had with Santana moments after he stormed upstairs.

"It's not unfixable."

Quinn sighed heavily. "Yes it is!"

Richard smiled slowly and shook his head. He grabbed her hands and leaned towards her. "Why do you say that?"

The blonde scoffed in disbelief. She jumped up from the couch, and stood over him. "Because you hit your daughter last night! Because you relapsed! And because you were selfish! You think Maria's appearance only affected you?! Santana was fucking heartbroken last night, Rich. You didn't bother to ask how she was doing, but instead, you laid your hand on her precious little face and piled onto her shitty problems."

Richard slowly stood up as well. "Lower your voice, Quinn. She is still sleeping."

"Oh so now you _care_ about her? That is laughable, Richard. A good nights sleep doesn't change what happened last night." Quinn stormed away from the living room and into the kitchen, needing space from him.

But of course, as usual, he followed right behind her. His eyes looked sad and guilty, and Quinn couldn't deny that he clearly felt horrible for what happened last night. But feeling bad didn't take it all away. "Don't judge me. And don't you dare try to imply that I don't care about my daughter. She is the best thing I have going for me right now. But last night… I made a _mistake!_" He grabbed onto Quinn's hands and held him in his own. "Can't you understand that?"

Quinn snatched her hands away from Richard's. "I _do not_ tolerate hitting."

His eyes softened and for a moment, Quinn could have sworn that she saw tears accumulating in his eyes. "I know, baby." He reached out and cupped Quinn's cheeks. "I know you don't, and that's what I love about you. But you know me. That guy last night… that's not the guy that I want to be. That's _not_ the guy that I _am._"

The blonde licked her lips and rubbed her temples. Thankfully, the sound of Santana walking down the stairs prevented her from answering Richard.

Quinn turned around and looked at the brunette beauty walking down the stairs. She looked tired, yet somehow, she always managed to give off the essence of beauty. She literally took Quinn's breath away. It was strange seeing her after the night they shared together. Quinn touched every part of her. Fuck, she tasted so delicious last night. Would things be weird between them, now?

Santana's eyes were locked on Quinn's, and if Quinn didn't know any better, she would have guessed that she saw Santana's lips quiver upward. A hint of a smile. Quinn smiled back. She studied Santana's face and her eyes darkened at the sight of bruising underneath Santana's eye.

Fuck.

Quinn felt fury boil in the pit of her stomach at the sight of Santana looking so fragile and hurt.

She took a protective step towards the Latina and carefully, Quinn reached out and caressed the bruise. "Does it hurt?" She whispered to Santana, knowing full well that Richard was watching them from a few steps away.

Santana instinctively leaned into the touch and her eyes turned sad. Watery, almost. "A little," she whispered back.

"Santana," Richard's voice butt in.

Quinn sighed heavily and stepped away from the girl. She needed to give the two of them room, no matter how much it bothered her. She made sure to stand close enough that she could still hear what they were saying.

"I am so-"

"Don't," Santana interrupted him. Quinn smiled to herself. "Don't apologize. Please? Because 'sorry' means that it'll never happen again. And I'm not exactly sure if I can trust that."

There was a pause before Richard jumped. "I will never hurt you again," he said, rather convincingly if Quinn was being honest. "Last night was so hard for me and I took it out on you. It won't happen again. I promise."

Santana nodded and scratched the back of her head. "Last night was hard on me too, Papa. And you only made it worse. I mean… you relapsed!"

"I know, sweetie. I know. I'm weak, but that's all it was. It was a moment of weakness."

"You didn't feel all that weak last night," she retorted. Quinn's eyes widened and she found herself smirking despite the serious conversation. Her girl was so sexy when she stood up for herself.

Richard sighed heavily. "Look, sweetie-"

"I don't wanna hear your excuses. Can you just promise me that you're not going to drink anymore?"

Silence filled the room. Quinn furrowed her eyebrows, wondering if he gave her a silent response. Maybe he nodded his head? Quinn turned around to face them and she simply saw the two of them staring at each other.

"Honey, it's not as simple as that."

"Are you going to drink anymore?" She asked again, less understanding this time.

Richard sighed heavily and bowed his head. "I can control it."

Santana's lips curved downwards and her bottom lip quivered slightly. She nodded urgently and let out a bitter laugh. "Right. Exactly as I suspected." And with that, she ran upstairs and slammed her bedroom door.

* * *

Dinner that night was awful. It's hard to see someone that you genuinely care about throw their life away. Because that's what was happening.

They were all sitting at the table, no one was saying a word. They were all in their own little world. But every once and a while, the only sound that could be heard was Richard casually drinking from his wine. He made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. He made it seem like this was something he could control.

He was tearing the family apart, and he was harming himself in the progress.

* * *

That night, lying beside Richard, Quinn heard something coming from the other room. It was so faint that if she focused on something else, the sound would have disappeared. But paying attention to it, it was beginning to strike up her curiosity. It was definitely coming from Santana's room.

Quinn looked over at the time. It was almost 2 in the morning. How was Santana even awake at this point?

The blonde glanced at her boyfriend and sighed, extremely disappointed in him. He was killing himself and he was breaking Santana apart. She slid out from under the covers and tip toed out of the room. Quinn just had to find out what that noise was.

She walked over to Santana's bedroom door, and stood behind it for a moment. She listened very carefully and her heart ached at what she heard. She literally felt like someone punched her in the stomach.

Santana was crying. She was crying herself to sleep. Quinn sighed heavily and knocked on the door lightly.

The crying instantly stopped.

"H-Hello?" A shaky voice called out.

"Santana? It's me, sweetie. Can I come in?" Quinn asked, desperate to be let inside. She just wanted to hold Santana. She wanted to kiss her forehead, hold her close, and promise her that they were going to be okay. Quinn couldn't stand what Richard was doing to her. Santana deserved so much better.

Santana didn't respond for a while and Quinn wondered if that was a no, or if the girl simply fell asleep.

However soon enough, the door handle turned and the door creaked open. Standing there, in nothing but a baggy t shirt was Santana. Her eyes were red from the crying, and her hair was ratted. She looked so breathtaking and so sad. Quinn pouted at the sight of her.

"Don't cry," she pleaded.

Santana offered her a sad smile and shrugged. Without saying a word, Santana stepped aside, opened the door wider, and gave Quinn space to walk inside.

The blonde stared at the open space, and wondered if she was being invited to spend the night in the room with her. However, she wasn't going to ruin the opportunity to make Santana feel better. Quinn walked into the bedroom and stared at the bed.

Santana shut the door and wordlessly walked back to the bed. She got under the covers, and curled into herself. Her back was to Quinn. "Can you just h-hold me? P-Please?"

Quinn's heart broke in that moment. No one as amazing as Santana should have to deal with something as tragic as this. She did not deserve this. "Of course," Quinn agreed. She climbed into the bed as well, and slipped her legs under the covers. Nervously, Quinn pressed her body fully against Santana. They've already had sex, so Quinn didn't really understand why she was so hesitant about spooning Santana, but for some reason, in that moment, holding the brunette while she cried felt far more intimate than any amount of sex that they could share.

Santana was at her most vulnerable. She was weak and fragile and she just needed Quinn to hold her. So she would. Quinn curled right up behind Santana, wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist, and held her close. Quinn kissed the back of her neck and allowed her lips to linger. "He's going to get better, San. I promise."

The brunette mutely nodded and Quinn could feel tears dropping onto her own hands. "I hope s-so," Santana whimpered.

"Sleep, baby. I'll still be here in the morning." She pressed another kiss to Santana's neck, and together, they both fell asleep.

* * *

Hours turned into days, and before either of them knew it, it's been a week since he relapsed. A week and no progress. If anything, he was only getting worse. There was about 9 days left until Santana's birthday, and Quinn wanted to make sure that that entire day was filled with fun and was stress free. She could only turn 17 once, and that day needed to be perfect otherwise Quinn would never forgive herself. In a way, she felt responsible for this.

"It's Santana's birthday next week," Quinn brought up casually one night before they went to bed.

Richard was about 3 beers deep. He wasn't drunk, but for an alcoholic, even 3 beers is enough to get them wired. "Yes, thank you honey, I own a calendar, too."

Quinn scoffed and rolled her eyes. _This isn't really him_, she reminded herself over and over. _Don't blame him._ "So have you thought about what to get her?"

"I don't know. Some clothes? We'll take her out to a nice restaurant."

The blonde nodded in agreement. "It would be nice if you could spend that day sober. For her. I think she would really like that."

Richard looked over at Quinn and furrowed his eyebrows. "Stop treating me like I have a problem. I told you, I have this under control."

"Drinking every day before 12 pm is _not_ under control."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "I'm fine!"

Quinn sat up straight on the bed and looked over at him. "No, you are so far from fine. I don't even recognize you anymore, Richard! I understand that this is an illness, and I'm trying my hardest to be sympathetic, but your daughter is crying herself to sleep every night because you refuse to take this illness seriously!"

"I take it seriously."

She laughed at that. "Then quit."

Richards face dropped. He considered it briefly before shaking his head. "It's not a problem. I have it under control."

* * *

"I was thinking we could all have water for dinner tonight," Quinn suggested, smiling encouragingly at Santana. Santana smiled back, a slight gleam of hope in her eyes.

Richard laughed. "That's boring. I'll just have a beer. But you guys can have water. That's cool, too."

* * *

Quinn was getting impatient. With exactly a week until Santana's birthday, the blonde had to act now. She knocked on Santana's door and peaked her head in shyly with a smile. "Are you busy?" She asked.

Santana appeared to be painting her toenails. She looked up and instantly smiled at Quinn. The blonde's heart melted at the sight. "Not at all," she encouraged, patting the spot on the bed beside her.

Quinn walked over and took a hesitant seat. "That's a pretty colour."

"Thanks, I think so, too."

Silence filled the room.

"Whatever it is you have to say, just say it," Santana encouraged, looking over at her as she smiled knowingly.

The blonde cleared her throat and nodded. "Right. I um… I was thinking about your father, and his…-"

"Problem," she filled in.

"Right. His problem. He doesn't seem to be showing any progress, nor does he seem to _want_ to _make_ any progress. That scares me because if he doesn't want to get better, then he never will. So, I did a little research, and I found this great facility about 20 minutes from here. It's a 30 day process that offers him the best help with great therapy and counselling."

That seemed to catch Santana's attention. The Latina's head shot up and she stared at Quinn. "Wait, what? You want to send him off to rehab?"

Quinn's eyes softened slightly. "Santana, it's the only way."

"It is _not_ the only way. No. No, I won't let you do that to him."

She reached out and grabbed Santana's hand. "He isn't getting any better, Santana. This is killing him. He needs help. Professional help. There is only so much that you and I can offer him."

Santana shook free of Quinn's grasp and shook her head. "No. I don't support this. It's… It's my b-birthday in a week, and I don't want him locked up in some facility while I'm celebrating. I want him here."

Quinn sighed heavily. "Wouldn't you rather him be getting help on your birthday, rather than unknowingly suffering? If he doesn't go, he's going to spend the rest of his life damaging himself and refusing to admit that there is something wrong. This could be good for him, Santana. Don't you want your father back?"

Her bottom lip began to quiver and Quinn could tell that Santana was close to tears. "I j-just want this to a-all go away. I want everyone to b-be happy."

The blonde sighed, reaching out and grabbing Santana's hand for a second time. Thankfully, Quinn didn't move her hand away this time. "Right now, he is not happy. He might think that he is, but he isn't."

"You can do what you want, but I don't support this."

Quinn shut her eyes sadly. "He won't go unless you're on board with this."

Santana shrugged carelessly. "Well then I guess he's not going."

"Sant-"

"Please leave," she begged, moving further away on the bed and pointing to the door.

Quinn nodded and silently stood up from the bed. She walked over to the bedroom door and looked back at Santana. "I beg for you to reconsider." And with that, she left.

* * *

Quinn woke up extra early the next morning so that she could set up before Richard came downstairs. She had a pamphlet on the facility, and she wanted him to read it before making any rash decisions. She needed him to be open minded.

Positive that this would work, even without Santana's consent, Quinn rehearsed what she was going to say while she made breakfast for him. The usual eggs and bacon would always work. And instead of a spiked orange juice, she served him regular orange juice. Without vodka in it.

Quinn set the table for him, dimmed the lights slightly, and placed one of the pamphlet's on the table across from him.

Waiting for him to wake up, Quinn simply sat down and patiently waited.

A part of her wondered if she was crossing a line. They've only been dating for 6 months, she only met Santana 2 months ago, and she's only been living here for about a month. So maybe this wasn't her place. Maybe she should take a step back and Richard deal with this himself.

However, when she heard his heavy footsteps walking down the stairs, Quinn knew that she was doing the right thing. She was only doing what was best for Richard. She was saving him from himself, and that could never be a bad thing.

"Something smells good," his voice called out. He turned a corner and entered the kitchen.

Quinn sat there, trying to remain calm. His hair was a mess, and he still looked very handsome. However it was clear that he had a headache from the night before. Hangover. That was more than enough inspiration to go through with the plan. "I made you breakfast," she said with a stern smile.

He smiled, walked over to the table and kissed her forehead lovingly. "Thank you, baby. You usually only make breakfast for Santana. For a while I thought maybe you liked her more than you liked me."

Her eyes widened. She exhaled in relief when he laughed. Oh, right. He was kidding. That was a joke, of course.

Richard sat across from her, not yet looking at the pamphlet. He took an eager sip of the orange juice and as he swallowed it, he didn't look satisfied. That's because it wasn't spiked. Quinn cleared her throat and smiled softly. "So I wanted to discuss something with you."

He hummed, showing her that he was paying attention while he ate.

"I want you to let me finish before you interrupt, okay?" He nodded. "Richard, you have a problem. You've had this problem long before we met. I knew what I was getting myself into when we went out on our first date and you ordered a water. I know how hard it is to deal with addiction. My mother was an alcoholic. Every day is harder than the last. I get it, sweetie, I do. As your girlfriend, I am _here_ for you. Every step of the way. But it's hard to be here for you when you don't seem to want any help."

"Qui-"

She lifted her hand up and shook her head. "No interruptions. Please. I have practically begged you to at least _try_ and quit for the past week and a half, but you don't seem to really care, and that breaks my heart. You're not the man that I was so drawn to 6 months ago. Santana is a mess and this family is getting torn apart. I know that this is your weakness, but I'm begging you to dig deep and try to find that thing that made you strong all these years." Quinn, with shaky hands, nervously slid the pamphlet over to him. She watched as his eyes looked down at the slip of paper. "There is an amazing facility about 20 minutes from here. They treat people like you every day. There is a 95% success rate. I sent them an email and they offered to take you in for a 30 day program. With therapy and treatments, it's practically guaranteed that you'll come back a new man. Please, baby. Do this for me."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He lifted up the pamphlet and opened it up, reading the whole thing. His eyes skimmed over the most important information and he nodded slowly. Just when Quinn thought she got through to him, he closed it. "No. I don't need professional help, Quinn. I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I can handle this myself."

"Richard-"

"No. Don't ambush me like this. I'm not going away for 30 days, not with Santana's birthday just around the corner, and not when I don't have a problem. I am handling this." Richard stood up from the kitchen table and turned around to leave. Just as he was about to storm up the stairs, Santana was standing there. She was hanging off the railing, listening into the conversation. Her eyes looked sad, but she was standing her ground.

"Papa, please. You need help. This place could really help you."

Richards eyes found hers and clearly, all he needed was Santana's push. All he needed was to hear Santana agree that he needed help. The moment his daughter turned on him, then that was when everything stopped mattering. He bit on his bottom lip and bowed his head. His eyes were focused on the ground as he nodded slowly.

Santana walked over, touched his shoulder and rubbed encouragingly. "Do this for me." She repeated Quinn's words from earlier, and clearly, coming from Santana's mouth changed everything.

He nodded miserably and wrapped his arms around Santana desperately. "Okay. O-Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Quinn watched them from the other side of the room. Her heart clenched at the sight. It was so painfully beautiful. Their relationship was so touching and so inspiring and Santana was so strong. Quinn admired her so much.

Quinn and Santana were standing by the front door, looking out onto the driveway. Richard was sitting in the passenger seat of the car as a doctor drove them away. The man looked at them through the dashboard. He had tears in his eyes and a bittersweet smile. He waved, wiped his tears and looked away from them. It was clear to Quinn that it was hurting him too much to look at their faces.

He probably felt so ashamed.

Quinn wrapped a secure arm around Santana's waist, holding her close. Richard probably couldn't see the touch from where he was, so Quinn didn't have to worry about getting caught. She rubbed Santana's hip comfortingly and watched with sad eyes as the car drove away.

They both waved goodbye to him, and when the car was out of side, Quinn shut the door and turned to face Santana.

Santana was crying as well. Quinn reached out and wiped away a stray tear.

"He's going to be okay, r-right?" She whispered, her voice sounding so insecure and so worried.

Quinn smiled softly and nodded. "He's going to be more than okay."

"And us?"

The blonde bit on her lip and looked down. "We're great."

* * *

**So there it is! The first and only glimpse into Quinn's POV. I hope I did it justice. **

**Now that Richard is away at rehab, what will our girls get into? ;) ;)**

**Review!**


	17. Mister Mystery

**CHAPTER 17**

**It has come to my attention that a few of you seem to think that Quinn's behaviour is both dangerous and abusive. That is ****_not_**** the kind of message I was trying to give, here. Quinn is possessive, yes, and her connection towards Santana is very passionate, but she is the furthest thing from abusive. Quinn definitely still has some self esteem and personal issues she needs to sort out, but it was not my intention to make their relationship seem unhealthy. **

**You know, besides the age difference. **

**Anyway, here we go!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! My reviews have been slowly decreasing and I get less and less motivated to write more when few people are encouraging me.**

* * *

Santana never imagined that she would be in this position. Her mother gone, her father in rehab, and her dads girlfriend playing a bigger role in her life than she ever imagined possible.

2 months ago, Quinn meant nothing to her. She was simply a fear. Someone she was terrified of meeting. She was a fantasy. Someone that was making her father lie to her and sneak around. 2 months ago, Santana didn't care for Quinn.

But now? Now Santana was in trouble. Now she could hardly go 10 minutes without thinking about the gorgeous blonde with the infectious laugh and warm smile. She couldn't go an entire day without talking to her or she'd go crazy. Quinn now played a huge role in her life. She was her family. And she was also someone that Santana desired, and that scared her even more.

Santana stopped believing in love a long time ago. Now, she was almost positive that this wasn't love, but whatever it was, it was powerful and scary. It was scary because she knew that no matter what they decided to do, she would end up getting hurt.

They couldn't possibly work.

Quinn was not only 14 years older than her, but she's also slept with her father. That's not exactly a normal conflict that couples face, but it would definitely be an obstacle later on.

And now with her father off in rehab, Santana didn't know how she was supposed to deal with it. For 4 years, Richard has been by her side, tucking her in at night, hugging her tightly in the morning, and using his kind words to pick her up after a hard day. He was her father, for christ sake. And now he was locked in some facility, forced to face his addiction. And Santana was alone.

Well, she wasn't really alone, was she?

Quinn was there.

When Santana watched Richard drive away, she could literally feel her heart break. She never thought that this would happen to him. When he relapsed the day Maria left, Santana thought that _that_ was his rock bottom. She figured that they could only go up from there. She watched him fall and every day after that, she helped build him back up. And once he was sober, Santana figured that that was the end of it.

Clearly she never expected this.

A part of her wanted to hate him. She wanted to hate him for slapping her, for breaking his promise, and for being such a mess. She wanted to hate him for leaving her alone, but underneath the abuse and the stress, he was still her father. He was still all she had left.

She knew that he was getting help, so going off to rehab was a good thing, but she couldn't help but feel like he betrayed her. He chose alcohol over her, and now they were both paying the price.

"He's going to be okay, r-right?" Santana asked as they closed the door. She watched the car drive off until it was a little dot. She turned to look at Quinn and was surprised to see that the blonde had a few tears in her eyes as well. Who knew? After all that time, Quinn Fabray had a heart.

Quinn smiled softly and nodded. "He's going to be more than okay," she answered.

Santana nodded as she decided to take Quinn's word for it. She bit on her lip and debated whether or not to leave the conversation there, or to add something else. Something she's been wondering since the night before when they fucked on the floor. "And us?" She couldn't help but ask.

The night they shared was amazing and mind-blowing. Santana had no idea that sex could feel that good. She had never orgasmed that hard in her entire life. And the best part? She didn't go to sleep regretting the whole thing. It felt right and it felt perfect. She didn't need to second guess it because even though it was horribly wrong, she couldn't have asked for a better way to spend her night.

Her father would hate her but in a twisted way, it was worth it to spend that one amazing night with Quinn.

Her doubts on her sexual orientation were answered thanks to Quinn.

Santana Lopez was a lesbian. And she also had a crush on her dads girlfriend.

"We're great," Quinn whispered with a growing smile.

Santana felt her stomach twist at that. Yeah, that's what this was; a crush.

Dammit, she felt like she was 13 years old again. It was so thrilling and at the same time, it was slightly embarrassing. Especially with the age difference, Santana felt like she was way out of her league here. She had a crush on an older woman who probably wouldn't give her the time of day if it weren't for her good looks.

Because thats all Quinn liked about her, right? Her chest, ass and face. She made it very clear when they spoke in the bathroom.

_I was just appreciating a pretty face._

The words still echo in Santana's mind. Even though it was a compliment, Santana can't help but drained. What would a 30 year old possibly want with a soon to be 17 year old? Besides sex.

So yes, Santana was out of her league. Because even if, by some miracle, she wanted more with Quinn, the blonde would never agree to it. Not with a boyfriend that was providing her with more than enough emotional support.

But apparently, according to Quinn, they were great. And for now, that was enough.

Santana shut her eyes and nodded softly. "Good," she whispered. "Good. There are enough rocky things in my life. I don't need another." She reached out and grabbed Quinn's hands.

Quinn nodded and leaned down to kiss Santana's forehead softly. "I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"For convincing your dad to go to rehab. It's the best thing for him. I know that you were hesitant at first, but you did the right thing." Quinn looked down at her and smiled, desperate to lighten Santana's mood.

Santana shrugged sadly. "Doesn't feel like it. Because now he's gone and I'm alone."

Quinn squeezed her hands. "You're not alone, San. You're never alone. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Brown eyes locked with hazels and for a second, Santana believed the blonde. But then again, her Mama and Papa both said the same things and look how that ended up. They both left. So how could she possibly trust Quinn? "I wish I could believe you, Quinn. I really do."

A pale hand reached out and cupped Santana's cheek. She caressed the tanned cheekbone and ever so delicately whispered, "you'll see." And just like that, Quinn leaned in to give her a kiss.

Santana's eyes widened and she slowly pulled away. She didn't know why she pulled away. Why didn't she kiss Quinn? Her lips look so damn kissable! Santana hated herself for constantly second guessing everything, but she had to go with her instinct, and her instinct was screaming at her to pull away. To cover it up, she coughed slightly and scratched the back of her head. "I'm uh… gonna go upstairs."

Quinn's eyes looked sad for a moment before they darkened. She watched as Santana ran upstairs and before the Latina was in her room, Quinn mumbled, "You can't run away forever, babe." It didn't sound threatening, but it definitely sounded confident and harsh.

Santana heard every word.

* * *

Monday was one of the hardest days at school. With her father being away at rehab with no contact it was hard to focus on subjects she didn't care about. But what was even harder was walking around with a fake smile, pretending to be strong.

No one knew what she was going through.

Brittany didn't know that her father relapsed, and she also didn't know that she had sex with Quinn.

All of these secrets were pilling on and if Santana didn't deal with it soon, she knew she was going to explode.

Between classes, she ran into the bathroom, locked herself in one of the stalls and cried her little heart out. It was so terribly hard going through this all by herself. She just wished that someone cared enough to ask her how she was.

As if on cue, her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Santana wiped her tears and stayed seated on the closed toiled in the locked stall. She searched for her phone and swiped it open. It was her mystery tester.

Santana actually managed to forget about the weird texts she had been receiving from a nameless somebody. But now, on her worst day, the anonymous texter actually managed to make her smile.

**How was your weekend?**

Someone cared. Santana smiled slightly, bit on her lip before hesitantly responding.

**Both shitty and amazing. **

**Is that possible?**

She found herself giggling slightly, grateful for the distraction.

**Surprisingly, yes. **

**Wanna talk about it?**

**Not really. Thank you, though.**

She taped on her phone, impatiently waiting for the response.

**Any time. Smile today. You're beautiful when you smile.**

Her entire face blushed at the compliment and she let out a bit of air, slightly embarrassed by the text.

**Who is this?**

**It doesn't matter. **

**I want to know. Please?**

**I'll think about it, okay? Don't let me distract you. Enjoy your day, Santana. **

Santana decided to take what she could get. She nodded, shut her phone and smiled slightly to herself. She unlocked the bathroom stall door, walked towards the mirrors, cleaned up her make up, and returned to her class. Her shoulders felt a little lighter and her heart felt a little happier. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

Although the brief conversation with her mystery texter brightened her day, Santana still found it hard to put on a brave face and get through the day. There were several moments when Santana found herself wanting to reach for her phone and send an update text to her father. She wanted to casually talk to him, ask how his day was, vent to him about the crowded hallways, or simply tell him that she loved him.

She just wanted to talk to him.

You know that saying 'you don't know what you have until it's gone?' This is one of those times. Santana always appreciated and loved her father, however she never fully understood the effect he had on her.

He was her hero. And now he was gone. Sure, Richard would be back in 29 days, but this was currently day 1 and she was already going crazy.

When she remembered that she couldn't text her dad, she figured maybe she could text Quinn and waste some time. But then she realized that she didn't have the blonde's number. Her eyebrows furrowed and she pouted her lip before paying attention to the class. Why didn't she have Quinn's number? Whatever the reason, she would definitely ask for it later tonight.

Leaving her third period class, Santana's eyes landed on bright blue ones. Brittany looked as chipper as ever, and that was enough to make Santana _want_ to feel better, however not even Brittany was powerful enough to change her mood entirely.

Brittany skipped over, her cheerio skirt swaying as she made her way towards Santana. "Good morning best friend!"

Santana offered her a slight smile, one that Brittany could always read through.

Her face instantly dropped. "Oh no. Who died?"

The Latina chuckled bitterly and shrugged. "I'm not exactly having a good day, Britt. Sorry."

"No need to be sorry. That's what I'm here for, right? To make the bad days good days," she said it so simply and so energetically that Santana just wanted to hug her and protect her from all the mean people in the world.

Santana looked at her and nodded slowly. "I guess so."

Since they had lunch, they linked pinkies and walked towards the cafeteria. Brittany briefly spoke about Artie and how it's almost their 2 month anniversary. Santana was happy for them but at the same time, it just reminded her how lonely and confused she was.

Brittany spent half the lunch period trying to balance a french fry on her nose, and every time it fell down, she ate it and tried again with a new one. It was truly the game that never ended. However, it distracted Santana.

"So, since this clearly isn't making you feel better, how about you just tell me what's going on?" She offered, dropping the fry and giving Santana her undivided attention.

Santana sighed heavily and looked into blue eyes. "I just…" She started, and then she realized that she really had no idea what to say and where to start. Did she tell Brittany about the sex with Quinn? Did she tell her about the abuse? Did she tell her about her mothers return? What was the perfect amount of information? A part of Santana wanted to tell her every single detail just so she didn't have to live with this alone, anymore. But another part of her wanted to keep it held inside and away from anyone else. She didn't need Brittany's judgement.

"You just?"

"I've been feeling really lost lately, Brit."

Her face died. "Is this about Quinn? Are you still hung up on her?

Santana's eyes lowered to the table. _Yes. _"No."

Brittany smiled in relief and nodded. "Okay, good! I was gonna say…" She laughed softly. "So then what is it, S?" She reached out and grabbed Santana's hand, rubbing softly.

The Latina bit on her lip and she felt her eyes quickly fill with tears. "My m-m-mama came back."

Santana refused to look at Brittany, but if she did, she would have seen Brittany's eyes widen in shock and her mouth fall open. Brittany could hardly believe it. ".. What?"

"She came back! She came back to see me and talk to me and try to have a relationship with me! She… God Britt, she drove my Papa to drink again."

And if it were possible, Brittany's eyes widened more. "What?!" She spat.

Santana simply nodded.

"Wait, back up. Your dad relapsed?"

She nodded again.

Brittany was quickly by her side. She wrapped a comforting arm around Santana, rubbing her arms up and down as she kissed her forehead softly. "Oh my god, San.. I'm s-so sorry. I… I wish I knew earlier. When did this happen?"

"Two nights ago."

"God," she mumbled under her breath, shaking her head against Santana's head. "Why didn't you call me when it happened?"

Santana's jaw clenched when she remembered what she was _doing_ right after it happened. "I… I w-was busy," she lied. Well, it wasn't a lie.

"Busy doing what?" She asked, disapproval in her voice.

The Latina looked at her harshly. "Busy trying to rip the bottle from his hands!" She snapped.

Brittany flinched at how angry and loud Santana sounded. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, embarrassed. "I shouldn't expect you to call me the second something tragic happens. I just don't want you to think that you have to deal with these things alone."

"I wasn't alone. Quinn was there."

That seemed to catch Brittany's attention. She looked up at Santana and nodded slowly. "How did Quinn handle it?"

Santana shrugged. "She was upset, too. But she spent most of the time comforting me."

Brittany nodded, not entirely convinced. "So what happened? Did he quit again?"

The Latina cracked her finger, and Brittany knew that Santana only ever did that when she was stressed. "He's getting help," she answered.

"Getting help? Okay, what does that mean? Getting help where?"

Santana slowly looked up at her. "Rehab. He went away to rehab. He's in a 30 day program that has a guaranteed success rate."

Blue eyes filled with tears and once again, Brittany fiercely wrapped her arms around Santana, hugging the life out of her. "I'm so sorry, Santana! That must be so horrible! Especially with your birthday on Saturday."

The Latina nodded slowly and wiped her eyes when she felt a tear slide down her cheek. "It's the best thing for him. He's not strong enough to do it by himself again."

Brittany nodded as well. "You're so strong. You could probably bench press me, that's how strong you are."

Santana giggled.

"If you ever need to talk to someone, San, even if it's just to get your mind off of it, call me. As your best friend, I figure that it's my duty to be there for you at all times. Okay?"

The brunette smiled softly as she nodded. "Okay. Thanks Britt. Love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

Glee club that day was boring and for the first time in a while, Santana found herself desperate to get out of that room. Everyone was too happy.

Between the singing, gossip, and hand holding that they were all doing, Santana felt like the odd one out. Sure, she could easily go sit beside Dani and enjoy herself for a few moments, but that didn't make everything else in her life okay. That wouldn't bring her father back and that sure as hell wouldn't make her heart stop yearning for Quinn.

Being with Dani would only be denying the truth. And Santana Lopez was done lying to herself. She needed to start loving herself and making room for other people to love her, too.

"Okay, New Directions!" Will called, her clapping and loud voice made Santana cringe in her seat. "Sectionals is 3 weeks away, can you believe it? We need to start planning our set list. Here's what I was thinking: we could start with a Rachel solo, continue with a Finn and Rachel duet, and end it off with one big, happy group number."

Santana's face dropped.

"Oh hell to the no!" Mercedes called from the back row. The Latina smiled to herself because Mercedes stole the words out of her mouth. The girl stood up and crossed her arms. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schue, but I am sick and tired of singing background to Berry. She is not the only person in this club with a killer voice. I am just as talented as her. Hell, even Santana has an amazing voice! Everyone else deserves some credit around here, too."

The whole room went dead silent as Mercedes finished her rant. Rachel didn't seem too thrilled.

"Well, what do you suggest then, Mercedes?" Rachel asked snobbishly, turning in her chair to look at her enemy.

"Simple. We start with a Santana solo, continue with a Finn and Rachel duet, and end it off with a group number where I will be singing lead."

Santana's eyebrows shot up at Mercedes' suggestion. It actually seemed pretty fair. They would be showcasing the strongest voices while keeping it evenly spread out. Mercedes had a stroke of genius. "I like that idea," Santana spoke up with a smile.

Rachel pouted in her seat. "Mr. Schue!"

"No, now hold on, Rachel. Mercedes actually has a point, plus that sounds like a pretty strong setlist. Maybe we should try her idea."

"Finn, do something!" Rachel begged, jumping up from her chair. Finn grabbed her arm warningly and pulled her back down to the seat where she frowned and remained silent like a 5 year old on a time out.

He whispered something in Rachel's ear and whatever it was, it managed to shut her up. Finn looked at Mr. Schue with a soft smile and said, "we're in."

Will clapped his hands eagerly. "Great! Let's get started!"

As everyone stood up and started brainstorming, Santana sat there in complete shock. She was getting a solo. She would be singing by herself in front of an entire audience. Oh god.

* * *

Santana was grateful to be home. Funny how things change.

Just a few weeks ago, she would have done anything to not have to go home, and now, home was the only place she wanted to be. She wanted to curl up beside a fire, eat food, and talk to Quinn. Be with Quinn. Look at Quinn. She just wanted to know that the blonde was okay.

It was hard going an entire school day without hearing from her, let alone seeing her.

What if something horrible happened when she was at school and no one was there to help her?

Maybe that's just the dramatic side to her talking.

Santana threw her things on the counter and walked into the kitchen. "Quinn? I'm home!" She called out with a bite to her lip. She grabbed an apple from the fridge and took an eager bite. Santana hummed in delight as the juice filled her mouth.

The Latina found herself looked down at the kitchen floor. She blushed hotly at the memory. That was her first sexual encounter with another woman. She had sex with Quinn. It was hot and perfect and rushed, but it was everything. It meant everything to her.

It scared Santana how much she cared for Quinn. Because 4 years ago, she promised herself that she would never get close to someone else ever again. Because 99% of the time, they disappoint you. So, when her Mama left, Santana separated herself from anyone that even remotely cared about her.

Her papa and Brittany were the only exceptions to that rule. But now Quinn is here, and Santana is crazy about her. She thinks about her when she doesn't want to think about her, she misses her when she shouldn't miss her, and she finds herself imagining her when she definitely shouldn't be imagining her.

And the worst part of it all? Is that she is completely off limits. She belongs to someone else. And Santana can't stand it. She's genuinely jealous that Quinn isn't hers. God, when did she start sounding like Quinn?

Speaking of, the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted Santana's thoughts. She turned around to find Quinn standing there with a soft, almost happy smile. "Hi," she said. Her voice was raspy and it reminded Santana of the first time they met. Her heart ached at the thought. "How was school?"

"Honestly?" Santana asked with a hesitant chuckle. "Shitty."

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows and took a step closer. "Why? Did you really miss me _that_ much?" She asked with a teasing glint in her eyes. It was clear to Santana that Quinn was covering over her concern with cocky remarks. She could see it in Quinn's hazel eyes. She was sad to hear that Santana had a bad day, but she couldn't admit to it, so she covered it up with someone arrogant and confident.

Santana smiled at this discovery because deep down, Quinn cared about her. And for now, that was enough. "It was hard to focus in all of my classes. I kept thinking about my Papa. It's only been 2 days and I already miss him."

The blonde's smirk died down as she nodded slowly. She reached out and grabbed Santana's shoulder, rubbing up and down. "I know, sweetie. It's 30 days. We can do it together, okay? And when he comes back, it'll be worth it."

The girl knew that Quinn was right, but still, she couldn't help but doubt Quinn's words briefly. "Can I ask you something?" She asked, taking another bite of her apple.

Quinn smirked again and confidently leaned against the counter. "You just did, babe."

Santana rolled her eyes playfully. Secretly, she was happy to see this side of Quinn again. "Do you love my Papa?"

The question seemingly took Quinn off guard because her smile disappeared and her jaw clenched. Santana didn't think it was that hard of a question. "Well.. I…"

"Do you?" Santana asked again, not wanting to waste any time with Quinn beating around the bush.

"I think I could," Quinn answered, shrugging. "He's a great guy and he has a lot of the qualities in a person that I'm looking for. Not all, but quite a few. He treats me right and we get along really well. I know that if I married him, I would be happy. But as of right now? No, I don't love him. Any ounce of love I had for him died when he hurt you. The moment his hand touched your beautiful cheek, I practically resented him."

Santana sighed heavily and her eyes softened.

"I know that it was the addiction and it wasn't him, which was why I didn't leave him. But it's still hard to look at him after he did that to you. Once he gets better and he makes amends, I think I could love him."

The teenager groaned frustratingly and bowed her head. "The selfish part of me is happy to hear that, but the daughter instinct in me isn't as happy," she said honestly, blushing at her own honesty.

"What do you mean?"

"As his daughter, I should hope that you love him. I mean… I don't want you to get his hopes up on marriage if you don't see yourself marrying him. There is a strong part of me that is really protective over him," Santana explained herself and shrugged.

Quinn nodded in understanding. "And the other part?"

The brunette licked her lips and scratched the back of her head. "The other part of me is selfish and wants you all to myself."

Hazel eyes sparked in lust and playfulness. "Is that right? Looks like I'm not the only one who gets jealous, huh? And jealous of your father? Quite a turn of events we have here, babe."

Santana groaned again and let out a soft chuckle. She needed to change the subject because soon enough, her face was going to heat up and explode from embarrassment. She hated admitting that she was selfish, even if she was. "How long are we going to avoid talking about what happened between us the other night?"

Recognition covered Quinn's face as she nodded slowly. Her lips quirked upward. "The sex?"

The Latina blushed. How could Quinn possibly be so casual and charming at the same time? "Yes. The…. The sex."

"I was waiting for you to bring it up first," she admitted.

"Well consider this me bringing it up. It was….." Santana desperately searched for the proper adjective to describe sex with Quinn.

The blonde took that as an opportunity to fill in the blanks. "Sexy? Amazing? Mind blowing?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Overwhelming," she decided.

Quinn didn't exactly look satisfied with that word choice, but she nodded slowly. "Overwhelming?"

"Yeah. It… The whole thing escalated really quickly. We went from ignoring each other for a week to fucking on the kitchen floor. And it just came out of nowhere."

"You regret it." It wasn't a question. Quinn was simply stating a fact and her eyes looked so broken in that moment. Santana felt like someone punched her in the gut.

Santana rushed forward, grabbing onto Quinn's arms frantically. "What? No! No, of course not. I told you that night that I didn't regret it. I _don't_ regret it. But it was still hard to process what we did and what it meant." Santana cupped Quinn's cheek hesitantly and smiled shyly.

"It was fun," Quinn simply said.

Santana sighed heavily, feeling an argument coming on. She didn't want to fight with Quinn, not when they have the house to themselves and she had a shitty day at school. Not when she spent all day missing her. "Yes, it was fun."

Quinn smiled. "So then why are you trying to dissect it?"

"I just want to know what I meant," Santana explained, increasingly getting more and more frustrated.

"Why does it have to mean something?" Quinn asked, closing herself off.

Hearing those words sparked something in Santana. Something protective and self conscious. Something mad. She couldn't believe Quinn just said that. But it was true. Why _did _it have to mean something? "B-Because," she stuttered lamely, not being able to find an accurate excuse. Her eyes traveled the floor, desperate to think of something. But she couldn't come up with an answer without drawing a blank. Why was it so important to her that sex between them meant something more? Sex never meant anything to her before, so why was this time different? Why was Quinn different? And why was she desperate for Quinn to feel the same way?

Quinn sighed and scratched the back of her head. "Santana, I know this is a complicated situation. I never thought I would end up here, but I did so I'm just enjoying the ride. Is that so terrible?"

"Yes!"

"Why?!"

Santana was far too upset to stay standing. So, she started pacing the kitchen floor. "Because I don't want to just be _someone_ to you," she blurted. Santana's eyes widened at herself, shocked and unaware why she just said that.

Quinn looked confused, too. Her eyebrows furrowed and she jutted her chin out. "What?" The blonde reached out, interlaced their fingers, squeezed Santana's hands comfortingly and then looked up at her.

"I want to be more than that. I want to be more than just fun and meaningless."

The blonde sighed heavily. "San, I don't really understand what you're trying to say."

The Latina's eyes fluttered open and she shyly made eye contact with Quinn. "I'm scared," she admitted.

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows. "Of what?"

"You, mostly."

Hazel eyes softened sympathetically and Santana could hear Quinn sigh softly. "Why's that?"

"You're intimidating. You're scary. You're powerful. You make me feel weak. But you also make me feel things I promised myself I would never feel again." Santana couldn't believe she was actually admitting to all of this. She felt like her heart was unwillingly being ripped out and fed to the public. Why couldn't she just stop talking?

If Santana didn't know any better, she could have sworn that she saw Quinn smile for a fraction of a second. "What did you promise yourself?"

"When my Mama left, I promised myself that I would never…." she paused to think of the right word. For a moment she wanted to say 'love' but this wasn't love. She did _not_ love Quinn. "Get close to anyone again because I'll only end up hurt. I stayed away from intimate and romantic relationships because I was convinced they never worked out. But with you, I _want_ to be close. I want to know everything about you and be myself with you. I want way more than I signed up for and it scares the fuck out of me."

Quinn stood there, frozen, for what felt like hours. Santana was getting more and more panicky as the seconds passed. She practically laid her entire heart out on the line and the anticipation for hearing Quinn's response was too hard to handle. And the blonde wasn't giving any hints with her face as to how she felt.

"Please say something before I claw my eyes out."

The blonde chuckled softly. "Did you just confess your love for me?"

Santana's eyes widened in fear before she broke out into nervous laughter. "What?! No!" She squeaked, feeling her eyes fill with tears in embarrassment. "God no. I'm just telling you that what we have scares me because I'm not good at goodbyes."

"What makes you think you'll have to say goodbye to me?"

The Latina sighed heavily and forced a smile. She had to be strong. "Well we have two options here, Quinn. Either my Papa finds out about us and he forces me to never see you again, or I do the right thing and do everything possible to get over you before anyone gets hurt. Either way I end up saying goodbye."

Quinn nodded and bit on her lip. It was clear that she was trying to come up with some helpful, meaningful words to make her feel better, but instead, she said, "or you could just get under me?"

Santana stared at her for a moment before she broke out into laughter. "Do you always have to do that?"

"It's part of the charm, babe," she cooed, reaching out and cupping Santana's cheek. "Don't stress, okay? You're far too young to worry about so many things."

The teenager sighed heavily. "It worries me that you're not stressed. Aren't you scared that he's gonna find out about us?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's always a possibility. We'll deal with it when the day comes."

Santana looked down and licked her lips. "So are you telling me that you're gonna marry my dad and spend the rest of your life casually fucking me? Is that what our future looks like, because I'm not too sure I want to partake in that."

The blonde leaned forward and connected their foreheads. "All I know is that I'm crazy about you. If staying with your dad is the only way I can be with you, then I'm going to do it. I know it sounds selfish and horrible but I don't want to give you up."

"I don't even know why I'm arguing with you on this. I don't _do _relationships. I don't _do_ commitment. That's not the kind of person I am," Santana said, but she was mostly just trying to convince herself.

Quinn's smile faded slightly. "Good," but she didn't sound too convinced.

The brunette shut her eyes and let out a bitter laugh. Santana was trying to bite her tongue but she could hardly hold it back anymore. It came out like word vomit. "I'm trying to be cool about this, Quinn, I really am, but I'm freaking out here. I've never felt like this before! It's unnerving and it's not a good feeling at all. I don't want to have to spend my Friday nights watching you and my Papa make heart eyes at each other while you and I play footsie underneath the kitchen table. I don't want to watch him purpose and celebrate with closet sex with you while he's in the shower. I don't want to have to be supportive over your relationship with him when it's secretly killing me. It's not fair that you're jealous over all my friends, yet I'm not allowed to get slightly jealous over-" Santana was interrupted with fierce lips connecting with hers.

And just like that, she relaxed.

Santana felt like she was flying every time Quinn kissed her. Puck's kisses never excited her. If anything, she counted down the seconds until it was over. But with Quinn, she would do anything just to get a few more seconds with her. Kissing her was everything.

She stood on her tippy toes, desperate for more. She hummed gratefully into Quinn's mouth and slipped her tongue along the blonde's bottom lip. Santana eagerly wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and smiled when she felt the blondes arms wrap around her waist encouragingly.

Their tongues eagerly met and Santana felt like she was on cloud 9. Yup, she was definitely in trouble.

Santana pulled away and placed her forehead against Quinn's. "I love kissing you," she admitted.

Quinn's mouth moved towards Santana's neck as she peppered her exposed skin with love bites and nips. "I love doing other things to you," she responded, making Santana blush.

The Latina threw her head back and moaned, chuckling lightly. "I just wish I knew what we were-

"Shh.. Quinn whispered, pecking Santana's mouth adorably. "Stop thinking about it. You're gonna kill yourself with all the doubt. Live in the moment, sweetheart."

It definitely sounded appealing, but they had so much shit they needed to figure out. She tensed at the idea.

Quinn grabbed her hand and silently walked towards the couch. "Come on. I'm giving you a massage," she insisted.

Santana pouted because honestly, she would have preferred to make out for a few hours. "Why?

"Because you look tense and you said that you had a bad day at school."

The Latina found herself smiling as she followed Quinn to the couch. "Or you just want an excuse to put your hands all over me," she winked playfully and laid down on the couch.

Quinn straddled her from behind and Santana moaned quietly to herself. "Baby, you and I both know I don't need an excuse to touch you."

Santana inhaled sharply at the lust hidden in her voice. And before she could say something playful in response, those gorgeous hands were rubbing her back greedily.

"So did you tell Brittany about your dad?"

"You actually want me to talk about Brittany right now?" Santana asked, both surprised and impressed.

Quinn chuckled from on top of her. "I still think that she has hidden intentions with you, but I can tell that you're not interested in her. Even if blondes are your type." She rubbed Santana's shoulders slowly and harshly.

"Shut up," Santana said playfully. "Yeah I told her. She was a little upset that I didn't tell her sooner, and I understand that, but I told her I needed time to deal with it and accept it on my own before sharing it with other people."

The blonde nodded from on top of her and moved her hands lower. "I understand where she's coming from. It sucks to be out of the loop."

Santana nodded in agreement. "I get it, too. But after he relapsed I was a little… preoccupied."

Quinn giggled and Santana smiled in response. "Damn right you were."

"I don't think you would have been too happy with me if I stopped in the middle and called Brittany to tell her what happened."

"Touche." Quinn paused her hand movements and Santana could tell that she wanted to ask her something. "Does Brittany know about you and me?"

Santana cleared her throat and bit back a moan when Quinn's hands travelled towards her lower back. "She knows that I had an infatuation with you. She knows that we made out in the bathroom that one time, but she doesn't know that we had sex. I was gonna tell her but she wouldn't understand. No one would understand."

The brunette could feel Quinn nod from on top of her. "Good call. The more people that know, the less chance we have of getting away with it."

At those words, Santana's face died down. She fidgeted on the couch and urged Quinn off of her. Pouting, the blonde got off and sat down. Santana stood up and cleaned herself off before sitting properly on the couch, leaving a decent enough space between Quinn and herself. She didn't want Quinn touching her right now. "I'm a horrible daughter."

Quinn sighed heavily and she cringed. "I'm a horrible girlfriend."

"That's true," Santana agreed and they both chuckled. "I'm a lesbian." It was the first time that Santana simply and proudly spoke those words out loud. God, it felt good.

Quinn's face brightened up. "You're…" She repeated, moving towards her on the couch and laughing brightly. "I am so proud of you." She eagerly wrapped her arms around Santana and hugged her close. "I don't know what to call this, but I like you a lot Santana. I don't want this to end. And I know I'm being selfish and horrible and possessive as fuck, but I… I-I just-fuck- I need you, okay?"

Hearing those words so passionately whispered into her ear made Santana's heart ache with promise. She nodded against Quinn's cheek and smiled to herself. "I need you, too. More than I'm willing to admit."

Quinn pulled away and beamed happily. "Good." Quickly she leaned in and pecked Santana's lips.

They both smiled at each other and easily fell into normal behaviour. Quinn turned on the TV and together, they casually watched cartoons.

"Oh!" Santana remembered, smiling softly. "I've been meaning to ask you," she dug out her phone from her pocket. "Whats your number?"

Quinn playfully looked over at her and winked. "In case you're in desperate need of a quickie?"

Santana reached over and slapped her playfully. "Shut up. In case I'm lonely and bored and in desperate need of entertainment."

The blonde nodded slowly and she seemed to be contemplating whether or not to actually give out her number. Santana didn't understand the hesitation but thankfully, after about 10 seconds, Quinn listed those 10 magical numbers. Oddly enough, the 10 numbers almost sounded familiar. Almost like Santana has heard that number before.

She looked through her old text messages, trying to figure out how she knew that number and suddenly, she found herself rereading messages with her mystery texter. She read the 10 numbers and matched it up with Quinn's and her eyes widened.

They were identical.

Quinn was her mystery texter.

Quinn found the need to anonymously text her throughout the day and ask her simple, yet thoughtful questions.

Quinn just wanted to talk to Santana without identifying herself.

Santana bit her lip and slowly looked up at Quinn. The blonde didn't seem aware of Santana's epiphany and for that, Santana was grateful. She could definitely use this information to her advantage.

Now that she knew who the mystery texter was, she could definitely have some fun with this.

* * *

**I had CRAZY writers block during this chapter which was why it was a day late. Sorry. It's definitely not my best, but I put a lot of effort into it. **

**Hope you enjoyed it. **

**Review like crazy please, I need motivation!**


	18. Authors Note

HEY FELLOW READERS!

I know most of you were all excited to see the update for this story, but I'm sorry to inform you that it's just me and not Quinntana. You have all been so wonderfully impatient for the next chapter, and I mean that in a good way. Oddly enough, when you guess get frustrated with my lack of updates, it reminds me how much I love you all and this story.

Don't worry, this story is STILL in the process. Quinntana are still slowly building to their finish. We're on this ride together, friends.

However, unfortunately, this next week and a bit is CRAZY difficult for me. I got my first job, I have an after school play that I'm committed to, I have school projects, I have to be a good girlfriend, and it was my birthday yesterday! So I have a lot of things going on for me right now, and I am limited to about 1 hour of writing every night and 1 hour is not nearly enough to be satisfied with my work.

I made this authors note so you guys would know what I'm dealing with. I don't want you guys to think I've abandoned this story. That's the last thing I want. PLEASE, stay interested, and I promise you that the next chapter will be up within the next two weeks.

My prediction is December 8th.

LOVE YOU ALL, SO SORRY!


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